I have an idea. If you are so concerned over people getting in the way of your photographer or their itty bitty flash screwing up so pictures, why not just elope? You get your pretty pictures and you don't have to piss off any of your friends or family by trying to control them. Win-win!
I went to a wedding over the summer and before the ceremony started they officiant asked to refrain from taking pictures during the ceremony, I didn't think that it was offensive at all. Everyone listened except for one person who made a pretty big fool out of themselves by leaning in front of the photographer because he wasn't paying attention. If you're inviting people to your wedding who you're worried might get offended, you may want to think about downsizing your wedding list to those who truly respect your wishes.
It's your day. If you want people unplugged during the ceremony don't be afraid to say so.
My photographer specifically asked us to have an unplugged wedding to avoid flashes ruining the professional photos we are paying so much for. This makes total sense to me and so I just explained this on our wedding website/programs and I'm hoping people will be understanding.
I agree with you for the most part. I can't stand seeing wedding photo's of a ceremony with nothing but everyone's cell phones in the air. This really got to me when I was at one of my really good friends wedding. I had to watch the ceremony through the persons phone in front of me because everyone had their phones so high taking photos. It was so obnoxious and rude. I don't mind the cell phones at the reception because it's time to let loose and have some fun so that doesn't bother me at all.
My Fiance felt really strongly about this too and we agreed that we will have our officiant ask for our guests to respect our wishes to not use any devices during the ceremony as we have our photographer covering the "I Do's". After that... do as you wish with the devices . I don't think it is offensive. You pay thousands of dollars for a professional to come shoot your wedding photos and in the midst of your beautiful ceremony people are hands in the air trying to get the first kiss picture to be the first to post on Facebook and Instagram. Our photographer was DELIGHTED when we told her we were going to have an unplugged ceremony.
She has a photo of a bride walking down the aisle of a beautiful chapel. Seriously it is a gorgeous photo, but the way it was angled, she couldn't get a good enough shot with a guest leaning into the aisle with their iPhone trying to get a picture. It literally ruined the entire photo. Couldn't crop it, could do anything about it... SO SAD! I would hate for that to happen to us on our special day.
So tell this girl she is rude asking people to unplug from the phones and camera's, but bravo to her because we'll be doing the same for our ceremony! (Also, it is noticeable in photos. Just because we may not notice it THAT day, doesn't mean that when we get the photo's back from the photographer.)
I understand we all have our own opinions, but I truly don't think it is rude. Maybe if you word it wrong it can come off that way, but simply asking your guests to respect your wishes is perfectly fine in my opinion. Our parents also couldn't be happier that we are doing this! They think it is a great idea.
My photographer specifically asked us to have an unplugged wedding to avoid flashes ruining the professional photos we are paying so much for.
This makes total sense to me and so I just explained this on our wedding website/programs and I'm hoping people will be understanding.
Your photographer should probably already know how to handle these situations. If they can't do their job maybe find another who can.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
How about all you brides so in need of controlling your guests during the ceremony buy rolls of color coordinated duct tape and tape your guests hands together and then tape them to their seats so they can't move and or be in the way at all? This could be a great job for those individuals that you don't want to put in the wedding party but want to "honor" them with a job.
I don't think its rude at all, its your wedding day and its not a bad idea. For my sisters wedding during the ceremony there literally was a sea of iphones, ipads and, cameras and it was a little distracting and kind of annoying when people were walking around the whole time trying to get different angles.
How about all you brides so in need of controlling your guests during the ceremony buy rolls of color coordinated duct tape and tape your guests hands together and then tape them to their seats so they can't move and or be in the way at all? This could be a great job for those individuals that you don't want to put in the wedding party but want to "honor" them with a job.
Ooo, and as a plus side, you can stick the duct tape over the mouths of anyone who dares to complain!
How about all you brides so in need of controlling your guests during the ceremony buy rolls of color coordinated duct tape and tape your guests hands together and then tape them to their seats so they can't move and or be in the way at all? This could be a great job for those individuals that you don't want to put in the wedding party but want to "honor" them with a job.
Ooo, and as a plus side, you can stick the duct tape over the mouths of anyone who dares to complain!
[/sarcasm]
[/snark]
Like babies to prevent them from crying and ruining the entire ceremony!
