FI's furbaby vent

melbelleup · January 2014

rwhite0123 said:

rwhite0123 said:

I suggest getting a trainer to come to the house to have (for a lack of a better verse) "come to Jesus' moment on the subject for your husband. Sometimes a 3rd party opinion gets through to people.

Then there is the other issue with your husband not consulting you on something that clearly effects you. That would piss me off to no end. Seriously, had my husband showed up with a dog without telling me there would be hell to pay. Have to wonder if that is part of the problem on why you hate the dog? You might resent the dog because your husband didn't consulting you in the first place.

Sorry he didn't show up with the dog, he showed up with all the supplies and his new collar and told me he had already paid the deposit and that we were getting a dog. We drive 5.5 hours to get him 3 weeks later.

Essentially the same thing in my book. HE made the decision without consulting you. Pretty shitty in my book.

My DH always wanted a dog and I knew that. I like dogs also, so not a problem. However TOGETHER we found a dog, TOGETHER we picked out the right dog for our personality.

Right now I want another dog. It would be great for Chef to have a sibling. However, I would NEVER go get him without consulting him. It think would be disrespectful.

It seems like you are more overwhelmed then really hate the dog. Good luck with training. We found out that WE were the ones being trained and not really he dog. Ha.
We also talked about getting a dog, I've personally wanted a Yorkie for about as long as I can remember. Or a smaller lap dog. We agreed a tiny dog like that would have to come later when our son wasn't so little and wouldn't hurt it. He on the other hand likes big dogs (his dream dog is a Great Dane) so we talked about getting one a few years down the road. He started looking up breeds that are great with kids families and found the Vizsla. Only trouble with them is that they are hard to find, crazy expensive, and usually breeders won't talk to you unless you do hunting shows or the other dog shows (not sure what they're called) he started looking up breeders and found most have a couple litter waiting list and usually takes a few years. We found a guy that lives in our state and started talking to him. He contacted my husband and said someone who had claimed one of the puppies backed and asked if he was interested that he wasn't planning on anymore litters after this one. So husband said ok and thought I would be ok/happy about it since we had said yes, in the future. Now we have Zeek.

Yuck. Just sounds like bad timing. That's why I'm pretty sure we're not going to have another dog until after a kid. This way, Ruutu will be 4-5 when we have a kid. then when Ruu is 9-10 we'll get another one and our kid would be 5. Ruutu is used to being around my 2 yr old nephew though with no issues. I just think it depends on the dog's personality and their needs since each dog needs something different.

Drewsgirl31 · January 2014

Sorry for jumping all over the place, I'm using my phone and quotes/replies aren't working right. At least not that I can see this way. I agree it wasn't right for him to not consult me but it's been discussed and done. It Was the first and last time he's ever done it and he really did think I would be surprised and happy about it since we had already said we would get a dog at some point.

Do you know if some schools or obedience places offer both? Then I can do the classes and have him come here? Right now we're booked for the ones they offer at pet smart but I would be willing to change places if they offered something like that.

They are expensive but we use a clinic so I've been told we pay them a lot less than a vet my SIL takes their dogs to. His heart worm is like $18 a month I think and prescriptions are usually only $10 as well.

We're putting a fence in as soon as it gets warmer and I can't wait. It will definitely be easier for him to burn off energy. Right now he runs laps through the house and bounces off the couch. He almost brought our Christmas tree down a few times doing this because it was where the couch usually is

Drewsgirl31 · January 2014

Vizslas are a Hungarian pointing dog part of the
Weimaraner family, they call them Velcro dogs because they like to be on or as close to their humans as possible (I KNOW this is part of the issue with my limited time). They're very smart and full of energy even more so as a regular puppy. And yes it was full of bad timing. He was afraid if we didn't get him from this breeder we wouldn't find another one who would sell us one since we're not in any types of shows. Kinda a now or never type thing I guess you could call it

jdluvr06 · January 2014

I know after all the things in this thread that this is an odd thing to point out but honestly I can't believe people still buy from breeders. There are so many dogs and cats in shelters that need a good loving home.

