How to handle family member wanting to bring their baby

antibride2013 · September 2013

It makes it the brides fault that she would not compromise and respect her soon to be grooms family traditions. His wedding was the only one anyone had EVER even heard of where children weren't invited. That is why everyone was talking about the bride.

I unfortunately have to say because of this woman, my cousin is not "allowed" around his own family. He is really whipped, which is a sad admission. I know a lot of you think my family is rude or being harsh, but this woman is HORRIBLE. She has literally taken birthday cards, christmas cards, etc my cousin has sent to my kids and my sisters kids OUT of the mailbox. I know this because he has asked if the gifts were ever received (yeah I am a HUGE stickler for thank you cards-my kids send thank you cards for everything too) and I tell him no. She would admit to taking them out of the mail because "they are not your nephews".

NYCBruin · September 2013

antibride2013 said:
It makes it the brides fault that she would not compromise and respect her soon to be grooms family traditions. His wedding was the only one anyone had EVER even heard of where children weren't invited. That is why everyone was talking about the bride.

I unfortunately have to say because of this woman, my cousin is not "allowed" around his own family. He is really whipped, which is a sad admission. I know a lot of you think my family is rude or being harsh, but this woman is HORRIBLE. She has literally taken birthday cards, christmas cards, etc my cousin has sent to my kids and my sisters kids OUT of the mailbox. I know this because he has asked if the gifts were ever received (yeah I am a HUGE stickler for thank you cards-my kids send thank you cards for everything too) and I tell him no. She would admit to taking them out of the mail because "they are not your nephews".

The groom could have said, "it's important to me that children are invited" but he didn't. Unless she held a gun to his head, he agreed to all of this.

There are plenty of "family traditions" on both my side and FI's that we are not doing because WE don't want to do them. I would hope that his family doesn't think that I'm terrible because HE thinks some of their traditions are stupid and doesn't want to do them.

You don't like this woman. That's fine. But it doesn't make her and your cousins decision to not have children rude.

Eta left out a word.

SKPM · September 2013

antibride2013 said:

It makes it the brides fault that she would not compromise and respect her soon to be grooms family traditions. His wedding was the only one anyone had EVER even heard of where children weren't invited. That is why everyone was talking about the bride.

I unfortunately have to say because of this woman, my cousin is not "allowed" around his own family. He is really whipped, which is a sad admission. I know a lot of you think my family is rude or being harsh, but this woman is HORRIBLE. She has literally taken birthday cards, christmas cards, etc my cousin has sent to my kids and my sisters kids OUT of the mailbox. I know this because he has asked if the gifts were ever received (yeah I am a HUGE stickler for thank you cards-my kids send thank you cards for everything too) and I tell him no. She would admit to taking them out of the mail because "they are not your nephews".

I realize you obviously don't like this woman, but why are you not also angry at your cousin? It was his wedding too. Your cousin and his partner decided to have a no-kids wedding and your extended family didn't like it. Too bad, end of story.

This is like the kids who blame the "other woman" for their parents' divorce, when obviously Dad had a hand in breaking up the marriage.

Jen4948 · September 2013

antibride2013 said:

It makes it the brides fault that she would not compromise and respect her soon to be grooms family traditions. His wedding was the only one anyone had EVER even heard of where children weren't invited. That is why everyone was talking about the bride.

I unfortunately have to say because of this woman, my cousin is not "allowed" around his own family. He is really whipped, which is a sad admission. I know a lot of you think my family is rude or being harsh, but this woman is HORRIBLE. She has literally taken birthday cards, christmas cards, etc my cousin has sent to my kids and my sisters kids OUT of the mailbox. I know this because he has asked if the gifts were ever received (yeah I am a HUGE stickler for thank you cards-my kids send thank you cards for everything too) and I tell him no. She would admit to taking them out of the mail because "they are not your nephews".

The bride is not responsible for providing you with an invitation because you didn't want to look for childcare or felt you couldn't trust anyone else-regardless of what "family tradition" is.

You made the decision that you didn't want to find a babysitter for your kid while you flew out of town. That was entirely your choice-as it was entirely your choice to feel "insulted."

