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This thread is very old, but I am really glad I found it. I am recently engaged, and in the excitement I completley ran full steam ahead on my wedding planning, without taking a moment to stop and ask my mom what her expectations were and how she'd like to be involved. Instead, I assumed no one would be that happy to take on "tasks" and had the attitude that I'm throwing a party for everyone and I want them to enjoy it! I forgot the central tenet that a wedding is so much more than just a party, and means so much to more people than just the couple.
With my mom, it all came to a head a few days ago, when I mentioned that I had purchased a dress. Without first taking her shopping. She lives far away, she had never once mentioned she was looking forward to dress shopping, and I never even thought about it. Now, in hindsight, I realize how completely wretched that was of me. She still isn't speaking to me, no matter how many times I apologize. I've gone from being blissfully on Cloud 9, thinking of nothing but my lovely wedding, to feeling so, so crappy about myself. Hopefully she'll forgive me soon and we can start working on everything else together! Or better yet, go find another dress!