My parents have been divorced for about 13 years. Divorce was final in March of that year, dad remarried 2 months later (primary reason for the divorce), my first wedding was 2 months after that. That was a stressful time and I don't remember if dad's wife wore flowers at my first wedding or not. My mom paid for the flowers that time, so I'm guessing his wife didn't have them:)
I'm now getting remarried and trying to keep things very simple and inexpensive. I mentioned to my mom that I wasn't doing any flowers except a small bouquet for me and a little bouquet for my daughter (Flower girl). My FMIL doesn't care, but my mom immediately stated "I get flowers." I wouldn't care that much and would happily just get her and FMIL corsages, but then what do I do with my dad's wife? Of course mom thinks dad's wife shouldn't get flowers since she's not the MOB, but my Dad is going to think his wife should get flowers if my mom has them.
agh! This was a piece of why I want to skip other flowers. Any advice? I'm really close to my mom & preserving our relationship is obviously very important but I don't want a fight with dad either. In case it matters, FH and I are paying for everything ourselves.
Re: corsages, mom, and dad's wife...
If you give them to your mom, you should give them to your FMIL, too. At that point, you could just have done with it and not give any other parents/stepparents/grandparents flowers.
If, however, you think your father will demand them for his wife, and you don't want to fight, tell your mother that if she gets flowers, your SM does, too.
I think it comes down to which parent you're willing to go to war with and which hill you're willing to die on.
FTR, we did flowers for my parents (still married), DH's grandmother (who hates me), our two readers, our cantor, the GMs, and my friend who acted as co-ordinator. We did not do flowers for DH's parents (a) because they weren't initially invited and (b) because they didn't raise DH, his grandmother did. No one asked or cared.