Cash Bar vs. Open Bar - What Your Friends Are Saying

APDSS22 · December 2013

1. Most people would rather not be hosted rudely. Most dry weddings take place in the morning/early afternoon or are for religious/personal reasons and not a surprise. If guests can't go a couple hours without alcohol, they probably need to decline the invitation for the wedding and consider why that is.

2. If there are provided alcoholic drinks and provided non-alcoholic drinks, likely a guest can find something to drink. If they can't, maybe they will leave early but at least the hosts were not rude.

3. If the bride and groom are asking their guests to pay for something at an event they are "hosting" that is rude, end of story. The point has been made by PPs that this is especially horrid when they are poor hosts who have spent all their wedding budget on selfish things like a designer dress and shoes. If they can't pay for their guests' alcohol, they shouldn't have alcohol. A dry wedding or a limited bar are always an option if money is an issue in that area.

photokitty · December 2013

clairekundinger said:
1) saying that if guests want a cash bar that it's their problem is not caring about your guest. A lot of people would rather have a cash bar than no bar.

2) if the beer and wine were free and that was all there was, a person who didn't drink that would be sober around drunk people while as a partially hosted bar with beer and wine and then a cash option would allow you the same kind of options if you didn't want to pay for drinks and an option to have something you like drinking if you want.

3) if a bride isn't in a designer dress and the couple spends 90% of their budget on trying to feed and drink and host their guests and still have only a partially hosted bar... Is that as insulting? Do you judge them as much?

I don't drink beer and am fairly picky about wine. I would judge a cash bar / partially hosted regardless of what the bride is wearing. Host what you can afford. I'd rather attend a dry wedding than one with a cash bar. No guest wants a cash bar, all guests want a full open premium bar ~ true story.

manateehugger · December 2013

clairekundinger said:

I am not trying to be an ass hat here, and I know this whole subject is a "bang head here" subject but I honestly don't see the difference in offering just beer and wine paid or offering beer and wine paid plus a cash bar. I'm not a beer or wine drinker! I'm not even a cheap rail booze drinker. I would never expect someone else to provide me with grey goose all night long.... But I feel left out when all there is to drink is beer and wine and rail drinks. I would much prefer a cash bar over that. And yeah people always want to drink for free (free is way better) but I'm a fan of options. As an adult I can decide whether to purchase a drink at a wedding or not. As for people taking back their gifts to pay for the bar, I wasn't expecting gifts anyway. I don't invite people for gifts and if someone would rather get shit tanked than give me a weddig gift, I'd never think of complaining.

So you expect that your host should make Grey Goose available for you to buy because you're picky about liquor?

NYCBruin · December 2013

clairekundinger said:

1) saying that if guests want a cash bar that it's their problem is not caring about your guest. A lot of people would rather have a cash bar than no bar. 2) if the beer and wine were free and that was all there was, a person who didn't drink that would be sober around drunk people while as a partially hosted bar with beer and wine and then a cash option would allow you the same kind of options if you didn't want to pay for drinks and an option to have something you like drinking if you want. 3) if a bride isn't in a designer dress and the couple spends 90% of their budget on trying to feed and drink and host their guests and still have only a partially hosted bar... Is that as insulting? Do you judge them as much?

1) If you care so much about pleasing your guests, then pay for an open bar. Everyone would prefer an open bar over a cash bar. So if you're "not caring about your guests" by not giving them the option to drink, then by your logic anyone who doesn't have a full top-shelf open bar doesn't care about your guests. This simply isn't true.

2) Someone being upset that their first choice of drink isn't available and is therefore sober is very different than someone being sober because they didn't bring cash. The first situation is like being upset because there was only a chicken, beef and vegetarian option and you wanted fish. The second situation is like being upset because the only food available is food for purchase.

3) Still rude. Still insulting. The only way that the designer dress plays into my thoughts is to accentuate how much of an attention whore the bride is. A cash bar is rude. No further explanation required. A cash bar with a designer dress tells me that you're rude and you're an attention whore. I suppose I would be slightly more insulted, too, because you've effectively communicated that you care more about your attire than my comfort.

