I would like to snark about ageists.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2014

In related news, I was called "young'n" no fewer than 6 times at a client dinner last night. I am 30 MFing years old. I have 10 years of professional work experience in this industry. I have been solely responsible for a major line of analysis for one of the largest automakers in the world, and I have lead teams of 6-8 people. My reporting has guided the decisions of CEOs. And if one could "statistically analyze circles around you," I'd be doing that, regardless of whether or not I get your obscure 70's music references. Kiss my unwrinkled ass.

APDSS22 · April 2014

I do quite enjoy looking younger than my younger friends but not so young I get carded all the time. Now my sister looks 12 and still gets offered kids' menus at restaurants but I assume this will turn out to be a good thing years from now.

emmaaa · April 2014

I'm in the same boat. I try not to let it bother me professionally. As a 23 year old, I am a facility manager, supervise 2 employees (both of which are in their 70's), senior citizen program coordinator, special event manager, and my co workers are all at least 20 years older than me. I have some customers that question my authority, I just shut them down. My coworkers are really great and always forget I'm new to the feild and really young.

When it comes to FI and I getting married, when people say how young we are. I just say, "We don't feel that way, sorry." Those times were generally while looking for venues and such and I chose not to use them. Most of our friends and family don't think we're too young because we've been friends since we were 5, dated for 6 years, and been living on our own for 2 years. They know that as long as we feel ready to commit then that's all that matters

doeydo · April 2014

2leadsingers said:

jenbaer16 said:

I don't get the ageism thing at work much but FI is 15 years older than I am and that got a lot of whispers when I started dating him at 19. Mostly from people who hadn't spent 5 minutes in a room with us. My family had a lot of reservations about the relationship (thought I was being taken advantage of), while his family welcomed me with open arms. We definitely meet in the middle on the maturity scale and I couldn't be happier with him. People need to learn that they have no idea what really goes on inside a relationship, and to keep their opinions to themselves.

So glad I am not alone. I am 28 and FI is 46. We have been spending a majority of time with a mutual group of friends for the last 6 years and every one of our friends couldn't be happier for us. My family has a few reservations about the situation but I have always been mature for my age, and they know that. They also know how happy we are together. His family, to the best of my knowledge loves me too. But happy to know that my pictures won't be the only ones of a younger looking girl and a graying guy lol.

2leadsingers and @jenbaer16

iloveotters2014 · April 2014

People suck. I got engaged when I was 23, but am now 25 when we are getting married.....we have been together for 5 years and own a home together. I have married friends who were together for less than half that time before they were married. Age has nothing to do with it (unless you are a minor.) It's all about how well you know the person.

Inkdancer · April 2014

magee2011 said:

People suck. I got engaged when I was 23, but am now 25 when we are getting married.....we have been together for 5 years and own a home together. I have married friends who were together for less than half that time before they were married. Age has nothing to do with it (unless you are a minor.) It's all about how well you know the person.

This. My parents started dating, got engaged, and got married all while FI and I were dating.

jennyleigh16 · April 2014

doeydo said:

2leadsingers said:

jenbaer16 said:

I don't get the ageism thing at work much but FI is 15 years older than I am and that got a lot of whispers when I started dating him at 19. Mostly from people who hadn't spent 5 minutes in a room with us. My family had a lot of reservations about the relationship (thought I was being taken advantage of), while his family welcomed me with open arms. We definitely meet in the middle on the maturity scale and I couldn't be happier with him. People need to learn that they have no idea what really goes on inside a relationship, and to keep their opinions to themselves.

So glad I am not alone. I am 28 and FI is 46. We have been spending a majority of time with a mutual group of friends for the last 6 years and every one of our friends couldn't be happier for us. My family has a few reservations about the situation but I have always been mature for my age, and they know that. They also know how happy we are together. His family, to the best of my knowledge loves me too. But happy to know that my pictures won't be the only ones of a younger looking girl and a graying guy lol.

2leadsingers and @jenbaer16

This makes me happy. We should form a support group.

smalfrie19 · April 2014

SaraBrideSoon said:

I get this all the time in my job. As a young, financial professional, I get raised eyebrows from prospective clients when they come in all the time. I actually had one gentleman say, "you sound much older on the phone..." How about you just let me do my job?
As far as wedding planning goes,FI is quite a bit older than me, so people tend to zoom in on our age difference and not so much my age. That gets annoying...

This is me too. There is a 14 year gap between the two of us.

