Guest etiquette

abbyj700 · March 2014

ckel24 said:

@wamboy I just don't understand why you would have a small wedding, where you're obviously only inviting the people most important to you, only to ask people to leave if they don't dress appropriately for your theme (and pretty pictures)? If someone is that important to be invited to your small wedding, why on earth would you care what they wore and risk hurting THEIR feelings and harming your relationship with them? That just makes me sad. I could never imagine asking any of my family members to leave my wedding, regardless of how they are dressed. I would just be so happy that they came to celebrate the beginning of the next chapter of my life, not what they wore. And wouldn't you think that maybe you'd laugh about it later on, when telling your children about your wedding day? I promise that it won't ruin your day. Promise.

All kinds of this. You are having the 30 most important people in your life at your wedding - and would risk ending the relationship by throwing someone out? That is completely sad. Why is what they wear a priority over your love for them?

emmaaa · March 2014

wamboy said:

It's only ridiculous to you but I'm pretty sure your I wanna be a princess dress is ridiculous to me.

@wamboy If you need to reply to me, either quote me or @ my name.

And I'm so glad that you think I have a princess dress. And if I did, why does that matter if that is what I want to wear? And how does that relate to your "theme?" Weddings do not need a theme. The theme is marriage?

Coming from a southerner, born and raised on a farm, who has been covered in manuer, had to chase cows and hogs, and worked in a garden: I find "rustic" "country" themes funny because there is nothing glamorous about that.

So go on and continue being rude to your guests, you obviously don't care and are the only bridezilla here.

NYCBruin · March 2014

wamboy said:

@allinoneday is requiring kilts read the post people before you deny something in writing

Quote please.

And if that's the case, requiring guests to wear a kilt would also be rude.

climbingsingle · March 2014

IT'S NOT OK TO TELL YOUR GUESTS WHAT TO WEAR! That goes for jeans, kilts or fucking pajamas. Why is that so hard for you to understand??

emmaaa · March 2014

wamboy said:

Why is hard for you to understand it isn't ok to verbally attack demean or otherwise be rude to try and prove your point or to speak for people you don't know. Don't make sweeping generalizations about my fiends and family whom you don't know.

This really is irony at its finest.

OliveOilsMom · March 2014

wamboy said:

@allinoneday is requiring kilts read the post people before you deny something in writing

Actually, the kilt is for the BM and the tartan sash is for the MOH. It is perfectly acceptable for the B&G to dictate the attire of their wedding party, within their budget. It is never acceptable for a B&G to dictate attire to the wedding guests!

abbyj700 · March 2014

wamboy said:

I disagree if your worried about imposing cost on others you should let them wear what they want. They are already putting out huge expenses for showers gifts and parties and you want more? Now if your not worried about imposing those costs on others fine, but you can't argue otherwise when it benefits you.

Actually - their only cost is attire for your wedding day. You cannot require they give gifts or throw parties. That is not the responsibility of your wedding party. They can elect to do these things but they are not obligated to.

jerkyanne · March 2014

wamboy said:
You really ought to read the entire post, this really only applies to one person I invited out of obligation to my parents, so in that one instance it wouldn't bother me. If what I am asking is not unreasonable to the 30 guests coming, and if what a group of people believe determines etiquette, then it isn't rude or against etiquette because they don't have an issue with it.

Once again, just because people don't tell you that you're offended doesn't mean that they aren't offended.

phira · March 2014

Ahahaha this is still going on.

rajahmd · March 2014

@KnotPorscha

Any bets on how long it will take for KP to finally show up?

PrettyGirlLost · March 2014

wamboy said:

Small narrow minds ... You think it's ok to require someone to wear kilts but not jeans? No one said this at all. We are saying that a bride requiring any guest to wear anything specific is rude. The only exception to this rule is if the venue has a dress code- like a country club requiring men to wear jackets, or if your wedding is truly black tie. To tell parents you can't bring your CHILDREN because I'm cheap (which is insanely rude) but not jeans are acceptable. Again, no one said this. A couple is well within their rights to have a child free wedding. What they cannot do is be so rude as to write "Adult Only" or "No Kids" or something gauche like that on the invitations.

While I personally hate the bridal and BM gowns and cowboy boot look, and would never ever dream of wearing jeans to a person's wedding, there is nothing wrong with that look nor is there anything wrong with having a casual wedding. Nothing in the slightest. But that does not make it OK for you to have a dress code that you are planning on enforcing, just because you have one particular relative who likes to wear a utili-kilt and motorcycle boots.

Stop trying to micromanage your friends and family, stop trying to be so controlling, and start focusing on the fact that you are going to be getting married and get to spend that day with very close family and friends. How they look in your pictures should not be a priority and a cause for this much concern, and if it is you are really doing it wrong. A wedding is a big fucking deal, when you think about what is actually happening on that day. It's a serious commitment that will hopefully last your entire lives. So with that in mind, your pictures are not as big a fucking deal as you are making them; your wedding is NOT just another photo op for a bridal mag or Pinterest boards.

You guys are why weddings are looked down on anymore, no one wants to deal with such shallow mean spirited judgement from people who don't matter. I don't know a single person who looks down on weddings, lol. Most people rather enjoy them and look forward to them. And while our judgement might not matter to you, I should hope the judgement of your friends and family does, and therefore you would forsake cutsey pictures in order to not piss them off or offend them.

AprilH81 · March 2014

RajahBMFD said:

@KnotPorscha Any bets on how long it will take for KP to finally show up?

I have $5 that she finally gets around to this board at 2:17 this afternoon.

emmaaa · March 2014

wamboy said:

Your assuming my family and friends have an issue with this and they don't, so why do you. I hate wanna be a princess weddings. I don't like extravagance and I don't like pretending your something your not but most weddings now are a show not a wedding, my opinion I'm entitled to it but I don't to tell you because your having 300 guests and spend a ridiculous amount of money on a dress you will wear once that makes you look like a little girl pretending to be a princess and not a woman making a commitment to another adult for the rest of your life that your doing it wrong.

I'm not sure where this is coming from? No one is telling you to have a princess wedding.

abbyj700 · March 2014

wamboy said:

Your assuming my family and friends have an issue with this and they don't, so why do you. I hate wanna be a princess weddings. I don't like extravagance and I don't like pretending your something your not but most weddings now are a show not a wedding, my opinion I'm entitled to it but I don't to tell you because your having 300 guests and spend a ridiculous amount of money on a dress you will wear once that makes you look like a little girl pretending to be a princess and not a woman making a commitment to another adult for the rest of your life that your doing it wrong.

You cannot assume that you know that they don't have an issue with you dictating their dress. Just like us - you have no idea. So as people have repeated to you - it's rude to dictate dress to adults. Yes - 95% of them may not care (but again you DON"T KNOW) but why change offending 5% of them because you want your pictures to look good? You're have 30 people at your wedding that you love - they are more important than you wanting to dictate some fairy tale idea in your head for "theme", "feel" and pictures.

Guest etiquette

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