You know the whole "no one cares as much about your wedding as you do"....

sassyfrass2014 · April 2014

Meh, I think they're pretty AWish if it's its own party. If a sex-reveal is done at a baby shower with your loved ones there already (like when they cut the cake) then I think it's pretty cute!

It's definitely not necessary. It's totally fine not to know and do a gender neutral nursery. The doctors didn't even know if I were a boy or a girl until two days before I was born (my legs were crossed in-utero.)

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

I think my cousin handled the gender reveal perfectly. They invited both sets of grandparents-to-be over for a small "party" of six people, because both sets of grandparents were over the moon about getting a grandchild. They had little cupcakes for the grandparents and it was sweet and simple. It was perfect for the people who were over the moon without being AWish. The only reason I know is because my aunt was so excited to get another granddaughter (first from that son) she called all her siblings (=my parents). It was sweet.

NavyBlue143 · April 2014

I understand if it's just family. Or my friend did a gender reveal just to her sons. They opened a box that had blue streamers in it and were so excited they were having another brother. That was cute.

cupcait927 · April 2014

@blueeyes90 now that is just perfect! I even kind of want to copy it some day when I have kids.

cms519 · April 2014

I'm anti-gender reveal but I also hate showers. It's not that I don't think people should get presents. I'm all for giving presents, as long as I don't have to sit there and watch people open them! The only times I want to watch people open presents are Christmas and children's birthday parties. And sometime between ages 10 and 12, I think children's birthday parties for extended family should end.

I'm pro-graduation party, especially college, since it's a big achievement. I'm also "pro" big celebratory anniversary (25, 40, 50 years married), milestone birthdays (although I don't want one for myself), and well, I think that's it.

I think gender reveals are tacky, as are engagement parties and adults who expect big birthday celebrations every year.

Inkdancer · April 2014

cms519 said:

I'm anti-gender reveal but I also hate showers. It's not that I don't think people should get presents. I'm all for giving presents, as long as I don't have to sit there and watch people open them! The only times I want to watch people open presents are Christmas and children's birthday parties. And sometime between ages 10 and 12, I think children's birthday parties for extended family should end.

I'm pro-graduation party, especially college, since it's a big achievement. I'm also "pro" big celebratory anniversary (25, 40, 50 years married), milestone birthdays (although I don't want one for myself), and well, I think that's it.

I think gender reveals are tacky, as are engagement parties and adults who expect big birthday celebrations every year.

This all the way around. You didn't achieve much by turning 32, and that doesn't necessarily warrant a huge celebration. Graduations, first kids, and new jobs are things I want to party for!

Although I do sort of like engagement parties. It's nice if they are low-key, and then you can congratulate the couple on their happiness without needing to give gifts like you would at a shower.

SmileDamnit · April 2014

Apparently I'm easy. I like any party/celebration/shower/gathering/BBQ/fiesta/shindig that has a mimosa &/or bloody mary bar and cake. I could care less if it's blue, pink or rainbow...just share the sugar and keep the cocktails flowing, please.

cms519 · April 2014

Niccirf said:

Apparently I'm easy. I like any party/celebration/shower/gathering/BBQ/fiesta/shindig that has a mimosa &/or bloody mary bar and cake. I could care less if it's blue, pink or rainbow...just share the sugar and keep the cocktails flowing, please.

Maybe my problem is that I don't eat cake!

jenna8984 · April 2014

cms519 said:

Niccirf said:

Apparently I'm easy. I like any party/celebration/shower/gathering/BBQ/fiesta/shindig that has a mimosa &/or bloody mary bar and cake. I could care less if it's blue, pink or rainbow...just share the sugar and keep the cocktails flowing, please.

