Guest etiquette

jerkyanne · March 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

wamboy said:

@PrettyGirlLost Read all the posts, then think, then posts, why would I rehash everything I have already said for you?

I caught up and you didn't answer most of my questions: I am always curious as to why in the hell it
matters so much? Seriously, why do you care how your guests dress? So
what if they are underdressed, it will only reflect on them and they
will feel uncomfortable. Other than that, it doesn't affect you at all.

You are having a casual wedding. . . I know you said the theme is "rustic" but if you are encouraging people to wear jeans to your wedding that means your wedding is casual. So obviously you aren't concerned with people being underdressed, so why the big freaking deal?

And just because you take the time to tell people what your theme is and what you are encouraging them to wear, doesn't mean people are actually going to do it. People who don't seem to know how to dress for functions actually don't really give a shit and will just wear whatever the hell they care to.

ETA: I found a post I had missed. . . you want everyone to dress like ranchers because of the photos. Isn't getting a photo with your uncle more important to you than having your uncle pretend to look like a rancher for a day, though?

Stuck in the box

Exactly this.

MadHops21 · March 2014

STORY TIME!

At my cousin's wedding, one of the groomsmen got drunk and took off his shirt and started going hard on the dance floor. No one stared all night long or blamed the bride or groom or talked shit about them behind their back for this GM. The GM embarrassed himself. Not the bride and groom. Or the families, flower girls, officiant, table clothes, the chocolate frosting, or the ring bearer dog. Only the GM.

So turning away guests for showing up to celebrate your marriage because they are wearing the wrong foot wear (who the fuck looks at feet, anyway?) is just childish and selfish.

PrettyGirlLost · March 2014

wamboy said:

chibiyui said:

wamboy said:

phira said:

wamboy said:

@phira The dress code is just a guideline. Unless someone shows up looking completely haggard, probably nothing will be said.

What if someone shows up wearing shorts and flip-flops?

They will be asked to leave, it is not appropriate wedding attire whether we set a dress code or not.

You will ask somebody to leave your casual wedding if they show up in casual attire?

It isn't casual, do some research and causal does not equal slovenly.

Jeans, cowboy boots, and cowboy hats is definitely casual. Do you think that would be attire appropriate to wear to a formal function, such as an evening performance on Broadway or a formal dinner party?

If not, then it's because it's casual attire. Casual doesn't equal slovenly as you said, but cowboy boots and jeans don't equal formal either.

Let's be honest here: You want all of your friends and family to dress as ranchers or cowboys so that you get a certain "look" in all of your photos, right?

phira · March 2014

I'm just sitting here chuckling because that attire (sundresses, cowboy boots, jeans) would not actually be formal enough for our wedding.

Look, who CARES what people wear? No, really. Who cares? Will it ruin your wedding? Really?

PrettyGirlLost · March 2014

phira said:

I'm just sitting here chuckling because that attire (sundresses, cowboy boots, jeans) would not actually be formal enough for our wedding.

Look, who CARES what people wear? No, really. Who cares? Will it ruin your wedding? Really?

It will ruin her photos. That's why she cares.

MadHops21 · March 2014

I think she's too busy to answer right now.

Her current situation:

chibiyui · March 2014

MadHops21 said:

STORY TIME!

At my cousin's wedding, one of the groomsmen got drunk and took off his shirt and started going hard on the dance floor. No one stared all night long or blamed the bride or groom or talked shit about them behind their back for this GM. The GM embarrassed himself. Not the bride and groom. Or the families, flower girls, officiant, table clothes, the chocolate frosting, or the ring bearer dog. Only the GM.

So turning away guests for showing up to celebrate your marriage because they are wearing the wrong foot wear (who the fuck looks at feet, anyway?) is just childish and selfish.

At my sisters wedding, one of our aunts showed up in a skin-tight, short, skimpy cocktail dress. A couple guests came up to my sister and asked her how she felt about it. Her answer was something along the lines of "Why the fuck should I care what someone else is wearing? If she's comfortable, who cares?"

jerkyanne · March 2014

If her photos aren't perfect people won't repin them on pintrest. Priorities people!

MadHops21 · March 2014

jerkyanne said:

If her photos aren't perfect people won't repin them on pintrest. Priorities people!

