Colored envelopes

cbabybear · March 2014

So I'm designing my own invites for my August wedding. (I do graphic design at work, but never anything like this) And I'd like to get my envelopes soon so I can start addressing them. I keep seeing colored envelopes out there, but I'm stumped because I don't understand how people are addressing these... Our colors are navy and coral accents, so I'm thinking creme or navy envelopes. I've also purchased a custom stamp for our return address. Creme envelopes are straight forward... but Navy seems like it could be really cool. Would you think white or silver paint pen/ink for the stamp, or a white badge on the front? Anyone else seen other ideas out there?

nebullama · March 2014

I've wondered this myself. Apart from foil stamping or something like that, and labels I'm not sure what people do with them.

If you have time, my suggestion would be to order a couple of samples and play around with them. Maybe try some different types of stock too, like linen vs. smooth. Most of the envelope sites I found charge only a dollar or so for samples, and apply what you spend to a future order.

Just out of curiosity, when you say you don't design for anything like this, do you do any designing for print work?

EDIT: You might want to try a metallic stock too. They can be a bit finicky with what ink they'll accept but it may be worth a try. With normal (uncoated) envelopes there's a chance the ink from a paint pen might soak in too much and fade out. The coating on a metallic might help.

CMGragain · March 2014

Be sure and show us your text before you finalize. I've seen beautiful DIY invitations ruined by bad wording.

cbabybear · March 2014

@NEBULLAMA that's a good idea about getting some envelopes! I think I'll order some samples tonight! I've got plenty of time to play around with that!

@CMGRAGAIN here's what I've currently got, I haven't passed it by the family yet, I'm not sure on the etiquette for this, my family is paying for everything, his Dad has volunteered for the rehearsal dinner and that's it... His Mother hasn't mentioned anything. This kinda irks me, but granted I've got the bigger family, I'm just thankful my parents are being so generous.

His parent's are also divorced, and have been since they were 9, his Dad remarried when he was 11, and we see his Dad/StepMom a lot. Any advice on this would be helpful too! Don't want to start formatting cards to find I need to reword/reformat the invites.

I have renamed us after my pets too...LOL

MR. AND MRS. COPPER HARDY
REQUEST THE HONOR OF YOUR PRESENCE
AT THE MARRIAGE OF THEIR DAUGHTER

Lola Hardy
and
Cassius DeCammen

SON OF MR. AND MRS. RONAN DECAMMEN and MRS. IMKE DECAMMEN (his Mom)

SATURDAY, SIXTEENTH OF AUGUST
TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN
AT FIVE O’CLOCK IN THE EVENING

-Location-
RED HOUSE B & B

Reception to follow

*In terms of what I do design: I'm an architectural designer. So mostly building stuff, but I do all the marketing documents, and presentation boards/graphics for my office. I've designed custom invitations for parties, work, personal, etc for years...but nothing where I had a super coordinated suite. I've also done logos and marketing graphics for various purposes/projects.

CMGragain · March 2014

Wow. Glad I mentioned it. You have some problems in your wording, The "honour of your presence" is ONLY used for wedding that are taking place in a church or other house of worship. This is a hard and fast rule!
5:00 PM is afternoon, not evening. I would simply leave this out. No one will think your wedding is at 5:00 AM.
The grooms parents do not belong on the invitation unless they are hosting the wedding. You can use the "son of" line if you must, but the groom cannot have three parents. It would look like this:
son of
Ms.Imke Decammen
Mr. Ronan Decammen

Awkward, isn't it? Divorced parents cannot go on the same line of type together. There is no good reason to put the groom's parents' on the invitation at all. The invitation is not a family tree. IT IS NOT AN HONOR TO BE ON THE INVITATION!!! The invitation is a simple note from the hosts (your parents) to the guests, giving them the information of who, what, when and where.
The all caps gives me a headache. If you aren't using them in your design, then try again, and I will check the caps/lower case issues. Otherwise, this would be correct, traditional wording.

