Snarky Brides

S/O: What is the rudest comment someone has made about your wedding?

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Re: S/O: What is the rudest comment someone has made about your wedding?

  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I have a friend who whenever she gets mad at me, shouts about how much she hates weddings and doesn't like my FI.  She's mentally ill (really) and off her meds right now, and I know its the illness talking, not her.  But it still hurts every time she says it.
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  • From many people who lived in my town:  "You're going to marry Jane's son?  Oh, you poor thing!  I hope you plan on living in another town!"  (My MIL had a reputation for control issues.)
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    Amyzen83tortoisebrideLowell14bnwright0721
  • melbenso said:

    I have a friend who whenever she gets mad at me, shouts about how much she hates weddings and doesn't like my FI.  She's mentally ill (really) and off her meds right now, and I know its the illness talking, not her.  But it still hurts every time she says it.

    Ouch! I'm sorry that your friend puts you through that! Mental illness is difficult because on the one hand they aren't always in control of their words or actions, but if she's off her meds is it out of choice or are her doctors still finding a combination that wrks for her? If she's choosing not to take them then I feel she should hav some accountability for her behavior
  • I've got a few... mostly from my mom:

    - I hope you lose weight before the wedding (and tons of other comments about my weight)
    - What are you going to write for your speech? Who are you going to thank? You better thank us! Me: Of course Her: I don't know... I'll be honest, I don't trust you to write an appropriate speech so you better send it to me to approve first. (I have two degrees... I'm sure FH and I can write a thank you speech).
    - I'm getting a hair trial done to make sure my hair is perfect for the wedding. Me: Oh, should I get one? I don't know if I'll have time (we fly in 5 days before the wedding and that week is packed of stuff already) Her: oh you don't need one, but I need to make sure my hair is perfect. (um... her hair is more important?)
    - She has a bright dress and lots of blingy jewelry to wear for the wedding and I have a fairly simple dress, no veil and simple jewelry. When I commented that she will be more fancy than me, she rolled her eyes and said that it's her day too.

    Sigh...
  • Eh, I haven't had anything too horrible yet. I have been surprised the number of random people who like asking me what our budget is...like seriously? I'm not telling you that shit. 

    My FMIL did feel the need to tell me I was planning a wedding all wrong if I spent more than $7,000. "Anything more than that and you're just throwing your money away on frivolous stuff." But of course I also got told that if we did a small destination wedding that wouldn't be fair to the family who couldn't attend so...
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    erinbethp said:
    I've got a few... mostly from my mom:

    - I hope you lose weight before the wedding (and tons of other comments about my weight)
    - What are you going to write for your speech? Who are you going to thank? You better thank us! Me: Of course Her: I don't know... I'll be honest, I don't trust you to write an appropriate speech so you better send it to me to approve first. (I have two degrees... I'm sure FH and I can write a thank you speech).
    - I'm getting a hair trial done to make sure my hair is perfect for the wedding. Me: Oh, should I get one? I don't know if I'll have time (we fly in 5 days before the wedding and that week is packed of stuff already) Her: oh you don't need one, but I need to make sure my hair is perfect. (um... her hair is more important?)
    - She has a bright dress and lots of blingy jewelry to wear for the wedding and I have a fairly simple dress, no veil and simple jewelry. When I commented that she will be more fancy than me, she rolled her eyes and said that it's her day too.

    Sigh...
    Oh my word. Your mom sounds like a little bit of an attention whore...
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    Amyzen83mcgarci2
  • Sometimes all I can do is laugh, roll my eyes and say "bless their hearts". So my sister is getting married in two weeks. If I wasn't so damned busy, I'd start an entire post/rant/vent about that situation. Needless to say I'm counting down the days until I can go on with my life. Anyway, with that, the human side of me has been feeling very emotionally vulnerable on the verge of a melt down with this, and feeling like I have little to no support in this. Then yesterday I see in my email inbox that a guest has signed my online guestbook. Yay!
    It's from my aunt, who I recently sent a save the date card to. I get along well with all of my aunts and uncles and have no drama at all with any of them, but she mentions my sister's wedding in her message. 