Maybe my problem is that I don't eat cake!

hahahah Same here!! I find all showers and get together BOOOORING. I don't know if it's my lack of cake enjoyment, my soberness (6 years) or just that people I know have boring parties lol

thisismynickname2 · April 2014

I agree that plenty of people enjoy any reason to celebrate life's many joys. Although I hate bridal showers, I adore baby showers as it's **usually** the one party to celebrate the mom and arrival of a child. All that being said!! Those who have Gender Reveal Parties are usually the same people who have multiple baby showers, post weekly "look at my bump!" photos on Facebook, etc. That's what I have an issue with. If there is a Major Life Event, in my mind you get ONE celebration of said event. I'm thrilled for friends and families that have babies, but how many times do I have to celebrate them? Edit: clarity

Inkdancer · April 2014

jenna8984 said:

cms519 said:

Niccirf said:

Apparently I'm easy. I like any party/celebration/shower/gathering/BBQ/fiesta/shindig that has a mimosa &/or bloody mary bar and cake. I could care less if it's blue, pink or rainbow...just share the sugar and keep the cocktails flowing, please.

Maybe my problem is that I don't eat cake!

hahahah Same here!! I find all showers and get together BOOOORING. I don't know if it's my lack of cake enjoyment, my soberness (6 years) or just that people I know have boring parties lol

I am totally with you. FI and I rarely drink, and only ever have 1 drink a night (history of alcoholism in both families). At his engagement party, my FI's brother did a keg stand in front of his father and grandmother, and everybody thought it was cute and funny. I was appalled. Getting trashed and gossipping is not my idea of a good party.

Fortunately FILs always cater with enough food for twice as many guests, so FI and I chill by the food and play pool.

shaylagirl · April 2014

mbross3 said:

shaylagirl said:

Sex reveal parties are stupid. Seriously. Who gives a flying flip what your child has between it's legs? Does it change history if your kid is a dangler or has an innie? NOPE!! This is the one thing I agree with the crazy Bumpies about (oh, and also the use of 'sex' vs. 'gender' since gender isn't related to what's between your legs).

I'm not finding out the sex of my baby, though we've got our anatomy scan on the 14th (team Green baby here).

Are people irritated that we're not finding out? Sure they are. Even DH wants to know (which I said was fine, but make sure you don't tell me! He opted to not find out either since he's a blabber mouth).

But, let's be real; ultrasounds and determining sex is still a relatively new technology. People had to wait "back in the day" and it didn't impact a thing.

And, really, will you love your baby any less if they have an outtie or an innie? NOPE!! That's still YOUR baby. Their sex doesn't impact a damn thing except how people spend money.

Thank you for saying this! I was just about to do that when I saw your post!

I can't get behind a sex reveal party either. Baby showers, fine. I can understand that and sure celebrating new life can be fun (especially if there's cake and wine involved). I just hate how gendered everything around babies becomes. You reveal that your baby's sex is male and all of a sudden everything is blue and has prints of cars on it. Why not celebrate that you're having a healthy, baby human being and allow the gender and identify of that child to develop as he or she grows rather than forcing him/her into a box before they're even born!

Thank you right back because I agree with you too!

100% agree that everything becomes so "boy v. girl" in regards to colors and themes.

I could care less, and my baby could care less if they're in a color that is stereotypically considered to be the "wrong" color. So what if a baby boy is wearing a pink onesie? He's dressed, isn't he?

Also, there are so MANY neutral themes out there, and babies don't care. Those "themes" are for mom/dad/grandparents/etc.

What if a little boy wants Barbie instead of GI Joe? Cool! Or a little girl wants Tonka trucks instead of My Little Pony? Awesome! Of course, I'm a little biased; I LOVED my Tonka trucks (and my MLP toys too).

I know our kid's layette theme is "jungle creatures"; giraffes and elephants and monkeys and such.

Until our baby's born, I'm good not knowing what the sex is. I'll find out soon enough!