Drewsgirl31 · January 2014

He wouldn't do a shelter animal after the cat we got clawed my daughter . He didn't want to take the chance of getting a pup and it having a trigger and hurting one of the kids, but I do know what you're saying and am thankful for the people that do foster, adopt and help shelter animals. One of my teachers from high school posts at least 10 animals a day from our local shelters that have their last day before the place puts them down.

melbelleup · January 2014

Vizslas are a Hungarian pointing dog part of the Weimaraner family, they call them Velcro dogs because they like to be on or as close to their humans as possible (I KNOW this is part of the issue with my limited time). They're very smart and full of energy even more so as a regular puppy. And yes it was full of bad timing. He was afraid if we didn't get him from this breeder we wouldn't find another one who would sell us one since we're not in any types of shows. Kinda a now or never type thing I guess you could call it

He does have a point. I know people who show them in conformation. Once you get the fence up I bet you'll think different. Fences help bunches!

MairePoppy · January 2014

jdluvr06 said:

I know after all the things in this thread that this is an odd thing to point out but honestly I can't believe people still buy from breeders. There are so many dogs and cats in shelters that need a good loving home.

There is nothing wrong with buying a purebred dog from a responsible dog breeder. Some of us are breed fanciers. I love basset hounds and have purchased three from a reputable breeder. We don't discriminate, though. We have a dog that was rescued from a dog pound on the day she was going to be euthanized. She has some behavioral problems that we are working on. We will adopt again and purchase again, in the future. We also support our local humane society, as well as Fidelco, an organization that breeds, trains and donates guide dogs for the vision impaired and donate pet food to our local food pantry to help owners who are having difficulty feeding their pets. We are a responsible dog family.

melbelleup · January 2014

jdluvr06 said:

I know after all the things in this thread that this is an odd thing to point out but honestly I can't believe people still buy from breeders. There are so many dogs and cats in shelters that need a good loving home.

People have a choice to get from shelter or breeder. With getting a dog from the breeder you know what you're getting into. The dog has a fresh slate, no abuse or neglect issues. No training, so you can shape them into what you want. There may be dogs and cats that need loving homes because their previous owners sucked; however, people get to choose what they want. Although I would never own a rescue animal, it doesn't mean there aren't people out there completely against breeders. If the breeders are good breeders the dogs they breed and sell will never ever live a day in a shelter. To me, that's a good thing. What's so wrong with wanting to know the dog's parents, grandparents, the health issues in the lines etc etc. Plus I show, I wouldn't want a dog that is afraid of loud noises or people where I couldn't do Agility anymore. That being said, the dog has to be AKC which means the dog's parents have to also be AKC in order for me to show it. Once again, making shelter dogs undesirable to me. Do I donate to shelters? Yes. Do I play with animals in shelters? Yes. Just because I don't adopt a shelter animal doesn't mean I don't care about them.

PolarBearFitz · January 2014

I never look down upon someone for selecting a breeder over a rescue. I went the rescue route but I was single, childless, and had the time to dedicate. Not everyone has the kind of journey in their life where they can deal with the unexpected that sometimes is present in shelter animals. Getting a dog from a licensed and caring breeder is perfectly acceptable. I think anyone who invites an animal into a loving home is great.

I know this is a drastic comparison but: There are children that need adoption in all parts of the world but you don't look down on people who choose to have a baby instead do you?

MairePoppy · January 2014

@rwhite - my apologies. The last page of posts were not up when I posted my remark. I was angry that you said you hated and ignored your dog. I've read the follow up and realize you were speaking out of frustration and your husband forced the dog on you.

My husband also surprised me with a dog when my second child was born. I had a toddler, a fussy baby, a husband who worked long hours and a very large, untrained, energetic puppy that demanded a lot of attention that I couldn't give her. She would poop in the house every time I nursed fuss budget or she'd raid the diaper pail, the garbage etc...We realized that the situation was unfair to the dog, so we found a nice home for her with an older childless couple, who doted on her. We were all sad about giving her up, but morally, we felt it was our duty to put her in the best possible situation. It just wasn't fair to the dog.

jdluvr06 · January 2014

We have not had the best experience with breeders. My family is full of animal lovers. My mom used to shelter rescue cats through a local organization, they also rescued dogs. They had several instances where they would swoop in and help our local animal control after they've busted horrible breeders. Some of these breeders had great reputations and were able to hide behind that for years. I would never adopt from a breeder, even one that seemed reputable because in the grand scheme of things you just never know. I guess I've just seen the dark side of it so much that I don't trust the industry.

firebabe6519 · January 2014

@MariePoppy I'll have to try the clicker thing.