NYCBruin · December 2013

clairekundinger said:

I am not trying to be an ass hat here, and I know this whole subject is a "bang head here" subject but I honestly don't see the difference in offering just beer and wine paid or offering beer and wine paid plus a cash bar. I'm not a beer or wine drinker! I'm not even a cheap rail booze drinker. I would never expect someone else to provide me with grey goose all night long.... But I feel left out when all there is to drink is beer and wine and rail drinks. I would much prefer a cash bar over that. And yeah people always want to drink for free (free is way better) but I'm a fan of options. As an adult I can decide whether to purchase a drink at a wedding or not. As for people taking back their gifts to pay for the bar, I wasn't expecting gifts anyway. I don't invite people for gifts and if someone would rather get shit tanked than give me a weddig gift, I'd never think of complaining.

The difference is that the guest has the option to pay for something. It's pretty simple. Doesn't matter whether the guest can choose to not purchase it or not.

[Deleted User] · December 2013

PDKH said:

clairekundinger said:

I am not trying to be an ass hat here, and I know this whole subject is a "bang head here" subject but I honestly don't see the difference in offering just beer and wine paid or offering beer and wine paid plus a cash bar. I'm not a beer or wine drinker! I'm not even a cheap rail booze drinker. I would never expect someone else to provide me with grey goose all night long.... But I feel left out when all there is to drink is beer and wine and rail drinks. I would much prefer a cash bar over that. And yeah people always want to drink for free (free is way better) but I'm a fan of options. As an adult I can decide whether to purchase a drink at a wedding or not.

As for people taking back their gifts to pay for the bar, I wasn't expecting gifts anyway. I don't invite people for gifts and if someone would rather get shit tanked than give me a weddig gift, I'd never think of complaining.

So you expect that your host should make Grey Goose available for you to buy because you're picky about liquor?

Yes that's exactly what I said and how I said it. Thank you for pointing that out for me

PrettyGirlLost · December 2013

clairekundinger said:

clairekundinger said:

I am not trying to be an ass hat here, and I know this whole subject is a "bang head here" subject but I honestly don't see the difference in offering just beer and wine paid or offering beer and wine paid plus a cash bar. I'm not a beer or wine drinker! I'm not even a cheap rail booze drinker. I would never expect someone else to provide me with grey goose all night long.... But I feel left out when all there is to drink is beer and wine and rail drinks. I would much prefer a cash bar over that. And yeah people always want to drink for free (free is way better) but I'm a fan of options. As an adult I can decide whether to purchase a drink at a wedding or not. As for people taking back their gifts to pay for the bar, I wasn't expecting gifts anyway. I don't invite people for gifts and if someone would rather get shit tanked than give me a weddig gift, I'd never think of complaining.

So you expect that your host should make Grey Goose available for you to buy because you're picky about liquor?
Yes that's exactly what I said and how I said it. Thank you for pointing that out for me

So what do you do when you are at a limited hosted reception with no top shelf liquor?

[Deleted User] · December 2013

NYCBruin said:

clairekundinger said:

1) saying that if guests want a cash bar that it's their problem is not caring about your guest. A lot of people would rather have a cash bar than no bar.

2) if the beer and wine were free and that was all there was, a person who didn't drink that would be sober around drunk people while as a partially hosted bar with beer and wine and then a cash option would allow you the same kind of options if you didn't want to pay for drinks and an option to have something you like drinking if you want.

3) if a bride isn't in a designer dress and the couple spends 90% of their budget on trying to feed and drink and host their guests and still have only a partially hosted bar... Is that as insulting? Do you judge them as much?

1) If you care so much about pleasing your guests, then pay for an open bar. Everyone would prefer an open bar over a cash bar. So if you're "not caring about your guests" by not giving them the option to drink, then by your logic anyone who doesn't have a full top-shelf open bar doesn't care about your guests. This simply isn't true.

