I've always wanted a small wedding with no fuss or hassle, especially because my fiance and I are just starting out. My mom has always wanted me to have a large wedding so all of her friends and our family could attend. She refused to come to a smaller wedding so I consented to a larger one as long as she paid for the extra guests and costs (larger venue, more food, etc.) We chose a date but then found out my best friend and my fiance's sister were both pregnant and due within days of the wedding date. We absolutely want them both there but my mom refuses to listen to any change of date plans because the original wedding date is a better time for her and she says we shouldn't change our plans for others. Nothing has been set in stone yet because the wedding and reception venues are at a local church and can be changed and my dress is the only thing that has been purchased. I desperately want my mom, and consequently some of her side of the family, to be there but she will not listen to reason even after offering to change to a smaller wedding that we would pay for. How can I make this process easier without waiting and hoping she comes?
Re: Wedding date drama
She sounds like a bully, and you're letting her bully you. If she gets her way about this, what will she want her way about next? How you raise your kids? How many you have? What you name them?
Call her bluff. Tell her, 'Mom, FI and I have decided to have a small ceremony on X date. This is what we want, so the discussion is over.'
Also, I recommend planning the wedding you and your FI can afford and doing it quickly so that everything is done and she can't object or change anything.