We are having an unplugged wedding ceremony and asking guests to keep phone tucked away until after the first dance. We are telling them through a note on a chalkboard at the front of the ceremony site. Our reasoning was our photographer and a few other photographers-along with many blogs- sharing and showing the pictures ruined by guests leaning into the middle aisle. How would the bride and groom feel if they could not see each other because of guests leaning in the middle of the aisle, or the guests not even remembering the vows they shared because they were busy "getting the perfect picture" this is why photographers are paid big bucks. If guests are offended-they can leave. They shoudl come to watch and celebrate us marrying-not getting perfect pictures and posting on FB.
Also, everyone talking about seeing photos that were "ruined", did you by any chance get information about how many non-ruined pictures those couples received? For every "ruined" photo the photographer probably got about 10 or more non-ruined photo of the same shot.
I don't think it's rude at all. I too, plan to request my guest to unplug, for many of the reasons that have come up in this discussion, but primarily because professional photos and shots can be ruined by smart phone cameras or guests unintentionally "photobombing". My plan is to place a sign at the entrance of the venue that request guest to not take pictures during the ceremony and to silence their phones. After reading your suggestion - Maybe a one liner at the bottom of the program is reasonable as well.
Since TK linked this thread in it's newsletter it has become a lost cause.
Go ahead everyone, be rude and controlling because it's YOUR DAY and inform your guests via an obnoxious and poorly written poem or statement from Pinterest that you are having an unplugged ceremony.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
We are having an unplugged ceremony. Plain and simple, I do not want someone's phone or camera in my photos. It's not rude to ask someone to keep these things up during the ceremony. It is your day, and sometimes you have to have ground rules like this in such a technologically driven world. Our officiant is making a nice announcement about keeping these things away during the ceremony, but how they are welcome during the reception.
I have an idea. If you are so concerned over people getting in the way of your photographer or their itty bitty flash screwing up so pictures, why not just elope? You get your pretty pictures and you don't have to piss off any of your friends or family by trying to control them. Win-win!
Yep.
If you feel the need to control your guests actions at all, then you should not be having a big wedding. You cannot manage how other people act no matter how much you spend on this wedding.
I'm also having an unplugged wedding. It isn't rude to ask people to unplug for a few hours, in fact it is absolutely necessary.
I've witnessed the following happen during weddings I've attended in the last five years:
- guests jump out in front of the photographer and blocking the "first kiss" shot, father-daughter dance, and other special moments. - being forced to view the ceremony through the iPad being held up buy a man three rows in front of me. - guests live-tweet the ceremony & reception (including their opinions and snarky remarks for the amusement of their friends back home). - seen otherwise beautiful photos of the bride & groom at the alter... But with an audience full of people looking down at their phones or holding their phones and iPads up taking photos instead of seeing their faces. - phone ring during the best man toast. - seen the backlash from friends who were unable to attend the wedding seeing photos and updates from the event on social media. The hurt feelings of being left out are magnified when the event is being enjoyed in real-time in front of you.
Because of all those instances we will be having a note in our programs, on our website, and on a sign by the coat check informing our guests of my desire for them to unplug.
I've also been spreading the word amongst my friends and family so they are aware beforehand of my wishes and the reasons I feel so strongly about this particular issue. That way if anyone values their unlimited access to technology too important to give up for 4 hours they need not attend.
We too have been considering an unplugged wedding ceremony, not to avoid flash, not because we don't want ringtones going off, and not because we don't want pictures on FB, but because we know our crowd-- we have some very iProduct/Insertbrandheresmartobject prone friends and
family and we'd rather our wonderful photographer get the pictures we
ask without giant iPads being held over the crowd and fifteen other
screens being held up alongside in all of our pictures. We also know many of the people in the crowd who will be taking pictures with those objects have no idea how to turn off the shutter sound or the flash.
I've polled a number of my friends and family, and unlike those responding here, everyone says that it's our decision as a couple, that it's only 30 minutes of our guests' day, and that it's a totally reasonable request. So, we'll probably go "unplugged," and that will work for us. Just know your crowd and go with your heart :-)
And at the end of the day, our guests truly appreciated that they had been able to be free during our wedding to enjoy the day without the pressure of taking their own pictures.
I don't even remember whose comment had this but I wanted to scream when reading it. Did you ask your guests? Who are these people who feel so pressured by taking pictures that the were relieved you told them they couldn't. They probably need to seek professional help.