2) Someone being upset that their first choice of drink isn't available and is therefore sober is very different than someone being sober because they didn't bring cash. The first situation is like being upset because there was only a chicken, beef and vegetarian option and you wanted fish. The second situation is like being upset because the only food available is food for purchase.

3) Still rude. Still insulting. The only way that the designer dress plays into my thoughts is to accentuate how much of an attention whore the bride is. A cash bar is rude. No further explanation required. A cash bar with a designer dress tells me that you're rude and you're an attention whore. I suppose I would be slightly more insulted, too, because you've effectively communicated that you care more about your attire than my comfort.

You got me with the buy your food option kind of. I would be out off by a beef chicken or upgrade for a small fee option. I would honestly probably say a lot of words in my head if I had to pay for dinner and that was my only option. I see how when it is turned into food it feels different but I think booze is different.

I'm really trying to properly host everyone and I believe I will because that is important to me, however it's is not important to FI. We live in a weird area for drinking and Neither of is have ever been to a wedding without a cash bar, and when taking a survey of my friends and family only a few of them have been to an open bar wedding and only one that was in our area. No one I know talks bad about cash bars. I've never been to a wedding where it was looked down on. I've never heard a real life snide comment about it. I'm talking about people who would tell me or would gossip about it and weddings that weren't mine where it wouldn't be horrible to tell me bad things about it. And (I know I started a sentence with and) I honestly would rather have a cash bar than a closed bar or limited bar as a guest.

jdluvr06 · December 2013

@clairekundinger I've never been to wedding without a cash bar and neither have most of my friends or family. Actually some of my friends have requested that we have a cash bar so they can have hard liquor because all we're offering is wine, beer, and an absinthe cocktail. I wasn't sure at first but the more people I talk to in real life the more comfortable I feel having the cash bar. Most people I've asked have said they don't mind cash bars and even understand why people have them.

Jen4948 · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:

@clairekundinger I've never been to wedding without a cash bar and neither have most of my friends or family. Actually some of my friends have requested that we have a cash bar so they can have hard liquor because all we're offering is wine, beer, and an absinthe cocktail. I wasn't sure at first but the more people I talk to in real life the more comfortable I feel having the cash bar. Most people I've asked have said they don't mind cash bars and even understand why people have them.

Then most people you know are not following etiquette.

Sorry, but it is not polite to expect to sell drinks at your wedding simply because you don't want to pay for them and your guests are not polite enough to accept what you can afford to offer.

Let me repeat that: It's just as rude for your guests to expect liquor, paid for or not, as it is for you to only offer it for sale. Either offer it for free or not at all-it doesn't matter whether or not you or your friends have seen a wedding without it. The fact that you haven't just means that at all the weddings you've been to, the hosts were rude to provide it for sale. And you're being "more and more comfortable" with it means that you're "more and more comfortable" with being rude to your guests.

jdluvr06 · December 2013

Well, maybe I feel and my friends and family feel that some rules of etiquette are over rated and maybe a little outdated. Honestly when are people going to realize that some of these etiquette rules are really arbitrary? Things change, including "rules" of etiquette. Maybe it is time to change things.

JCbride2015 · December 2013

My issue with cash bars is that you are drawing a line between your guests between who can afford to drink what is offered for purchase, and who cannot. Your wedding should not be a place where a guest has to watch other guests drink something she wants, just because she did not bring cash or cannot afford the cash bar.

Please do not rely on talking to people in person to determine whether they think a cash bar is rude. If your loved ones know you are considering it, they will be polite to you. And I am guessing you can't literally ask every single invitee. Chances are, even if some people are not offended, some people will be. Why would you want to make even one guest uncomfortable?

I don't think this is an issue for tradition or regional quirks. I think cash bars are always rude.

Jen4948 · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:

Well, maybe I feel and my friends and family feel that some rules of etiquette are over rated and maybe a little outdated. Honestly when are people going to realize that some of these etiquette rules are really arbitrary? Things change, including "rules" of etiquette. Maybe it is time to change things.

