My fiance proposed to me in August and at the beginning of September we had our wedding party decided and asked. I asked my bridesmaids to choose a black dress they would feel comfortable and would wear again to a different event. My fiance and I ended up moving to a different city (about 1 hour and 1/2 away) in the middle of September. Since then I have had doubts about one of my girl friends being in the wedding party and I think I made a mistake about one of my bridesmaids and would rather have my sister in law who i am very close to for the following reasons...
1. The bridesmaid dress she chose does not look flattering for her figure.
2. I expressed my opinion on the bridesmaid dress she was going to wear for my wedding and offered to help her find a new one. She accepted but then blew me off one day and the 2nd day she tried to get out dress shopping again.
3. She told me that she was going to buy the nonflattering dress and asked me not to be upset.
4 I told her that I already expressed my opinion on the dress and we needed to find a different one, she agreed to it and we went shopping and found one that looks better than the one she chose.
5. The shopping was extremely uncomfortable, she wasnt in a good mood, and i felt as though I was dragging her around the mall and telling her what to try on. However, she wouldnt show me half the dresses she tried on and wasnt open to trying on some of the ones i suggested.
6. When we parted ways it was uncomfortbale
and finally i do not feel as though we are as close as we were when i lived in town.
She has been asking about time she should take off...but she just doesnt seem to me like she is excited to be a part of the wedding party
I am pretty much going to talk to her and say "_________, when we got engaged you were extremely excited for us and we were really close friends. Since then, you do not seem as excited to me and I feel as though we are not as close of friends as we were when I lived in town. I am getting the impression that you will be happier as a guest in the wedding, not in the wedding party."
Any suggestions, advice? I know it is my day and I need to do what feels right.