MR. AND MRS. COPPER MIDDLE HARDY
REQUEST THE PLEASURE OF YOUR COMPANY
AT THE MARRIAGE OF THEIR DAUGHTER

LOLA MIDDLE
TO
MR. CASSIUS MIDDLE DECAMMEN

SATURDAY, THE SIXTEENTH OF AUGUST
TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN
AT FIVE O’CLOCK

RED HOUSE BED AND BREAKFAST
1234 MAIN STREET
CITY, STATE

RECEPTION TO FOLLOW

cbabybear · March 2014

A few things:

I will leave the decision on the leading text to my family, I have seen many non-church held weddings with "honor of your presence" and of the 3 wedding etiquette books I've been loaned 2 have it as traditionally used in religious ceremonies, but optional for more formal/traditional weddings.

I don't think the groom's family has to be on our invitations given the hosting 'situation'. But I don't necessarily think they shouldn't either, it is his wedding too, his family is also being invited, and I think every one of our parent's gets credit for raising us to be us, and being there for our relationship thus far. We fall under that category where it's a modern interpretation of the traditional invite, both families are listed, it's a nod to both of them. Which is why on my first pass they're on there, his stepmother and Mother included, his stepmother has been in his life for over 20 years and refers to him as her son.

The caps currently is part of my design/typography selection, that I've been generating a mock up from.

Thank you for your other suggestions.

Any suggestions on the colored envelopes?

JennyColada · March 2014

What about coral envelopes?

Maggie0829 · March 2014

If you want to go with navy envelopes you could run the envelopes through the printer with the font in white.

Or look into getting a super fine point sharpie in white to hand address them.

But I do think it is a good idea to play around with your options. Just know that not everything has to be in your wedding colors and you could always just go with white/ivory envelopes and then line the inside with your color or keep the pop of colors for your invitation.

doeydo · March 2014

You could use a navy envelope and write with a white or other light coloured pen. Example:
Gelly Roll Classic White Medium pen

Or, you could use coral envelopes and write the addresses with a regular pen. Example:

KatWAG · March 2014

I used bright green envelopes for our RSVP cards. And used dark grey ink. It showed up perfectly but I would recommend practicing first.

It was so fun to go to the mail and have all the green envelopes stand out. So much more fun than getting bills.

cbabybear · March 2014

I do like the idea of colored envelopes since they stand out in the mail! I hadn't really thought of it that way, but when I get my mail I do open the colored items first!

Yes I will be hand addressing them! Time to work on my calligraphy skills again! Never knew that being a weird kid and learning that would ever be handy!

nebullama · March 2014

I agree that the navy envelopes will look awesome. I just wanted to point out that the image supplied by doyedo comes from lcipaper.com, which sells colored envelopes. I'm guessing they might even sell that pen.

Sounds like designing an invitation suite might be a fun break from the technical stuff. I work in printing so these things interest me in my own nerdy way.

And I don't know about you but I sometimes get bored with dull, business related printing.

[Deleted User] · March 2014

I am doing the same colors for my wedding! I am using a navy envelope with a white pen. I definitely recommend it!

CMGragain · March 2014

cbabybear said:

A few things:

I will leave the decision on the leading text to my family, I have seen many non-church held weddings with "honor of your presence" and of the 3 wedding etiquette books I've been loaned 2 have it as traditionally used in religious ceremonies, but optional for more formal/traditional weddings.

I don't think the groom's family has to be on our invitations given the hosting 'situation'. But I don't necessarily think they shouldn't either, it is his wedding too, his family is also being invited, and I think every one of our parent's gets credit for raising us to be us, and being there for our relationship thus far. We fall under that category where it's a modern interpretation of the traditional invite, both families are listed, it's a nod to both of them. Which is why on my first pass they're on there, his stepmother and Mother included, his stepmother has been in his life for over 20 years and refers to him as her son.

The caps currently is part of my design/typography selection, that I've been generating a mock up from.

Thank you for your other suggestions.

Any suggestions on the colored envelopes?