The rule about not making your guests pay for anything at your wedding is not overrated or outdated. It has not and will not change. There is no acceptable justification for cash bars and there never will be any acceptable justification for them.

jdluvr06 · December 2013

Jen there will never be an acceptable justification for you. That doesn't mean that wouldn't be for others. It is an individual thing and after looking at many things online and talking to many people about it in real life I'm inclined to think that in general it is becoming more acceptable.

Jen4948 · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:

Jen there will never be an acceptable justification for you. That doesn't mean that wouldn't be for others. It is an individual thing and after looking at many things online and talking to many people about it in real life I'm inclined to think that in general it is becoming more acceptable.

The first bold is right, and NO, it is NOT an "individual thing." Etiquette is not an "individual thing." It applies to EVERYONE.

It is flat-out rude to expect your guests to pay for anything at your wedding-whether that's drinks, parking, or anything else. Either you provide it at your own expense, or not at all. It is not becoming "more acceptable." The people you talk to are not good judges of etiquette. And YES, this is "real life." Cut the crap and stop talking to the people you talk to to try to justify it. It's not justifiable.

NYCBruin · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:
Well, maybe I feel and my friends and family feel that some rules of etiquette are over rated and maybe a little outdated. Honestly when are people going to realize that some of these etiquette rules are really arbitrary? Things change, including "rules" of etiquette. Maybe it is time to change things.

Certain etiquette rules are updated to reflect changing times and new technology. Some of the rules surrounding invitations reflect this. But it will never be outdated to follow the core of etiquette which is to consider your guests comfort. No matter what year it is, it will always be rude for a host to ask or invite his or her guests to open their wallets for any reason.

jdluvr06 · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:

Jen there will never be an acceptable justification for you. That doesn't mean that wouldn't be for others. It is an individual thing and after looking at many things online and talking to many people about it in real life I'm inclined to think that in general it is becoming more acceptable.

The first bold is right, and NO, it is NOT an "individual thing." Etiquette is not an "individual thing." It applies to EVERYONE.

It is flat-out rude to expect your guests to pay for anything at your wedding-whether that's drinks, parking, or anything else. Either you provide it at your own expense, or not at all. It is not becoming "more acceptable." The people you talk to are not good judges of etiquette. And YES, this is "real life." Cut the crap and stop talking to the people you talk to to try to justify it. It's not justifiable.

So you want me to stop talking to my closest friends, my relatives, and my co-workers to get their opinion on something my guest have asked for? I thought being a good host involved being accommodating? So how is rude to offer guest an offer they are asking for? After talking to people I'm either going to have the cash bar so people can choose to buy what I can't afford (and it is a choice to buy alcohol from the cash bar, no one is making them do it) or tell people they can bring a bottle of whatever they want to the reception.

Jen4948 · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:

jdluvr06 said:

Jen there will never be an acceptable justification for you. That doesn't mean that wouldn't be for others. It is an individual thing and after looking at many things online and talking to many people about it in real life I'm inclined to think that in general it is becoming more acceptable.

The first bold is right, and NO, it is NOT an "individual thing." Etiquette is not an "individual thing." It applies to EVERYONE.

It is flat-out rude to expect your guests to pay for anything at your wedding-whether that's drinks, parking, or anything else. Either you provide it at your own expense, or not at all. It is not becoming "more acceptable." The people you talk to are not good judges of etiquette. And YES, this is "real life." Cut the crap and stop talking to the people you talk to to try to justify it. It's not justifiable.
So you want me to stop talking to my closest friends, my relatives, and my co-workers to get their opinion on something my guest have asked for? I thought being a good host involved being accommodating?

Given that they're giving you bad and incorrect information, yes! Being a good host does involve being accommodating, but you are misinterpreting the word. Being accommodating does not mean passing on any of the costs of your occasion to your guests-and it does not mean providing something that you are not paying for, just because they want it. It means providing everything at your cost only.

So how is rude to offer guest an offer they are asking for?

It's very rude-on both your parts. They have no business asking for it. They should accept what you provide for them for free without expecting anything else or being critical of you for not providing it, even if they are willing to pay for it. That's called being a good guest.