I usually avoid breeders too. I used to volunteer at a local shelter and always felt too guilty to buy a purebred. FI's dog is a purebred American bulldog. He got him for basically nothing (just the cost of his shots) because the breeder was going to put the dog down because of his coat color. I guess registered American bulldogs aren't supposed to throw black pups. Idk...

MairePoppy · January 2014

Clicker training is fun for the human and the dog. If you want to see how it works, there are some good videos on YouTube.

Before you start, the first step is getting the dog to associate the click sound with his favorite tiny treat. You need lots of teeny, tiny treats. Click, treat, click treat, click, treat. You can do it while you watch TV. Do it about three thousand times in a week : ) When the dog starts to expect the treat after you click, you can pick a simple trick, like getting him to make eye contact when you say his name. Name, eye contact, click, treat. Your dog really does want to please you, his pack leader, if only he could understand what you expect of him. Classes are great, because you'll have an experienced trainer there to asses your communication skills and technique.

Jessa617 · January 2014

Another thing with getting animals from breeders... if everyone went to shelters for their pets, then all the purebreds are left without a home.

I actually got my cat from a breeder because my husband is allergic to cats. I looked for a hairless in shelters, but no luck there. I honestly think it's the best decision we made. Our kitty is just perfect.

Like PPs have mentioned, there are people that are just really into a certain breed and sometimes you can't get purebreds at a shelter. Different dogs have different traits that fit different people/families. Also if you plan on showing your animal, you have to get it from a breeder.

MairePoppy · January 2014

@Jessa617 how is your husband doing with the hairless cat? My mom and dad have a cat. Dad is allergic and has COPD. But they love the cat. I'm thinking ahead and wondering if a nice daughter should track down a hairless baby for their next pet.

ETA - I'd love to see a picture of your baby.

Jessa617 · January 2014

@MairePoppy he is actually doing surprisingly good. It's funny because I was talking to someone else about getting a hairless because of his allergies and they were like "Good luck with that! Sometimes they can make allergies worse!". I chalk it up as luck that he's not allergic. Theoretically it would be ideal for someone that was allergic because the allergens are in the proteins of their saliva. They have no hair that sheds and spreads the allergens. I also read up that females produce less of the protein and lighter skinned cats produce even less of it so we got a white female.

QueerFemme · January 2014

I haven't read all of the replies. I couldn't get past you saying you spanked your dog. You need to learn how to properly train and discipline a dog before you are allowed to be alone with an animal.

princessleia22 · January 2014

You definitely need to do some dog training. There is nothing productive that comes from hitting a dog or rubbing their noses in their mess. These are horrible tactics that are used too often but do nothing to solve the issue.

If it is new to the home, it is probably trying to mark its territory. First off, make sure you are taking the dog out often enough. And make sure they are getting enough exercise and activity. Those are often the biggest reasons they pee in the house. The best thing you can do when you catch it in the act (doing anything later won't teach them, you need to catch them in the act) is tell them "no" in firm voice then take them out side and show them the correct spot to do it. The other thing I was taught and found great success in is to grab their nose for a second when disciplining them. That is what their canine mothers would do to discipline, so they understand that gesture. And then use a lot of positive reinforcement when they get it right. Positive reinforcement is always more affective than negative. Especially with a dog that craves attention like that, even just petting for good behavior can go a long way.

A couple years ago we rescued a dog that came from an abused home. She never had any discipline or training. She had been an outdoor dog so had never been housebroken. The first few months were hell and a lot of mess. And since she had been previously abused, we didn't want to punish her at all because she was so terrified of any discipline that if we yelled she would go hide under the bed for 2 days straight. So, we found an amazing dog trainer. We started walking her 4 times a day and carrying treats when we went for walks. Every time she went to the bathroom outside she got a treat and we would get crazy with petting her and saying "good girl". You would think we won the lottery or something with as excited as we got for her each time. Within only a couple days the indoor accidents reduced to almost nothing. If she does something wrong and we catch her in the act we will firmly say "no, bad girl" but that is all we need to do. And we may not give her treats every time she pees now, but I do still often say "good girl" when she does. And within a month or two we had housebroken her and taught her to sit, stay, lay down, roll over, and leave it... all without yelling or hitting... just using positive reinforcement. My FI had been trying for 2 years to get those results with his dog, by using hitting and yelling, but wasn't anywhere near as successful. After I got involved, his dog is much better and can do all the same tricks, but can also shake and high five.

