Rude things grown men say

rel1988 · June 2013

cmgilpin said:

StageManager14 said:

cmgilpin said:

If OP had posted her first paragraph, and not the "omg, and I didn't even WEAR makeup!!" I would have limited my response to my first sentence. But, she didn't.

The guys are assholes. No doubt about that. And, she should respond to them and tell them they are being offensive, or she should choose to let it roll off her back.

But, instead, she chooses to respond with the fact that "she already found one" and shows them her engagement ring and can't BELIEVE they are talking to her this way, because she didn't wear makeup.

First of all, even if she HADN'T "already found one", those comments are inappropriate. Instead of responding with something like "wow, that's really offensive", she seems to justify the guy's asshole statement by showing him her ring and telling him she already found one and then talks about her makeup? Yeah, um. no.

If I wasn't already gay married, and you weren't already straight married, and, if I liked girly girls, and if you liked chubby girly girls instead of men, I'd consider it!

That sounds close enought to a yes for me!

Ajuliana · June 2013

I did not in any way mean to insult those women who wear makeup to work, and I'm still a bit baffled that it took that turn. As far as showing my ring, it's definitrly an awkward way to respond, but the only one I could think of.

Older men=60+.

I appreciate the comments and think after reading everything, that the best response is no response to unwelcome comments. And as always, I will try to use misunderstandings from my posts to write clearer next time.

LiLe422 · June 2013

rel1988 said:

cmgilpin said:

StageManager14 said:

cmgilpin said:

If OP had posted her first paragraph, and not the "omg, and I didn't even WEAR makeup!!" I would have limited my response to my first sentence. But, she didn't.

The guys are assholes. No doubt about that. And, she should respond to them and tell them they are being offensive, or she should choose to let it roll off her back.

But, instead, she chooses to respond with the fact that "she already found one" and shows them her engagement ring and can't BELIEVE they are talking to her this way, because she didn't wear makeup.

First of all, even if she HADN'T "already found one", those comments are inappropriate. Instead of responding with something like "wow, that's really offensive", she seems to justify the guy's asshole statement by showing him her ring and telling him she already found one and then talks about her makeup? Yeah, um. no.

If I wasn't already gay married, and you weren't already straight married, and, if I liked girly girls, and if you liked chubby girly girls instead of men, I'd consider it!

That sounds close enought to a yes for me!

Absofuckinglutely.

Can I be the flower girl?

LiLe422 · June 2013

Alaynajuliana said:

I did not in any way mean to insult those women who wear makeup to work, and I'm still a bit baffled that it took that turn. As far as showing my ring, it's definitrly an awkward way to respond, but the only one I could think of. Older men=60+. I appreciate the comments and think after reading everything, that the best response is no response to unwelcome comments. And as always, I will try to use misunderstandings from my posts to write clearer next time.

Yeah okay, that'll get you real far around these parts.

QueerFemme · June 2013

LiLe422 said:

rel1988 said:

cmgilpin said:

StageManager14 said:

cmgilpin said:

If OP had posted her first paragraph, and not the "omg, and I didn't even WEAR makeup!!" I would have limited my response to my first sentence. But, she didn't.

The guys are assholes. No doubt about that. And, she should respond to them and tell them they are being offensive, or she should choose to let it roll off her back.

But, instead, she chooses to respond with the fact that "she already found one" and shows them her engagement ring and can't BELIEVE they are talking to her this way, because she didn't wear makeup.

First of all, even if she HADN'T "already found one", those comments are inappropriate. Instead of responding with something like "wow, that's really offensive", she seems to justify the guy's asshole statement by showing him her ring and telling him she already found one and then talks about her makeup? Yeah, um. no.

If I wasn't already gay married, and you weren't already straight married, and, if I liked girly girls, and if you liked chubby girly girls instead of men, I'd consider it!

That sounds close enought to a yes for me!

Absofuckinglutely.

Can I be the flower girl?

Totally, but only if you double as my personal attendant.

QueerFemme · June 2013

ynajuliana said:

I did not in any way mean to insult those women who wear makeup to work, and I'm still a bit baffled that it took that turn. As far as showing my ring, it's definitrly an awkward way to respond, but the only one I could think of. Older men=60+. I appreciate the comments and think after reading everything, that the best response is no response to unwelcome comments. And as always, I will try to use misunderstandings from my posts to write clearer next time.

Why can't you respond with "wow, that's really offensive"? I get that it's a customer, but customers don't have the right to shit on you.

LiLe422 · June 2013

cmgilpin said:

LiLe422 said:

rel1988 said:

cmgilpin said:

StageManager14 said:

cmgilpin said:

If OP had posted her first paragraph, and not the "omg, and I didn't even WEAR makeup!!" I would have limited my response to my first sentence. But, she didn't.