As soon as you made a decision to have a child, you should have made the adult realization that you are not entitled to expect an invitation for your kid whenever you get one, even by family or close friends; that it's up to you to find babysitters you can trust who are not family members when you want to attend family events where they are not invited; and that you are entitled to decline invitations that don't include your kid, but not to complain that someone else is at fault for their right not to accommodate you at what is probably the biggest event in their life. It's not about you or your kid.

Maggie0829 · September 2013

SKPM said:

antibride2013 said:

It makes it the brides fault that she would not compromise and respect her soon to be grooms family traditions. His wedding was the only one anyone had EVER even heard of where children weren't invited. That is why everyone was talking about the bride.

I unfortunately have to say because of this woman, my cousin is not "allowed" around his own family. He is really whipped, which is a sad admission. I know a lot of you think my family is rude or being harsh, but this woman is HORRIBLE. She has literally taken birthday cards, christmas cards, etc my cousin has sent to my kids and my sisters kids OUT of the mailbox. I know this because he has asked if the gifts were ever received (yeah I am a HUGE stickler for thank you cards-my kids send thank you cards for everything too) and I tell him no. She would admit to taking them out of the mail because "they are not your nephews".

I realize you obviously don't like this woman, but why are you not also angry at your cousin? It was his wedding too. Your cousin and his partner decided to have a no-kids wedding and your extended family didn't like it. Too bad, end of story.

This is like the kids who blame the "other woman" for their parents' divorce, when obviously Dad had a hand in breaking up the marriage.

100% this.

KickAssMOH · September 2013

antibride2013 said:

I was insulted more because she knew that most of his family would not be able to come. I live in KY, my sisters live in Colorado, and the wedding was in New York. I wasn't going to leave my children, neither were my sisters. The only people we know in New York is all family, who would be at the wedding, so there was no one to watch the kids. The bride KNEW that. That is where the insulted feelings come from.

I go as many places as I can without my kids. I do not even think I have ever brought them to a wedding that I have attended locally. I have a babysitter. The weddings they have gone to have been out of state, and of course, of FAMILY members. Like I said, weddings in my family are family events. Which also explains my grandmothers humiliation in regards to 80% of her family being excluded because of the bride.

I am the first person in my family to host a child-free wedding, and I have no regrets about hosting a function that is different from what my family has done in the past. My extended family lives in other states as well, and while they were a bit displeased to find out they'd have to travel to Boston for my wedding (the city where I have always lived, and FI and I met/live/continue to live in together) I felt fine saying to them "well, this is the wedding I am planning, you are welcome to come and celebrate and I would love to host you here in Boston but unfortunately I am not going to plan a destination wedding for myself where YOU live to accomodate YOU." ...which i think is pretty normal and I feel bad for your cousin's wife that she had to deal with so much opposition from her new family.

southernbelle0915 · September 2013

antibride2013 said:

I was insulted more because she knew that most of his family would not be able to come. Presumably, your cousin also knew where he was getting married. I live in KY, my sisters live in Colorado, and the wedding was in New York. I wasn't going to leave my children, neither were my sisters. The only people we know in New York is all family, who would be at the wedding, so there was no one to watch the kids. The bride KNEW that. That is where the insulted feelings come from. Really? So should the New York family be insulted if they had chosen Colorado or Kentucky? Where is HER family from? Why do you think they should have chosen to have their wedding in YOUR home state or your SISTERS' home state? It's not about you. Like at all. And it's ludicrous to be insulted by this.

I go as many places as I can without my kids. I do not even think I have ever brought them to a wedding that I have attended locally. I have a babysitter. The weddings they have gone to have been out of state, and of course, of FAMILY members. Like I said, weddings in my family are family events. Unless your family marries each other (which I doubt), you also need to realize that OTHER families have their own wedding traditions which may be (*gasp*) adult only events. Why do you think that only your family's outlook on weddings matters? Which also explains my grandmothers humiliation in regards to 80% of her family being excluded because of the bride. This reaction is unreasonable and extremely self-important.

antibride2013 said:

It makes it the brides fault that she would not compromise and respect her soon to be grooms family traditions. You do not know the whole story. Even if your cousin said "she wouldn't compromise", you STILL don't know the whole story. And your cousin AGREED to this. He is half of the wedding. They share blame equally - you just don't want to accept that because you love him and want to blame his wife for it. His wedding was the only one anyone had EVER even heard of where children weren't invited. Oh well. That is why everyone was talking about the bride. I can't tell if you think this is a reasonable excuse to talk poorly about your cousin's wife and blame her for everything. If you do, newsflash, it's not.