That said...while I love an excuse for cake, I can't justify wanting to do a sex reveal just to eat cake. I'll make myself a cake so I don't have to share. Because I'm selfish that way. (KIDDING!!)

jdluvr06 · April 2014

cms519 said:

Niccirf said:

Apparently I'm easy. I like any party/celebration/shower/gathering/BBQ/fiesta/shindig that has a mimosa &/or bloody mary bar and cake. I could care less if it's blue, pink or rainbow...just share the sugar and keep the cocktails flowing, please.

Maybe my problem is that I don't eat cake!

hahahah Same here!! I find all showers and get together BOOOORING. I don't know if it's my lack of cake enjoyment, my soberness (6 years) or just that people I know have boring parties lol

I love most parties, except for showers. Unless you're a little kid I don't need to see you opening presents. So I would prefer a gender reveal party over a shower. Lol. The weird thing is I love buying gifts but I hate watching people open them.

MobKaz · April 2014

I typically steer clear of anything that draws attention to myself. I've even gone so far as to not tell colleagues I am leaving a position in an attempt to avoid any type of farewell/send-off. Heck, I managed to ditch staff photos for eight years at one position.

By extension, I typically did not speak often about achievements of my children. There were no honor roll bumper stickers or newspaper announcements.

However, we did combine our (German version of our) St. Patrick's Day party with a surprise mini reveal for my daughter. She had suffered 3 miscarriages prior to this pregnancy, and our family mourned for her and her husband each time. She didn't even reveal her pregnancy until the beginning of March. (She is due August 1.) We had our typical party and menu. When dessert time rolled around, DD and SIL served cupcakes that were adorned with bows and mustaches. We simply told family to take a guess and take a bite. The filling inside revealed a baby girl was joining our family.

The party was immediate family only. We felt it was an unusual circumstance. I personally prefer not to know gender prior to the birth because I feel strongly that gender is truly one of life's last real surprises.

sarahufl · April 2014

I think they are ridiculous in general. As PPs said, I blame Pinterest. Never heard of these things till it came around. I love babies more than most things and have 3 nieces. I will never forget the night my sister had her baby and called me at midnight to tell me what she had. I personally like to wait to find out and will do that with my future kids.

ashley8918 · April 2014

lovesclimbing said:

Yea, I don't get the point. And H and I probably will not find out the gender of any kids we have before they're born. At least, I don't want to tell people. I do not want to get all pink or all blue at any showers. I prefer more neutral clothes. And I really hate pink. Sure, any daughter will have a few pink outfits, but she will have no more pink outfits than she has any other color until and unless she decides she really likes pink and wants more pink clothes. I really hate that girls get stuck in this little box of being a pink floofy princess from the time people find out they're a girl

/End rant.

SO MUCH THIS.

I DESPISE gender stereotypes.

ashley8918 · April 2014

I feel like such a dummy because i cannot figure out all of these acronyms. I just can't keep them all straight! What is 'AW'?

FiancB · April 2014

ashley8918 said:

I feel like such a dummy because i cannot figure out all of these acronyms. I just can't keep them all straight! What is 'AW'?

Attention Whore

I think it's cute with a baby shower, or in one recent poster's case with a wedding if you so happen to be pregnant at the time. Not for its own party.

I'm not even sure if I want to know the gender of my baby!

I would actually prefer gender neutral stuff. I do not like the focus on what an up-and-coming baby's sex is and the gender reveal party just magnifies that even more. It really shouldn't matter and it certainly doesn't call for its own party so that you can have a pink-or-blue-splosion of gifts.

MobKaz · April 2014

ashley8918 said:

I feel like such a dummy because i cannot figure out all of these acronyms. I just can't keep them all straight! What is 'AW'?

This is not an all inclusive list, but I hope this helps..........

