When 'It's My Wedding' is acceptable

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

Based on the behemoth of a thread below, we clearly need to start a thread, and then have it made into a sticky, that details when it is acceptable to use the expression, 'It's MY Wedding' to win an argument.

ETA: Edited to include @Jells2dot0's excellent suggestion that many of these apply ONLY when you and your FI are paying for your wedding yourselves; if other people are paying, you do not get to use 'It's MY Wedding' to win arguments on things that involve money -- i.e., regardless of who is paying, you get to choose your attendants, but if your parents are paying, they get a say in the flowers.

(N.B. -- In all instances going forward, 'my' should be read in the plural, because of course the FI gets a say, too)

1. It's my wedding...so I get to choose the religious (or lack thereof) ceremony

2. It's my wedding...so I get to choose the colours of the palette we use

3. It's my wedding...so I get to have the foods I like at the reception, even if that means roasted turkey in July

4. It's my wedding...so I get to choose my bridal attendants.

5. It's my wedding...so I get to choose the centrepieces and I happen to love upcycled, mis-matched glass vases filled with coloured stones and different flowers in our colours.

And GO!

afox007 · April 2014

It's my wedding...so I got to choose the groom!

kaos16 · April 2014

it's my wedding........so I can have a cash bar and money dance!

Shoot, I'm a day late for April Fools!!!

phira · April 2014

It's my wedding ... so I can wear whatever attire I'd like.

It's my wedding ... so I can skip the bouquet toss/garter toss.

It's my wedding ... so I can pick the date.

melbelleup · April 2014

It's my wedding so I get to choose the dessert (both flavor and how it looks)

It's my wedding so I get to choose the favor (or no favor)

It's my wedding so I get to choose the flowers

beharrington · April 2014

It's my wedding ... so I get to choose the music at the reception.

Aray82 · April 2014

I get to pick the dress, and FI gets to pick the suit or tux! He really wants to wear a tux, even though our wedding is before 6pm, which I think is OK since I got to pick whatever dress I wanted.

I get to choose whatever reception traditions we have or don't have (as long as they're within etiquette), and I don't have to do the bouquet toss! (Already got a bit of surprised looks and comments that this wouldn't be happening...)

grumbledore · April 2014

Good call.

It's my wedding... so I get to decide whether to serve alcohol or not (as long as I pay for whatever I offer)!

Jells2dot0 · April 2014

Good thread, though some of these may need to be caveated with "Since we're paying for the wedding." if your parents budgeted $2k for flowers, you accepted the offer, chose $10k worth, and refuse to pay for the additional $8k, then you do not get a full say.

Artemischief · April 2014

It's my wedding.....so I get to decide what time it starts.

It's my wedding.....so I get to decide if a large portion of my budget goes to photography, especially since WE are paying.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2014

It's my wedding ... so as long as I end up married to my love at the end of the day, no one else's actions or behavior will ruin it for me.

It's my wedding... so the people who love me are pretty excited for it too, and therefore deserve to be treated and hosted well.

It's my wedding... but it's not the most important day of anyone else's life, so I won't be offended if their priorities clash with mine.

It's my wedding... not the coronation of a queen, so my expectations are realistic and appropriate.

It's my wedding... so I am responsible for staying within a budget, and will not make demands or assumptions of my family for funds which have not already been generously offered, based on outdated traditions.

happywiggle · April 2014

kaos16 said:

it's my wedding........so I can have a cash bar and money dance!

Shoot, I'm a day late for April Fools!!!

Phew *wipes forehead* you had me worried for a second haha

happywiggle · April 2014

It's MY wedding, so WE can decide if we want to elope.

It's MY wedding, so WE can decide who will be the person to marry us.

CamiSelene · April 2014

It's my wedding... so I get to choose the location.

FI's family suggested doing it in his hometown... would have been cheaper but it's 6 hours away from where my family is so we chose a halfway point for both families (which means almost all of our guests are OOT, unfortunately. We do get to get married at the same place we got engaged though!)

emmaaa · April 2014

It's my wedding...so I get to turn down showers.

It's my wedding...so I get to have a long or short engagement.

It's my wedding...so I will treat my guests (those I obviously cared enough about to invite) properly to thank them for coming.

abbyj700 · April 2014

It's my wedding - so I get to feel like a princess without acting like one.

It's my wedding - so I will register for what fits us - if it's kitchen gadgets and lawn tools instead of China and Crystal (or vice versa) - so be it!

