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Morning Wedding, Afternoon Rodeo, Evening Reception

skennygirl18skennygirl18 member
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in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Okay so this is a topic I've seen discussed a few times: Having a wedding in the morning (say, 10?) then doing the reception that evening around 7 pm in a different location. I've thought about the inconveniences, that not everyone who attends the wedding will make it to the reception or people might opt for the reception over the wedding. Here's a catch to our wedding though: My fiance is a die-hard team roper and it's pretty common around our neck of the woods to host ropings for birthdays or holiday activities, so he asked if we could do one with our reception. I haven't ever heard of anyone doing this so I thought it would definitely be unique so absolutely yes! The more we get into planning the wedding the more I'm getting gut torn about it because I don't want to put people off by spreading the day out so much, but I don't want to turn Bridezilla on my fiance and tell him things we can't do it because I don't think it will work so smoothly. I mean, it's OUR wedding and if that is the one thing he wants, I feel like he should get it. The original plan is to do the wedding in my hometown at our farm (brief, 1/2 hour-45 min wedding) in the morning around 10:30, have a light luncheon after, snap some pictures, then head to the reception location near his hometown which is about 1.5 hours away, start roping at 1 or 2, then reception dinner/dance at 7 (possibly more posed pictures). I've considered just moving the wedding to the same place as the roping and reception but I know my dad won't be happy about having to be away all day long so now I'm leaning back to just sticking with our original idea because I need a happy daddy around ;) I won't be offended if people opt to just come to one or the other, but I do want it to be a fun event, especially for people coming from long distances and for our wedding party. Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Let me have em...! 
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Re: Morning Wedding, Afternoon Rodeo, Evening Reception

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    mlg78mlg78 member
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    There are so many things going wrong in this situation I don't know where to begin...  I think a rodeo is completely inappropriate.  This is your wedding and the celebration of your marriage and beginning of your life together, not your fiancé showing off a hobby of his.  Plus, that is the longest gap I've ever seen between a wedding and reception. Ever.  Lastly, your reception is 1 1/2 hours away from your wedding?  A HUGE number of people would decline.
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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
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    skennygirl18 said:
    Okay so this is a topic I've seen discussed a few times: Having a wedding in the morning (say, 10?) then doing the reception that evening around 7 pm in a different location. I've thought about the inconveniences, that not everyone who attends the wedding will make it to the reception or people might opt for the reception over the wedding. Here's a catch to our wedding though: My fiance is a die-hard team roper and it's pretty common around our neck of the woods to host ropings for birthdays or holiday activities, so he asked if we could do one with our reception. I haven't ever heard of anyone doing this so I thought it would definitely be unique so absolutely yes! The more we get into planning the wedding the more I'm getting gut torn about it because I don't want to put people off by spreading the day out so much, but I don't want to turn Bridezilla on my fiance and tell him things we can't do it because I don't think it will work so smoothly. I mean, it's OUR wedding and if that is the one thing he wants, I feel like he should get it. The original plan is to do the wedding in my hometown at our farm (brief, 1/2 hour-45 min wedding) in the morning around 10:30, have a light luncheon after, snap some pictures, then head to the reception location near his hometown which is about 1.5 hours away, start roping at 1 or 2, then reception dinner/dance at 7 (possibly more posed pictures). I've considered just moving the wedding to the same place as the roping and reception but I know my dad won't be happy about having to be away all day long so now I'm leaning back to just sticking with our original idea because I need a happy daddy around ;) I won't be offended if people opt to just come to one or the other, but I do want it to be a fun event, especially for people coming from long distances and for our wedding party. Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Let me have em...! 

    What is roping?
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    mlg78mlg78 member
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    edited June 2013

    I'm assuming this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calf_roping

     

    Romantic, don't you think?  Are guests supposed to attend this in their wedding attire too? Oy vey...

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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
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    mlg78 said:

    I'm assuming this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calf_roping

     

    Romantic, don't you think?  Are guests supposed to attend this in their wedding attire too? Oy vey...


    Thank you. How appropriate for a wedding reception!
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    PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
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    I guess if your friends and family are super into rodeos they would enjoy watching your FI rope cows, but nobody enjoys waiting for food.