Frequently Used Knottie Lingo

Abbreviation	Meaning
BC, BCP	Birth Control, Birth Control Pills
BF	Boyfriend or Best Friend
BM	Bridesmaid or Best Man
BP	Bridal Party
BTW	By The Way
C&P	Copy and Paste
DD	Dirty Delete
DF	Dear Fiance
DH	Darling Husband
DW	Destination Wedding
E-ring	Engagement Ring
E-party	Engagement Party
FG	Flower Girl
FI	Fiance
FIL	Father-In-Law
FILs	Future In-Laws
FBIL	Future Brother-In-Law
FFIL	Future Father-In-Law
FMIL	Future Mother-In-Law
FSIL	Future Sister-In-Law
GF	Girlfriend
GM	Groomsmen
GTG	Knottie Get Together
HM	Honeymoon
HTH	Hope This Helps
IHO	In Honor Of
ILs	In-Laws
IMHO	In My Humble Opinion
IMNSHO	In My Not So Humble Opinion
JK	Just Kidding/Joking
JP	Justice of the Peace
LOL	Laughing Out Loud
LTBM	Living Together Before Marriage
MIL	Mother-In-Law
MOH	Maid/Matron of Honor
MUD	Made-Up Drama

MobKaz · April 2014

Well, this is a new one for me. The Knot is telling me I had too many characters in the body of my text. Here is the remainder of the list........

NFT	No Further Text
NH	New Husband
NWR	Not Wedding Related
OMG	Oh My God!
OOT	Out of Town
P&E	Planning and Etiquette Board
PIB	Pictures In Bio
PSA	Public Service Announcement
RB	Ring Bearer
RD	Rehearsal Dinner
RP	Repost
ROTFL	Rolling On The Floor Laughing
SAHM	Stay-At-Home Mom
SAHW	Stay-At-Home Wife
SAHD	Stay-At-Home Dad
STDs	Save-The-Date Cards
TIA	Thanks In Advance
TMI	Too Much Information
TY	Thank You
WP	Wedding Party @KnotPorscha....can you explain whether this is a one time glitch or if posters are now being limited to characters in text??

Cookie Pusher · April 2014

Don't forget PPD (Pretty Princess Day), TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read), PIP (Picture in Post), NER (Not Etiquette Related - for the etiquette board), and GBCK (Good Bye Cruel Knot).

APDSS22 · April 2014

shaylagirl said:

mbross3 said:

shaylagirl said:

Sex reveal parties are stupid. Seriously. Who gives a flying flip what your child has between it's legs? Does it change history if your kid is a dangler or has an innie? NOPE!! This is the one thing I agree with the crazy Bumpies about (oh, and also the use of 'sex' vs. 'gender' since gender isn't related to what's between your legs).

I'm not finding out the sex of my baby, though we've got our anatomy scan on the 14th (team Green baby here).

Are people irritated that we're not finding out? Sure they are. Even DH wants to know (which I said was fine, but make sure you don't tell me! He opted to not find out either since he's a blabber mouth).

But, let's be real; ultrasounds and determining sex is still a relatively new technology. People had to wait "back in the day" and it didn't impact a thing.

And, really, will you love your baby any less if they have an outtie or an innie? NOPE!! That's still YOUR baby. Their sex doesn't impact a damn thing except how people spend money.

Thank you for saying this! I was just about to do that when I saw your post!

I can't get behind a sex reveal party either. Baby showers, fine. I can understand that and sure celebrating new life can be fun (especially if there's cake and wine involved). I just hate how gendered everything around babies becomes. You reveal that your baby's sex is male and all of a sudden everything is blue and has prints of cars on it. Why not celebrate that you're having a healthy, baby human being and allow the gender and identify of that child to develop as he or she grows rather than forcing him/her into a box before they're even born!

Thank you right back because I agree with you too!

100% agree that everything becomes so "boy v. girl" in regards to colors and themes.

I could care less, and my baby could care less if they're in a color that is stereotypically considered to be the "wrong" color. So what if a baby boy is wearing a pink onesie? He's dressed, isn't he?

Also, there are so MANY neutral themes out there, and babies don't care. Those "themes" are for mom/dad/grandparents/etc.

