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Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

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Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

  • ashley8918ashley8918 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    aduris said:
    It's your day. It will be impossible to please everyone that attends it so do what you honestly want to do that will make you and your fiance happy.

    I feel it would be much ruder of your guests to disregard your request than it is of you asking it.
    Respect goes both ways and if your guests fail to respect your wishes to putting the technology away for a ceremony that takes about an hour or less then shame on them, not you for asking. 

    Perhaps, mention you will be giving the ceremony photo(s) taken by the very expensive professional photographer to each guest as a thank you in your unplug script.

    With that said, yes, I have been to wedding were people have taken out tablets, cell phones, Giant camcorders, and cameras with huge flashes and as a guest have found this to be rather annoying. I am short and it is bad enough when you have to look between people to see but when glowing screens are in your face and you are just trying to see the happy couple it ruins the experience.
    NO NO NO. Oh my god, how incredibly rude! No!
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  • winterbride1989winterbride1989 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I did not have an unplugged wedding, however I think that a lot of it boils down to consent. People have a right to not want to be photographed. And it is different with a professional because you get to vet which pictures wind up printed. Where somebody else could post a picture of you making a terribly unflattering face online. While some people may think it is rude to ask people not to take photos, I hope we can agree it is more rude to go out of your way to photograph someone who has asked you not to.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    winterbride1989 said:
    I did not have an unplugged wedding, however I think that a lot of it boils down to consent. People have a right to not want to be photographed. And it is different with a professional because you get to vet which pictures wind up printed. Where somebody else could post a picture of you making a terribly unflattering face online. While some people may think it is rude to ask people not to take photos, I hope we can agree it is more rude to go out of your way to photograph someone who has asked you not to.
    This comes down to guest rudeness. I think it's incredibly rude to post pictures of people on social media without their consent or of them making weird faces. But, what it comes down to, is a person who is so rude as to post an unflattering picture online will probably do it anyway even if you ask them not to.
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  • craiglauracraiglaura member
    First Comment
    I'm getting married soon, and we're having an 'unplugged' wedding. The main reason is that I don't want the professional photos ruined (see: http://petapixel.com/2013/05/15/guest-photographers-or-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding/ ). I spoke with my photographer and he says that he's always had very good experiences with unplugged weddings, including the response from guests (for the ceremony - people can do whatever they want after that) .

    As for guests having the common sense to turn their phones off themselves; if that were true, we wouldn't have teachers taking phones away in class, people making deals in restaurants that the first to touch their phone pays the bill, or advertisements to turn off phones before every theatre movie. Even still, I've sat at many a restaurant where people were texting and e-mailing instead of engaging with the real live people in front of them. Some people have the common courtesy to turn off their phones without being asked, but it is far from universal.   

    As to whether this is rude to our guests - I guess, in the same way it's rude to them that we didn't ask them specifically where they'd like us to have the ceremony, or which catering company we should use. Those decisions also affected our guests, but ultimately came down to what we wanted for our day. Weddings are inherently selfish, they are a party to celebrate two people. Embrace it, it's a once in a lifetime day (hopefully). Make the decision that is right for you.   
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    craiglaura said:
    I'm getting married soon, and we're having an 'unplugged' wedding. The main reason is that I don't want the professional photos ruined (see: http://petapixel.com/2013/05/15/guest-photographers-or-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding/ ). That article sucks.  Try reading this one instead: http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/   I spoke with my photographer and he says that he's always had very good experiences with unplugged weddings, including the response from guests (for the ceremony - people can do whatever they want after that) . Of course a vendor who wants to get a contract from you is going to agree to your ideas and blow smoke up your butt!

    As for guests having the common sense to turn their phones off themselves; if that were true, we wouldn't have teachers taking phones away in class, people making deals in restaurants that the first to touch their phone pays the bill, or advertisements to turn off phones before every theatre movie. Even still, I've sat at many a restaurant where people were texting and e-mailing instead of engaging with the real live people in front of them.   That's their perogative!  What other people do is their own business.  Repeat that- What other people do is their own damn business!!  Some people have the common courtesy to turn off their phones without being asked, but it is far from universal.   

    As to whether this is rude to our guests - I guess, in the same way it's rude to them that we didn't ask them specifically where they'd like us to have the ceremony, or which catering company we should use. Nope, apples and oranges.  Having an unplugged ceremony where you ask them not to take pictures is just as rude as asking them to wear certain colors or clothing because it is trying to micromanage and CONTROL them.  Where you choose to have your wedding or what you choose to serve isn't trying to control guest behavior.  Those decisions also affected our guests, but ultimately came down to what we wanted for our day. Weddings are inherently selfish, No they actually aren't- it's just you brides that are acting inherently selfish that causes this confusion.  they are a party to celebrate two people.  Embrace it, it's a once in a lifetime day (hopefully). Make the decision that is right for you.   


