There are a few so called customs in the area that I live that I'm not thrilled about. The garter toss and bouquet toss is one of them, but everyone here actually looks forward to it. J is looking forward to it and I really don't want it to become this obscene thing I've seen at other receptions. Once it starts, it's really out of my control so I'm working on convincing him of why it's a bad idea.
Another common thing is the dollar dance. Isn't it the same as asking for money? I've seen brides get A LOT of money from it, but I kind of feel like it's almost akin to dancing for money.
I will NOT be having a dollar dance because I'm just not comfortable with it, but what is the general opinion of them?
Re: Dollar Dance (*cringe*)
The Dollar Dance is REALLY common in my area. Not side-eyed by most people. I'm personally not doing one, for a few reasons. It's just another way to ask for cash, and it's tacky. But for me, I have a big personal space issue, and don't like touching anyone unless I'm really comfortable with them. There's at least one person who's coming that I do NOT want to dance with, and he's the type who'll definitely participate. It's not as if I can say no to a dance, so we're just not doing it. My mom was really shocked when I told her I'm not doing it, but she got over it. The only thing I've ever liked about the dollar dance is that it gives you a minute to say congrats to the bride/groom.
I'm also not doing the garter toss. The wedding is going to be hard enough for me in terms of being the center of attention and having PDA, even at a small level. I can't wrap my head around having people watch FI retrieve the garter. And then having whoever catches the garter put it on the girl who caught the bouquet is horrible awkward. I'll still do the bouquet toss, but we're ditching the garter business.
As for the garter toss, if you choose to have one, I'd talk to FI and let him know the boundaries you are comfortable with. The groom can just have the tossing garter at the ready so he doesn't have to go up your skirt to get it if he really wants to do it.
Very well said!
Officially hitched as of 10/25/13
I have been to weddings with dollar dances. I stayed in my seat. A friend of mine once went to a wedding with a dollar dance and NO ONE got up to do it. Apparently that was the moment everyone went out for a smoke break. So everyone who says it's "totally expected!!!!" in Western PA has their head up their arse.
Also, we will not be doing the garter toss. It grosses me out. Haven't decided on the bouquet yet. We won't have many single guests that aren't under 10 years old.
I do respect others that are totally against it and I would never bash anyone who decided to have one.
We went to a wedding in Dec. that had a dollar dance and another thing where a volunteer at the table had to take out a bill bigger $20 or bigger to loan to the table and you played pass the $ until the music stopped and whoever was left had to bring the bride the money.... the person who had taken the money out initially had no idea they were losing it....and were seriously pissed. I couldn't believe the bride just sat stood there accepting it and counting it. She told me later they made about $300 between that and the dollar dance. I was mortified.
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
WHAT?!
I told everyone at my table what was happening, so no one pulled out any money...and the DJ wouldn't progress until he had a representative from each table.
This wedding also had a cash bar, which didn't bother anyone except me because soft drinks weren't included. That's my peeve with cash bars...when soft drinks have to be paid for. At least they had a pitcher of water available.
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
I don't want to do a garter toss. He thinks that's me being no fun either. Blech. I'll do a bouquet toss tho.
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
We did the bridal dance (many here called it the dollar dance) and had a blast. Everyone went through the line an average of twice. Some paid, some didnt, everyone took a shot and everyone got to dance with me. DH's family wasnt sure about it, then after they danced with me and heard my family and I singing along in Czech they joined in and they had a blast. His family even participated in the circle to keep me away from DH who ended up crowd surfing to get me. LOL. My MOH luckily kept the pinning of the bills off of me but we did have some heavily knotted bills as punishment. I think it depends how you do it, if its a fundraiser it comes off wrong but if folks see the family tradition (I am in the first generation on my moms side off the boat and second with my dads and our families are very young with my dad only being 45 and mom 43 while I am 27) they are more likely to have fun doing it. But bills werent required.
We also did the garter, DH just reached up my dress and was laughing and it was not obscene. We had an adult only wedding so no children in the catches. The two that caught the garter and bouquet were a couple and I laughed so hard my insides hurt. It was super cute.
Since you're uncomfortable with the garter toss, why not just switch it up and have you remove part of your new husband's undergarments in front of everyone?
Less sarcasticlly, yes, there are ways to make it more sexualized, but at the end of the day, he's still throwing your undergarments to the crowd. If you aren't thrilled about doing it, that's the end of the conversation.
So there's that defense too. You don't want to creep your kids out 15 years later when your husband decides it'll be fun to share your wedding with the kiddos.
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.