Cash/open bars & not bringing cash to a wedding

wiki8 · July 2013

I was just reading the extremely entertaining threads about cash bars, and I know I see posts on here say again and again that if it were a cash bar they wouldn't have any money to pay for a drink. I am a little confused by this, because even at an open bar I always make sure to have cash to tip the bartender. I know he will likely get a cut of the gratuity from the venue, but I would always give at least a dollar or so for every drink I ordered. Do you all not tip at weddings?

Kate61487 · July 2013

ditto Lia. Sometimes I still do if it's busy and I want faster service, but the host pays the tip on the bar.

manateehugger · July 2013

Yeah, I never tip at a wedding unless there is a situation like Kate described.

Tip jars should NEVER be set out.

AllyIdo · July 2013

My pet peeve - when you are hosting an event, for work or personally, and they put the tip bucket out there. As the host I am paying for the drinks and tips (which is typically built in). Don't try to double dip on my guests! If you go above and beyond, I will tip you on top of the built in gratuity, not my guests.

I was working an event for work and I politely asked the bartender to take the tip jar away, explaining that he would be taken care of. He did, and about an hour later he had put it back! I was so pissed! And did not tip on top of the auto-gratuity in that case!

In any case, if the bartender goes above and beyond, I would tip him, but I don't feel obligated to.

KJiras · July 2013

Even though as a Bride I'll make sure the bartender/staff are tipped, as a guest I've always tipped the bartender at weddings. That said, what I've brought to tip on a few drinks over the course of a night may not be enough to pay full price for cocktails all night if I wasn't aware it was a cash bar. So I can see why there could be some concern.

southernbelle0915 · July 2013

I usually bring cash in case I want to tip to get faster/stronger drinks. Otherwise, I let the hosts tip.

wiki8 · July 2013

I think my reasoning is subconsciously "find the good bartender and tip so they take care of me all night" haha. I guess I've never really thought about it before. I know that the hosts tip, but I've always tipped also. Maybe it's also from working in food/liquor service industries in the past.

tammym1001 · July 2013

I always tip the bartender at a wedding even if there is no jar out (I hate when there is one though). I always have cash on me no matter where I go so it isn't an issue of not having cash on me that makes me think a cash bar would be rude. I have never been to a wedding that didn't have a fully hosted bar.

STARMOON44 · July 2013

I never tip at weddings and often have no cash- although if I've heard through the grapevine that it might be a cash bar I guess I'd bring it. I have never attended a wedding with a cash bar.

Jen4948 · July 2013

It's up to the hosts to tip, as they're the ones paying for the wedding. It should never be up to the guests to pay, let alone tip.

TheBaysideBride · July 2013

and beyond tipping the bartender, who leaves the house w/o cash!? I was at a wedding last weekend and had to buy my sister drinks at the after party bc she "left her wallet at the hotel." i was like, WTF woman, you're 35 years old, and will also need cab money!

STARMOON44 · July 2013

People who are going to hosted events who are planning to go home after and have very small evening bags?

harper0813 · July 2013

It's the hosts' job to tip, but I always tip at a wedding UNLESS there's a tip jar out. Tip jars are a peeve of mine at a hosted event.

I'll put down between $5 and $20 depending on how good the service is and how complicated the drink is.

ashleyep · July 2013

TheBaysideBride said:

and beyond tipping the bartender, who leaves the house w/o cash!? I was at a wedding last weekend and had to buy my sister drinks at the after party bc she "left her wallet at the hotel." i was like, WTF woman, you're 35 years old, and will also need cab money!

I very rarely have cash on me and I can pay for a cab with a card in my area. That being said I always bring cash to a wedding because cash bars are very common in my area.

manateehugger · July 2013

Yeah, I rarely have cash too. Bars, cabs, etc. all take cards.

TheBaysideBride · July 2013

Haha OK i sound like an old lady. But I always have a $20 tucked some place, and more if I'm going out. You can't duke a bouncer w/ a credit card, or buy late night snacks from a food truck, etc. And in NYC the credit card machines in cabs break all the time. I'm a planner

KDM323 · July 2013

I usually take money out of my fiance's wallet and leave one tip (nice) at the beginning of the evening/reception for the bartender. (Like a $20)

I never have cash on me - usually just a credit/debit card.

manateehugger · July 2013

Oh man, that sucks. Food trucks in Denver and STL always take cards.

Peaseblossom55 · July 2013

I always have some form of cash on me. Even at an open bar, FI & I will tip a dollar to the bartender even if there is no tip jar out. It's just a courtesey to the bartender.

