Etiquette

Vow Renewal Dress Code

So its our five year anniversary and we are doing a vow renewal. My dress will be lilac and my maid of honor will be wearing dark purple, as is the color theme for the event. What is the best way to put on the reception card/invite that people not wear purple? I dont want to just write "Dont wear purple" cause obviously that seems rude, but I really dont want anyone matching me or my Maid of Honor, its basically the same principle as someone not wearing white to a wedding, only that usually goes unsaid so ugh Im stuck and need help.
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Re: Vow Renewal Dress Code

  • rajahmdrajahmd Galifrey member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Sorry, no can do. It's rude to tell people how to dress. Part of choosing a non - traditional color is risking someone wearing a similar one. What you can do is spread the fact that your dress is purple via word of mouth. Most people will avoid wearing that color if they already know you are wearing it. But you can't put it on your invite, reception card, or even your wedding website.
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    doeydos-aries8990PrettyGirlLostcrunchymamaof2
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Yes, please don't put anything on your invitation, inserts, website, etc. about guests' attire.  There are several threads on here which go into quite a lot of detail about why this is rude and probably won't change what guests will wear anyway.

    Rajah's idea of spreading through word of mouth that you are wearing purple is fine.  Tell your chattiest friends, "I found this purple dress and I'm so excited!"  They will probably spread the word and guests may choose to avoid wearing the same color as you.

    But don't worry, even if somebody shows up in purple, it won't ruin your day.  Everyone will still know you are the wife renewing your vows.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You can't make this request at all.  It's not up to you to decide what other people wear.
    doeydoei34PrettyGirlLost
  • You can not dictate your guests attire. Like pp said if you spread that you are wearing purple word of mouth people should take the hint to not wear it.


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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    You can spread word of mouth that you are wearing purple. I'm sure women will try and stay away from that color. (lets face it, you don't actually mean anyone ,you mean you don't want some bitch to wear the same color).

    Women are just so funny when it comes others wearing the same color.   I wish I was a guy sometimes so I can just wear what I want without wondering if the color I'm wearing is matching someone else.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Just start yammering excitedly to anyone and everyone that you are so excited about your purple dress. That's really the only thing you can do without being rude. 
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • Agree with PPs.  You can't tell people outright not to wear purple, but you can tell your family's chatty Kathy how excited you are about your purple dress. You could also use the color purple on your invites.  Generally, if a bride uses a specific color on her wedding invites, I tend not to wear that color, in case that is a wedding color.  I guess the same thing might happen for a wedding vow renewal?
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    Anniversary


    GlitterWitch22lc07PrettyGirlLost
  • So its our five year anniversary and we are doing a vow renewal. My dress will be lilac and my maid of honor will be wearing dark purple, as is the color theme for the event. What is the best way to put on the reception card/invite that people not wear purple? I dont want to just write "Dont wear purple" cause obviously that seems rude, but I really dont want anyone matching me or my Maid of Honor, its basically the same principle as someone not wearing white to a wedding, only that usually goes unsaid so ugh Im stuck and need help.
    Why so soon, it's only five years....
    I agree why are you having a Maid of Honour? you are not a bride, you are a wife which is awesome in its own right.
    • The term maid of honour is the origin of the American English term maid of honour, usually the best friend of a bride who leads her Bridal Party.
    No, this isn't a wedding it is a renewal of your wedding vows, Its like asking people not to wear black to my birthday party since I am the Birthday girl and it's MY DAY

    MairePoppymelbelleupPrettyGirlLostmrsfinni
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Why are you having a maid of honor for a vow renewal?
    This.  A vow renewal is not a wedding...
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    PrettyGirlLostmrsfinni
  • I'm a bit confused here, why is there a bridal party involved when this is a vow renewal? It should be different than a wedding. I went to a vow renewal once, and I was very confused about whether it was an actual wedding or a renewal. The couple was an older couple and I thought they had always been married... but the entire celebration (ceremony and party were very bridal in form)
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostdoeydomrsfinni
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You don't get to tell anyone how to dress. Suck it up and get over it.

    Not even touching why one would need a MOH if they're already married.
    PrettyGirlLostmrsfinni
  • Don't worry about it. Everyone will still know who you are and if someone else shows up in purple, they will still know who you are. Don't tell your guests what to wear (or not wear). I agree with PP--spread by word of mouth what color you'll be wearing and leave it at that. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • RajahBMFD said:
    Sorry, no can do. It's rude to tell people how to dress. Part of choosing a non - traditional color is risking someone wearing a similar one. What you can do is spread the fact that your dress is purple via word of mouth. Most people will avoid wearing that color if they already know you are wearing it. But you can't put it on your invite, reception card, or even your wedding website.
    @RajahBMFD, sadly this isn't even a wedding...this is a vow renewal (which I have nothing wrong with), but I feel like that makes it enough more silly to expect no one to wear certain colors
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You never tell adults how to dress.

    And since this is a vow renewal having a MOH is inappropriate.

    PrettyGirlLostdoeydomrsfinni
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You can't tell your guests how to dress. So what if someone wears purple? Why is that such a problem? 

    Also, I don't understand why you are having a MOH for a vow renewal. 

    PrettyGirlLostdoeydomrsfinni
  • I don't get the whole vow renewal thing...I mean if you want an aniverssary party then fine have a party, but vow renewals just scream AW to me. 

    OP listen to the previous posters, they are all correct in that you should never tell someone what to wear, instead you can spread your color choice by word of mouth.  Also, why do you have a MOH?

  • Looks like OP may have been a Post-and-Poof
    Come Back OP and tell us why you are having a MOH

    PrettyGirlLost
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Schatzi13 said:
    Is not wearing the same color as the wife even a thing with vow renewals?
    Not as far as I'm concerned.  I'd wear whatever I damn well wanted to.



    PrettyGirlLostpinkshorts27mrsfinni
  • So, 1) I don't understand the MOH either, so please explain that.

    2) Aren't vow renewals supposed to be more like a private event instead of inviting a bunch of people like a wedding?

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited February 2014
    Schatzi13 said:
    Is not wearing the same color as the wife even a thing with vow renewals?
    No, it's not. It would never occur to me that I should figure out what the wife will wear for her vow renewal/anniversary party and avoid that color. I wouldn't remember the color of the invitations when it came time to get dressed. I suppose I might take the hint, if the wife was making a big deal about her PURPLE DRESS, but I'd think she was being self indulgent and silly. 
                       
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  • sofakingmadsofakingmad member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    Wait, what?  Really?  You want to dictate what people wear to your vow renewal?  SMDH

    And an MOH?  LOL.  

    Edited because I'm not a moron.  For realz.  
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  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Wait, what?  Really?  You want to dictate what people where to your vow renewal?  SMDH

    And an MOH?  LOL.  
    WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I MISS YOU
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  • I can't believe I spelled wear wrong.

    Hello @inkdancer.  I'm been really really really really really busy.  Oh and I was on vacation for a week!
    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
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  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Ooh, wish I could be on vacay. Then I would have missed all the newbie drama.
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