    If this is an absolute must for you, don't delay the food and let people migrate back and forth to watch your FI once the main courses are over. Heck, I dunno, it kind of amuses me to think about having a waiter wander around with apps and drinks while people watch the show.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    MuppetFanMuppetFan member
    5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper First Comment
    Some ideas for a venue with rodeo theme: image
    image
    image
    image
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    rel1988rel1988 member
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    I get its reflective of FI's personality but please don't do this to your guests.... If I would invited I would probably just attend the reception to skip the gap and roping. You might have a lot of guests also coming for part of your wedding.
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    mlg78mlg78 member
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    snippet17 said:
    I always cheer on the bull when it comes to bullfighting

    If I was invited to your wedding I would give you a note that said instead of a gift I am giving my money to ASPCA.

    I love, love, love, love, loooooove this comment so very much! :)
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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
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    If the ceremony, rodeo, and reception were all in the same town, one event right after the other, I'd say go for it. But those gaps and the 90-mile one-way drive from the ceremony to the reception? No way.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Well, this is new territory, at least.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    libby2483libby2483 member
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    I...uh...just...no. 
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    RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
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    OK, I'm not a country girl, but one side of my family is very country and I've been part of several very country weddings. I think I see where the OP is coming from here. Hang on a minute, OP, let's see what we can do.

    The main thing is that you need to keep your ceremony and reception together, one right after the other. That's just basic good manners. A good idea is to have your simple ceremony in the morning like you're talking about, then have your lunch reception. You can do an outdoor picnic with barbecue or something indoors, whatever you have available to you. Lots of cute ideas above and on Pinterest and here for country themed ideas. (That cake looks awesome.)  Invite everyone on your guest list to both. Make that the entire 'wedding event'.  Then after, if there's a local rodeo around or going roping is something they do, then you two and your friends and family who want to go can change clothes and go do that. Or, like suggested, they can do it for his bachelor party. Or, even have a day after party and do it the next afternoon.  One of these ways your FI can have what he wants, and there will still be a pretty wedding for you. It's just really not appropriate for you to ask your guests to sit around all day in their wedding clothes, in the sun and wind and dirt to watch a rodeo, then wait for dinner and dancing, or drive home and then drive back, or pick and choose which events they want to go to. I think you've kind of thought of this already, which is why you're asking.
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    skennygirl18skennygirl18 member
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    Here is the problem with The Knot...I don't feel support for the "country" people at all, and there are soooo many people on here that aren't part of that lifestyle or any where close to it AND are extremely ignorant. Thanks for the input, but no thanks. Don't post replies to something you don't have a clue about or anything constructive to say, all whilst telling me I'm rude for my idea. Wow! I apologize that my family is part of a lifestyle a little grittier than yours, but hey enjoy those mass concrete jungles you're cheering for animal rights from. Think I'll go home and kick my dog! :) Please don't assume things, and I'll try not to do the same.
    This isn't something that's just for my "FI"... it's a thing that's enjoyed by both of us, plus family and friends. And my family hasn't said it's silly, I just know my dad is a homebody and it's hard to get him to leave home for anything, let alone an extended event with lots of people. 
    Some of you more open minded people (country or not) made some good thoughts and suggestions, although I must say my favorite post was from RebeccaB88. To all of you, THANK YOU for being considerate and examining the situation pros/cons!!
     I guess I am a bit ignorant myself in the fact that I wasn't viewing a reception as a thank you to guests. I've always gone to receptions as a chance to congratulate the new couple and celebrate their new life, not expecting anything for me. I go to show support and love for them so to me, a reception is a celebration for the newlyweds. If it wasn't about us at all then why plaster our pictures and decorations everywhere to our liking and hosting it at a location we're fond of, serving our favorite food? The thank you notes are for thank yous. I'm ok with people only opting to go to just the reception, and even more ok with people not attending the roping to spectate, but I agree it's a bummer that the agenda would make some people have to choose and/or devote a morning & evening to us, which is in fact more of the source of my conflict, along with trying to make so much happen in one day.  But just to clarify, I'm not real particular on what people wear to the wedding/reception (I could really care less. I'm more interested in people being comfortable. Shorts and flip flops, totally acceptable for audience members. If you wanna dress up, awesome. If not, no judgement here...). But again, thank you to everyone who gave open suggestions, even if you don't agree with the plan. That's what I was looking for. 
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    skennygirl18 said:
    Here is the problem with The Knot...I don't feel support for the "country" people at all, and there are soooo many people on here that aren't part of that lifestyle or any where close to it AND are extremely ignorant. Thanks for the input, but no thanks. Don't post replies to something you don't have a clue about or anything constructive to say, all whilst telling me I'm rude for my idea. Wow! I apologize that my family is part of a lifestyle a little grittier than yours, but hey enjoy those mass concrete jungles you're cheering for animal rights from. Think I'll go home and kick my dog! :) Please don't assume things, and I'll try not to do the same.
    This isn't something that's just for my "FI"... it's a thing that's enjoyed by both of us, plus family and friends. And my family hasn't said it's silly, I just know my dad is a homebody and it's hard to get him to leave home for anything, let alone an extended event with lots of people. 
    Some of you more open minded people (country or not) made some good thoughts and suggestions, although I must say my favorite post was from RebeccaB88. To all of you, THANK YOU for being considerate and examining the situation pros/cons!!
     I guess I am a bit ignorant myself in the fact that I wasn't viewing a reception as a thank you to guests. I've always gone to receptions as a chance to congratulate the new couple and celebrate their new life, not expecting anything for me. I go to show support and love for them so to me, a reception is a celebration for the newlyweds. If it wasn't about us at all then why plaster our pictures and decorations everywhere to our liking and hosting it at a location we're fond of, serving our favorite food? The thank you notes are for thank yous. I'm ok with people only opting to go to just the reception, and even more ok with people not attending the roping to spectate, but I agree it's a bummer that the agenda would make some people have to choose and/or devote a morning & evening to us, which is in fact more of the source of my conflict, along with trying to make so much happen in one day.  But just to clarify, I'm not real particular on what people wear to the wedding/reception (I could really care less. I'm more interested in people being comfortable. Shorts and flip flops, totally acceptable for audience members. If you wanna dress up, awesome. If not, no judgement here...). But again, thank you to everyone who gave open suggestions, even if you don't agree with the plan. That's what I was looking for. 