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • vulpiepopvulpiepop member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    While I agree that most people do have the common sense to not be jumping out in front of the photographer or to not use flash or not post pictures on Facebook, I also know several very excitable people who, not only would do such things, but have in the past.

    I don't mind people with their faces in their phones; if they want to be in the moment with me, great, if not well, I guess we aren't as good of friends as I thought (we're having a very intimate wedding and most people will be coming from OOT so someone who came all that way just to surf Twitter would be really bizarre to me). As long as they stay out of the photographer's way (ie. not jumping out in front of them or into the aisle or whatever), and they keep flash off, I'm ok with their taking pictures or better yet, video. We probably will, however, ask the officiant to make an announcement to silence phones, keep flash off, and be mindful of the photographer we hired; but again, people that have done things previously like jump in front of photographers and people who don't seem to know how flash works will be present. 

    I think it really comes down to knowing your guests. Most people know to be respectful, but if you know there are people that will ruin shots or blind you with flash or blare out their ringtones, I don't feel like it should be a problem to respectfully ask that they refrain from such things. Just, you know, don't single them out or anything and be polite about it.

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  • MuppetOverlordMuppetOverlord member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    craiglaura said:
    I'm getting married soon, and we're having an 'unplugged' wedding. The main reason is that I don't want the professional photos ruined (see: http://petapixel.com/2013/05/15/guest-photographers-or-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding/ ). I spoke with my photographer and he says that he's always had very good experiences with unplugged weddings, including the response from guests (for the ceremony - people can do whatever they want after that) .

    As for guests having the common sense to turn their phones off themselves; if that were true, we wouldn't have teachers taking phones away in class, people making deals in restaurants that the first to touch their phone pays the bill, or advertisements to turn off phones before every theatre movie. Even still, I've sat at many a restaurant where people were texting and e-mailing instead of engaging with the real live people in front of them. Some people have the common courtesy to turn off their phones without being asked, but it is far from universal.   

    As to whether this is rude to our guests - I guess, in the same way it's rude to them that we didn't ask them specifically where they'd like us to have the ceremony, or which catering company we should use. Those decisions also affected our guests, but ultimately came down to what we wanted for our day. Weddings are inherently selfish, they are a party to celebrate two people. Embrace it, it's a once in a lifetime day (hopefully). Make the decision that is right for you.   
    Your logic is skewed. There's just so much wrong with all of your statements.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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  • Kranks1127Kranks1127 member
    First Comment
    I plan on asking for an unplugged wedding, especially after reading this: http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding I have a bit of an "older" crowd attending and I know they aren't the most tech savvy (not silencing their phone or saying "OH SHIT!" when they miss a shot) - so for me I think it would be a good idea. I want people to be in the moment and not concentrate on taking a pic for facebook. With that being said, EVERY wedding I've attended in the past 2 years has had a cellphone ring during the ceremony or I've been distracted by a guest trying to take a photo on their phone. I'm I favor of the unplugged- your other guests will thank you.
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  • NikafinsNikafins member
    First Comment
    edited April 2014
    In the end... It's your wedding. If it makes you uncomfortable to see a sea of iPhones, then ask to put them up. You have stated it in a very eloquent and polite way.

    Another thing to think about is your photographer and their pictures. You don't want them dodging phones and tablets to get their shot. I've heard so many photographers complain about personal cell phones that are hanging out in the middle of the isle and ruin their shot. (You have spent a ton of money in your pictures already. Do you want your friends and family to ruin your final product?) It's like that Nokia cell phone commercial of the patents fighting over each other to get a shot of their kids jn the school play.
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  • NikafinsNikafins member
    First Comment
    This might piss some people off and please note that it is not meant as an attack, just a statement and opinion... People as a collective whole are stupid and need to be directed. Individuals can be brilliant. But as a whole group, you can never assume or trust them to do anything correct on their own. For example, the phone going off during church. There will always be that black sheep or rude friend. So making a general statement is better for you and your guests that could be distracted or offended by one phone call. If you don't care one way or the other, then don't say anything. Y'all are making this more complicated than it needs to be. There are so many different people in this world. Do what will make you happy.
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  • teresakathrynteresakathryn member
    First Comment
    We are having an unplugged wedding too. Here is the wording we used on our website.. (the commissioner will also be saying some of this before the ceremony starts.)

