Did you make an ettiquette mistake?

JeeGooDowster · March 2014

I used "& Guest" on some of the invitations. For lurkers out there - you can EASILY correct this after your mishap by reaching out to the guests and putting the full names on the place cards.

Maggie0829 · March 2014

LDay2014 said:

I was going to make etiquette mistakes...but I listened, and I don't think I am at this point
Besides including RSVPs in our invites, which 'technically' is an etiquette breach.

Yeah I think this one is sort of nuts in the modern age (an excuse I don't like normally) - since technically, the appropriate way to RSVP is to send a hand-written letter on your own stationery to the B&G accepting the invitation, and this just isn't something 95% of people would ever do, this one is just dying a slow, quiet death. It's victimless so I don't think it matters.

I know nobody, even my parents friends who are in their 60's/70's who are aware of this. If I were to have sent an invite out without a RSVP included people would have been hella confused.

Oh and I also agree that I hate when couples get married in a church just to appease their family. My friend did this and it seriously irked me. He Mom even had the audacity to laugh at the idea of having a friend become an officiant and marry them. My friend told her Mom that I did just that and her Mom just rolled her eyes and said "that is not how it is done." It was all I could do from screaming at her.

ETA: paragraphs

classyduck · March 2014

grumbledore said:

LDay2014 said:

I was going to make etiquette mistakes...but I listened, and I don't think I am at this point
Besides including RSVPs in our invites, which 'technically' is an etiquette breach.

Yeah I think this one is sort of nuts in the modern age (an excuse I don't like normally) - since technically, the appropriate way to RSVP is to send a hand-written letter on your own stationery to the B&G accepting the invitation, and this just isn't something 95% of people would ever do, this one is just dying a slow, quiet death. It's victimless so I don't think it matters.

I like how you mentioned that it is victimless... I have been thinking about adult receptions. I met yesterday with one of the wedding planners available to me at my venue to discuss invitations. She asked us if we wanted an adult only reception, and suggested we put "Adult reception immediately following" at the bottom of the invite. I know this is a breech of etiquette, but sometimes I feel like this is one of those things that is quietly going away as well.

BUT, grumbledore's comment gives me pause. This one isn't victimless, so I'm rethinking this.

By the way, the venue I'm using is known far and wide. People come from miles away, and even vendors in Chicago are familiar with it. It's a very well-respected and well-reputed venue, and the planners here know their stuff. The fact that they suggested including the "Adult" qualification made me wonder just how a big a sin this is.

grumbledore · March 2014

Venues don't care if you're rude, so I would not take etiquette advice from them. Stating who is not invited on an invitation is still considered very rude by most reasonable people.

classyduck · March 2014

grumbledore said:

Venues don't care if you're rude, so I would not take etiquette advice from them. Stating who is not invited on an invitation is still considered very rude by most reasonable people.

Put that way, it makes complete sense. I think she tripped me up because she was stating who IS invited, not who isn't, but the implication of people not being invited is, of course, still there. I think I should do the gracious thing, and expect the best of my guests!

Also, regarding not caring if you are rude.. I never thought about it that way from the perspective of the venue. I'll have to keep that in mind!

jenniferurs · March 2014

carynNchan said:

I used "& Guest" on some of the invitations. For lurkers out there - you can EASILY correct this after your mishap by reaching out to the guests and putting the full names on the place cards.

This was my biggest faux pas. There were some instances where I didn't know the guest had recently started seeing someone, but almost everyone who RSVP'd yes provided the name of their guest and, if they didn't, I reached out to them to find out for purposes of escort/place cards.

I'm also playing a slideshow of pictures of my dad and I, set to the song we would have danced to, during the father/daughter dance (my dad passed about a year ago), which I've been told is inappropriate, because it can evoke feelings of sadness/grief, but I'm not budging on this one.

Did you make an ettiquette mistake?

Re: Did you make an ettiquette mistake?

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