What if a little boy wants Barbie instead of GI Joe? Cool! Or a little girl wants Tonka trucks instead of My Little Pony? Awesome! Of course, I'm a little biased; I LOVED my Tonka trucks (and my MLP toys too).

I know our kid's layette theme is "jungle creatures"; giraffes and elephants and monkeys and such.

Until our baby's born, I'm good not knowing what the sex is. I'll find out soon enough!

That said...while I love an excuse for cake, I can't justify wanting to do a sex reveal just to eat cake. I'll make myself a cake so I don't have to share. Because I'm selfish that way. (KIDDING!!)

I babysat for a family in high school that had a passel of young boys. One of the boys made me watch Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus several times in a row because it was his favorite movie of all time and I thought it was sweet. That being said, that movie had many funny bits for adults like Barbie mountain climbing in a glittery pink ballgown and pulling random ice skates out from her behind. I don't mind kids as long as they are fairly well behaved (which really relies on the parents). I just don't think it would be possible for me to care as much as the parents of the child.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

carliealissa said:

Wow.. I really don't understand the snark in this situation! People just like to have reasons to get together, socialize, have fun, and celebrate life in our short time here on earth. Having a baby is one of the best times in life to celebrate, and one of the most joyous occasions. I don't have kids, and I get this.. some of these comments make me feel a little depressed for you. Fine, if it's not your thing, stay home alone while the "AW" and the rest of your friends enjoy a wonderful day together! Why have any showers or weddings or holiday parties or anything at all, ever? There's a reason these things exist- to make life a little more pleasurable.
But, I also just don't understand why so many people hate showers for this same reason. I also cried today hearing the name and gender announcement of the baby our popular local radio dj had yesterday, a stranger.
Also, I think there aren't many times where finding out 1 of 2 possible options is a huge win either way, I think that is the draw, and fun, of the gender reveal party.

Amazingly my friends/family and I can get together, hang out and socialize without having to come up with dumb party ideas.

And gender reveal parties = dumb, IMO. I am all about celebrating a new baby or a marriage or a milestone birthday but to have a party solely to celebrate a babies genitals is a bit ridiculous.

CaliMel11 · April 2014

I don't mind the reveal parties, depending on the person. Sharing in peoples excitement is fun to me.
It's fun to get to buy the cute dresses or whatever. But my mom and I always try to pick out colors that could be for either, since babies really don't care about colors!
Also, I know 2 people who were told they were having a boy. Everything was blue, "It's a boy!" and sports themed and all that stereotypical crap right?
Well the baby comes out and it's a girl.
So I really am skeptical about them "knowing" anyways.

Inkdancer · April 2014

CaliMel11 said:

I don't mind the reveal parties, depending on the person. Sharing in peoples excitement is fun to me.
It's fun to get to buy the cute dresses or whatever. But my mom and I always try to pick out colors that could be for either, since babies really don't care about colors!
Also, I know 2 people who were told they were having a boy. Everything was blue, "It's a boy!" and sports themed and all that stereotypical crap right?
Well the baby comes out and it's a girl.
So I really am skeptical about them "knowing" anyways.

My mom's OB insisted I was a boy. Mom didn't agree. When she was filling out the "It's a Girl" announcements with my name while she was in labor, he laughed at her. Apparently the look on his face when he told her my actual sex was rather priceless.

thisismynickname2 · April 2014

Oh, one more thing on this topic!

Here's one good reason why Gender Reveal isn't a good idea.

A good friend of mine was told she was having a boy. The day before her shower, which was to be festooned with blue decorations, the doctor basically said, "Oh no, whoops, it's a girl!"

All the decorations at her shower had "boy" crossed out and changed to "girl" and the professionally-decorated cake was adjusted to "Congratulations, it's - not- a boy!" Such a riot.

A good friend of mine that's now pregnant was told weeks ago she's having a boy, and in today's e-mail update she said, "Yup, still a boy!"

