Customs and Traditions

Fiance(e) seeing the dress?

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Re: Fiance(e) seeing the dress?

  • At first, I felt pretty strongly that I wanted my dress to be a surprise, although I asked his opinion about dresses in magazines quite a bit. After I started trying on dresses, however, I eventually decided to include him in the decision process and showed him pictures of me in my favorite dresses that I tried on. A couple of things prompted this. 1) He doesn't like surprises like I do, 2) He really wanted to participate in the decision process, and 3) He is actually quite picky about what he thinks looks good on me and quite vocal and honest about it - thankfully he and I share mostly similar taste or when we don't, I typically disregard his opinion (which isn't a big deal on a day-to-day basis - but a wedding day is a momentous and shared day!). So, I decided I'd rather hear his opinions beforehand than afterwards (i.e. sharing an honest opinion that he doesn't prefer this and that, etc.) I'm surprisingly liking the process of having him involved in picking a dress. And, he and I both figure that the pics of me trying on dresses (in horrible lighting and no makeup/hairstyle) won't compare to how I will look walking down the aisle on our actual wedding day.    
    anrunkle1205
  • My FI doesn't want to see my dress.  He's seen the neckline (I zoomed in on my iPhone to show him because he was asking me about how much cleavage I was showing), but nothing else.  Although we'll be getting ready under the same roof, he wants to be surprised when I emerge from the bedroom fully done-up.  

    He DID see my veil yesterday, only because I'd ironed it and it was hanging on the back of the door, but that's not a big deal.
  • For me it's not about superstition. I just cannot wait to see his reaction when I am the beginning of the aisle & he sees me in the dress for the first time. However, it should be the bride & groom's decision and no one else's.
    doeydo
  • My fiance and I are not superstitious but just to keep it special he wont be seeing anything until the wedding day c: 
    doeydo
  • I'm not letting my fiance see anything I'm wearing until I walk down the aisle. We both want that element of total surprise that comes with the "first look". Plus, it's fun for your guests to see your "first look" reactions as well!
    doeydo
  • We plan on shopping for the dress as just the two of us. I've never not wanted him to see it early and he gives very honest opinions back when I show him options. I want him to like it more than anyone else! We're used to making all of our decisions together because we have a daughter, so that might play a role! We also are not spending the night apart before the wedding, either. Neither of us is superstitious.

    We're doing a first look as well. I think we'll have just as many butterflies seeing each other at the ceremony either way!
  • Yup, my fiance saw me trying on my dress. I even told him not supposed to see it lol. But he said, I have not seen the final touch! So dont sweat it at all...cuz at the end..its your love and trust to each other are the most important! Congrats!
  • DH went with me when I bought the dress & we made pictures together before the ceremony.

  • FI refuses to see my dress...
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA
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    I'm torn. I loooove the dresses that I'm considering and I want his opinion. Plus I really enjoy sharing things with Fi that I'm excited about (duh, I love him!).

    I don't know if I'd be able to keep my excitement hidden for mooooonths!
  • phiraphira Bahstin
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
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    @Jennycolada That's such a huge part of it for me. I really want his opinion, and I feel so strange hiding a big part of the wedding from him, when we've made every wedding decision together!

    He still doesn't want to see it. So we'll see. There's still plenty of time to go.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    JennyColada
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
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    My fiance is a tailor so he made my dress :)  I told him some of my favorite design elements and he began sewing....surprisingly, I have NOT seen my dress and don't plan to see it until my wedding day.  We haven't decided if I'll wear a blindfold while I get dressed and wait until I reach the altar to remove it.  We love surprises--we're having a surprise wedding! lol
    ----Ooh, this is maybe not such a good idea.  There's no way to tell exactly how it will fit without trying it on, no matter how good of a tailor your FI is.
    I asked H's opinion of my top two dresses (pictures of the models) and then told him which I chose.  But he didn't see it on me until the day of until our first look.

  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    phira said:
    @Jennycolada That's such a huge part of it for me. I really want his opinion, and I feel so strange hiding a big part of the wedding from him, when we've made every wedding decision together!