Oh shit, not the pictures!!

jerkyanne · March 2014

MadHops21 said:

jerkyanne said:

If her photos aren't perfect people won't repin them on pintrest. Priorities people!

Oh shit, not the pictures!!

Jeez! What is that bridemaid thinking?! She didn't cover her tattoos?! The WP pictures are ruined!

MadHops21 · March 2014

jerkyanne said:

jerkyanne said:

If her photos aren't perfect people won't repin them on pintrest. Priorities people!

Oh shit, not the pictures!!

Jeez! What is that bridemaid thinking?! She didn't cover her tattoos?! The WP pictures are ruined!

Completely ruined the photo. Not uniform at all. And I was hoping BM #4 would have followed that work out regime I emailed everyone for my rules of BM. Her butt is making the photo look bad!

singinchick13 · March 2014

This is how I would show up to @wamboy 's wedding.

FYI this is an actual pic of me a few years ago on Halloween at the country bar I worked at.

MadHops21 · March 2014

singinchick13 I dunno, are you wearing a belly ring with a heart symbol? She will kick you out if it's anything but a heart symbol. You know, to symbolize wedding.

singinchick13 · March 2014

What if I found one that had a pitchfork on it? That's pretty 'Ranch-y', right?

AllOnOneDay · March 2014

Well, my black tie wedding is requiring the best man to wear his formal kilt wear (but no knife, not sure if that violates the formal rules) and MOH is wearing her tartan sash. Heck, I'm forcing my other ladies in either navy or gray dresses to not clash. Because I'm a old broad who wants her friends to have lovely dresses they can wear later.

At MOH and best man's wedding 7 years ago, the kilts were worn by more gentlemen than semi formal suits. I needed a drool rag about those calves.

Here's what I would do -

Get your fiancée in agreement with a mutually acceptable solution.

Get the information on why kilts are true black tie formal.

Sit down with future in laws. Figure out the issue. Present solution. If they shriek and moan, don't attend.

LondonLisa · March 2014

Do you remember that horrible story on here where someone showed up to that couple's wedding in jeans? The invitation was formal and this guy just rocked up into the church wearing dirty, ripped jeans. A lot of the guests were so disgusted that they picked up their gifts and left. The vicar was even so offended about jeans in his church that he refused to marry the couple because they should have dictated a dress code. So this poor couple lost thousands on their wedding and worse, most of their friends over the dress of this one guest. And to top it all off they didn't even get married! They broke up six months later over the shame of it all.

No? You don't? Shocker! Because this situation would never happen. Ever. It doesn't matter what other people wear to your wedding. They should know based on the formality of invitation but they don't need it spelled out for them. And if someone wears jeans, who cares? It only reflects on them.

Don't tell other adults how to dress. End. Of. Story.

The bitching and moaning about how others HAVE to dress according to the theme reminds me of that MTV Sweet 16 show where all the dumb little girls where idiotically saying "if you don't follow the theme you won't be let in!" They looked rude and tacky saying that then, and you look rude and tacky saying it now.

cruffino · March 2014

singinchick13 said:
This is how I would show up to @wamboy 's wedding.

FYI this is an actual pic of me a few years ago on Halloween at the country bar I worked at.

Just add a bolo tie and you're golden.

emmaaa · March 2014

@bethangel2332 OMG, no one in my family is Scottish or Irish! We are German and Native American for God's sake! If my uncle would do the formal kilt I would be fine with it, but he won't ... so no! While you may trust others opinions as fact and on face value I don't. Show me proof, if you can't, it's an opinion. That is all! Additionally, there are a wide variety of acceptable dress codes other than black or white tie, who told you people those were the only two dress codes?! And why the hell would you take someone's word for it without checking it out yourself?! Geez!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Stuck in box!
This is funny that you wanthim to wear a formal kilt to a rustic themed wedding. didn't you say that it isn't a formal event? @wamboy

climbingsingle · March 2014

wamboy said:

@banana468 No I'm not here to stir up anything, you should read my original posts. However that said I have never seen such a bunch of uptight yuppy wanna-be right know nothing opinionated broads with nothing of a real basis to say except to want to participate in caddy high school mean girl behavior. Want to see a chicks real colors, put her on a wedding community board where she will think she rules the world and her opinion is the only one that matters.