I unfortunately have to say because of this woman, my cousin is not "allowed" around his own family. He is really whipped, which is a sad admission. I know a lot of you think my family is rude or being harsh, but this woman is HORRIBLE. She has literally taken birthday cards, christmas cards, etc my cousin has sent to my kids and my sisters kids OUT of the mailbox. I know this because he has asked if the gifts were ever received (yeah I am a HUGE stickler for thank you cards-my kids send thank you cards for everything too) and I tell him no. She would admit to taking them out of the mail because "they are not your nephews". Technically, they're not. They're his second cousins.

A lot of this sounds like hearsay and family gossip. If this woman is truly isolating your cousin, I'm sorry to hear that. But again, he is allowing it to happen and cannot be held harmless. If I were your cousin's wife and his family talked this much shit about me, I'd distance myself too. I'd be like "fuck that - those people blame me for everything and talk badly about me all the time."

If you want a relationship with your cousin, I suggest you start including his wife on things such as their wedding card. To me, it sounds like you're isolating her as a family "outsider".

ETA: left out a word

banana468 · September 2013

NYCBruin said:

antibride2013 said:
It makes it the brides fault that she would not compromise and respect her soon to be grooms family traditions. His wedding was the only one anyone had EVER even heard of where children weren't invited. That is why everyone was talking about the bride.

I unfortunately have to say because of this woman, my cousin is not "allowed" around his own family. He is really whipped, which is a sad admission. I know a lot of you think my family is rude or being harsh, but this woman is HORRIBLE. She has literally taken birthday cards, christmas cards, etc my cousin has sent to my kids and my sisters kids OUT of the mailbox. I know this because he has asked if the gifts were ever received (yeah I am a HUGE stickler for thank you cards-my kids send thank you cards for everything too) and I tell him no. She would admit to taking them out of the mail because "they are not your nephews".
The groom could have said, "it's important to me that children are invited" but he didn't. Unless she held a gun to his head, he agreed to all of this.

There are plenty of "family traditions" on both my side and FI's that we are not doing because WE don't want to do them. I would hope that his family doesn't think that I'm terrible because HE thinks some of their traditions are stupid and doesn't want to do them.

You don't like this woman. That's fine. But it doesn't make her and your cousins decision to not have children rude.

Eta left out a word.

Your cousin isn't blameless here.

You're also taking out your dislike in his choices as a rude thing to your family.

Frankly, your "this isn't how we do things in this family" statements also make you look controlling and they remind me of statements you hear in mob movies.

antibride2013 · September 2013

Guys Look! I completely understand that it is not rude to have an adult only wedding. I am all for adult only affairs. And I also understand that the decision to have a child means certain things are given up. I am not disagreeing at ALL! What I am saying is that in this case, this woman is HORRIBLE. My cousin is not in good graces with anyone, still stemming from this event. This woman was rude, yes it was her choice, No she didn't hold a gun to his head, but he did in fact tell her in front of my grandmother and my aunt that he wants kids there, that they mean a lot to him, she said "well that is too bad", and when my grandmother said there has never been a wedding without children, they are family too, this woman actually told her "well you all don't have to come either, no one will miss you. I will not have kids,at my wedding" and told my cousin if you have a problem with my decision, well we don't have to get married".

She also cussed my mother out for giving them a $1,000 savings bond. She said that wasn't polite, and a shitty gift.

I completely agree the choice to have a adult reception is completely fine. I will never say any different. The way she went about everything was rude and insulting. Like I said, she is HORRIBLE.

PrettyGirlLost · September 2013

SKPM said:

antibride2013 said:

It makes it the brides fault that she would not compromise and respect her soon to be grooms family traditions. His wedding was the only one anyone had EVER even heard of where children weren't invited. That is why everyone was talking about the bride.

