Deleted.

cbrown828 · July 2013

@prettygirllost Thanks! I didn't coin it though. I work in a substance abuse treatment program and it's part of the lingo from our materials. I do use it outside of work a good bit.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

BMoreBride6 · July 2013

@Mollygates, so you didn't like the answers you were getting because they didn't validate your opinion so you just decide to delete the post? Just so you know, changing the name of a thread to "deleted" just draws more people here. And you were quoted so you can't make the post go away. I hate when people do this, especially when people took the time to give you thought out advice.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Courtpenguin21 said:

I love arrested development! You're awesome LMc!

I feel like a fraud. I don't actually watch it, it was just the best gif I found

Please don't hate me.

annathy03 · July 2013

PrettyGirlLost said:

cbrown828 said:

I was holding my sleeping 8 week old niece before my brother's wedding. When the processional music began, she woke up and began to fuss. My brother made a joke by saying hi to the baby, and I stepped away (outside wedding so I went off to the side and back) while my sister (baby's mom) fetched a bottle, because it was about feeding time anyway. My brother and his wife still got married, the entire day was beautful, and no one scolded my sister for her baby fussing during the wedding. That same baby will be six months old at my wedding. If my sister (my MOH) is walking up the aisle or standing at the altar with me and her baby fusses, I trust that her bf or another family member will know what to do. Heck, if the baby wants mommy bad enough my sister can just hold her!

My point is that you're doing what I call awfulizing. This baby will be 4 months old. Mom and Dad will know how to handle him/her. Quit looking for drama where there isn't any.

I like this term, well done.

I like it too. It reminds me of a Michael J Fox quote, "If you imagine the worst case scenario and it happens, then you've lived it twice."

CheleLyn · July 2013

I've yet to read every response, but as a mother of 4...i think it's ridiculous to be worried about it now. Trust me, by the time baby is 4 months old, mom will probably be looking forward to a little time away from baby especially if she isn't nursing. Hell, by then I was looking forward to finding a babysitter and having a day or evening out.

phira · July 2013

CheleLyn said:

I've yet to read every response, but as a mother of 4...i think it's ridiculous to be worried about it now. Trust me, by the time baby is 4 months old, mom will probably be looking forward to a little time away from baby especially if she isn't nursing. Hell, by then I was looking forward to finding a babysitter and having a day or evening out.

Yeah, I was also thinking about this, and it's another reason why worrying about it now is entirely pointless. I've got aunts and uncles who are always thrilled to get a babysitter and go somewhere without the kids.

PrettyGirlLost · July 2013

Courtpenguin21 said:

oh dear, we need to fix that. LMc you must watch arrested development. Such a funny show

Totally not judging though. Just giving you an important life lesson. Watch Arrested Development or be doomed to a life of misery. Bwahahaha

I just can't get into that one. . . It's on Netflix so maybe I will try again.

MayDay513 · July 2013

jss0302 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Courtpenguin21 said:

oh dear, we need to fix that. LMc you must watch arrested development. Such a funny show

Totally not judging though. Just giving you an important life lesson. Watch Arrested Development or be doomed to a life of misery. Bwahahaha

I just can't get into that one. . . It's on Netflix so maybe I will try again.

I thought the first season was great, the second one was okay, and I haven't been able to finish the newest season. Can't believe they are going to make another season.

We just finished the first season last night, are a couple episodes into the second season now. I

this show.

zitiqueen · July 2013

I can't believe somebody is bitching about the possibility of a crying baby being removed from their ceremony by a polite guest.

banana468 · July 2013

StageManager14 said:

banana468 said:

StageManager14 said:
Did she get knocked up through Immaculate Conception? Is there not a father around?
I totally agree with the sentiment of your post but there is one large misunderstanding in it: the Immaculate Conception is the conception of the Virgin Mary.

My apologies for the thread jack!

I actually didn't realize that, so thank you. I will correct my phrasing in the future to incorporate my new knowledge! Seriously, thanks for pointing that out, Banana, no sarcasm here. I do appreciate it.

:-) You're welcome!

ceceibson · July 2013

I held my husband's 2 year old grandson during much of our wedding. The kids and grandkids all escorted us to the altar and then stepped down to be seated. But this little one wanted me, and then his grandpa, to hold him and we did. Our wedding was obviously very family-centered, start to finish. We had 180 guest, probably 50 of them were under 18. I, too, am one of those people who loves children [good thing, since we have 12 together].