The invitation is a simple note from the hosts (your parents) to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where. The only people who are honored are the guests who receive the invitation. It is not an honor to be on the invitation. It does not include or exclude anyone.
You can, of course, word your invitation however you like, but it would be nice if your invitations were perfect, wouldn't it?
The proper place to honor your parents and his parents is on the wedding program, or during toasts at the reception - not on the invitation. Put it this way: if you were giving a party for your friends, would you put your parents' names on the invitation to "include" them? I don't think so. This is no different. Your parents are hosting your wedding, so their name goes on your invitation. His parents are hosting the rehearsal dinner, so their name goes on the invitation to the rehearsal dinner, not your parents' names. Step mother is included as host. How does his mother feel about stepmother being listed as his mother on the invitation? If they were hosting, this wouldn't be a problem, but they are not.
I am really trying to help you make your invitation perfect. Please don't do "request the honour of your presence". People will notice.

theartistformerlyknownas · March 2014

Maggie0829 said:

If you want to go with navy envelopes you could run the envelopes through the printer with the font in white.

Or look into getting a super fine point sharpie in white to hand address them.

But I do think it is a good idea to play around with your options. Just know that not everything has to be in your wedding colors and you could always just go with white/ivory envelopes and then line the inside with your color or keep the pop of colors for your invitation.

Home printers do not have white ink. Elements in white on the computer are seen as clear by the printer.

My vote would be to go with an ivory, white, or coral outer envelope (or even gray) and keep the navy for your inner envelope. You don't need to worry about the outer envelope being "cool"... it's just going to get thrown away. All it needs to do is get your gorgeous invites to their correct destinations safely.

cbabybear · March 2014

CMGragain said:

cbabybear said:

A few things:

I will leave the decision on the leading text to my family, I have seen many non-church held weddings with "honor of your presence" and of the 3 wedding etiquette books I've been loaned 2 have it as traditionally used in religious ceremonies, but optional for more formal/traditional weddings.

I don't think the groom's family has to be on our invitations given the hosting 'situation'. But I don't necessarily think they shouldn't either, it is his wedding too, his family is also being invited, and I think every one of our parent's gets credit for raising us to be us, and being there for our relationship thus far. We fall under that category where it's a modern interpretation of the traditional invite, both families are listed, it's a nod to both of them. Which is why on my first pass they're on there, his stepmother and Mother included, his stepmother has been in his life for over 20 years and refers to him as her son.

The caps currently is part of my design/typography selection, that I've been generating a mock up from.

Thank you for your other suggestions.

Any suggestions on the colored envelopes?

The invitation is a simple note from the hosts (your parents) to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where. The only people who are honored are the guests who receive the invitation. It is not an honor to be on the invitation. It does not include or exclude anyone.
You can, of course, word your invitation however you like, but it would be nice if your invitations were perfect, wouldn't it?
The proper place to honor your parents and his parents is on the wedding program, or during toasts at the reception - not on the invitation. Put it this way: if you were giving a party for your friends, would you put your parents' names on the invitation to "include" them? I don't think so. This is no different. Your parents are hosting your wedding, so their name goes on your invitation. His parents are hosting the rehearsal dinner, so their name goes on the invitation to the rehearsal dinner, not your parents' names. Step mother is included as host. How does his mother feel about stepmother being listed as his mother on the invitation? If they were hosting, this wouldn't be a problem, but they are not.
I am really trying to help you make your invitation perfect. Please don't do "request the honour of your presence". People will notice.

The invitation does state that my parents are requesting the guests. If I was implying his parents were involved they'd also be listed on the top - the way it's written is a simple nod to his family. Grammatically it doesn't state we are honoring his parents, or that they're hosting, simply that he is the son of ...

Your comparison isn't even a valid comparison.

Nor do I wish to argue with you over this, I asked about colored envelopes. I will have my final invitations proofed family who know us well. What is hard and fast for you may not be for others, so please do not try to define my version of 'perfect'.

@Lolo8383 - yes I know they don't have white ink standard for printers, although I can get white ink for pens and I'll be handwriting. For other brides, I do know you can hack white paint into a printer cartridge if done properly...