Kate61487 · July 2013

TheBaysideBride said:

and beyond tipping the bartender, who leaves the house w/o cash!? I was at a wedding last weekend and had to buy my sister drinks at the after party bc she "left her wallet at the hotel." i was like, WTF woman, you're 35 years old, and will also need cab money!

I also almost exclusively use plastic; sometimes I'll have cash sometimes I won't. I do have an emergency $100 tucked into my bag but that's for a real emergency, not shitty hosting, so I would consider myself without cash when presented with a cash bar.

Jen4948 · July 2013

Peaseblossom55 said:

I always have some form of cash on me. Even at an open bar, FI & I will tip a dollar to the bartender even if there is no tip jar out. It's just a courtesey to the bartender.

Bartenders have no business putting out tip jars or expecting wedding guests to tip. The hosts need to negotiate gratuities for the bartenders in their contracts-not expect the guests to pay for anything. That includes tips.

radleyboo · July 2013

I never carry cash. It's rarely a problem for me.

annathy03 · July 2013

If the couple is hosting an open bar that has a flat cost per head, the contracted bartender tips are completely unaffected by the quality service they provide, so I've always tipped modestly (around $1/drink) at weddings to encourage quick service or a heavy pour, regardless if there is a tip jar or not. I think I may stop doing that when there is a tip jar out, as I prefer there not be, and I think it reflects on the venue more than the couple, as they are paying a gratuity already.

crunchymamaof2 · July 2013

Never been to a wedding with a cash bar- can you not pay with a card if there is one?

manateehugger · July 2013

Usually you have to pay in cash (they don't want to pay credit/debit cards fees for the most part I think).

I've been to a wedding where the bartenders directed you toward an ATM in the lobby if you didn't have cash on you.

Pepper6 · July 2013

I rarely carry cash in normal circumstances. However, it seems I'm the odd man out as I've only attended one wedding that was a full host bar since cash bars are by far the norm in my circle, so I always stop to get cash if I'm going to a wedding. Although, depending on the venue, some take credit.

Simply Fated · July 2013

I'll tip the bartender to get good service. Unless there is a tip jar. I won't tip if there is a tip jar.

There is a difference between tipping and paying for all the drinks I would consume PLUS the tips, KWIM? And if I leave the house with cash at all, it's MAYBE $20. That's great for a tip, but depending on the cost of the drinks, it sucks.

NOLAbridealmost · July 2013

If you're paying for a hosted bar, I can guarantee that there's a gratuity included. Any extra tip jars are just essentially guilt jars for the guests. If I happen to have cash on hand, I'll give a $5 or $10 to encourage faster service, etc. for the whole night. If I don't have cash, i just order drinks as I normally would and assume the couple is tipping....as they should. Ad fwiw, I am a very, very generous tipper normally and I was a waitress for years.

wiki8 · July 2013

I also almost exclusively use my debit card for day to day things, but always make it a point to stop for cash when going to a wedding. Either for tips, or to pay for drinks. Cash bars or one hour hosted cocktail hours are pretty common with people I know. But I've already established many times that the people I know are not strong when it comes to etiquette.

The most awkward was FI's cousin, who had an open bar until a certain point. So when they sold a specific amount of drinks, they turned over to cash. I left my purse at the table and walked over with literally $2. FI's uncle ended up covering my drink because he was ordering at the same time, and didn't want me to awkwardly walk back to the table to grab more cash.

NOLAbridealmost · July 2013

StageManager14 said:

If you're paying for a hosted bar, I can guarantee that there's a gratuity included. Any extra tip jars are just essentially guilt jars for the guests. If I happen to have cash on hand, I'll give a $5 or $10 to encourage faster service, etc. for the whole night. If I don't have cash, i just order drinks as I normally would and assume the couple is tipping....as they should. Ad fwiw, I am a very, very generous tipper normally and I was a waitress for years.
No, you can't actually. None of the three companies we use for fundraisers and galas include gratuity in the bar package. But we always tip very well as the hosts.

Okay. Fine. I can guarantee either gratuities were included or the hosts paid gratuity. Otherwise the staff got stiffed but no guest should loose a wink of sleep over it because, it's not on the guest to leave a tip at all.

Maggie0829 · July 2013

I do not tip the bartenders when I go to weddings. I assume that the host of the event has already done that because that is their responsibility not mine.

I have only been to one wedding that had a partially hosted bar. Since I typically do not carry cash to weddings I drank wine that night instead of ordering a $6 mixed drink. Even if I did have money on me I wouldn't have bought a drink because charging your guests for anything is rude as hell and I am certainly not going to help fund anyone's wedding.

9 times out of 10 with weddings gratuity is most likely included in the bar contract. Now with galas and fundraisers I can see that not being the case and the invited guests tipping the bartenders. But those are two competely different events that are planned and handled differently.

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