A very close friend had one of these chalkboard signs at their wedding. Lots of eye-rolling ensued.
We too have been considering an unplugged wedding ceremony, not to avoid flash, not because we don't want ringtones going off, and not because we don't want pictures on FB, but because we know our crowd-- we have some very iProduct/Insertbrandheresmartobject prone friends and
family and we'd rather our wonderful photographer get the pictures we
ask without giant iPads being held over the crowd and fifteen other
screens being held up alongside in all of our pictures. We also know many of the people in the crowd who will be taking pictures with those objects have no idea how to turn off the shutter sound or the flash.
I've polled a number of my friends and family, and unlike those responding here, everyone says that it's our decision as a couple, that it's only 30 minutes of our guests' day, and that it's a totally reasonable request. So, we'll probably go "unplugged," and that will work for us. Just know your crowd and go with your heart :-)
@CaseyW212 - Yeah, if I was your friend or family member I would tell you the same thing and then when you were gone would be rolling my eyes and complaining how utterly controlling and bridezilla-ish you sound. Typically your friends and family don't want to hurt your feelings or put down your ideas so they will agree with pretty much anything you say or ask them even though they think it completely ridiculous.
Edited because I submitted before I was finished.
We too have been considering an unplugged wedding ceremony, not to avoid flash, not because we don't want ringtones going off, and not because we don't want pictures on FB, but because we know our crowd-- we have some very iProduct/Insertbrandheresmartobject prone friends and
family and we'd rather our wonderful photographer get the pictures we
ask without giant iPads being held over the crowd and fifteen other
screens being held up alongside in all of our pictures. We also know many of the people in the crowd who will be taking pictures with those objects have no idea how to turn off the shutter sound or the flash.
I've polled a number of my friends and family, and unlike those responding here, everyone says that it's our decision as a couple, that it's only 30 minutes of our guests' day, and that it's a totally reasonable request. So, we'll probably go "unplugged," and that will work for us. Just know your crowd and go with your heart :-)
@CaseyW212 - Yeah, if I was your friend or family member I would tell you the same thing and then when you were gone would be rolling my eyes and complaining how utterly controlling and bridezilla-ish you sound. Typically your friends and family don't want to hurt your feelings or put down your ideas so they will agree with pretty much anything you say or ask them.
I actually did tell my friend the same thing while rolling my eyes.
You all realize that just because you post 500 notes on your wedding website, in your invitations, in your programs, and by the coat check stating that you don't want your guests to use their phones/cameras to take pictures won't actually prevent anyone from using their phones/cameras, right?
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I think it's completely acceptable to request that for the ceremony. Particularly if it's a religious ceremony, guests should respect the sanctity of the situation. I live in London, and many of the more famous churches ask that no photographs are taken during mass out of respect. In my opinion, it's not out of line at all. It's your special day, and your nearest and dearest should honour a simple request.
For those of you saying, "Oh my guests loveee me! They won't care," or "We asked and they said they totally don't care and the want to present in the moment with us," are completely delusional.
1. Guests often lie or omit saying anything to spare the feelings of a couple.
2. If they really love you, they will be present. Yes, even through a camera. This is just them wanting to preserve memories from your special day. People like to take pictures and look at them later. These guests obviously meant enough to you to invite, so yeah, they are excited and want to take a picture.
3. Your guests can not and should not be controlled. Even if you attempt to they will still "act out" and go against your wishes.
4. If your photographer is worth their money, they will have enough experience and be equipped to handle these potential 'problems."
For those of you saying, "Oh my guests loveee me! They won't care," or "We asked and they said they totally don't care and the want to present in the moment with us," are completely delusional.
1. Guests often lie or omit saying anything to spare the feelings of a couple.
2. If they really love you, they will be present. Yes, even through a camera. This is just them wanting to preserve memories from your special day. People like to take pictures and look at them later. These guests obviously meant enough to you to invite, so yeah, they are excited and want to take a picture.
3. Your guests can not and should not be controlled. Even if you attempt to they will still "act out" and go against your wishes.
4. If your photographer is worth their money, they will have enough experience and be equipped to handle these potential 'problems."
I bet $1000 that many of these brides who plan on having an unplugged wedding will be back on TK in a few months, after their weddings, complaining and crying about their professional photographs. . . .