Thrown away or not, it's just that attention the envelope gets when first received, it's colored so it sounds out. I like your idea of coral outer envelope and navy inner envelope!

CMGragain · March 2014

Sigh! Well, I tried.
Nobody forced you to put your working text on the board. Now that you did, you will be open to comments.

OtterJ · March 2014

I used dark blue envelopes with silver ink for my invitations!

I scoured every office supply and craft store in the city to buy a variety of silver fine tipped markers, paint pens, and gel pens. Basically, they all worked great, but a few of them were easier than others. For example - the paint pens were difficult to use at times, because they would create gaps in the writing (easy to touch up, though). The Gel pens created a lighter line (still readable, just not as bold). After testing them, I waited until the ink dried to see if there was any smearing. I can't remember the specific brands that worked best, sorry!

My sister-in-law and I hand addressed the front of the envelopes with the guest info, and the back flap with the return address. I'm sorry I don't have a suggestion for the stamp, but I'm sure there are silver ink pads out there, somewhere. If you don't want to use silver, I know I've seen gold, and white paint pens before.

About your wording: I think it's a great idea to get the ideas of others, and to listen to second opinions, but in the end, it is your decision. You are always going to find different opinions on what is and isn't an absolute, hard and fast etiquette rule. As long as you are happy with it, your fiance is happy with it, and anyone else whose opinion is valued is happy with it - go with it.

jenna8984 · March 2014

@cmgragain I know you've said before that you are my parents age so you are all about what is "proper" but why on Earth is the wording "honor of your presence" only to be used for a church or house of worship? I already put that on my invitations for a non church wedding and I'm perfectly happy with them and I'm in no way spending double the money to change them just because of your comment. I find nothing wrong with that and see no reasoning that it can't be used for a non church wedding. I admit to being a nontraditional bride, so I just don't give hoot about stuff like that and don't see how it affects anyone so who cares if that's how I/she wants to word it?

CMGragain · March 2014

jenna8984 said:

@cmgragain I know you've said before that you are my parents age so you are all about what is "proper" but why on Earth is the wording "honor of your presence" only to be used for a church or house of worship? I already put that on my invitations for a non church wedding and I'm perfectly happy with them and I'm in no way spending double the money to change them just because of your comment. I find nothing wrong with that and see no reasoning that it can't be used for a non church wedding. I admit to being a nontraditional bride, so I just don't give hoot about stuff like that and don't see how it affects anyone so who cares if that's how I/she wants to word it?

Well, it is good that you don't care, because "the honour of your presence" has been strictly reserved for church/synangogue ceremonies two hundred years at least. Check on Crane's Blue Book site. They are the oldest invitation providers in the USA.
Asking why this is so is like asking why the sky is blue. Because it just is. There are a lot of bridal traditions that don't have a logical reason, but that doesn't make them any less valid.
I really don't mind non-traditional wording, as long as it tells the guest clearly, who, what, when and where. I dislike poetry and wordy invitations, which is why I object to the non-traditional "son of" wording. it also is a slap at the groom because it sort of implies that nobody knows who he is without listing his parents.
I dislike misleading wording. "Honour of your presence" is misleading because it indicates a wedding held in a church. There are also rules about divorced parents, and that they should not be on the same line of type together.
When ladies ask questions on the Knot, they expect to get the correct answers, not just someone's personal opinion. Saying "It's your wedding. Do whatever you want to do," is terrible advice.

Is there room for creativity in wedding wording? Yes, IF it does the job, but not if it confuses your guests, or insults someone.

theartistformerlyknownas · March 2014

FWIW, I think nowadays there are probably a significant chunk of people who wouldn't have the first clue that "honor of your presence" strictly indicates a church wedding. So I don't think confusing guests is a huge risk.