I bet the AWs would just have another reveal party if that happened to them, snark snark.

wrigleyville · April 2014

raeah219 said: Goodness! The "hype" around children is that procreating is a natural instinct of all living things and children bring a lot of happiness and joy to most people. Nothing against people who choose not to have kids. I definitely dont think parenthood is for everyone, but I think it's a little odd to say you "dont understand the hype"

Wow... funky formatting... hope this fixes it...

Statements like this are why childfree-by-choice people are called-out for their decisions and labeled as "abnormal". I have never, ever had the urge to procreate, and I'm so glad I live in a time period when it's perfectly okay to feel that way. More and more people are deciding not to have children, for one reason or another, because we live in an era where we aren't expected to. And that's perfectly natural.

happymellow · April 2014

I'm a big fan of parties for everything, but I'm against gender reveals as well. My sister wanted one, and my other sister and I kind of rained on her parade. She ended up doing a small one with just our parents, the other baby grandparents and me. Our other sister didn't come. I wanted her to know that I am happy she's pregnant and will love her baby, and am excited for her, but yeah, that's too freakin' much. Just let me check in now and then and say how happy I am for you. I don't need to celebrate every time I turn around.

jalyndani · April 2014

While I agree that the majority of these reveal parties are ridiculous, over the top excuses for more gifts and attention, there was one that popped up on my Facebook newsfeed recently that I liked. A good friend and her husband have moved to another state because of a military assignment. She is having her parents' first grandchild. She ordered a small cake from a bakery at home, and enlisted another family member (cousin? aunt?) to pick it up and then gather family members at her parents' home. That family member then did a FaceTime call with my friend - with everyone in the room- while her parents cut into the cake revealing that they were having a grandson. I thought it was a sweet way to do something "with" them despite being 1500 miles apart.

When FI and I start having kiddos, I will want to know ASAP if it's a boy or a girl, and so will our families, I wouldn't want a big honkin' party to tell the world. They'll figure it out or they'll ask us.

Also- add me to the list of "I Hate Pink Shit Too". Yeah, I'm sure any girl that I have will have several ruffled little dresses thanks to her aunts and grandmas, but I hate the color and refuse to decorate an entire room with it. I prefer browns, tans, whites, grays, maroons, dusty blues.... they don't scream LOOK IT'S A LITTLE GIRL/BOY ROOM!

And whoever said their nursery theme was jungle animals- that's freakin' adorable. I love any decor that has to do with baby animals.

carliealissa · April 2014

shrekspeare said:

carliealissa said:

Wow.. I really don't understand the snark in this situation! People just like to have reasons to get together, socialize, have fun, and celebrate life in our short time here on earth. Having a baby is one of the best times in life to celebrate, and one of the most joyous occasions. I don't have kids, and I get this.. some of these comments make me feel a little depressed for you. Fine, if it's not your thing, stay home alone while the "AW" and the rest of your friends enjoy a wonderful day together! Why have any showers or weddings or holiday parties or anything at all, ever? There's a reason these things exist- to make life a little more pleasurable.
But, I also just don't understand why so many people hate showers for this same reason. I also cried today hearing the name and gender announcement of the baby our popular local radio dj had yesterday, a stranger.
Also, I think there aren't many times where finding out 1 of 2 possible options is a huge win either way, I think that is the draw, and fun, of the gender reveal party.

I feel like that's incredibly strange.

Thanks- I guess I'm incredibly strange. I'm definitely not the only one though, geeze half our state has been listening to this show discussing her baby every morning for the past 9 months. A lot of people were calling in and were emotional. It was exciting, and I was really thrilled for her. I know I'm a very emotional person, and often it's frustrating. At least I know that I get every possible joy and feeling out of life, since there's nothing I can do to change it.

You know the whole "no one cares as much about your wedding as you do"....

Re: You know the whole "no one cares as much about your wedding as you do"....

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