    We invite you to be truly present on our wedding day. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how the moment looks — we encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology.

    We respectfully ask that everyone leave all cameras and cell phones off during the ceremony and the 'ceremonial parts' of the reception, including the first dance, parent dances, toasts, and cake cutting.

    We ask you to refrain so we can see your face, and you can see ours, both now and forever in the photos that our photographer will capture.

    We will be happy to share our photos with you after our wedding!

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    brumbe said:
    I have already posted on our wedding facebook page that we will be a technology free ceremony because we want everyone to be able to be in the moment with us while our photographer captures the moments for us.  We had an overall positive response with many people commenting that they wish they had done that themselves.

    It is not impolite to request that in our program, on your website, and even talk about it at your shower because the most important part of the day is the actual exchange of vows between the two of you and there should be no compromises made (considering how many we have all made up to this point) for what you want for this moment to be.

    Also if your guests are going to be offended by assuming they have no common sense, they clearly have not been to many weddings lately because it seems to be the trend of holding the phone up so no one else can even see the bride.
    Talk about oxymoron statements...sigh.
    It is rude. The only time is is not rude to tell guests they can't take photos or use flash is if the venue/church has the rule, NOT the B&G. And then the hired photog better adhere to the same rules.
    You should either accept your family and friends as they are, or stop hanging out with people you find rude and lacking common sense.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    AddieCake said: I throw up in my mouth a little every time someone says they want their guests to be present and in the moment. ^^^
     But yep the same sedimental saps don't want their guests to have any photos of the joyous occasion so they can relive that oh-so-precious-mement that     they HAD to be present & in the moment for...BARF
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • Elizabeth BlissElizabeth Bliss member
    First Comment
    "invite you to" means we are happy for you to - I see nothing wrong with that - however be prepared and Unoffended if they choose to snap pictures or videos. Of course any with children not present will keep cells handy for emergencies. I think Inviting them to unplug and just enjoy the celebration with you is wonderful - I would stress invite and unplug qualified with if you are able.
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  • bmydesignerbmydesigner member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    Nikafins said:
    This might piss some people off and please note that it is not meant as an attack, just a statement and opinion... People as a collective whole are stupid and need to be directed. Individuals can be brilliant. But as a whole group, you can never assume or trust them to do anything correct on their own. For example, the phone going off during church. There will always be that black sheep or rude friend. So making a general statement is better for you and your guests that could be distracted or offended by one phone call. If you don't care one way or the other, then don't say anything. Y'all are making this more complicated than it needs to be. There are so many different people in this world. Do what will make you happy.
    It's amazing how little you think of your family and friends. The people you invite to your wedding are supposed to be your nearest and dearest, and you think they're all stupid?! Here's a suggestion - just elope.
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  • catbradcatbrad member
    First Comment
    edited April 2014
    This is a huge reason to ask people to unplug: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridal-guide/why-you-might-want-to-con_b_3331528.html

    Without realizing it, guests can completely mess up the professional pictures that you are paying for. I think its important to at least make people aware, so they can be a little more inconspicuous. 
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  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    @catbrad Please read the whole thread before you post. This article has been posted multiple times.

    Try reading this: http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/ that @lovesclimbing posted


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  • delujm0delujm0 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    I hate the phrase "unplugged wedding."  Unplugged from what exactly?  You get that unless they are physically charging at the time, digital cameras ans cell phones are not "plugged" into anything, correct?  was this term coined by a person who is too young to remember when electronic devices had to be physically plugged in to work?  This is like when up and coming musicians release "mix tapes" today.  Are they actually tapes?  If so, how does anyone listen to them?  Oh right.  they're not tapes, you just don't understand WTF you're saying.

     

    I was at a wedding where guests were asked to "refrain from posting personal photos on FB because the B&G want to be the first ones to post them there."  We all rolled our eyes so far back into our heads they were almost lost forever.  But everyone abided.  Most reasonable people don't want to blow up your spot by announcing your wedding on FB before you do it yourself.  if your friends would do this, they suck, and that is unfortunate for you.  maybe don't invite them.

     

    Please note that at the above wedding we were all offended simply because we were told not to post our personal pictures on FB - no one tried to control our ability to take pictures.  That would not have gone over well.

     

    And i'd like to reiterate - if your photographer can't figure a way around guest's flashes, get a better photographer.  That should be a non-issue for a professional.

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