The guys are assholes. No doubt about that. And, she should respond to them and tell them they are being offensive, or she should choose to let it roll off her back.

But, instead, she chooses to respond with the fact that "she already found one" and shows them her engagement ring and can't BELIEVE they are talking to her this way, because she didn't wear makeup.

First of all, even if she HADN'T "already found one", those comments are inappropriate. Instead of responding with something like "wow, that's really offensive", she seems to justify the guy's asshole statement by showing him her ring and telling him she already found one and then talks about her makeup? Yeah, um. no.

If I wasn't already gay married, and you weren't already straight married, and, if I liked girly girls, and if you liked chubby girly girls instead of men, I'd consider it!

That sounds close enought to a yes for me!

Absofuckinglutely.

Can I be the flower girl?

Totally, but only if you double as my personal attendant.

Okay, but I'll only do it if I can have a personal attendant too. Chain of command, DUH!!!!!

Ajuliana · June 2013

@lile422 You misread. I meant no response to the comments from my customers. I have obviously been responding to comments here.

AddieCake · June 2013

LiLe422 said:

Alaynajuliana said:

I did not in any way mean to insult those women who wear makeup to work, and I'm still a bit baffled that it took that turn. As far as showing my ring, it's definitrly an awkward way to respond, but the only one I could think of. Older men=60+. I appreciate the comments and think after reading everything, that the best response is no response to unwelcome comments. And as always, I will try to use misunderstandings from my posts to write clearer next time.

Yeah okay, that'll get you real far around these parts.

I believe she meant to the customers, LiLe, not to us.

OP, I agree with CMGilpin. If the comments offend you, you should say so directly to the people saying them.

LiLe422 · June 2013

Alaynajuliana said:

@lile422 You misread. I meant no response to the comments from my customers. I have obviously been responding to comments here.

My bad. Reading fail. I thought you meant not responding to unwelcome comments here.

rel1988 · June 2013

RING BEARER?!?!

easilyunamused · June 2013

I live in a condo that primarly is used for week to week rental units (for vacation). I was coming out of the laundry room with my bed sheet and an older couple (60s?) was walking past me. The older man looked at me, smiled and said "A woman's work is never done" and I looked at him and said "especially if you want it done right!"

AddieCake · June 2013

I will gladly cut the cake. I can be trusted. I promise.

Peledreamsofrain · June 2013

Post removed due to GBCK

LAM524 · June 2013

Alaynajuliana said:

Never mind. That's what you're going to pick up on? Roughly, that I don't get all dolled up and look like I'm looking for a sugar daddy.

Im almost afraid to dip back in here!

Thanks for the clarification. I was genuinely confused. I was unclear if you were saying they comment on you not wearing makeup and thats what you were going to give them an earful about (if they comment on your lack of makeup again.)

Must admit that your clarification is also a bit confusing to me but hey...my lack of sleep, brain fart or intellectual pause matters none.

I would like to say that we all deal with peoples inappropriate behavior throughout our lives. There is a line and we have to define that line for ourselves. Thick or thin lines, when they are passed then the sucky part is up to us to decide what to do about it. It's not always easy.

One of my favorite things to say is "and your telling me that because?" Most of the time I watch them choke while trying to figure out what to say next.

One "guy" approached after I was engaged and said, "so you accepted his proposal, I would have been the better choice" I said, "your telling me this because?" After he searched for his response, he said, " I'm just saying, Im the better choice!" My response, " You're just saying? I didnt know you were a liar!" I waited a second and walked away. For me...priceless!

Pepper6 · June 2013

I'm so glad I don't work in customer service anymore! My first job at 16 was as a cashier and it was ridiculous the types of things people say, both men and women. Good thing I was a bitchy teen and had a full repertoire of sarcastic remarks that always made them feel like an idiot.

Dreamergirl8812 · June 2013

Alaynajuliana said:

I feel like at least once a week, an older man will make some comment about how not to worry, I'm pretty and I'll be able to find a wealthy man to take care of me. Um, do you not see my ring? Do I look underfed? Do I look like a gold digger or are you just recommending the lifestyle to me?

Today, I was being very smiley and upbeat (I'm in customer service/sales), and a man asked if I was so happy because "the company owner's son is looking for a wife." I just jaw dropped at him. He then said I'd be able to meet a nice man to take care of me, and I just told him I had already found one and showed him my engagement ring.

I don't even wear makeup at work, and the next person to say that to me might get an earful.

OP, I didn't read this the way a lot of others did. It seems to me that you're complaining that you're being treated like a weak, financially helpless woman who is desperate for a man. I don't think an old man saying "Don't worry, you're pretty" is a compliment at all so I don't think you were bragging. I also see what you meant about not wearing makeup to work; you're not trying to impress anyone (I wear makeup to work).

I definitely agree with others about showing the ring. Just say "I don't need a man to take care of me." That's it.

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