MairePoppy · January 2014

@Jessa617 Oh, she's adorable. I've never seen a cat in a sweater. Is the skin care very involved? Thank you for the picture.

BMoreBride6 · January 2014

melbelleup said:

firebabe6519 said:

@lyndausvi The prior misbehaving was the dog taking away a book I was reading and ripping it up. He had just gone for a walk, so I gave him his dinner and sat down to read. But he wanted attention. I tell him no and redirect him to his dinner and go back to my book. Tiny (the dog) then grabbed the book off my lap and started shredding it. I blame the person FI bought him from. Their dogs basically had to act out and misbehave to even be noticed. I was hoping he might grow out of it, but he hasn't so far. Tiny is a total AW. He needs attention 24/7. He has to either be on you or have his paw on you or he acts out. Its not that he doesn't get exercise. He goes for 10 miles of walk time minimum per day and gets tons of love and attention. Its just the second you stop paying attention to him like to use the restroom or take a shower he has to do something bad.

Must be nice to do those things without a dog. I have at least one dog in the bathroom with me at a time. My puppy actually used to hop in the shower with me. No joke. I had to boot him out of my shower numerous times when he was younger. One day I just let him stay and he got soaked. He didn't do it again.

If you can't watch him- cage him. That way he can't act out. Best advice ever given to me. Treat him like a puppy. When you can't give him full attention, put him in a crate where he won't be destroying things.

haha firebabe6519, when we first got my dog she was 10 months. I ran the bath tub to take a much needed hot bath. I went downstairs to grab something, came back up, and she was in the tub. Anytime she hears the water run she wants in. Nope.

firebabe6519 · January 2014

Lol that's awesome! Goofy dog!

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

rwhite0123 said:

Well it's a good thing he's happy right He is not scared of me, he lays at my feet or on the couch of there is room when me and the kids are watching a movie. He has attention ALL DAY long, I have a house full of kids! Yes but he wants the attention of the Alpha of the house, which is you. Animals are very empathic and I'm sure he knows you don't like him. When have you ever seen a kid ignore a dog? Yes I am the one home with him all day 4 days a week, my husband is home 3 days a week and evenings. The dog has plenty of attention just not from me and no, not because I really really really hate him. Because I have 5 kids and a house to take care of too. I pet him when I'm taking his leash on and off when he goes out side, I say good boy and pat him when I feed him but no I don't sit and devote my whole day to playing fetch and cuddling on the couch with him. Maybe ignore was the wrong word to use but when I have a 4 month old, 2 year old, 4 year old, 6 year old and my 9 year old when she get home from school there's not much time to interact with the dog even if I wanted to. It's also not just my decision or dog to get rid of. We weren't supposed to get a dog for another couple years, but he's a rare breed and is hard to get if you're not an avid hunter or into the dog show circuit. All the more reason to give him back to the breeder so he can find someone who will really appreciate this dog. I knew we didn't have the time for a dog especially since it would fall on me to care for him 95% of the time. Then not only do you have a dog issue but you have an FI and a communication issue. If you had absolutely zero desire to be the sole care taker for a dog, you should not have agreed/been guilted into/ been bullied into getting a dog. So your kids wanted a dog? Of course they did, but they are kids and they are going to want a lot of shit throughout their childhoods and they aren't going to get it all. I wanted a pony when I was a child, didn't mean I got one. So your FI wanted a dog, and a puppy no less? That would be a case of the Too Fucking Bads for your FI since he isn't around to put in the time to train and interact with the dog. Only you are and you don't want the dog. Edit: because I meant pet not pay

I'm jumping in late but wanted to comment.