I unfortunately have to say because of this woman, my cousin is not "allowed" around his own family. He is really whipped, which is a sad admission. I know a lot of you think my family is rude or being harsh, but this woman is HORRIBLE. She has literally taken birthday cards, christmas cards, etc my cousin has sent to my kids and my sisters kids OUT of the mailbox. I know this because he has asked if the gifts were ever received (yeah I am a HUGE stickler for thank you cards-my kids send thank you cards for everything too) and I tell him no. She would admit to taking them out of the mail because "they are not your nephews".

I realize you obviously don't like this woman, but why are you not also angry at your cousin? It was his wedding too. Your cousin and his partner decided to have a no-kids wedding and your extended family didn't like it. Too bad, end of story.

This is like the kids who blame the "other woman" for their parents' divorce, when obviously Dad had a hand in breaking up the marriage.

NYCBruin said:

It makes it the brides fault that she would not compromise and respect her soon to be grooms family traditions. His wedding was the only one anyone had EVER even heard of where children weren't invited. That is why everyone was talking about the bride.

I unfortunately have to say because of this woman, my cousin is not "allowed" around his own family. He is really whipped, which is a sad admission. I know a lot of you think my family is rude or being harsh, but this woman is HORRIBLE. She has literally taken birthday cards, christmas cards, etc my cousin has sent to my kids and my sisters kids OUT of the mailbox. I know this because he has asked if the gifts were ever received (yeah I am a HUGE stickler for thank you cards-my kids send thank you cards for everything too) and I tell him no. She would admit to taking them out of the mail because "they are not your nephews".
The groom could have said, "it's important to me that children are invited" but he didn't. Unless she held a gun to his head, he agreed to all of this. There are plenty of "family traditions" on both my side and FI's that we are not doing because WE don't want to do them. I would hope that his family doesn't think that I'm terrible because HE thinks some of their traditions are stupid and doesn't want to do them. You don't like this woman. That's fine. But it doesn't make her and your cousins decision to not have children rude. Eta left out a word.

While I get where you are coming from, I agree with the bolded here. Your cousin is an adult who made a decision too. You and your family should be pissed at him, and not project so much anger towards his wife. . . who is a part of your family now.

However, couples have every right to have a child free wedding, whether or not it is against family tradition, or you have a small close family. That is all irrelevant. Like others have said, you and your family have no idea what went into the decision to have a child free event. . . it could have been financial considerations, venue size limitations, the venue may have not been appropriate for children, etc.

as to the rest of your post about what your cousin isn't "allowed" to do, again I think you are projecting some things onto his wife. She may just be the most horrible creature on Earth, but your your cousin is an adult, and unless he is being held hostage, tied up and held at gun-point, he can choose to see his family. He can choose to mail his own shit for himself from his work address if this is really an issue and if he really wants to make sure his young cousins* receive their gifts.

Perhaps your cousins doesn't want anything to do with the rest of the family right now because of how awful people acted at his wedding, bad mouthing his new wife, and because of the family's general attitude toward her?

*Just to be pedantic for a sec, but your cousin's wife is correct they are not his nephews; Your children are his 1st cousins once removed.

NYCBruin · September 2013

antibride2013 said:
Guys Look! I completely understand that it is not rude to have an adult only wedding. I am all for adult only affairs. And I also understand that the decision to have a child means certain things are given up. I am not disagreeing at ALL! What I am saying is that in this case, this woman is HORRIBLE. My cousin is not in good graces with anyone, still stemming from this event. This woman was rude, yes it was her choice, No she didn't hold a gun to his head, but he did in fact tell her in front of my grandmother and my aunt that he wants kids there, that they mean a lot to him, she said "well that is too bad", and when my grandmother said there has never been a wedding without children, they are family too, this woman actually told her "well you all don't have to come either, no one will miss you. I will not have kids,at my wedding" and told my cousin if you have a problem with my decision, well we don't have to get married".

She also cussed my mother out for giving them a $1,000 savings bond. She said that wasn't polite, and a shitty gift.

I completely agree the choice to have a adult reception is completely fine. I will never say any different. The way she went about everything was rude and insulting. Like I said, she is HORRIBLE.

Again, none of this changes anything. Your cousin did agree to the no kids wedding. He is not blameless. You are also basing a lot off of one conversation that you heard about second hand. You have no idea what other conversations they had about this.