    "Hi Amyzen83 ! I'm excited about seeing you at sister's wedding and also meeting Fi of Amyzen83. There was a bit more but it's irrelevant to this part. I know she said over the phone that she and uncle may not be able to fly down for my wedding and I gave her my blessing that I would not be hurt if she could only go to my sister's, but still that kind of got to me. I think if I wasn't feeling kind of sensitive right now, and I wasn't so irritated with my sister's entitlement attitudes, I wouldn't be letting this kind of thing get me down.

    Not really anything I can do about that except shake my head and move on and try to enjoy my own planning. Sorry, I'm just feeling really bad right now about things.
  • "Why have a big wedding? If it doesn't work out with you guys, you don't want to be out all of that money."
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear Arkham Asylum member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Oh my gawd guys! I love my mother but she tends to lean towards the superficial side of life.

    So yesterday, was my first official fitting of the dress and when she saw me in the dress (she hadn't seen it because I picked it out myself) she said, "you're still going to loose weight right? I mean because you should..." 

    I just laughed cause that how she is and at the end of the day I live somewhere else and my dad is the only one who gets to do that full-time.  My sister and the seamstress just stood there shocked at her comments...

    Just and FYI, I use to weigh about 280lbs at one point. I now weight about 170ish lbs and she still thinks I could lose more weight... She reminds me of Mrs. Howl from Gilligan's Island. 

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    Lawd help me!!! 
    Holy crap, that's great!  Good job!
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    perdonamiLowell14
  • edited February 2014
    When I showed people a picture of my wedding dress, two different people said, "You didn't settle on that, did you?  There's still time to look for another one."  People have confronted me about my endometriosis asking me if I am even going to bother to try to get pregnant after the wedding. People have told me that I spent too much on my dress, and I am pretty conceited to want all eyes on me. One person said, "You aren't really doing a theme?  I would be so bored at your wedding." Oh, and when I tried on my dress, my MOB poked me in the hips where she wanted to point out an area of fat.  I still have 5 more months to lose 10 lbs, and it was that time of the month! Couple of other humdingers, but I forget.
  • Yeah, my father told me to make sure my wedding was on a saturday.  He told me he only takes off of work for serious issues... like if he's sick (he also takes time off to go hunting). He's not coming to the wedding, anyway, but it was over another issue. Lol.
  • Yeah, my father told me to make sure my wedding was on a saturday.  He told me he only takes off of work for serious issues... like if he's sick (he also takes time off to go hunting). He's not coming to the wedding, anyway, but it was over another issue. Lol.

    Based on your other posts about him I'm really not all that surprised. It looks like you got a bunch of doozies from friends... I bet your dress looks amazing on you!
    themuffinman16grumbledoreperdonami
  • I had a lot of people tell me that it is disrespectful to my (younger) sister to have a large wedding. She was married 4 years ago and had a wedding she wanted. It wasn't as large as mine will be but my FH has a large family and huge group of college friends, but it wasn't like she eloped or had a 10 person wedding. She invited just as many people as I am, but they sent their invites out massively early-7 months pregnant wedding. They did STDs at 18 months pre-wedding. So most people never RSVPed, or said yes and never came or just said no instantly because of the timing.

    My FH and I live in by a major city in our home state. My family is scattered while majority of his family is on the opposite side of the state from us. We looked at venues by his hometown, by my hometown, between the two, by us and even considered places no where near us in our state. We finally decided on a venue about 45 mins south of where we live because we get the lakefront as the downtown area which we wanted but at a fraction of the cost since we are out of the city. I have heard nothing but complaints from FH's family because it.is costing them all this money to drive there, and pay for a hotel. I did snap and say that they are lucky I did it our state period because for a hot second I contemplated doing a destination wedding in TN or AL.

    I have also had a lot people, friends, coworkers and even vendors we considered, tell me that I shouldn't have any thing beyond beer hosted, no vegetarian options besides sides, nor should I worry about allergies of VIPs(FMIL is allergic to tree nuts). Most vendors told me I was crazy to consider doing full open bar because people will take advantage.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
    Amyzen83
  • It's not direct comments, but I've had people make comments about how anyone spending over 10k on a wedding "should just throw that money into a trash can! That's such a waste, why not buy a house with it! Or go on a huge honeymoon!"