After talking to people I'm either going to have the cash bar so people can choose to buy what I can't afford (and it is a choice to buy alcohol from the cash bar, no one is making them do it) or tell people they can bring a bottle of whatever they want to the reception.

Both these options are very rude. They have to accept whatever you choose to provide-at your cost. They are not entitled to alcohol. They are entitled not to have to pay for anything you provide. If you offer either of these options you are being a bad hostess and they are being bad guests. It doesn't matter whether they want the alcohol or not or whether or not they're willing to pay for it-if you're not willing to pay for it in full, you need not to provide it, and they need to accept that. To do otherwise on either of your parts is completely rude. End of story!

JCbride2015 · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:

jdluvr06 said:

Jen there will never be an acceptable justification for you. That doesn't mean that wouldn't be for others. It is an individual thing and after looking at many things online and talking to many people about it in real life I'm inclined to think that in general it is becoming more acceptable.

The first bold is right, and NO, it is NOT an "individual thing." Etiquette is not an "individual thing." It applies to EVERYONE.

It is flat-out rude to expect your guests to pay for anything at your wedding-whether that's drinks, parking, or anything else. Either you provide it at your own expense, or not at all. It is not becoming "more acceptable." The people you talk to are not good judges of etiquette. And YES, this is "real life." Cut the crap and stop talking to the people you talk to to try to justify it. It's not justifiable.
So you want me to stop talking to my closest friends, my relatives, and my co-workers to get their opinion on something my guest have asked for? I thought being a good host involved being accommodating? So how is rude to offer guest an offer they are asking for? After talking to people I'm either going to have the cash bar so people can choose to buy what I can't afford (and it is a choice to buy alcohol from the cash bar, no one is making them do it) or tell people they can bring a bottle of whatever they want to the reception.

Here's the thing about this-- it is rude of your guests to say that what you can afford to provide isn't good enough. I just don't understand who would need a particular type of hard liquor so badly they would bring a flask or bottle to a wedding, and/or tell the bride to her face that what she can afford isn't satisfactory. It would be like if I invited you over my house and served chicken, and you said, "But I wanted surf and turf. How about I just run out to the store?" Sure, that's what the guest wants. But it's still rude.

And I stand by my earlier comment: people will be polite to your face, not honest. And somebody is going to be offended, even if this particular group of hard-drinking friends will not be offended.

NYCBruin · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:

jdluvr06 said:

Jen there will never be an acceptable justification for you. That doesn't mean that wouldn't be for others. It is an individual thing and after looking at many things online and talking to many people about it in real life I'm inclined to think that in general it is becoming more acceptable.

The first bold is right, and NO, it is NOT an "individual thing." Etiquette is not an "individual thing." It applies to EVERYONE.

It is flat-out rude to expect your guests to pay for anything at your wedding-whether that's drinks, parking, or anything else. Either you provide it at your own expense, or not at all. It is not becoming "more acceptable." The people you talk to are not good judges of etiquette. And YES, this is "real life." Cut the crap and stop talking to the people you talk to to try to justify it. It's not justifiable.
So you want me to stop talking to my closest friends, my relatives, and my co-workers to get their opinion on something my guest have asked for? I thought being a good host involved being accommodating? So how is rude to offer guest an offer they are asking for? After talking to people I'm either going to have the cash bar so people can choose to buy what I can't afford (and it is a choice to buy alcohol from the cash bar, no one is making them do it) or tell people they can bring a bottle of whatever they want to the reception.

I don't know why people get so dense about alcohol.

If your friends were saying

Guest: "you know what would be awesome, if you had a photobooth"

You: "yeah, they're really fun, but it's out of budget"

Guest: "well, what if you charged people for it so you saved money!"

You wouldn't choose to have a pay-for photobooth. Look, there are a ton of things I enjoy at weddings that not everyone can afford (booze, fancy food, photobooths, fancy cakes, late night snacks, band instead of DJ, etc). Just because guests would prefer that these things were there doesn't make it ok to have them pay for it.