CMGragain · April 2014

I have known brides who were in their 70s! Yet some of the posters on TK think we older people don't belong here.

kkleigh10 · April 2014

doeydo said:

2leadsingers said:

jenbaer16 said:

I don't get the ageism thing at work much but FI is 15 years older than I am and that got a lot of whispers when I started dating him at 19. Mostly from people who hadn't spent 5 minutes in a room with us. My family had a lot of reservations about the relationship (thought I was being taken advantage of), while his family welcomed me with open arms. We definitely meet in the middle on the maturity scale and I couldn't be happier with him. People need to learn that they have no idea what really goes on inside a relationship, and to keep their opinions to themselves.

So glad I am not alone. I am 28 and FI is 46. We have been spending a majority of time with a mutual group of friends for the last 6 years and every one of our friends couldn't be happier for us. My family has a few reservations about the situation but I have always been mature for my age, and they know that. They also know how happy we are together. His family, to the best of my knowledge loves me too. But happy to know that my pictures won't be the only ones of a younger looking girl and a graying guy lol.

2leadsingers and @jenbaer16

This makes me happy. We should form a support group.

Sign me up for that group! My FI and I have a 13 year age gap.

Simply Fated · April 2014

I look a lot younger than I am. So, I've gotten a lot of comments from co-workers and people I just met like, "when I was your age we..." or "you were too young to remember this..."
Uh, yeah. Like, 99% of the time, I'm older than the person talking. The other 1% I'm maybe two years younger.

A serious issue, though.. in my area they've been building "affordable living" apartment buildings all over the place. First of all, they aren't all that "affordable" Second of all, the vast majority of them are for people 55 and over. I know why that living situation became popular in the first place, but I find it offensive due to ageism.

abbyj700 · April 2014

Simply Fated said:

I look a lot younger than I am. So, I've gotten a lot of comments from co-workers and people I just met like, "when I was your age we..." or "you were too young to remember this..." Uh, yeah. Like, 99% of the time, I'm older than the person talking. The other 1% I'm maybe two years younger. A serious issue, though.. in my area they've been building "affordable living" apartment buildings all over the place. First of all, they aren't all that "affordable" Second of all, the vast majority of them are for people 55 and over. I know why that living situation became popular in the first place, but I find it offensive due to ageism.

OMG - me and a friend decided at one point that we were going to open a young people's assisted living home. So instead of nurses and all that stuff at old people assisted living homes - we'd have people that walk your dogs while you're at work, on site daycare, on-site bar, a cleaning service, etc.

ohannabelle · April 2014

Simply Fated said:

I look a lot younger than I am. So, I've gotten a lot of comments from co-workers and people I just met like, "when I was your age we..." or "you were too young to remember this..." Uh, yeah. Like, 99% of the time, I'm older than the person talking. The other 1% I'm maybe two years younger. A serious issue, though.. in my area they've been building "affordable living" apartment buildings all over the place. First of all, they aren't all that "affordable" Second of all, the vast majority of them are for people 55 and over. I know why that living situation became popular in the first place, but I find it offensive due to ageism.

I don't think you thought your last statement through. Are you really offended by senior citizen housing? This is kind of like resenting disabled people for getting the best parking spots. Senior citizen housing is built to very strict federal standards, to accommodate specific issues of mobility and sight loss, etc. (Wider hallways, hand railings in halls, thicker doors for fire protection, etc.) Building locations must be within walking distance of services, or provide transportation to them. There are age exceptions made (I believe up to 20% of residents) for people under the age limit who have similar mobility, sight, or other disabilities and fixed/limited incomes. There are a lot better things to be offended about. I absolutely disagree that it's a serious issue.

Simply Fated · April 2014

ohannabelle said:

Simply Fated said:

I look a lot younger than I am. So, I've gotten a lot of comments from co-workers and people I just met like, "when I was your age we..." or "you were too young to remember this..."
Uh, yeah. Like, 99% of the time, I'm older than the person talking. The other 1% I'm maybe two years younger.

A serious issue, though.. in my area they've been building "affordable living" apartment buildings all over the place. First of all, they aren't all that "affordable" Second of all, the vast majority of them are for people 55 and over. I know why that living situation became popular in the first place, but I find it offensive due to ageism.