    Meanwhile i'm biting my tongue because we tried so hard to have a wedding of that price and it just was not possible for our venue and the amount of people we wanted to invite. and sure, we would love to do the huge honeymoon thing, or put it towards a house.


    Then when we went to David's Bridal for a friend to try on dresses for her wedding, one of our mutual friends kept going on and on about how generic the dresses are and how you can't "reuse" them as a cocktail dress and meanwhile I'm sitting there thinking "my dress is from this store....glad that everyone apparently will be thinking about how generic it looks" Especially since she had literally JUST seen me in mine as my fitting was the same time frame.
    missdooley10
  • My coworker told me she thought of getting married at my site but that it was too expensive. A few days later she said "Well since you can't get married there because of the cost where are you getting married?" "At that site." "Oh, I guess it was just too expensive for me."

    I told my direct supervisor how I've been loving these raspberry chocolates lately. The business manager said "You need to stop eating those cause you're getting married."

    This morning, I sent my mom a link to the dress that I want. She told me it's too expensive and I need to find a different one. BTW, she's not paying for anything in my wedding, so no, it's not a situation of her footing the bill.

    I haven't personally spoken with my FMIL in almost 2 years. The doozies I know she can come up with I haven't had to hear yet.
    Amyzen83
  • Oh dear FMIL...she drives me up a wall.  Here are just some of her highlights...

    1. Almost immediately after getting engaged...when are you giving me grandchildren?

    2.  What do you mean you're not getting married in a church? (says the woman who hasn't stepped foot in a church in the 5+ years that I've known her)

    3. Why didn't you register for Lenox china, toasting flutes, etc?  (She has a slight obsession with Lenox and FI and I 1. don't want china and 2. didn't like any of the Lenox we saw, so we choose another designer.)  She has also made prior statements such as "You'll like Lenox when I'm done with you." Seriously, wth.

    4. My FI was graduating from a school with the army and I was flying out of state to see him since it was something very important to him and to me to be there.  When I spoke with FMIL right before I left, she said something along the lines of "you must be made of money" because I was flying and and we are also paying for our entire wedding.  Sorry we have good jobs and can afford being there for each other even if it means flying across the country for a graduation.

    5. And this is my absolute favorite...a family friend (on her side of the family for that matter!) is an owner of one of the best rated catering companies in my area.  When we told her that we were using this company, instead of being happy that we are using someone close to the family, she replied, "I heard they are horrible".  Really!?!? 1. why would you say that about someone you know and 2. I'm sure their constant awards and great reviews really proves how "horrible" they are.

    She also proceeded to buy her dress for the wedding one of the days we were all out shopping for bridesmaids dresses.  I didn't even settle on my colors and she bought her dress!  She's one of those has-to-be-the-center-of-attention types.

    ugh so glad to vent!
    themuffinman16Amyzen83
  • @kristinaap87- are you sure we're not marrying the same person? Totally joking (FI isn't in the military) but I have heard some of those exact same things from my FMIL- I love my FMIL to death but I've had some interesting convos with her. I too was asked almost immediately about the grandkids and I'm going...heyyyy can we get married first?? 

    BOTH of FI's parents about had a heart attack when they thought we weren't having a Catholic ceremony- we are, just not in the Catholic Church- we're getting married in the Chapel at our alma mater as I am not Catholic and we wanted it to be representative of both of us. 

    She also said to me (before I found my dress) Oh I guess I'll have to get in shape again- I need to find what I'm going to wear! My reply was "Maybe I should find what I'm going to wear firs...t" 

    Again our relationship is close enough that I don't really consider these rude, just her with no filter :)
    Amyzen83
  • @kristinaap87- are you sure we're not marrying the same person? Totally joking (FI isn't in the military) but I have heard some of those exact same things from my FMIL- I love my FMIL to death but I've had some interesting convos with her. I too was asked almost immediately about the grandkids and I'm going...heyyyy can we get married first?? 


    BOTH of FI's parents about had a heart attack when they thought we weren't having a Catholic ceremony- we are, just not in the Catholic Church- we're getting married in the Chapel at our alma mater as I am not Catholic and we wanted it to be representative of both of us. 