You want to accommodate your friends who want booze, then find a way to pay for it. That's the only way to truly accommodate them. If you can't afford it (or anything else), then DON'T HAVE IT.

aurorajanette · December 2013

I don't get what people aren't getting about cash bars/partial cash bars being rude.

Think of it this way:

Your friends invite you over for dinner. When you get to their house, they say "You can have a glass of wine with dinner... if you pay me $6/glass" or "You can have a beer or glass of wine on us, but if you want liquor, you need to pay us $8 to mix a drink for you". You'd be appalled at their rudeness (don't say you wouldn't), and you would be pissed off at being treated that way. If your friends can't afford expensive wine at their home and have a box of Franzia in the fridge, you don't say, "Wow, how about I pay you to give me some of your more expensive booze?" You either take a glass of Franzia or you drink water/soda/juice. There is no difference between this and a wedding. Both are hosted events where the couple should offer options that they can afford at no cost to the guests. Guests should appreciate what is being given to them for free by their hosts.

LakeR2014 · December 2013

@jdluvr06 Think of it this way as an example:

Your the host. You're hosting a party for your closest friends and family, that you're incredibly excited about and can't wait to share with them. You're hosting it at your house. You've provided them with appetizers, chicken, beef, and veggie dishes. Some guests come to you and ask for a drink, specifically a Vodka Cranberry. You kindly make said drink and before handing it to them you state, 'That'll be $9.00."

This is what having a cash bar at a wedding is. You've just moved the party from your home to a reception area, however YOU are still the host and must host your friend properly. If you don't have alcohol at your house or can't afford it that's fine, when they ask for Vodka say you're all out of it but have a great selection of juices and soda. Or if you only have beer and wine available, let them know you have a great Pinot Grigio they should try.

If you would not charge them for something in YOUR HOME, don't charge them for it at your reception.

LakeR2014 · December 2013

@aurorajanette Lol, great minds think a like.

delujm0 · December 2013

PDKH said:

clairekundinger said:

I am not trying to be an ass hat here, and I know this whole subject is a "bang head here" subject but I honestly don't see the difference in offering just beer and wine paid or offering beer and wine paid plus a cash bar. I'm not a beer or wine drinker! I'm not even a cheap rail booze drinker. I would never expect someone else to provide me with grey goose all night long.... But I feel left out when all there is to drink is beer and wine and rail drinks. I would much prefer a cash bar over that. And yeah people always want to drink for free (free is way better) but I'm a fan of options. As an adult I can decide whether to purchase a drink at a wedding or not. As for people taking back their gifts to pay for the bar, I wasn't expecting gifts anyway. I don't invite people for gifts and if someone would rather get shit tanked than give me a weddig gift, I'd never think of complaining.
So you expect that your host should make Grey Goose available for you to buy because you're picky about liquor?

Agree, this is a ridiculous point. I don't eat red meat or seafood. Sometimes when I go to weddings, there are no meal options and all I get is a plate with a steak and a crabcake on it. I don't demand that the Bride and Groom have a food truck available outside so that I can buy my own dinner. I just eat the veggies and a bunch of dessert. Sometimes I stop at McDonalds on the way home. It's not the bride and groom's fault that i'm picky (though to be fair, a head's up on the invitation or the offer of a vegetarian meal would have been greatly appreciated by me. My FI totally loved eating 2 steaks and 2 crab cakes though).

hihihiii · December 2013

I went to a wedding recently that only hosted two kinds of beer--and the good kind ran out immediately so we were stuck with Bud Light or something for the rest of the night. Most people were drinking wine, so I assumed that at least standard house wine was hosted during the cocktail hour, and was super embarrassed when I had to run back to my seat to get money to pay.

It wasn't an extravagant wedding overall so I felt bad being judgey--but I was still judgey. I'd flown across the country, paid for multiple nights in a hotel, bought a gift, etc. I was not the only guest who felt this way.

