To the people posting "why you should have an unplugged wedding" articles. Here's one from a photographer explaining why they don't need an unplugged wedding.
At our wedding, we had an amateur wedding photographer. She had only ever shot one wedding before. She got a ton of amazing photos of everything, and there were no shots we didn't get because of people waving smartphones. If she could do that, with just one wedding under belt, I'm sure professionals can do it too.
Also, add me to the list of people who would never ever put my smartphone in a communal basket.
It's your day. It will be impossible to please everyone that attends it so do what you honestly want to do that will make you and your fiance happy.
I feel it would be much ruder of your guests to disregard your request than it is of you asking it. Respect goes both ways and if your guests fail to respect your wishes to putting the technology away for a ceremony that takes about an hour or less then shame on them, not you for asking.
Perhaps, mention you will be giving the ceremony photo(s) taken by the very expensive professional photographer to each guest as a thank you in your unplug script.
With that said, yes, I have been to wedding were people have taken out tablets, cell phones, Giant camcorders, and cameras with huge flashes and as a guest have found this to be rather annoying. I am short and it is bad enough when you have to look between people to see but when glowing screens are in your face and you are just trying to see the happy couple it ruins the experience.
I did not have an unplugged wedding, however I think that a lot of it boils down to consent. People have a right to not want to be photographed. And it is different with a professional because you get to vet which pictures wind up printed. Where somebody else could post a picture of you making a terribly unflattering face online. While some people may think it is rude to ask people not to take photos, I hope we can agree it is more rude to go out of your way to photograph someone who has asked you not to.
From @lovesclimbing's article: "Flash from a camera messing up your photo, well, that’s why my camera
shoots 8 frames a second. I’ll have 7 other images to choose from – like
this one where the audience flash made the photo look even better – and
chances are, my flashes will screw up their images more than the other
way around."
THIS is why I don't buy into all of this unplugged BS being propagated by brides and professional photographers. If a guest uses their flash and your photographer misses all 8 shots, they are doing it wrong.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I did not have an unplugged wedding, however I think that a lot of it boils down to consent. People have a right to not want to be photographed. And it is different with a professional because you get to vet which pictures wind up printed. Where somebody else could post a picture of you making a terribly unflattering face online. While some people may think it is rude to ask people not to take photos, I hope we can agree it is more rude to go out of your way to photograph someone who has asked you not to.
This comes down to guest rudeness. I think it's incredibly rude to post pictures of people on social media without their consent or of them making weird faces. But, what it comes down to, is a person who is so rude as to post an unflattering picture online will probably do it anyway even if you ask them not to.
I'm getting married soon, and we're having an 'unplugged' wedding. The main reason is that I don't want the professional photos ruined (see: http://petapixel.com/2013/05/15/guest-photographers-or-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding/ ). I spoke with my photographer and he says that he's always had very good experiences with unplugged weddings, including the response from guests (for the ceremony - people can do whatever they want after that) .
As for guests having the common sense to turn their phones off themselves; if that were true, we wouldn't have teachers taking phones away in class, people making deals in restaurants that the first to touch their phone pays the bill, or advertisements to turn off phones before every theatre movie. Even still, I've sat at many a restaurant where people were texting and e-mailing instead of engaging with the real live people in front of them. Some people have the common courtesy to turn off their phones without being asked, but it is far from universal.
As to whether this is rude to our guests - I guess, in the same way it's rude to them that we didn't ask them specifically where they'd like us to have the ceremony, or which catering company we should use. Those decisions also affected our guests, but ultimately came down to what we wanted for our day. Weddings are inherently selfish, they are a party to celebrate two people. Embrace it, it's a once in a lifetime day (hopefully). Make the decision that is right for you.
Holy shit. There are some ridiculously rude people in here. I would never imagine telling my guests they can't take pictures or use their phones. How freaking obnoxious.
I'm getting married soon, and we're having an 'unplugged' wedding. The main reason is that I don't want the professional photos ruined (see: http://petapixel.com/2013/05/15/guest-photographers-or-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding/ ). That article sucks. Try reading this one instead: http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/ I spoke with my photographer and he says that he's always had very good experiences with unplugged weddings, including the response from guests (for the ceremony - people can do whatever they want after that) . Of course a vendor who wants to get a contract from you is going to agree to your ideas and blow smoke up your butt!
As for guests having the common sense to turn their phones off themselves; if that were true, we wouldn't have teachers taking phones away in class, people making deals in restaurants that the first to touch their phone pays the bill, or advertisements to turn off phones before every theatre movie. Even still, I've sat at many a restaurant where people were texting and e-mailing instead of engaging with the real live people in front of them. That's their perogative! What other people do is their own business. Repeat that- What other people do is their own damn business!! Some people have the common courtesy to turn off their phones without being asked, but it is far from universal.