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I think it's completely acceptable to request that for the ceremony. Particularly if it's a religious ceremony, guests should respect the sanctity of the situation. I live in London, and many of the more famous churches ask that no photographs are taken during mass out of respect. In my opinion, it's not out of line at all. It's your special day, and your nearest and dearest should honour a simple request.
So if it isn't a religious ceremony then it is okay for guests not to respect the ceremony? And it is not disrespectful to take photographs. It is disrespectful to stand up in the middle of the ceremony, rip off your clothes and start doing a silly dance.
And oh my god if I hear, "It is your special day" one more time I may explode.
For those of you saying, "Oh my guests loveee me! They won't care," or "We asked and they said they totally don't care and the want to present in the moment with us," are completely delusional.
1. Guests often lie or omit saying anything to spare the feelings of a couple.
2. If they really love you, they will be present. Yes, even through a camera. This is just them wanting to preserve memories from your special day. People like to take pictures and look at them later. These guests obviously meant enough to you to invite, so yeah, they are excited and want to take a picture.
3. Your guests can not and should not be controlled. Even if you attempt to they will still "act out" and go against your wishes.
4. If your photographer is worth their money, they will have enough experience and be equipped to handle these potential 'problems."
I bet $1000 that many of these brides who plan on having an unplugged wedding will be back on TK in a few months, after their weddings, complaining and crying about their professional photographs. . . .
Yes! The level of pure ignorance in some people drives me crazy.
Hello! My fiancé and I actually discussed this yesterday. For the ceremony, we are planning on having a note for our guests that no electronic devices are welcome. My fiancé's you get brother (age 9) constantly plays games and his mother lets him. Dinner, movies, my fiancé's concerts, everywhere. I realize that people can see you asking them to unplug for you as rude, but it is their job as your guest to be respectful, and frankly, not everyone knows how to be respectful these days anymore. So, yes, be a bit of a bridezilla for this. At the reception, they could have their phones and cameras out, but the ceremony is a definite unplugged area. Here's an idea if your location and theme work for it: have a basket with a sign saying something cute like: "let the electronics hang out together!" As guests walk through the doors to your wedding location. I hope this helps you, and it is ultimately your and your fiancé's choice.
Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?
This makes total sense to me and so I just explained this on our wedding website/programs and I'm hoping people will be understanding.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Go ahead everyone, be rude and controlling because it's YOUR DAY and inform your guests via an obnoxious and poorly written poem or statement from Pinterest that you are having an unplugged ceremony.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I've witnessed the following happen during weddings I've attended in the last five years:
- guests jump out in front of the photographer and blocking the "first kiss" shot, father-daughter dance, and other special moments.
- being forced to view the ceremony through the iPad being held up buy a man three rows in front of me.
- guests live-tweet the ceremony & reception (including their opinions and snarky remarks for the amusement of their friends back home).
- seen otherwise beautiful photos of the bride & groom at the alter... But with an audience full of people looking down at their phones or holding their phones and iPads up taking photos instead of seeing their faces.
- phone ring during the best man toast.
- seen the backlash from friends who were unable to attend the wedding seeing photos and updates from the event on social media. The hurt feelings of being left out are magnified when the event is being enjoyed in real-time in front of you.
Because of all those instances we will be having a note in our programs, on our website, and on a sign by the coat check informing our guests of my desire for them to unplug.
I've also been spreading the word amongst my friends and family so they are aware beforehand of my wishes and the reasons I feel so strongly about this particular issue. That way if anyone values their unlimited access to technology too important to give up for 4 hours they need not attend.
I've polled a number of my friends and family, and unlike those responding here, everyone says that it's our decision as a couple, that it's only 30 minutes of our guests' day, and that it's a totally reasonable request. So, we'll probably go "unplugged," and that will work for us. Just know your crowd and go with your heart :-)
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
For those of you saying, "Oh my guests loveee me! They won't care," or "We asked and they said they totally don't care and the want to present in the moment with us," are completely delusional.
1. Guests often lie or omit saying anything to spare the feelings of a couple.
2. If they really love you, they will be present. Yes, even through a camera. This is just them wanting to preserve memories from your special day. People like to take pictures and look at them later. These guests obviously meant enough to you to invite, so yeah, they are excited and want to take a picture.
3. Your guests can not and should not be controlled. Even if you attempt to they will still "act out" and go against your wishes.
4. If your photographer is worth their money, they will have enough experience and be equipped to handle these potential 'problems."
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."