Bride shames Guest for giving picnic basket of food-items

Djinxs · June 2013

lyndausvi said:

I have no words.

On another note back in the day I use to give a basket filled with all the makings for chocolate chip cookies. I put in chips, flour, sugar, vanilla, brown sugar, cookie sheet, spatula, spoons, mixing bowls, measuring cups and spoons, pot holders and personalized milk glasses. I happy to say it was always a hit and no one called me out on the gift.

Yeah, this might be like... the best gift ever.

CharlieKay10 · June 2013

This is appalling. However, I do think that the guy who attended the wedding was a douche when he commented on their same-sex marriage. Kind of a dick-move.

As an aside, I attended a wedding about a year and a half ago. The bride and I were once-close, now-distant friends. At the bridal shower, the bride randomly came up to me and started talking about my Facebook check-ins at "the hip and trendy" restaurants downtown as of late, saying that she wanted to venture out and try something new. So, for the couple's wedding gift, I decided to get them four "date-night" gift cards: two to the restaurants she had, at the shower, specifically mentioned wanting to try; one to a restaurant that had just opened (and was getting rave reviews); and one to an awesome restaurant/arcade place. Each of the gift cards was for $50. A few weeks after the wedding, I heard from a mutual friend of ours that the bride was, quote: "Not sending Charlie (me) a thank you card for her rude gift." I guess my gift was rude because the gift cards would not cover the entire meal at the restaurants...(side note: at two of the restaurants, it would definitely cover two meals and drinks). She also thought it was presumptuous that I got her a gift to restaurants she did not even know that she liked.

Jen4948 · June 2013

That would have been a lovely gift. Shame on those brides for throwing it back in her face.

southernbelle0915 · June 2013

lyndausvi said:

I have no words.

On another note back in the day I use to give a basket filled with all the makings for chocolate chip cookies. I put in chips, flour, sugar, vanilla, brown sugar, cookie sheet, spatula, spoons, mixing bowls, measuring cups and spoons, pot holders and personalized milk glasses. I happy to say it was always a hit and no one called me out on the gift.

Hey lynda.... don't you know that weddings are supposed to raise funds for the future? How the fuck am I supposed to raise funds with that crappy present? A BAKE SALE???

annathy03 · June 2013

lyndausvi said:

I have no words.

On another note back in the day I use to give a basket filled with all the makings for chocolate chip cookies. I put in chips, flour, sugar, vanilla, brown sugar, cookie sheet, spatula, spoons, mixing bowls, measuring cups and spoons, pot holders and personalized milk glasses. I happy to say it was always a hit and no one called me out on the gift.

And now I want cookies. Damnit.

I wonder if this bride was featured on that bridezilla show where the girls are so rude it somehow gets them on television (and they somehow don't find that mortifying!). One of my friends received a laundry basket with a bunch of house stuff (dish soap, laundry soap, favorite shampoos, bath bombs, etc) and she loved it- thoughtful and useful. I mean, it wasn't as awesome as COOKIES, but still good. Mmmm... cookies.

ETA: I can't type today.

Gisellerina · June 2013

I do think the brides were extremely rude in their response to this gift. But, I do also think food in general is a really bad gift idea unless you know the food item is something the giftee will actually enjoy. With so many people having allergies, diabetes, gluten restrictions, celiacs (is that the same thing as no gluten?), doctor-ordered diets, etc., it seems like a horrible idea to give food. (But, I could be overly-opinionated on this as I have a myriad of food allergies and sensitivities. It only takes a tiny bit of chocolate for me to break out in hives and a migraine.)

gmcr78 · June 2013

coopergirl15 said:

@ CharlieKay10, I would have criticized the guy for the gay marriage comment also, had he not owned up to the fact that it was a dick move and acknowledged he shouldn't have said it. And wow on the ungrateful former friend you got that gift of restaurant gift cards for. Traditionally gift cards ARE considered rude (same reasoning as giving cash is rude), but given the circumstances I think it was a very thoughtful gift. Plus, who spends more than $50 on a dinner out on someone else's dime? She should have at least been happy for the amount toward the bill and the chance to broaden her culinary horizons.

What? How is this rude?

SummerGrl15 · June 2013

There was another article about this, and there was a poll about who the readers thought was right in this situation. I was totally shocked to see that something like 30% of people thought the bride was right for confronting the guest on the gift. Horrible.

Talk about a bridezilla....

vineheart137 · June 2013

lyndausvi said:

I have no words.

On another note back in the day I use to give a basket filled with all the makings for chocolate chip cookies. I put in chips, flour, sugar, vanilla, brown sugar, cookie sheet, spatula, spoons, mixing bowls, measuring cups and spoons, pot holders and personalized milk glasses. I happy to say it was always a hit and no one called me out on the gift.

Oh hey, anyone have a spare Delorean or Tardis so I can go back in time and invite lynda to my wedding??