As far as the return address stamp, in my experience the way to get the clearest image on a dark background is using embossing powder. You stamp with a clear embossing ink, then sprinkle the white or silver powder onto it, tap off the excess and set with a heat gun (they're maybe $15). It melts the powder then it quickly solidifies into a beautiful, shiny (can be metallic), smudge-proof imprint. It's a little more time-consuming obviously, but if you're willing to commit it looks really nice! You can crank them out pretty easily if you have your own one-person assembly line. (Stamp, sprinkle, set aside, til you have about 6-8, tap the excess off onto another sheet from which you'll keep re-using that excess, blast the batch with the heat gun.)

Maggie0829 · March 2014

CMGragain said:

jenna8984 said:

@cmgragain I know you've said before that you are my parents age so you are all about what is "proper" but why on Earth is the wording "honor of your presence" only to be used for a church or house of worship? I already put that on my invitations for a non church wedding and I'm perfectly happy with them and I'm in no way spending double the money to change them just because of your comment. I find nothing wrong with that and see no reasoning that it can't be used for a non church wedding. I admit to being a nontraditional bride, so I just don't give hoot about stuff like that and don't see how it affects anyone so who cares if that's how I/she wants to word it?

Well, it is good that you don't care, because "the honour of your presence" has been strictly reserved for church/synangogue ceremonies two hundred years at least. Check on Crane's Blue Book site. They are the oldest invitation providers in the USA.
Asking why this is so is like asking why the sky is blue. Because it just is. There are a lot of bridal traditions that don't have a logical reason, but that doesn't make them any less valid.
I really don't mind non-traditional wording, as long as it tells the guest clearly, who, what, when and where. I dislike poetry and wordy invitations, which is why I object to the non-traditional "son of" wording. it also is a slap at the groom because it sort of implies that nobody knows who he is without listing his parents.
I dislike misleading wording. "Honour of your presence" is misleading because it indicates a wedding held in a church. There are also rules about divorced parents, and that they should not be on the same line of type together.
When ladies ask questions on the Knot, they expect to get the correct answers, not just someone's personal opinion. Saying "It's your wedding. Do whatever you want to do," is terrible advice.

Is there room for creativity in wedding wording? Yes, IF it does the job, but not if it confuses your guests, or insults someone.

So the use of that wording is tradition, not etiquette, correct? Traditions =/= etiquette so to not follow traditions to a tea is not wrong. So using "honor of your presence" if you are not having a church wedding is just the couple not following tradition which is perfectly acceptable because it would be like the couple choosing to not have a first dance, or wedding party, or any other traditional wedding practice. As long as they are following etiquette then they are fine with whatever wording they choose to use.

I also don't believe that using the "honor of your presence" for a non-church wedding would insult any guest. Now if it said "the honor of your fucking presence" then that could be insulting but to not follow tradition is not insulting.

jenna8984 · March 2014

That is one of the silliest things I've ever heard that that's just "how it's been" for no rhyme or reason. Because this so called oldest invitation company made that up 200 years ago? Well the constitution was made 200 years ago as well and look how many amendments we've needed.

I also don't think it's misleading when 1. hardly anybody knows of that so called signification. 2. A few lines down is the name of the venue, which is obviously not a church lol

tammym1001 · March 2014

From the Crane's website:

Request Line

The request lines invite your guests to your wedding. The wording varies according to where the wedding is being held. The correct wording for a wedding held in a church, temple, synagogue or any house of worship is “request the honour of your presence.” The word “honour” is used to show deference to God whenever a wedding is held in a house of worship. For weddings held in any location other than a house of worship, “request the pleasure of your company” is used.

Which is more formal: “request the honour of your presence” or “request the pleasure of your company”?
Both phrases are equally formal. They are just used under different circumstances.

What is the correct spelling of “honor”?
Both “honour” and “honor” are correct. It’s a matter of personal preference, although most brides prefer the English spelling, “honour.”

My wedding is being held at home and is a religious ceremony. May I use “request the honour of your presence”?
The use of “request the honour of your presence” is reserved for weddings held on sanctified ground, so it’s not properly used for a wedding held at home

I just wanted to put this on here because while most people might not know the difference, it could potentially offend some church going guests who do know that "honor of your presence" is used only in a house of worship.