    She also said to me (before I found my dress) Oh I guess I'll have to get in shape again- I need to find what I'm going to wear! My reply was "Maybe I should find what I'm going to wear firs...t" 

    Again our relationship is close enough that I don't really consider these rude, just her with no filter :)
    My mom bought her dress before I selected my dress. Her dress wasn't dependent upon my dress or wedding colors. We found a dress that flattered her and she liked. I had my venue and formality of my wedding selected, and that is all that mattered.

    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
    trulymarvelousVivandiere8perdonami
  • I found it rude that she kind of went out of the "traditional" order of how things usually go (bride, bridesmaids, MOB, FMIL).  By no means are there any set rules, however, because she randomly bought a dress, she is actually going to stick out like a sore thumb in my photos because she clashes with what I decided to go with...and by no means was I making any color sacrifices because of what she decided to buy.
  • @kristinaap87- are you sure we're not marrying the same person? Totally joking (FI isn't in the military) but I have heard some of those exact same things from my FMIL- I love my FMIL to death but I've had some interesting convos with her. I too was asked almost immediately about the grandkids and I'm going...heyyyy can we get married first?? 

    BOTH of FI's parents about had a heart attack when they thought we weren't having a Catholic ceremony- we are, just not in the Catholic Church- we're getting married in the Chapel at our alma mater as I am not Catholic and we wanted it to be representative of both of us. 

    She also said to me (before I found my dress) Oh I guess I'll have to get in shape again- I need to find what I'm going to wear! My reply was "Maybe I should find what I'm going to wear firs...t" 

    Again our relationship is close enough that I don't really consider these rude, just her with no filter :)

    Is this a thing?  I mean i grew up Catholic, and I always learned that the ONLY way to have a full Catholic ceremony that would be recognized in the Church was to get married in a Catholic Church.  It sounds like what you're describing is actually more of a non-denominational wedding.  So if FI's parents are serious Catholics - that may not fly with them.  Obviously it's not about them, it's about you, but i just wanted to let you know that i don't think that what you're describing can actually be considered a Catholic wedding.
    Marzipan13
  • @deljum0 no from what I can tell you're absolutely right under most circumstances. We're getting married in the Chapel at our college which also holds Mass for the Catholic Campus Ministries on campus.I believe that's the only reason that FI's priest agreed to perform the ceremony anywhere other than his church. Our ceremony is the Rite of Marriage outside of Mass so that may have something to do with it as well, I'm not 100% sure. He  takes his vocation very seriously so I don't believe he would have agreed if it were not going to be valid, whereas I know some posters mentioned on the Catholic board things that were approved by priests that 

    FI's parents are not devout Catholics so we were actually a little surprised by their reaction but this decision was for us as well as it was important to us to have the ceremony in the church- 
  • Nothing too bad, really just the usual religious comments from my mother....

    After being raised Roman Catholic and going through 8 years of Catholic School, I don't attend church and can't say I'm actively religious. I'm not getting married in a church, but I am getting married by a Lutheran pastor.

    "Well it's not in a Catholic church so I don't really care what decisions you make."

    "I hope you realize that deciding not to get married in/pick a church, you will might not be able to ever get your kids baptized or send them to private school." .....really? (we had Jewish kids at my catholic school but okay)
    CrazyCatLady3Amyzen83Lowell14
  • The only comment I have got so far that insulted me was that I can not be a real bride/wife as I may not be able to have children. This was said by a co-worker that also finds fault with everyone and everything. As for many people this a truly touchy subject for most women I would have expected better. And I also find this very insulting as you are telling me my family that have been adopted(many many cousins) are truly family.?
    Amyzen83
  • The only comment I have got so far that insulted me was that I can not be a real bride/wife as I may not be able to have children. This was said by a co-worker that also finds fault with everyone and everything. As for many people this a truly touchy subject for most women I would have expected better. And I also find this very insulting as you are telling me my family that have been adopted(many many cousins) are truly family.?

    Your co workers an insensitive twat for saying that! Heaven forbid your co worker has to get a hysterectomy would they still sing the same tune?
    themuffinman16grumbledore
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