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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Asking guest to rent a room.
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Re: Asking guest to rent a room.
Holy jeebus.
YES, it is HORRIBLY rude if you ask/demand/request that your guests get a room so that they won't be late to your wedding.
Your guests are adults. They can plan and budget time accordingly so as to arrive on time, regardless of your previous inability to arrive on time. And why 30 minutes? People who love that close are just as likely to be late.
If I were your guest and you suggested this, I would roll my eyes so far back in my damn head people would be expecting me to start communicating with the dead. And I wouldn't come, wouldn't send a gift, and would side-eye the shit out of this behaviour.
Do not do this. It's a horrible, tacky, stupid idea. Treat your guests like the adults they are. You do not get to dictate anyone else's travel schedule or habits. No no no no no.
Let them know of the benefits to staying there and let them decide if they want to book a room.
Oh, and you *DO* know people like me -- it's just (probably) the case that your friends and family won't tell you what they REALLY think of your idea. Internet strangers, on the other hand, will. And did.
It's still a bad idea.
Fatty Blog
Don't do this, OP. It's absolutely FINE to block off rooms and let guests know that they're available. It's a great idea to do this. But to require them to do it because you're worried about being late? That's just not ok.
I know you're bummed that you made it to the other wedding late, but chances are, you didn't ruin the wedding (if the couple got married, you didn't ruin it. They probably didn't notice either). Inevitably, some people might be late to your wedding, as much as you try to stop that from happening. You won't notice. Trust that your guests know how to budget their travel time and will be there to witness the whole thing.
I'd be really offended if someone tried to force me to stay at a hotel. Even with the reduced rates, I can almost guarantee that there'd be something cheaper in that area that I'd prefer to stay at. And even then, I'm not going to stay overnight unless the wedding is AT LEAST 3 hours away. I wouldn't be happy if I was told to do otherwise.
I hope you're able to look past your frustration with our responses and see the good and honest feedback you've gotten here. These ladies give great advice, even if you disagree with how it's presented.
Edited for spelling
You can do whatever you want, but I suggest you don't because you are heading deep into bridezilla territory.
That said, you CAN offer to pay for lodging for any guests who are more than 30 minutes away, but they do not have to accept your offer. On the flip side, you CANNOT ask them to pay for it themselves and/or make it "mandatory" in any way.
Fatty Blog
Yes, this is bridezilla-y behavior on your part.
I know you want your wedding day as stress free as possible, but you have to trust that your guests that live over 30 minutes away will leave themselves enough time. Also it's not fair to force an expense on people that they may not be able to afford. Even if they stay at the hotel there could be issues like what if their car doesn't start or they go out to their car & have a flat tire & everyone else is already gone. You can let everyone know about the block of rooms you have booked, but that is all you can do. Yes, will it be a bummer if certain people miss there ceremony because they were late, but you can't control that. We had people late to our wedding last November because both presidential candidates and their VP were in our town for political events and roads were closed while the president drove from the airport to his venue & back. This caused us major issues because the roads closed were the ones the majority of our guests needed to travel to get to the ceremony. The groom and the groomsmen just made to the church on time. But there was nothing we could do about it. Once the groom was there and parents & bridal party were in place, we continued as planned.
Relax, you're thinking too much about this issue.
YOU were late ONE time, because YOU didn't manage your time properly and give yourself a buffer for traffic in your travel plans. That's not a good enough reason for ME to pay for a hotel room the night before your wedding.
And I would be pretty put off if the bride TOLD me to do it.
You can block rooms off and suggest it but you can't ask anybody to do so. Now, if YOU want to pay for everybody who lives outside a 30 minute radius to stay there, that's a different story!
It is ridiculous to expect ANYONE to stay in the hotel the night before your wedding. Even if they are flying in. Maybe they can take a red-eye the night before from across the country and arrive in time to drive to your wedding.
People are adults. They can figure out how to arrive on time, and if they end up getting stuck behind an accident or something on the freeway, then so be it. Even if people stay in the hotel, they could get wasted the night before and oversleep, or they could go out shopping and end up being late coming back.
You requested "no drama", but you are the one creating it.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/