    No need to be kicking your dog!  Look OP, many posters said that including the roping would be fine but it should not be placed in the center or your day.  If you want to have it, then by all means, but do not have a such a large gap (or any gap for that matter) between your ceremony and reception.

    And yes, a reception is a thank you to your guests.  When you plan a reception you not only have to consider what you like but what your guests would like as well.  For food you pick what you like to eat but you also have to be mindful that you pick something that your guests would like too.  An example would be that you may love escargot but that doesn't mean that you should pick that as your main course because that is not widely liked by many people (at least in this country).  You need to host your guests properly and make them feel welcomed and comfortable.  Have your ceremony and reception and then have your roping event.  That way for your guests who want to enjoy the roping festivites they can but for those that don't they aren't left waiting around for hours until your reception finally starts.

    And I am not sure, but I think another poster said to have the roping event the day before, so that those who want to participate or watch can without it taking away from your wedding day.

    You also need to consider the drive time.  That is a lot of driving for guests to do.

    Finally, usually get more honest advice/opinions from strangers then you would from family members because we aren't afraid to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth.  Your family, however, may just go along with anything to spare your feelings.


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    AllieBear725AllieBear725 member
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    edited June 2013
    Slow down. Let me interject. I am from Texas. Born and raised. Love me some rodeo time. Also love everything about the south. HOWEVER, I still think your idea is rude to your guests. Pick one city or the other. Have both the ceremony and reception there, one after the other, and do the rodeo after. ETA: Spelling.
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    MuppetFanMuppetFan member
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    Wait, you posted your ideas and said "Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Let me have em...! "

    We told you what we thought about your plan and we told you what's rude because it is and we don't want you to be a rude host. All of us have been in a position where we thought that since we believe we are reasonable people, our ideas are reasonable and perhaps feel defensive when 50 people tell us otherwise. From that point, you can make the decision to be emotional and walk away thinking we're terrible, or think about how you're the only one that thinks it's a good idea and understand that you might be the only one at your wedding who thinks that as well.

    I don't think it has anything to do with understanding the culture or being ignorant. I think this is best exemplified by the fact that you said people in your area DON'T do this for weddings and it's typically seen at birthday parties.

    I'm pretty sure that no one attacked the "country" idea. I'm pretty sure I listed like 5 photos to show how you can have a country wedding that is reflective of you but leaves the rodeo for the bachelor party or for after the reception.