I'm with the PP who are saying relax about this whole thing. And that asking the baby's father to sit the ceremony out is ridiculous. Honestly, if I were the bridesmaid in question and you made a request like this of my husband regarding our child, I would remove myself from your wedding now.

cwaggoner07 · July 2013

Funny - One of my bridesmaids had a four month old daughter at our wedding, and she didn't miss a single event. For the bachelorette party that was in our town, but lasted all day, she ducked out for a few hours in the middle to meet her husband to nurse, and then came back to go out. Which I thought was EXTREMELY generous and I couldn't believe she came back.

At the wedding, I invited her mother, who I did not know very well, knowing that she was willing to help out with the baby. Her mother left the wedding early with the baby, and my friend partied with me all night.

I know everyone's situation is different, and she was so lucky to have her husband and mother help out, but it did not ruin ANYTHING. And I have precious pictures of her daughter at our wedding that are so so special to me.

nsweare · July 2013

So my daughter was a flower girl in my future SIL's wedding recently. DD was 18 months old. BIG MISTAKE! She did great walking down the aisle. She smiled and waved and gave herself a round of applause when she got to the alter. However, she LOST it when she realized she couldn't run around the alter during the ceremony. I had to take her out and we missed the rest. Because she caused a disruption the ceremony never took place and the bride and groom will never be married. future SIL will grow old and probably die alone. All because of a crying child. It's tragic.

Oh wait, I took DD out of the church and the ceremony took place as planned. The end.

RamonaFlowers · July 2013

My 1-year-old niece slept through my entire ceremony.

DH's 10-year-old nephew (our RB) ran out of the ceremony right before I walked down the aisle (The mom's had been seated, the BMs had all already processed in, literally, the only thing left was me walking down the aisle) yelling "Wait! I need to pee!" to EVERYONE.

So yes, there most certainly is a difference between inviting an infant and an older child. I'll take infants at a ceremony any day.

NOLAbridealmost · July 2013

So wait.....what's the conception of Jesus called? Godfathering? *Ba dum tisk*

crunchymamaof2 · July 2013

Jen4948 said:

jss0302 said:

Jen4948 said:

No, @SMarie89, she isn't me.

You're the one who "needs to calm down and take a step back."

It's up to whoever is hosting mollygates' wedding to decide who is and isn't invited-and that includes babies. Children aren't "all or none."

You can get as pissed off as you want about that, but at the end of the day, it's not a breach of etiquette to invite parents without their children-even if other children are invited. Only SOs need to be invited together-not every single child of everyone who might be a parent.

What about babies who are breastfeeding and need to be near their mother? Does that mean mom has to miss out?

It might. Not every nursing baby is welcome everywhere.

Note: This is not necessarily what I would do-it's whether or not etiquette requires it. It doesn't require that nursing babies be invited everywhere with their mothers. In practical terms, if a nursing mother isn't invited to bring her baby but can't leave it, she may well have to make the decision not to accept the invitation for herself. But also in practical terms, if the hosts are willing to make some accommodation for the baby and mother, it's a nice thing for them to do.

So in this instance, it really depends on what mollygates and her FI and/or their hosts want to do. If they really don't want to accommodate a nursing newborn, then they don't have to. I'm not arguing that it wouldn't be *nice* for them to do so-just what the minimum of etiquette requires.

Depending on the state nursing babies are legally allowed to be wherever their mother is legally allowed to be. One of the few exceptions being jury duty (but my lovely 8 month old got me out of that one).

OP, what people are harping on you is your attitude about this. Just because YOU were treated like shit as a BM does not give you the right to treat yours the same. Do you HAVE to invite the infant? Nope and that is your right. But don't get upset if your friend declines due to that as that is her right. You are way out of line to ask dad to stay out of the ceremony if baby does come. Seriously, the flower girls could be a way bigger distraction then 2 seconds of a crying 4 month old. The world does not stop when you get married. As long as you end up married at the end I'd say it was a successful day.

Let your friend get the "omg I'm preggo!" craziness out of her and plan your wedding like normal. If she seems serious about baby being IN the ceremony as time goes on, you can nip that in the butt. But just invite the baby or not. It's not rocket science.

Oh and by the way, by editing the title to "deleted" you just called a million times more attention to this. Good job!

Jen4948 · July 2013

acove2006 said:

Jen4948 said:

jss0302 said:

Jen4948 said:

No, @SMarie89, she isn't me.