As to whether this is rude to our guests - I guess, in the same way it's rude to them that we didn't ask them specifically where they'd like us to have the ceremony, or which catering company we should use. Nope, apples and oranges. Having an unplugged ceremony where you ask them not to take pictures is just as rude as asking them to wear certain colors or clothing because it is trying to micromanage and CONTROL them. Where you choose to have your wedding or what you choose to serve isn't trying to control guest behavior. Those decisions also affected our guests, but ultimately came down to what we wanted for our day. Weddings are inherently selfish, No they actually aren't- it's just you brides that are acting inherently selfish that causes this confusion. they are a party to celebrate two people. Embrace it, it's a once in a lifetime day (hopefully). Make the decision that is right for you.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
While I agree that most people do have the common sense to not be jumping out in front of the photographer or to not use flash or not post pictures on Facebook, I also know several very excitable people who, not only would do such things, but have in the past.
I don't mind people with their faces in their phones; if they want to be in the moment with me, great, if not well, I guess we aren't as good of friends as I thought (we're having a very intimate wedding and most people will be coming from OOT so someone who came all that way just to surf Twitter would be really bizarre to me). As long as they stay out of the photographer's way (ie. not jumping out in front of them or into the aisle or whatever), and they keep flash off, I'm ok with their taking pictures or better yet, video. We probably will, however, ask the officiant to make an announcement to silence phones, keep flash off, and be mindful of the photographer we hired; but again, people that have done things previously like jump in front of photographers and people who don't seem to know how flash works will be present.
I think it really comes down to knowing your guests. Most people know to be respectful, but if you know there are people that will ruin shots or blind you with flash or blare out their ringtones, I don't feel like it should be a problem to respectfully ask that they refrain from such things. Just, you know, don't single them out or anything and be polite about it.
I'm a little behind but I think I am in the minority here. I look forward to my guests taking lots and lots and lots of pictures. I am spending butt-loads of money on hair makeup and dress, on flowers and a great ceremony site, take all the picture you wants and share away. I just don't get the news to micromanage every detail of a wedding. Do you actually enjoy you wedding when you are that hung up on things that truly do not matter. As long as I am not picking a wedgy or picking my nose I'm sure whatever pictures are posted will be fine. Heck if I'm picking a wedgy, post away I have a pretty amazing butt!
I'm getting married soon, and we're having an 'unplugged' wedding. The main reason is that I don't want the professional photos ruined (see: http://petapixel.com/2013/05/15/guest-photographers-or-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding/ ). I spoke with my photographer and he says that he's always had very good experiences with unplugged weddings, including the response from guests (for the ceremony - people can do whatever they want after that) .
As for guests having the common sense to turn their phones off themselves; if that were true, we wouldn't have teachers taking phones away in class, people making deals in restaurants that the first to touch their phone pays the bill, or advertisements to turn off phones before every theatre movie. Even still, I've sat at many a restaurant where people were texting and e-mailing instead of engaging with the real live people in front of them. Some people have the common courtesy to turn off their phones without being asked, but it is far from universal.
As to whether this is rude to our guests - I guess, in the same way it's rude to them that we didn't ask them specifically where they'd like us to have the ceremony, or which catering company we should use. Those decisions also affected our guests, but ultimately came down to what we wanted for our day. Weddings are inherently selfish, they are a party to celebrate two people. Embrace it, it's a once in a lifetime day (hopefully). Make the decision that is right for you.
Your logic is skewed. There's just so much wrong with all of your statements.
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you
marry a Muppet Overlord.
I plan on asking for an unplugged wedding, especially after reading this: http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding
I have a bit of an "older" crowd attending and I know they aren't the most tech savvy (not silencing their phone or saying "OH SHIT!" when they miss a shot) - so for me I think it would be a good idea. I want people to be in the moment and not concentrate on taking a pic for facebook. With that being said, EVERY wedding I've attended in the past 2 years has had a cellphone ring during the ceremony or I've been distracted by a guest trying to take a photo on their phone. I'm I favor of the unplugged- your other guests will thank you.
In the end... It's your wedding. If it makes you uncomfortable to see a sea of iPhones, then ask to put them up. You have stated it in a very eloquent and polite way.
Another thing to think about is your photographer and their pictures. You don't want them dodging phones and tablets to get their shot. I've heard so many photographers complain about personal cell phones that are hanging out in the middle of the isle and ruin their shot. (You have spent a ton of money in your pictures already. Do you want your friends and family to ruin your final product?) It's like that Nokia cell phone commercial of the patents fighting over each other to get a shot of their kids jn the school play.