Maggie0829 · March 2014

tammym1001 said:

From the Crane's website:
Request Line

The request lines invite your guests to your wedding. The wording varies according to where the wedding is being held. The correct wording for a wedding held in a church, temple, synagogue or any house of worship is “request the honour of your presence.” The word “honour” is used to show deference to God whenever a wedding is held in a house of worship. For weddings held in any location other than a house of worship, “request the pleasure of your company” is used.

Which is more formal: “request the honour of your presence” or “request the pleasure of your company”?
Both phrases are equally formal. They are just used under different circumstances.

What is the correct spelling of “honor”?
Both “honour” and “honor” are correct. It’s a matter of personal preference, although most brides prefer the English spelling, “honour.”

My wedding is being held at home and is a religious ceremony. May I use “request the honour of your presence”?
The use of “request the honour of your presence” is reserved for weddings held on sanctified ground, so it’s not properly used for a wedding held at home

I just wanted to put this on here because while most people might not know the difference, it could potentially offend some church going guests who do know that "honor of your presence" is used only in a house of worship.

But to the red bolded. Who decided on that? According to CMGr it just is the way it is because it is tradition. So am I not allowed to use the word 'honor' in anything non-God related in life?

I am sorry but I don't care how far back this tradition goes, I considered it ridiculous and silly. Just because someone 200 years ago decided that this was the wording to use when getting married in a church doesn't mean that is now law. Again, tradition =/= etiquette and using the wording above is a tradition and not using it the way it was stated does not mean you are breaking etiquette. And if someone get offended by that wording then they have major issues.

jenna8984 · March 2014

I stand by the fact that it's totally bizarre and has no bearing on anything. Less than 1% of my guest list is "church going" so I will rest well at night that they are not offended.

tammym1001 · March 2014

@maggie0829 - Yeah I have no idea where it came from. I just wanted to put the information out there for people who were asking why it was different. I personally don't care what people put on their invitations as long as I know where to go and when.

Maggie0829 · March 2014

tammym1001 said:

@maggie0829 - Yeah I have no idea where it came from. I just wanted to put the information out there for people who were asking why it was different. I personally don't care what people put on their invitations as long as I know where to go and when.

It is good that you put it out there. And I agree with you that I don't care how people word their invitations because I really don't pay that close attention except to know the date, time and location.

I just think it is silly to say that Crane's is law when it comes to wording. I mean who are they to say that certain wording is right or wrong? Just because they have been around for 200 years doesn't mean that their word is law, it just means that people choose to believe them. Doesn't mean that people who choose not to follow their wording are wrong or rude or trying to be offensive.

**All of that was in general and wasn't directed towards you Tammy.

princessleia22 · March 2014

I did dark navy envelopes for my invites (colors are navy & silver). For return address, I got a rubber stamp that I used with metallic silver ink. For guest addresses, I used a metallic silver gel pen. I also bought a fine point silver sharpie and fine point silver calligraphy pen, and tried them all to see which I liked best.

singinchick13 · March 2014

To play devil's advocate, the guests do not know that there is no chapel at this particular B&B. Older guests likely would affiliate this wording with a church service if it is ingrained into their memory and dress accordingly, resulting in them potentially dressing a little more formally or 'covered up' than they may for a more relaxed location. I believe 'presence' is in fact a religious terminology, as the couple would like these people to be 'present' for the spiritual joining of two souls, or something to that effect.

There are aspects to CMGragain's suggestion you should not ignore, such as "marriage of their daughter __Bride___Middle___ TO __Groom__Last__" This is a major grammatical correction that is necessary for the phrase to make sense. I would also discuss with your FI before listing his stepmother as his mother. I come from the same family background as your FI, stepmother for over 20 years and have lived with her as long as I can remember, but she is still not my mother.

jenna8984 · March 2014

Also, as formal as it may be, middle names are not a requirement. I do not have a middle name so my invitation just said my super short first name. FI decided it looked really weird having my name that short and then his underneath being firstxxx middlexx lastxxxxxx so he cut out his middle name.

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