You're the one who "needs to calm down and take a step back."

It's up to whoever is hosting mollygates' wedding to decide who is and isn't invited-and that includes babies. Children aren't "all or none."

You can get as pissed off as you want about that, but at the end of the day, it's not a breach of etiquette to invite parents without their children-even if other children are invited. Only SOs need to be invited together-not every single child of everyone who might be a parent.

What about babies who are breastfeeding and need to be near their mother? Does that mean mom has to miss out?

It might. Not every nursing baby is welcome everywhere.

Note: This is not necessarily what I would do-it's whether or not etiquette requires it. It doesn't require that nursing babies be invited everywhere with their mothers. In practical terms, if a nursing mother isn't invited to bring her baby but can't leave it, she may well have to make the decision not to accept the invitation for herself. But also in practical terms, if the hosts are willing to make some accommodation for the baby and mother, it's a nice thing for them to do.

So in this instance, it really depends on what mollygates and her FI and/or their hosts want to do. If they really don't want to accommodate a nursing newborn, then they don't have to. I'm not arguing that it wouldn't be *nice* for them to do so-just what the minimum of etiquette requires.

Depending on the state nursing babies are legally allowed to be wherever their mother is legally allowed to be. One of the few exceptions being jury duty (but my lovely 8 month old got me out of that one).
OP, what people are harping on you is your attitude about this. Just because YOU were treated like shit as a BM does not give you the right to treat yours the same. Do you HAVE to invite the infant? Nope and that is your right. But don't get upset if your friend declines due to that as that is her right. You are way out of line to ask dad to stay out of the ceremony if baby does come. Seriously, the flower girls could be a way bigger distraction then 2 seconds of a crying 4 month old. The world does not stop when you get married. As long as you end up married at the end I'd say it was a successful day.
Let your friend get the "omg I'm preggo!" craziness out of her and plan your wedding like normal. If she seems serious about baby being IN the ceremony as time goes on, you can nip that in the butt. But just invite the baby or not. It's not rocket science.

Oh and by the way, by editing the title to "deleted" you just called a million times more attention to this. Good job!

The bolded applies to public accommodations-not private events. Nursing mothers aren't allowed to take their babies to parties where they were not invited.

ShesSoCold · July 2013

acove2006 said:

Jen4948 said:

jss0302 said:

Jen4948 said:

No, @SMarie89, she isn't me.

You're the one who "needs to calm down and take a step back."

It's up to whoever is hosting mollygates' wedding to decide who is and isn't invited-and that includes babies. Children aren't "all or none."

You can get as pissed off as you want about that, but at the end of the day, it's not a breach of etiquette to invite parents without their children-even if other children are invited. Only SOs need to be invited together-not every single child of everyone who might be a parent.
What about babies who are breastfeeding and need to be near their mother? Does that mean mom has to miss out?
It might. Not every nursing baby is welcome everywhere.

Note: This is not necessarily what I would do-it's whether or not etiquette requires it. It doesn't require that nursing babies be invited everywhere with their mothers. In practical terms, if a nursing mother isn't invited to bring her baby but can't leave it, she may well have to make the decision not to accept the invitation for herself. But also in practical terms, if the hosts are willing to make some accommodation for the baby and mother, it's a nice thing for them to do.

So in this instance, it really depends on what mollygates and her FI and/or their hosts want to do. If they really don't want to accommodate a nursing newborn, then they don't have to. I'm not arguing that it wouldn't be *nice* for them to do so-just what the minimum of etiquette requires.

Depending on the state nursing babies are legally allowed to be wherever their mother is legally allowed to be. One of the few exceptions being jury duty (but my lovely 8 month old got me out of that one).

OP, what people are harping on you is your attitude about this. Just because YOU were treated like shit as a BM does not give you the right to treat yours the same. Do you HAVE to invite the infant? Nope and that is your right. But don't get upset if your friend declines due to that as that is her right. You are way out of line to ask dad to stay out of the ceremony if baby does come. Seriously, the flower girls could be a way bigger distraction then 2 seconds of a crying 4 month old. The world does not stop when you get married. As long as you end up married at the end I'd say it was a successful day.

Let your friend get the "omg I'm preggo!" craziness out of her and plan your wedding like normal. If she seems serious about baby being IN the ceremony as time goes on, you can nip that in the butt. But just invite the baby or not. It's not rocket science.