AJuliaNJ · June 2013

I wouldn't like this gift, but would never let that on to the gift giver. I'd act thrilled and send a thank you note. I get gifts I don't want or can't use at almost every gift-giving situation. That's just life.

I get that the one bride is gluten intolerant. She still shouldn't have said anything. I'm vegetarian. If someone bought me an expensive Omaha Steak basket, I would just thank them and not elaborate on it. If the guest specifically asked later on if she enjoyed the pasta and stuff, she could be honest and polite: "I couldn't eat it myself but I served it to my guests and they LOVED it." Otherwise, no reason to even bring it up in relation to the gift.

aurianna · June 2013

Wow. The comments on this make me sad. Even the ones that overall agree with the guy but still call his present cheap.
A hinged wicker picnic basket ain't gonna be cheap. A lot of the gourmet food in it ain't gonna be cheap.
Assuming it is in fact well made and the food was good quality (he's in the restaurant business so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt), this isn't even a cheap gift. Maybe not to everyone's taste, but possibly not cheap.

What's with this mindset. My wedding was more per plate than these gals'. Of 100 or so guests, a very small percentage "covered their plate" but honestly I couldn't tell you exactly how many or who because I don't care and I never expected anyone to.

We had a fancy wedding because we wanted one for ourselves and for our guests and we invited the people we wanted to come; not the people who we thought could afford expensive presents.

I don't get people who want to make money on their wedding. But what I don't get even more than that is how anyone would expect to do that by having an expensive wedding.

How dumb are these girls? People don't magically have more gift money if you decide to have an expensive wedding. If you really want a better shot at guests being able to cover their plates, have a cheaper wedding (again, I think it's a horrid idea... but I can't get over how not only is it a horrid idea, but it was a horribly executed horrible idea).

I hate people.

aurianna · June 2013

NYCBruin · June 2013

aurianna said:

Wow. The comments on this make me sad. Even the ones that overall agree with the guy but still call his present cheap.
A hinged wicker picnic basket ain't gonna be cheap. A lot of the gourmet food in it ain't gonna be cheap.
Assuming it is in fact well made and the food was good quality (he's in the restaurant business so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt), this isn't even a cheap gift. Maybe not to everyone's taste, but possibly not cheap.

What's with this mindset. My wedding was more per plate than these gals'. Of 100 or so guests, a very small percentage "covered their plate" but honestly I couldn't tell you exactly how many or who because I don't care and I never expected anyone to.

We had a fancy wedding because we wanted one for ourselves and for our guests and we invited the people we wanted to come; not the people who we thought could afford expensive presents.

I don't get people who want to make money on their wedding. But what I don't get even more than that is how anyone would expect to do that by having an expensive wedding.

How dumb are these girls? People don't magically have more gift money if you decide to have an expensive wedding. If you really want a better shot at guests being able to cover their plates, have a cheaper wedding (again, I think it's a horrid idea... but I can't get over how not only is it a horrid idea, but it was a horribly executed horrible idea).

I hate people.

So much of this to the bolded. This is my biggest (of many) complaints with the "cover your plate" mindset. The couple is the one who has the ultimate decision in how much each "plate" costs at their wedding. It's completely ridiculous to think that you can or should push the cost of your decision onto your guests.

We are also spending significantly more per person than the brides in this article and that's because we want to have a fancy wedding. It would break my heart if some guests declined because they thought they had to "cover their plate" but couldn't afford to.

winelover123 · June 2013

I would loooove this gift, even though I have serious food allergies and would probably die from more than one item in the basket. But my FI would enjoy the food and I'd enjoy the basket!

RamonaFlowers · June 2013

I wouldn't have liked the gift, but their attitude about it totally sucks. You smile and say thank you when you get a gift from someone. End of discussion.

However, the guy should have just been an adult and dropped it after first text exchange, because there is no reaching some people. Taking the same sex marriage remark out if the equation, he's still an epic douche for dragging this out on to Facebook and THEN posting it all over the Internet to be validated.

They didn't like your picnic basket. I'm pretty sure the friendship is over and you're not getting a glowing thank you note now. Sack up and move the eff on with your life,

melissanjoe21 · June 2013

I think both parties are real tools. The gift giver is an asshat as well.

southernbelle0915 · June 2013

RamonaFlowers said:

I wouldn't have liked the gift, but their attitude about it totally sucks. You smile and say thank you when you get a gift from someone. End of discussion. However, the guy should have just been an adult and dropped it after first text exchange, because there is no reaching some people. Taking the same sex marriage remark out if the equation, he's still an epic douche for dragging this out on to Facebook and THEN posting it all over the Internet to be validated. They didn't like your picnic basket. I'm pretty sure the friendship is over and you're not getting a glowing thank you note now. Sack up and move the eff on with your life,

Normally, I'm all about letting bygones be bygones but I'm glad this guy brought this to the forefront to make proper and gracious wedding etiquette part of the conversation. I think any bride who read this and had the "cover your plate" mentality will think twice. And I'm really happy about that.

kmmssg · June 2013

coopergirl15 said:

@ CharlieKay10, I would have criticized the guy for the gay marriage comment also, had he not owned up to the fact that it was a dick move and acknowledged he shouldn't have said it. And wow on the ungrateful former friend you got that gift of restaurant gift cards for. Traditionally gift cards ARE considered rude (same reasoning as giving cash is rude), but given the circumstances I think it was a very thoughtful gift. Plus, who spends more than $50 on a dinner out on someone else's dime? She should have at least been happy for the amount toward the bill and the chance to broaden her culinary horizons.