You don't have to like her. There are some legitimate complaints about her. That still doesn't change the fact that it wasn't rude of her and your cousin to not invite your child or fair for you to be "insulted" by that choice.

Just because a person does some (many) rude things doesn't mean everything they do automatically becomes rude.

Maggie0829 · September 2013

antibride2013 said:

Guys Look! I completely understand that it is not rude to have an adult only wedding. I am all for adult only affairs. And I also understand that the decision to have a child means certain things are given up. I am not disagreeing at ALL! What I am saying is that in this case, this woman is HORRIBLE. My cousin is not in good graces with anyone, still stemming from this event. This woman was rude, yes it was her choice, No she didn't hold a gun to his head, but he did in fact tell her in front of my grandmother and my aunt that he wants kids there, that they mean a lot to him, she said "well that is too bad", and when my grandmother said there has never been a wedding without children, they are family too, this woman actually told her "well you all don't have to come either, no one will miss you. I will not have kids,at my wedding" and told my cousin if you have a problem with my decision, well we don't have to get married".

She also cussed my mother out for giving them a $1,000 savings bond. She said that wasn't polite, and a shitty gift.

I completely agree the choice to have a adult reception is completely fine. I will never say any different. The way she went about everything was rude and insulting. Like I said, she is HORRIBLE.

Okay this woman may be a raging bitch. BUT, that still doesn't mean it is all her fault. Your cousin could have stood up to her and should have especially if she was cussing family members out. But he didn't. He let it happen. So the blame still falls on him as well, no matter how much you hate this lady. So in the end it was the bride and your cousin that was rude and insulting to everyone, not just the bride.

antibride2013 · September 2013

@banana468....Well my family is of polish, irish, and italian decent...there might be some mob affiliations in there!

@southernbelle0915.....she is horrible. I don't think much is hearsay, my family is very blunt. I have been cussed many a time for stuff (I will admit, I deserved a lot of it).

And yes, my cousin was a lot to blame as well for being so pussy-whipped. He has been told many times to grow a backbone.

PrettyGirlLost · September 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

antibride2013 said:
*snip*She would admit to taking them out of the mail because "they are not your nephews". Technically, they're not. They're his second cousins.

southernbelle0915 Actually, they are his 1st cousins once removed. 2nd cousins are the children of 2 first cousins, so if Antibride's cousin and his hated wife have kids then their kids and Antibride's kids are 2nd cousins.

southernbelle0915 · September 2013

PrettyGirlLost said:

southernbelle0915 said:

antibride2013 said:
*snip*She would admit to taking them out of the mail because "they are not your nephews". Technically, they're not. They're his second cousins.

southernbelle0915 Actually, they are his 1st cousins once removed. 2nd cousins are the children of 2 first cousins, so if Antibride's cousin and his hated wife have kids then their kids and Antibride's kids are 2nd cousins.

I learned something today.

antibride2013 · September 2013

Yes you are correct PrettyGirlLost, but he thinks of them as his nephews, since he will never have any nephews or nieces. She did that just to be a bitch. Plain and simple.

antibride2013 · September 2013

@Maggie0829- Yes you are right-It was them both. And like I said, we have told Brian many times to stop being so pussy-whipped, grow a backbone and stop allowing her to do this shit.

Maggie0829 · September 2013

antibride2013 said:

@Maggie0829- Yes you are right-It was them both. And like I said, we have told Brian many times to stop being so pussy-whipped, grow a backbone and stop allowing her to do this shit.

She must be really good in the sack, because I don't know many men who will just bend over and let their SO treat their family like crap. Honestly, I would stop saying anything to him about how he is because it doesn't seem like it works. I would kill (figuratively of course) the raging bitch with kindness when you do see her. Hopefully your cousin will wake up one day and realize that he doesn't talk to a lot of his family because of they way his wife treats them and will finally grow a pair. But until then you just have to let him be.

Jen4948 · September 2013

antibride2013 said:

@Maggie0829- Yes you are right-It was them both. And like I said, we have told Brian many times to stop being so pussy-whipped, grow a backbone and stop allowing her to do this shit.

The fact that kids were not invited does not make your cousin "pussy-whipped" or "lacking a backbone." Other factors may, but maybe it was HIS desire not to have kids at his wedding or "follow family tradition" ! Did he specifically indicate that he agreed to it only to satisfy his bride? If not, I'd knock off the name-calling in this particular respect.