Oh and by the way, by editing the title to "deleted" you just called a million times more attention to this. Good job!

That's interesting - I did not know that. I wonder how that applies to those crazies who nurse their poor kids until they're like 10...?

wittykitty14 · July 2013

Just to butt in here...

We had so many kids at the wedding last week. It was AWESOME. At one point during the ceremony, I noticed that one was crying and fussing, and I think a parent left with it for a while (I couldn't say for sure). But when that happened, I laughed to myself, thinking of TK, and how so many people worry that fussing children will ruin their day. It was barely noticeable, and not an issue at all.

BMoreBride6 · July 2013

this is a bit off topic but I have a friend who ran a marathon while nursing. She had her husband meet her and specific check points, she'd duck out, nurse the baby, then jump back in. And she still finished in under 4:15!

crunchymamaof2 · July 2013

BMoreBride6 said:

this is a bit off topic but I have a friend who ran a marathon while nursing. She had her husband meet her and specific check points, she'd duck out, nurse the baby, then jump back in. And she still finished in under 4:15!

that's awesome

[Deleted User] · July 2013

BMoreBride6 said:

this is a bit off topic but I have a friend who ran a marathon while nursing. She had her husband meet her and specific check points, she'd duck out, nurse the baby, then jump back in. And she still finished in under 4:15!

Wow, that's incredible!

BMoreBride6 · July 2013

LMc0322 said:

BMoreBride6 said:

this is a bit off topic but I have a friend who ran a marathon while nursing. She had her husband meet her and specific check points, she'd duck out, nurse the baby, then jump back in. And she still finished in under 4:15!

Wow, that's incredible!

Yeah she's subhuman...she regularly cranks out sub 3:30 marathons for fun...

Jen4948 · July 2013

coopergirl15 said:

Jen4948 said: "The bolded applies to public accommodations-not private events. Nursing mothers aren't allowed to take their babies to parties where they were not invited." Let it go all ready. This bride's attitude was the problem, not the issue you keep harping on.

Coopergirl, this was a reply to another post in the thread that someone else made. So the bolded is out of place. If you don't want to read about it, ignore it, which is your right, but don't tell me to let it go or that I "keep harping on" it. That's my right.

Jen4948 · July 2013

1covejack said:

Jen4948 said:

coopergirl15 said:

Jen4948 said: "The bolded applies to public accommodations-not private events. Nursing mothers aren't allowed to take their babies to parties where they were not invited." Let it go all ready. This bride's attitude was the problem, not the issue you keep harping on.

Coopergirl, this was a reply to another post in the thread that someone else made. So the bolded is out of place. If you don't want to read about it, ignore it, which is your right, but don't tell me to let it go or that I "keep harping on" it. That's my right.

You're coming across as really confrontational.

So did coopergirl.

SMarie89 · July 2013

Jen4948 said:

1covejack said:

Jen4948 said:

coopergirl15 said:

Jen4948 said: "The bolded applies to public accommodations-not private events. Nursing mothers aren't allowed to take their babies to parties where they were not invited." Let it go all ready. This bride's attitude was the problem, not the issue you keep harping on.

Coopergirl, this was a reply to another post in the thread that someone else made. So the bolded is out of place. If you don't want to read about it, ignore it, which is your right, but don't tell me to let it go or that I "keep harping on" it. That's my right.

You're coming across as really confrontational.

So did coopergirl.

Jen4948 · July 2013

SMarie89 said:

Jen4948 said:

1covejack said:

Jen4948 said:

coopergirl15 said:

Jen4948 said: "The bolded applies to public accommodations-not private events. Nursing mothers aren't allowed to take their babies to parties where they were not invited." Let it go all ready. This bride's attitude was the problem, not the issue you keep harping on.

Coopergirl, this was a reply to another post in the thread that someone else made. So the bolded is out of place. If you don't want to read about it, ignore it, which is your right, but don't tell me to let it go or that I "keep harping on" it. That's my right.

You're coming across as really confrontational.

So did coopergirl.

Then everyone's out of luck.

TKzilla · July 2013

RamonaFlowers · July 2013

Oh, @Jen4948, please keep going. I really want to see if you can manage to top your performance from that time you spent several pages telling everyone and their mother that if a marriage ends because a husband went out and got a teenager pregnant, that somehow the wife is 50% responsible for the divorce because we "don't know what his side of the story was"

It'll be tough, but if anyone can do it, I'm certain it's you.

Deleted.

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