    I think you'll find that if you calm down and talk to us, we can help you work out something that is beautiful, polite, and doesn't resemble a birthday party.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    skennygirl18skennygirl18 member
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    Sorry if I came off as peeved at everyone... not the case at all. Again, there were several great suggestions with alternate ideas (like having the roping the day before) that I like and agree with. I just get frustrated with people who feel the need to be honest but don't feel the need to be a bit sensitive as well or understanding perhaps. I'm open to suggestions for different ideas, just can do without all the ignorant bashing, I wouldn't do that to someone, friend or stranger. And kicking the dog was a haha just to clarify :) But yes, the post was placed to get insight on the overall idea as well as how to best manage it. Think I'll try and get a rehearsal dinner event worked out instead or bachelor/bachelorette party would be fun too. 
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    MoonlightSilverMoonlightSilver member
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    @skennygirl18, can you tell me why you can't have the reception at your dad's farm right after the ceremony? Doing that in the morning, and then having the roping as a separate event in the afternoon that's optional would be best if you have to do them all the same day.
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    lisabeatslisabeats member
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    edited June 2013
    skennygirl18 said:
    Here is the problem with The Knot...I don't feel support for the "country" people at all, and there are soooo many people on here that aren't part of that lifestyle or any where close to it AND are extremely ignorant. Thanks for the input, but no thanks. Don't post replies to something you don't have a clue about or anything constructive to say, all whilst telling me I'm rude for my idea. Wow! I apologize that my family is part of a lifestyle a little grittier than yours, but hey enjoy those mass concrete jungles you're cheering for animal rights from. Think I'll go home and kick my dog! :) Please don't assume things, and I'll try not to do the same.
    This isn't something that's just for my "FI"... it's a thing that's enjoyed by both of us, plus family and friends. And my family hasn't said it's silly, I just know my dad is a homebody and it's hard to get him to leave home for anything, let alone an extended event with lots of people. 
    Some of you more open minded people (country or not) made some good thoughts and suggestions, although I must say my favorite post was from RebeccaB88. To all of you, THANK YOU for being considerate and examining the situation pros/cons!!
     I guess I am a bit ignorant myself in the fact that I wasn't viewing a reception as a thank you to guests. I've always gone to receptions as a chance to congratulate the new couple and celebrate their new life, not expecting anything for me. I go to show support and love for them so to me, a reception is a celebration for the newlyweds. If it wasn't about us at all then why plaster our pictures and decorations everywhere to our liking and hosting it at a location we're fond of, serving our favorite food? The thank you notes are for thank yous. I'm ok with people only opting to go to just the reception, and even more ok with people not attending the roping to spectate, but I agree it's a bummer that the agenda would make some people have to choose and/or devote a morning & evening to us, which is in fact more of the source of my conflict, along with trying to make so much happen in one day.  But just to clarify, I'm not real particular on what people wear to the wedding/reception (I could really care less. I'm more interested in people being comfortable. Shorts and flip flops, totally acceptable for audience members. If you wanna dress up, awesome. If not, no judgement here...). But again, thank you to everyone who gave open suggestions, even if you don't agree with the plan. That's what I was looking for. 
    image
    Gif fail : http://lmgtfy.com/?q=I+heart+irony+gif
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    skennygirl18 said:
    Sorry if I came off as peeved at everyone... not the case at all. Again, there were several great suggestions with alternate ideas (like having the roping the day before) that I like and agree with. I just get frustrated with people who feel the need to be honest but don't feel the need to be a bit sensitive as well or understanding perhaps. I'm open to suggestions for different ideas, just can do without all the ignorant bashing, I wouldn't do that to someone, friend or stranger. And kicking the dog was a haha just to clarify :)But yes, the post was placed to get insight on the overall idea as well as how to best manage it. Think I'll try and get a rehearsal dinner event worked out instead or bachelor/bachelorette party would be fun too. 

    Yup, I got that :)

    Also, there are many different women who post on these boards.  Not all will sugar coat things to make them go down easier.  Many are blunt in their honesty.  No one was trying to be openly hostile in anyway.  I myself tend to be blunt.  If you ask me if having a clown at your wedding would be a good idea, my response would be "Fuck no, that is ridiculous."  Not very sugar coated but it sure gets the point across.

    We really all just want to help you have the best wedding you can without being rude to your guests.  Promise.


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