Drewsgirl31 · January 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

rwhite0123 said:

Well it's a good thing he's happy right

He is not scared of me, he lays at my feet or on the couch of there is room when me and the kids are watching a movie. He has attention ALL DAY long, I have a house full of kids! Yes but he wants the attention of the Alpha of the house, which is you. Animals are very empathic and I'm sure he knows you don't like him. When have you ever seen a kid ignore a dog? Yes I am the one home with him all day 4 days a week, my husband is home 3 days a week and evenings. The dog has plenty of attention just not from me and no, not because I really really really hate him. Because I have 5 kids and a house to take care of too. I pet him when I'm taking his leash on and off when he goes out side, I say good boy and pat him when I feed him but no I don't sit and devote my whole day to playing fetch and cuddling on the couch with him. Maybe ignore was the wrong word to use but when I have a 4 month old, 2 year old, 4 year old, 6 year old and my 9 year old when she get home from school there's not much time to interact with the dog even if I wanted to.

It's also not just my decision or dog to get rid of. We weren't supposed to get a dog for another couple years, but he's a rare breed and is hard to get if you're not an avid hunter or into the dog show circuit. All the more reason to give him back to the breeder so he can find someone who will really appreciate this dog. I knew we didn't have the time for a dog especially since it would fall on me to care for him 95% of the time. Then not only do you have a dog issue but you have an FI and a communication issue. If you had absolutely zero desire to be the sole care taker for a dog, you should not have agreed/been guilted into/

been bullied into getting a dog. So your kids wanted a dog? Of course they did, but they are kids and they are going to want a lot of shit throughout their childhoods and they aren't going to get it all. I wanted a pony when I was a child, didn't mean I got one. So your FI wanted a dog, and a puppy no less? That would be a case of the Too Fucking Bads for your FI since he isn't around to put in the time to train and interact with the dog. Only you are and you don't want the dog. Edit: because I meant pet not pay

I'm jumping in late but wanted to comment.

Did you even read the whole thread? Or the ending comments? I'm going with obviously not. We had talked and planned on getting a dog at some point. When we decided on this kind, for in the future, we found the closest reputable breeder and started talking to them when no one else would give us the time of day because we aren't breeders or show-ers (not sure what they are actually called). The breeder contacted my HUSBAND and told him someone had backed out and he wasn't going to be breeding after this one so it was basically now or never. He was trying to surprise me. Our talk/fight happened after he put a deposit on the dog and yes he AND mainly my daughter broke me down into agreeing. She took on the responsibility of cleaning up after him, running off energy out back when she gets home, feeding him and taking him out. My husband is home 1-3 full days a week depending on if he's on mandatory overtime at work and every evening but one when he's at the fire dept but the training and 95% of the care is done by me.

I also explained later that my original comments were made after a long and frustrating day. While I don't care for him like my husband and kids do, I don't hate him, hurt him, and give him attention during the day when I can. I'm all for anyone jumping into a conversation, but make sure you read every single thread before you assume anything and disrespect my husband for no reason.

thejucheidea · January 2014

I have nothing that can be added, so I'm just going to AW our family (which includes three purebred rescues):

Drewsgirl31 · January 2014

thejucheidea said:
I have nothing that can be added, so I'm just going to AW our family (which includes three purebred rescues):

Beautiful family

Jessa617 · January 2014

@MairePoppy sorry for the delayed response! She's still a kitten so during the winter she will need to wear clothes. Once she's an adult she can run naked. Hairless cats are definitely more maintenance than regular cats. She gets a bath and ear cleaning once a week and her nails trimmed 1-2 times a week.She's worth all of the extra work to me.

JCbride2015 · January 2014

@Jessa617 What a cutie!! I have two shorthair cats but have always thought the hairless ones are gorgeous. Fi thinks they're creepy looking.

I think my hairless cat dreams may never come true.

And I'm late to this thread as well, but I'm taking away from this that it's never a good idea to get a dog just for fun or on the spur of the moment. FPILs have two dogs who were acquired for all the wrong reasons, and it shows. The dogs are a nightmare because the humans never invested the time and energy to train them appropriately. Fi and I have wanted a dog for a while, but we're holding off for a couple of months until we have more time and finances to devote to it.

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