I'd never, ever say anything to the bride about it, though. Honestly, I think she hadn't attended a lot of weddings and was probably told by family or the venue that a cash bar was the norm. But it is a good reminder, as the OP notes: people probably ARE talking behind your back.

lyndausvi · December 2013

It really saddens me that people are starting to think cash bar are acceptable. Once it becomes the norm people will start charging for food or the photobooth or whatever.

When I read TK I get a feeling that proper hosting is slowly dying off. It makes me sad. Luckily it's going strong in my social group and being instilled in our next generation.

NYCBruin · December 2013

lyndausvi said:

It really saddens me that people are starting to think cash bar are acceptable. Once it becomes the norm people will start charging for food or the photobooth or whatever.

When I read TK I get a feeling that proper hosting is slowly dying off. It makes me sad. Luckily it's going strong in my social group and being instilled in our next generation.

TK makes me fear for the future of proper hosting. Although I will say that I hadn't heard of 99% of the rude things I read on here before coming here. I'm fairly certain anyone I know would die of shock if they went to a wedding with a cash bar. It's just not something that would even occur to them as a possibility. Maybe the people who still know what proper hosting entails just don't find themselves on these forums.

PrettyGirlLost · December 2013

lyndausvi said:

It really saddens me that people are starting to think cash bar are acceptable. Once it becomes the norm people will start charging for food or the photobooth or whatever.

When I read TK I get a feeling that proper hosting is slowly dying off. It makes me sad. Luckily it's going strong in my social group and being instilled in our next generation.

In the case of the 1st bolded, don't expect me to go quietly into the night.

Bride to Be: "I'm going to have a cash bar."
Me: "Wow, that is tacky and rude as fuck."
Bride to Be: "OMG you are so rude and mean."
Me: "Nope, I just don't feel like blowing smoke up your ass about a bad idea. Thanks for the heads up though so I can bring my flask!"

Same here on the second.

lyndausvi · December 2013

NYCBruin said:

lyndausvi said:

It really saddens me that people are starting to think cash bar are acceptable. Once it becomes the norm people will start charging for food or the photobooth or whatever.

When I read TK I get a feeling that proper hosting is slowly dying off. It makes me sad. Luckily it's going strong in my social group and being instilled in our next generation.

TK makes me fear for the future of proper hosting. Although I will say that I hadn't heard of 99% of the rude things I read on here before coming here. I'm fairly certain anyone I know would die of shock if they went to a wedding with a cash bar. It's just not something that would even occur to them as a possibility. Maybe the people who still know what proper hosting entails just don't find themselves on these forums.

You maybe right. According to TK everyone in the mid-west has cash bars. We moved here expecting cash bars. DH has done at least 1 wedding every weekend this year. Only one has been a cash bar. A lot were beer and wine only, but they didn't charge for liquor.

NYCBruin · December 2013

lyndausvi said:

NYCBruin said:

lyndausvi said:

It really saddens me that people are starting to think cash bar are acceptable. Once it becomes the norm people will start charging for food or the photobooth or whatever.

When I read TK I get a feeling that proper hosting is slowly dying off. It makes me sad. Luckily it's going strong in my social group and being instilled in our next generation.

TK makes me fear for the future of proper hosting. Although I will say that I hadn't heard of 99% of the rude things I read on here before coming here. I'm fairly certain anyone I know would die of shock if they went to a wedding with a cash bar. It's just not something that would even occur to them as a possibility. Maybe the people who still know what proper hosting entails just don't find themselves on these forums.

You maybe right. According to TK everyone in the mid-west has cash bars. We moved here expecting cash bars. DH has done at least 1 wedding every weekend this year. Only one has been a cash bar. A lot were beer and wine only, but they didn't charge for liquor.

Yup. Between FI and I we have been to weddings in every part of the country outside of the South and have never experienced a cash bar, dollar dance, etc. I have a ton of family in the midwest, and none of them have ever been to a wedding with a cash bar and only one wedding with a dollar dance (and everyone was so shocked and horrified it was a topic of discussion for quite some time).

Cash Bar vs. Open Bar - What Your Friends Are Saying

Re: Cash Bar vs. Open Bar - What Your Friends Are Saying

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