Tipping
I am trying to figure out who needs to be tipped and how much at our venue. Our venue includes a "coordinator", who didn't really do much yet but I guess the day of she will be the one to coordinate things (or at least I hope she does). She is in charge of getting the room ready, and we met with her twice. We also were required to get the food from the venue, so our total bill included: ceremony location fee, reception room fee, food, and bar. It was all charged a "service fee" of 21%.
So with that in mind, what who would I still need to tip? I asked if servers were tipped (it's a plated meal) and she said no, but the bartender is. Is it just me or is that really weird? Does that mean it's not expected to tip the servers? (Just an FYI I like in CA so servers are paid AT LEAST minimum wage) If I should still tip them, what percentage would be appropriate? I'm used to tipping around 20% at restaurants but that is when they take my order, bring my drinks, etc. The escort cards have the meal selections and people will go to the bar for drinks so all the servers do is serve the food and clear the tables correct? Am I rude to think that doesn't need a full 20%?
Also, do I need to tip the coordinator or would that be included in the 21% service charge? Should I ask? I feel like asking about her tip would be weird... But since she is included I would have no idea where to start with a tip for her.
Thank you for your help!
Re: Tipping
I'm a little curious about this question too so I tried to search the Ask Carly section of TK but the page wouldn't load... It's out there though so you may want to check it out. Let me just preface this by saying that I'm a little uncertain on this topic also but here's what I got:
I would ask your venue if the "service fee" includes or is meant to include gratuity. Our venue is covering the same things yours is (ceremony, reception, food & drinks) and they charge 18% gratuity on all food & drink eliminating a need to tip staff. Of course, they called it "gratuity" in the contract...
As for the coordinator, I would get a sense of what all she is doing for the event first - just send her an email asking for the specifics of what "event coordination" (or however it is worded in the contract) means. Then you can decide if it is worthy of a tip and how much. The "coordination" in my contract is pretty limited; she will liase with the other vendors during the reception but not before and try to keep the reception timeline on track but that's it. We will base our tip on how well everything flows and give it to her after the fact.
I believe I read on TK that you tip any vendors that are employees of a business and not the business owner but hopefully some of the knotties here can clarify that. Remember too, that a tip is based on how well the service is performed.
Hope this helps..
Her wording for the service fee was that it was to "ensure that you have servers and staff for your event, however they do not personally get any tips. The bartender however does, 18-20% of the total bar bill". To me that makes it sound like the service fee is actually paying the wages for the servers, am I right? If they include a gratuity to the bartender but not the servers I am just curious whether or not it is expected for the servers to be tipped separately. Why would they tip one and not the other?
My coordinator is very similar to yours. She will greet vendors when they come the day of, she organizes having the room set up (right color linens, centerpieces set up, set out guest book, etc.), and keeps the reception timeline. I just don't even know where to start with that. What would be a "you did an amazing job" tip versus "well, we made it through the day" tip.
For the venue DOC, how much does a DOC cost a la carte in your area? I'd find out an average and then do a percentage of that to calculate her tip, if you feel she was worth it.
At my wedding tips for the staff were included in our per person rate but the bartenders did have a tip glass out which many people contributed to. We didn't have a coordinator, the manger of the venue took care of coordinating the set up of everything for us and the timing of everything (our venue provided linens, cake and centerpieces so only extra vendor was dj).
I know TK says that you shouldn't (or don't have to) tip business owners, but I disagree.
My DJ and ceremony musicians are the business owners and I am tipping them. I do, however have a range that I'm planning on tipping them (and its less than the 20% "service charge"). I look at it this way: how much influence do they have over my day? If the DJ is awesome and really contributes to an awesome reception, why wouldn't I tip him to let him know?
My venue also has a coordinator, who I will likely buy a thank-you gift for (in lieu of a tip). Same with my DOC. I'm thinking gift cards along with a thank-you card for both of them.
I'm definitely tipping my DJ, Florist, and Cake baker all around 20%. All of them own their business but I know they still deserve a tip. My bigger problem is deciding the tip for the DOC because I don't know what her service would normally have cost, and figuring out how much to tip the servers. I don't know why but I'm having such a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that ON TOP of the 21% service fee I ALSO need a 20% tip, and they're doing way less work than they would as a waiter or waitress in a restaurant.
That means I would be spending more on just the gratuity for the waiters than I did on pretty much anything else. The entire cake including tip would be less, the flowers with tip would be less, the DJ with tip would be less. And I feel like the waiters would be doing much less work than any one of those vendors.
1. I guess I've never done it so you're right. It may be just as hard to serve at a wedding as it is to wait on a table at a restaurant. Let me explain my thought process, because I'm not a total B as I feel it may look. I just thought that at a stit down restaurant they come to my table, give me a menu, let me choose my food, take my order, bring me drinks, and come to my table several times. At a wedding I expect them just to bring my pre-ordered food that is labeled at my place setting, and clear the plates. I thought of it as one step above a buffet restaurant. At a buffet they bring you a drink and clear your plates, but I don't typically tip 20% at a buffet because I do the "going to get my food". This was my logic, I did not mean to offend servers at weddings.
2. I have no idea how many servers there will be. I was hoping to have the tip envelopes ready so that it was one less thing for me to do once the reception started. I wanted to avoid having extra cash with me, not even planning on having a purse or wallet or anything. I will call the venue and see if this is something I can find out ahead of time.
3. This is a very good point. Although as I explained when I signed my contract I paid a 21% service fee, so I had no idea until recently that tips would not be included. I assumed (wrongly, my bad I know) that a service fee meant gratuity. I am capable and prepared if that is what is expected. It's not the fact that I can't afford what I chose. It is that I was kinda baffled by the whole deception of the service fee, because I really do feel deceived. My goal in this post was to get several opinions on what the expectations were.
Thank you for your feedback, it gave me another perspective.
I completely feel you on the "service fee" thing. It is unfair and deceptive of reception halls not to fully explain what that is for - and the servers agree with you. Most of the time, halls don't explain it, people assume and we didn't get a tip.
Stardust, I really appreciate your explanation. As I said I never really thought about it, but the way you put it really makes sense.
Annathy- I think the 21% charge should totally be called something along those lines. I would totally have understood the "setup/tear down" charges and would still have expected to add gratuity in addition.
Also, I just realized you asked - the general rule of thumb is usually one server for every two tables, but it'd be a good idea to double check with your venue.
@lynda, I can see your point, I just don't think of it that way personally. I mean to me of course it takes people time to set up and clean everything and all that, and of course those people need paid to do it.