When did giving cash or gift cards become rude?

NerdyLucy · June 2013

AJuliaNJ said:

I wouldn't like this gift, but would never let that on to the gift giver. I'd act thrilled and send a thank you note. I get gifts I don't want or can't use at almost every gift-giving situation. That's just life.

I get that the one bride is gluten intolerant. She still shouldn't have said anything. I'm vegetarian. If someone bought me an expensive Omaha Steak basket, I would just thank them and not elaborate on it. If the guest specifically asked later on if she enjoyed the pasta and stuff, she could be honest and polite: "I couldn't eat it myself but I served it to my guests and they LOVED it." Otherwise, no reason to even bring it up in relation to the gift.

Yes, THIS.

lyndsay782 · June 2013

kmmssg

I'm wondering when cash and gift cards became rude. I know you can't ask for it, but I wouldn't consider it rude. I'd be like, YAY! MORE DISNEYLAND MONEY!

Simply Fated · June 2013

Weddings are to make money for your future

WTF?

You ate steak, chicken, booze, and a beautiful venue.
I'm sure the venue tasted delicious.

Your an idiot.
Irony?

ashleyep · June 2013

lyndsay782 said:

kmmssg

I'm wondering when cash and gift cards became rude. I know you can't ask for it, but I wouldn't consider it rude. I'd be like, YAY! MORE DISNEYLAND MONEY!

In certain cultures it's that way. My dad's family is very WASP-y and my mom said when they got married, she only got gifts from the side of the family. They don't do cash. @coopergirl15 explained it pretty well.

Dreamergirl8812 · June 2013

kerbohl said:

One of the brides is on my radio station right now. I'm listening to her trying to defend herself. She says that the text she sent was rude, but she was insulted by the "thoughtlessness" of the gift. Interesting defense . . .

I can't believe anyone would publicly defend this. Shut up and pray it disappears.

This reminds me of the Chef Tom douche from the Food and Cake thread. 2 years ago someone posted that he was a cuntbucket. A little while back he responds to her post, calling her a bunch of names (including fat). Now he has an army of knotties against him.

Shut up and pray it disappears.

Kate61487 · June 2013

wow; and I thought the snippet in the OP was bad; the full exchange was awful. Especially considering they worked in the food industry together I thought the gift basket was pretty cute. (though I would have wanted it to be a little more cohesive as a gift giver; it sounded like most of it fit in an Italian theme, but the fluff and sourpatch were random...)

Belle2188 · June 2013

Wowie. Those brides are so out of line! Although, I must agree with those that pointed out that the guest is a bit of a douche as well...

OliveOilsMom · June 2013

Ugh, the local news just mentioned this letter and the female host said you have to cover your plate and the guy said the gift was cheap. They didn't even mention that the most of the food in the basket was high end. They also said this took place in Europe. I really hate how the news just tries to rile up people instead of reporting the actual situation.

TKzilla · June 2013

We got two picnic baskets with local foods from one of our college professors at our wedding. We haven't eaten anything yet but DH and the dog are both very interested in the local-made peanut butter. There are also a lot of peanuts in there, which I don't care to eat. Know what we said? "Oh wow! Thank you so much!" and sent a thank you card.

My very wealthy uncle and his very wealthy partner came to the wedding and brought no gift, no card, no nothing. Know what we said "Oh wow! Thanks for coming!" That was it.

It doesn't matter who the guest is, what they have financially, etc. A gift is not required and should not be expected.

jarednmegan · June 2013

I don't care if the gift was a roll of toilet paper...you just don't respond like that to a gift, regardless of how lame it is.

colleenhas · June 2013

I think it was a wonderful gift. I gave a couple, (this was both second marriages and both had full houses of stuff) a picnic basket with a blanket, a good bottle of wine, a restaurant gift card, napkins, plates and cups. They loved it and said it was one of their favorites because it was so them.

Amsdragonfly · June 2013

I'm horrified to think people think they are justified in saying horrible things like that to a guest that gave them a gift at their wedding, NO MATTER what the gift was. This is a sad sad article, and if those brides are not embarrassed and ashamed for their behavior, they truly should be. I think that would be a pretty awesome gift- it's like he gave them dinner and dessert!

Bride shames Guest for giving picnic basket of food-items

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