    He still doesn't want to see it. So we'll see. There's still plenty of time to go.
    I have some appointments on Feb 9, but right now I'm feeling so stressed about it. It's so hard to find the styles in store and I'm always bad at picking what looks good versus what I THINK looks good.

    I want him to share this excitement with me and by NOT sharing it with him it's really making me stressed. :/

    So depending on how my Feb 9 appts go with my mom I might pull Fi in for a second opinion (although I'd love to not have to).

    But what I may do is just send him pictures of my top choices and get his opinion on a few, without letting him know which ONE I'm picking.
  • My husband saw my dress because he bought it. We were at the mall and the particular dress caught my eye; I tried it on and he offered to buy it according to him to go 'on a date with me'. lol
    I told him it was for the day to marry him; he said ok.
  • phiraphira Bahstin
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    phira said:
    @Jennycolada That's such a huge part of it for me. I really want his opinion, and I feel so strange hiding a big part of the wedding from him, when we've made every wedding decision together!

    He still doesn't want to see it. So we'll see. There's still plenty of time to go.
    I have some appointments on Feb 9, but right now I'm feeling so stressed about it. It's so hard to find the styles in store and I'm always bad at picking what looks good versus what I THINK looks good.

    I want him to share this excitement with me and by NOT sharing it with him it's really making me stressed. :/

    So depending on how my Feb 9 appts go with my mom I might pull Fi in for a second opinion (although I'd love to not have to).

    But what I may do is just send him pictures of my top choices and get his opinion on a few, without letting him know which ONE I'm picking.
    Yeah, I'm especially stressed because he didn't like the dress when I first sent him photos of it (on the model). He says it's grown on him, that he likes it now, and that he can tell it's going to look amazing on me. A few people have seen me in it, but ... ugh I just wish I felt more confident.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    JennyColada
  • Crystal03jcCrystal03jc
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper First Answer
    member
    edited January 2014
    My fiance and I went to the dress shop together and I found the one I wanted, tried it on and we both liked it.  We're not really going all traditional, seeing me in my dress isn't going to ruin anything.  I haven't decided on hair, makeup or veil.. he won't see me all done up until the big day.  We also went together to pick out his and his groomsmen attire.  I won't see him in his until we pick them up they day before, I'm excited about that.

     

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • phiraphira Bahstin
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I just wanted to say how great it's been to hear everyone's experiences and preferences! Last week I was having a particularly shitty day and my partner suggested I try on my dress so he could see it (he didn't realize at first that there was no way I could try it on without him helping me, so he'd see it if I wanted to wear it!).

    It wasn't the perfect experience, since we were in our tiny apartment and because the dress is a little too tight (he got nervous about trying to zip it up farther, so I felt a bit fat, but oh well). But he really loves it.

    The bad news is that he pointed out that it does look a little off without some kind of boob-supporting garment. I totally agree, but that means I've got a lot of weight to lose (at least 20 lbs; I carry most of my weight in my butt and thighs, so I've got a lot to lose to be able to stick a long-line bra in between me and the dress).

    However, he LOVES the dress, and he's very glad that he's seen what it really looks like. It's just not easy enough to tell on the hanger, or on a heavily photoshopped model. Huge boost of self-esteem for me, and I feel much better that this huge wedding detail isn't a secret from him.

    Thanks for all the feedback!
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    JennyColada
  • I made the choice that I don't want my FI to see the dress.  Initially he was a bit disappointed, but now he's gung-ho on not seeing it until I walk down the aisle.  I figure this is one of the only times I get to have something so special, I want to savor it.  I don't think it's going to make or break our marriage, it's just what we both want, and I wouldn't ever think myself better than anybody else for them going what they both wanted either. 

    He's seen my headband, but only because he wants to buy my jewelry for the day as my "something new".  And he only saw a picture.  We're going to live together before we get married, but I think he'll be disciplined enough to not peek at the goods in our closet.  :D

    image


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