PrettyGirlLost · September 2013

antibride2013 said:

@banana468....Well my family is of polish, irish, and italian decent...there might be some mob affiliations in there!

@southernbelle0915.....she is horrible. I don't think much is hearsay, my family is very blunt. I have been cussed many a time for stuff (I will admit, I deserved a lot of it).

And yes, my cousin was a lot to blame as well for being so pussy-whipped. He has been told many times to grow a backbone.

If the interaction with Cousin, GMa, and Aunt actually went down as it was told to you, then I agree this woman was a bit nasty and immature in how she chose to respond to her future family.

However, your cousin chose to go along with the wedding as planned, and your GMa and Aunt had no business interjecting their opinions into the conversation or into the wedding planning between your cousin and his future wife UNLESS they were paying for a portion of it.

And why were you told any of that information? That interaction was only between the people directly involved at the time, and it should have stayed as such. Your family sound like gossips, and a gossipy environment just breeds unnecessary and immature, catty drama.

Your family also sound like they are very nosy and judgmental- referring to your cousin as pussy-whipped because he sides with his wife on things, or chooses to go along with what she wants, rather than what you all want? You may be his immediate family, but she is his wife now and they should be a team, especially if they are going to build their own family together. I think you guys need to butt out a bit.

antibride2013 · September 2013

@Maggie0829- Excellent advise. Communication has gone way down over the years. Which makes me sad. And I think it is more of the she is very attractive, and he thinks he may be lucky to have her because she is attractive.

PrettyGirlLost · September 2013

antibride2013 said:

Yes you are correct PrettyGirlLost, but he thinks of them as his nephews, since he will never have any nephews or nieces. She did that just to be a bitch. Plain and simple.

Yeah, and that is totally fine, no arguments there! We do that in our family because frankly it is just easier!

Anti, if all that you say is really true, I am sorry for you, I really am. But I do think the situation can improve if you all try to get along with her, and don't alienate your poor cousin, because he will need you all if things take a turn for the worse in his relationship. Also, you may actually drive him away from all of you

Stop being gossipy as a family, and try to kill her with kindness as Maggie said. Then your cousin may start to realize that maybe the issues are stemming from a single source and try to talk to her. . .

Maggie0829 · September 2013

I don't think there is anything wrong with him siding with his wife with certain things, but when it comes to his wife being outwardly rude to his family members and even cussing a member of his family out because she didn't like a gift she was given, then I think calling him pussy-whipped or not having a backbone fits. She may be his wife but he has the right to call her out if she is acting inappropriately towards his family members.

Now if he does agree with how she treats his family then he is just as much of a jerk as she is.

PrettyGirlLost · September 2013

Maggie0829 said:

I don't think there is anything wrong with him siding with his wife with certain things, but when it comes to his wife being outwardly rude to his family members and even cussing a member of his family out because she didn't like a gift she was given, then I think calling him pussy-whipped or not having a backbone fits. She may be his wife but he has the right to call her out if she is acting inappropriately towards his family members.

Now if he does agree with how she treats his family then he is just as much of a jerk as she is.

Sure, if this is actually happening. If Antibride were to say that she personally witnessed these things, then ok I'd believe her. . . as much as anyone on an internet forum believes another person on the internet, lol.

But if Anti is just relating info that she is being told from this family member and that family member, and not direct interactions she has had with this woman, well then it's gossip and hearsay, and there is a possibility that the stories are being embellished.

So my point is just that we, us and she, shouldn't necessarily judge this woman based on what other people are saying. However she may very well be just awful.

antibride2013 · September 2013

@PrettyGirlLost- When we visit everyone in New York- we do try very hard to get along with her. I do not intentionally go out of my way to be a meanie to her. And please know everyone- I am using you lovely ladies to vent my hurt feelings not just about his wedding but about all the other stuff. I wouldn't intentionally say anything hurtful to her face! I have gotten a bit carried away today, sorry about that. I really want to find SOMETHING positive about her! I try really hard!