I haven't gotten through this whole post yet (obviously), but this is so fucking ridiculous, I just can't! An uptight, yuppie bride would dictate to her guests what kind of attire they can wear. Guess what @wamboy - that's YOU.

cupcait927 · March 2014

@wamboy I just don't understand why you would have a small wedding, where you're obviously only inviting the people most important to you, only to ask people to leave if they don't dress appropriately for your theme (and pretty pictures)? If someone is that important to be invited to your small wedding, why on earth would you care what they wore and risk hurting THEIR feelings and harming your relationship with them? That just makes me sad. I could never imagine asking any of my family members to leave my wedding, regardless of how they are dressed. I would just be so happy that they came to celebrate the beginning of the next chapter of my life, not what they wore. And wouldn't you think that maybe you'd laugh about it later on, when telling your children about your wedding day? I promise that it won't ruin your day. Promise.

kgd7357 · March 2014

I HOPE someone shows up in a kilt at our wedding. That would be awesome. How unique!

sarahufl · March 2014

wow, this post makes me really, really happy I am not friends with OP. She sounds terrible.

SammiNJonni · March 2014

sarahufl said:

wow, this post makes me really, really happy I am not friends with OP. She sounds terrible.

Um... OP is the guy who wants to wear a kilt. I am pretty sure you mean wamboy

sarahufl · March 2014

SammiNJonni said:

sarahufl said:

wow, this post makes me really, really happy I am not friends with OP. She sounds terrible.

Um... OP is the guy who wants to wear a kilt. I am pretty sure you mean wamboy

SammiNJonni hahahahaha, oops! I started reading this thread when it had, like, 6 replies. Wamboy really hijacked the thread. Sorry, OP!

ETA: I think the kilt sounds fabulous. I would never tell my guests how to dress.

AprilH81 · March 2014

wamboy said:

Small narrow minds ... You think it's ok to require someone to wear kilts but not jeans? To tell parents you can't bring your CHILDREN because I'm cheap (which is insanely rude) but not jeans are acceptable. You guys are why weddings are looked down on anymore, no one wants to deal with such shallow mean spirited judgement from people who don't matter.

No one said anything about REQUIRING kilts. The OP wanted to wear his kilt and his future SIL told him not to. Everyone chimed in that the BRIDE was being rude and to wear the kilt if he wanted to. You may want to work on your reading comprehension...

sofakingmad · March 2014

wamboy said:

Small narrow minds ... You think it's ok to require someone to wear kilts but not jeans? To tell parents you can't bring your CHILDREN because I'm cheap (which is insanely rude) but not jeans are acceptable. You guys are why weddings are looked down on anymore, no one wants to deal with such shallow mean spirited judgement from people who don't matter.

You are really confused.

SammiNJonni · March 2014

wamboy said:

Small narrow minds ... You think it's ok to require someone to wear kilts but not jeans? To tell parents you can't bring your CHILDREN because I'm cheap (which is insanely rude) but not jeans are acceptable. You guys are why weddings are looked down on anymore, no one wants to deal with such shallow mean spirited judgement from people who don't matter.

1 No one is requiring kilts.
2 Some events are not appropriate for children. Weddings can be one of them.

emmaaa · March 2014

wamboy said:

Small narrow minds ... You think it's ok to require someone to wear kilts but not jeans? To tell parents you can't bring your CHILDREN because I'm cheap (which is insanely rude) but not jeans are acceptable. You guys are why weddings are looked down on anymore, no one wants to deal with such shallow mean spirited judgement from people who don't matter.

@wamboy No one is requiring kilts. No one said jeans were not appropriate. Everyone said that people should be allowed to wear whatever they want to regardless of your ridiculous theme.

I'm not even going to touch on the children part because that is irrelevant in this discussion.

NYCBruin · March 2014

wamboy said:

Small narrow minds ... You think it's ok to require someone to wear kilts but not jeans? To tell parents you can't bring your CHILDREN because I'm cheap (which is insanely rude) but not jeans are acceptable. You guys are why weddings are looked down on anymore, no one wants to deal with such shallow mean spirited judgement from people who don't matter.

Your reading comprehension skills have gotten even worse. When did anyone say they were requiring kilts?

sofakingmad · March 2014

wamboy said:

It's only ridiculous to you but I'm pretty sure your I wanna be a princess dress is ridiculous to me.

Keep digging that hole my friend, keep digging.

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