I don't think you thought your last statement through. Are you really offended by senior citizen housing? This is kind of like resenting disabled people for getting the best parking spots. Senior citizen housing is built to very strict federal standards, to accommodate specific issues of mobility and sight loss, etc. (Wider hallways, hand railings in halls, thicker doors for fire protection, etc.) Building locations must be within walking distance of services, or provide transportation to them. There are age exceptions made (I believe up to 20% of residents) for people under the age limit who have similar mobility, sight, or other disabilities and fixed/limited incomes. There are a lot better things to be offended about. I absolutely disagree that it's a serious issue.

I don't consider 55 being a senior citizen.
Disabled people need nearby parking spaces. People who happen to be of a certain age, do not.

And I don't think you're aware why the issue is serious. Where I'm at there is more age restricted housing than there are safe apartment and housing complexes up to code for those under 55. So much more so, that several committees have been formed trying to figure out where to build reliable housing for those under 55 because people are leaving the area. To the point where they are running out of people young enough to be able to care for the elderly who need help. Families and those under 55 are being forced off the island to find affordable living elsewhere.

ohannabelle · April 2014

I consider a senior to be about 65. People of 55 who move into "affordable living" are usually preparing for their retirement, or have specific needs that retirement/senior housing provides. And no, I truly have never heard of this particular problem of families and young people being forced from from their community by hordes of aging people. Or the counter problem of aging people being abandoned without care, because they have forced the poor young people from their community. I would have guessed that the new building and population would create more income for the island. It's an interesting concept. Is there a news article about this gray invasion problem? I'd like to read one, because I am getting closer to retirement age than I'd like, and would hate to contribute to the displacement of healthy young families, and eventually be left alone in a ghost town of old people.

emmaaa · April 2014

I am actually a Recreational Programmer for Senior Citizens and we consider people "seniors" at 55 years old. Granted, I work in an area that a lot of people retire to, a huge golfing and retirement community.

ohannabelle · April 2014

Just for safety's sake, I'm going to whittle my AARP card into a shank. That way, when the starving and abandoned seniors turn on each other and start eating human flesh, I'm good. It would make a great horror movie.

CMGragain · April 2014

I am 63. The federal government allowed me to retire this year and to start collecting my social security. The state of Maryland allows me to collect my teacher's pension. The state of Colorado says I have to wait until I'm 65 for theirs. Most stores give me a senior discount on special sale days, but not all. Airlines will not consider me a senior until after my 65th birthday. Restaurants - it varies.

Jobs? Until recently, I worked part time as a substitute teacher, no benefits. Who would hire a 63 year old overweight cancer survivor?

My DH retired from 34 years at the federal government when he was 55. This was part of the pension agreement he signed at age 23, when he was hired. Most of the people who were hired under the old pension system are now retired, and new federal employees get a different arrangement. So at age 55, he is retired with full pension, and we moved out west where living is cheaper than in Washington, DC. My cancer diagnoses threw a wrench into our plans, but I got through it, though it aged my appearance. I miss my two adult children, who stayed in Maryland.

What is considered to be a senior citizen varies widely. You younger folks will have different rules to follow regarding retirement and health insurance. I just hope you all have as wonderful a life as I have had. I am blessed.

kmmssg · April 2014

If someone calls me a senior next year when I turn 55 I will be kicking their ass.

ohannabelle · April 2014

@kmmssg- I'm right there with you. Last year when AARP sent me a frikking birthday card I turned fifty shades of furious.

CMGragain · April 2014

AARP NEVER gives up! You will hear from them on your 55th birthday, and you will get constant junk mail from them until after you die! (Still getting junk in my late mother's name!)

kmmssg · April 2014

CMGragain said:

AARP NEVER gives up! You will hear from them on your 55th birthday, and you will get constant junk mail from them until after you die! (Still getting junk in my late mother's name!)

They started sending me crap when DH turned 50 and he will be 57 this summer! They drive me nuts.

tigersgirlgv · April 2014

I also get a lot of comments about my age. Not necessarily insulting ones, but comments nonetheless. I take enjoyment about pointing out how old I was when certain events happened.

If my co-workers are talking about how someone started teaching in xyz year. Me: Oh, I was only two then.

Or people are talking about the Challenger explosion, Me: Sorry, I wasn't born then...

It makes me happy.

mbross3 · April 2014

BF's birthday was yesterday and he got a letter from AARP! He was so mad (he turned 36!), I kinda thought it was funny and just told him they're warming him up for when he can actually join. Yea, he wasn't happy about that!

I would like to snark about ageists.

Re: I would like to snark about ageists.

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