PrettyGirlLost · September 2013

antibride2013 said:

@PrettyGirlLost- When we visit everyone in New York- we do try very hard to get along with her. I do not intentionally go out of my way to be a meanie to her. And please know everyone- I am using you lovely ladies to vent my hurt feelings not just about his wedding but about all the other stuff. I wouldn't intentionally say anything hurtful to her face! I have gotten a bit carried away today, sorry about that. I really want to find SOMETHING positive about her! I try really hard!

Aw it's ok *hugs*

Just keep up the good efforts, lol!

Maggie0829 · September 2013

PrettyGirlLost said:

Maggie0829 said:

I don't think there is anything wrong with him siding with his wife with certain things, but when it comes to his wife being outwardly rude to his family members and even cussing a member of his family out because she didn't like a gift she was given, then I think calling him pussy-whipped or not having a backbone fits. She may be his wife but he has the right to call her out if she is acting inappropriately towards his family members.

Now if he does agree with how she treats his family then he is just as much of a jerk as she is.

Sure, if this is actually happening. If Antibride were to say that she personally witnessed these things, then ok I'd believe her. . . as much as anyone on an internet forum believes another person on the internet, lol.

But if Anti is just relating info that she is being told from this family member and that family member, and not direct interactions she has had with this woman, well then it's gossip and hearsay, and there is a possibility that the stories are being embellished.

So my point is just that we, us and she, shouldn't necessarily judge this woman based on what other people are saying. However she may very well be just awful.

I get what you are saying. But if my own Mother told me that this person cussed her out and her husband who is a member of our family did nothing to stop it then I would believe my Mother. Now if my Mother had said, that cousin Nancy had heard from Uncle David that second Aunt Mildred got cussed out, then I would be questioning the facts to that story.

But what I am trying to say is that if this stuff truly is happening and the cousin is doing nothing to stop his wife from being outwardly rude to his family then, yes, he needs to grow a back bone and say something to her.

I also said in a previous post that telling him that he is pussy whipped should stop because it isn't doing anything to fix the situation. It is most likely making the cousin mad because I don't know many guys who like to be called pussy-whipped.

PrettyGirlLost · September 2013

Maggie0829 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Maggie0829 said:

I don't think there is anything wrong with him siding with his wife with certain things, but when it comes to his wife being outwardly rude to his family members and even cussing a member of his family out because she didn't like a gift she was given, then I think calling him pussy-whipped or not having a backbone fits. She may be his wife but he has the right to call her out if she is acting inappropriately towards his family members.

Now if he does agree with how she treats his family then he is just as much of a jerk as she is.

Sure, if this is actually happening. If Antibride were to say that she personally witnessed these things, then ok I'd believe her. . . as much as anyone on an internet forum believes another person on the internet, lol.

But if Anti is just relating info that she is being told from this family member and that family member, and not direct interactions she has had with this woman, well then it's gossip and hearsay, and there is a possibility that the stories are being embellished.

So my point is just that we, us and she, shouldn't necessarily judge this woman based on what other people are saying. However she may very well be just awful.

I get what you are saying. But if my own Mother told me that this person cussed her out and her husband who is a member of our family did nothing to stop it then I would believe my Mother. Now if my Mother had said, that cousin Nancy had heard from Uncle David that second Aunt Mildred got cussed out, then I would be questioning the facts to that story.

But what I am trying to say is that if this stuff truly is happening and the cousin is doing nothing to stop his wife from being outwardly rude to his family then, yes, he needs to grow a back bone and say something to her.

I also said in a previous post that telling him that he is pussy whipped should stop because it isn't doing anything to fix the situation. It is most likely making the cousin mad because I don't know many guys who like to be called pussy-whipped.

I may have missed a post where she said her Mom told her xyz. . .

But to the bolded- we ain't fighting, we on the same page! :-P

Maggie0829 · September 2013

@PrettyGirlLost - I like being on the same page! My brain is a bit fuzzy today so I was afraid that I wasn't explaining what I was trying to say well enough

PrettyGirlLost · September 2013

Maggie0829 said:

@PrettyGirlLost - I like being on the same page! My brain is a bit fuzzy today so I was afraid that I wasn't explaining what I was trying to say well enough

No, no, no. I think my post came off as more argumentative to yours, rather than conversational.

How to handle family member wanting to bring their baby

Re: How to handle family member wanting to bring their baby

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