Inkdancer · April 2014

It's my wedding... so grim predictions about the divorce rate will not be accepted silently.

It's my wedding... so I get to decide how many people are invited to the rehearsal dinner.

phira · April 2014

@Inkdancer Ugh. I come from a family where divorce is a Thing (my parents, my brother, and my uncle are all divorced), and I know it makes my partner's family very uncomfortable. But to me, choosing to enter into marriage in a culture where divorce is a thing that happens shows, if anything, a fearless, joyous, hopeful enthusiasm for marriage. Instead of feeling like, "Oh, well, if this is a mistake, I can just get a divorce," I feel like, "I have seen lots of marriages end, so I want to make sure that I'm entering into a happy marriage that likely will not end."

HaileyDancingbear · April 2014

It's my wedding… So I have nobody else to blame if I lose friends over it (Exceptions include people who are legitimately the source of the problem, such as "Friend hit on FI" or "Friend tried to cancel contracts with vendors behind my back" or "Friend's jealousy issues are now putting a wedge between us" etc. - exceptions do not include "Why is my BM mad at me for firing her for getting pregnant???" etc.)

It's my wedding… So I can skip as many TRADITIONS as I want, it's still my wedding if I'm married by the end of the day!

And I will put the classic line in there, with a small addition:

It's my wedding so I can break as many etiquette rules as I want (As technically nobody is putting a gun to anyone's head over it,)… But refer to the first "It's my wedding" I posted and stop asking/whining at us for advice you won't take on decisions you've already made.

anndee2020 · April 2014

It's my wedding (which we're paying for) ... so my religious grandmother does not get to look down on us for not having it in a church but instead in a beautiful indoor flower garden with enough seats for every guest and temperature control.

Simply Fated · April 2014

It's my wedding... I get to decide where I stay the night before.

It's my wedding... we get to decide if we want your snotty kids in our bridal party or not.

Cookie Pusher · April 2014

It's my wedding... and I get to decide what my planning timeline is.

It's my wedding... and I don't have to register for stuff I don't need just to make you happy.

It's my wedding... and it will still be legally binding even if I don't have an engagement party/bridal shower/bachelorette party.

It's my wedding... and I will not invite people who I don't know simply to get their gifts.

It's my wedding... and I do not, under any circumstances, get a "do over" because it didn't turn out the way that you, I, or anyone else wanted.

beharrington · April 2014

It's my wedding ... I get to chose whatever color dress I want to wear (all purity nonsense be damned).

ETA: grammer

jdluvr06 · April 2014

It's my wedding and I don't have to register if I don't want to

phira · April 2014

It's my wedding and I can have paper flowers if I want to have paper flowers.

Pepper6 · April 2014

It's MY wedding....so I have absolute say, without consideration to anyone else's preferences, for anything/everything that does not affect how I host my guests, such as:

- Wedding colors

- My dress

- Traditions we want or don't want to incorporate (bouquet/garter toss)

- Inclusion or exclusion of religion

- Amount/type of decorations

ashleyep · April 2014

It's MY wedding ... so I don't have to invite that extended my family member I haven't seen since I was 3.

It's MY wedding ... so I don't have to do a money dance, even if it is "family tradition"

thisismynickname2 · April 2014

IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO!

CRY IF I WANT TO!

I really couldn't resist. Carry on!

It's my wedding.... so if I don't want to make my bridesmaids wear matching dresses, they won't wear matching dresses, and the pictures won't look tacky.

lookame3639 · April 2014

It's my wedding so I can not invite FI sister (who physically assaulted me) if i don't want to.

It's my wedding so I can choose to go to dinner instead of having a fancy reception(still hosted by us of coarse)

it's my wedding so I can have it at a destination about an hour and a half away if i want

it's my wedding and I'll have a brooch bouquet and no flowers

manateehugger · April 2014

It's my wedding...so I can choose whomever I want to walk me down the aisle.

It makes me so sad when brides post on here about having poor relationships with bio dad, but think they have to pick him over the uncle who has always been there for her just because the guy is her bio dad.

sarawifenow · April 2014

It's my wedding...I get to pick who I (and who I don't) walk down the aisle with.

It's my wedding...FI and I can dance to whatever damn song we please!

It's my wedding...I can still be a gracious host and still be on a budget.

When 'It's My Wedding' is acceptable

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