This might piss some people off and please note that it is not meant as an attack, just a statement and opinion... People as a collective whole are stupid and need to be directed. Individuals can be brilliant. But as a whole group, you can never assume or trust them to do anything correct on their own. For example, the phone going off during church. There will always be that black sheep or rude friend. So making a general statement is better for you and your guests that could be distracted or offended by one phone call. If you don't care one way or the other, then don't say anything. Y'all are making this more complicated than it needs to be. There are so many different people in this world. Do what will make you happy.
Ever since TK sent this thread out in the newsletter it brought in people who don't bother to read the thread before posting. This turns into the same crap article being posted about 10 times and the rudeness to grow.
Telling your guests how to behave is rude and demeaning. Most of them are not children and do no need to be teated as such (as for the children, it is up to the parents to teachthem behavior, not you).
This may be "your" wedding, but he moment you invited guests it is no longer solely about what you want. You now need to create an atmosphere for your guests to enjoy themselves and have fun. If this means taking pictures so they have something to look back on, so be it. If they post it to Facebook or Twitter or Instagram and you are so worried about your privacy because you are that cool, update your privacy settings.
I have given my photographers permission to ask guests to move out of the way or to lower their devices if it is in the way of a shot. Obviously, in a polite way. Like, "Hey, excuse me. I'm sorry but do you mind stepping this way/lowering your phone so I can scoot right here and get a shot. Thanks!" Most people will comply.
We are having an unplugged wedding too. Here is the wording we used on our website.. (the commissioner will also be saying some of this before the ceremony starts.)
We invite you to be truly present on our wedding day. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how the moment looks — we encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology.
We respectfully ask that everyone leave all cameras and cell phones off during the ceremony and the 'ceremonial parts' of the reception, including the first dance, parent dances, toasts, and cake cutting.
We ask you to refrain so we can see your face, and you can see ours, both now and forever in the photos that our photographer will capture.
We will be happy to share our photos with you after our wedding!
I have already posted on our wedding facebook page that we will be a technology free ceremony because we want everyone to be able to be in the moment with us while our photographer captures the moments for us. We had an overall positive response with many people commenting that they wish they had done that themselves.
It is not impolite to request that in our program, on your website, and even talk about it at your shower because the most important part of the day is the actual exchange of vows between the two of you and there should be no compromises made (considering how many we have all made up to this point) for what you want for this moment to be.
Also if your guests are going to be offended by assuming they have no common sense, they clearly have not been to many weddings lately because it seems to be the trend of holding the phone up so no one else can even see the bride.
Talk about oxymoron statements...sigh.
It is rude. The only time is is not rude to tell guests they can't take photos or use flash is if the venue/church has the rule, NOT the B&G. And then the hired photog better adhere to the same rules.
You should either accept your family and friends as they are, or stop hanging out with people you find rude and lacking common sense.
We are having an unplugged wedding too. Here is the wording we used on our website.. (the commissioner will also be saying some of this before the ceremony starts.)
We invite you to be truly present on our wedding day. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how the moment looks — we encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology.
We respectfully ask that everyone leave all cameras and cell phones off during the ceremony and the 'ceremonial parts' of the reception, including the first dance, parent dances, toasts, and cake cutting.
We ask you to refrain so we can see your face, and you can see ours, both now and forever in the photos that our photographer will capture.
We will be happy to share our photos with you after our wedding!
AddieCake said:
I throw up in my mouth a little every time someone says they want their guests to be present and in the moment.
^^^
But yep the same sedimental saps don't want their guests to have any photos of the joyous occasion so they can relive that oh-so-precious-mement that they HAD to be present & in the moment for...BARF
"invite you to" means we are happy for you to - I see nothing wrong with that - however be prepared and Unoffended if they choose to snap pictures or videos. Of course any with children not present will keep cells handy for emergencies. I think Inviting them to unplug and just enjoy the celebration with you is wonderful - I would stress invite and unplug qualified with if you are able.
This might piss some people off and please note that it is not meant as an attack, just a statement and opinion... People as a collective whole are stupid and need to be directed. Individuals can be brilliant. But as a whole group, you can never assume or trust them to do anything correct on their own. For example, the phone going off during church. There will always be that black sheep or rude friend. So making a general statement is better for you and your guests that could be distracted or offended by one phone call. If you don't care one way or the other, then don't say anything. Y'all are making this more complicated than it needs to be. There are so many different people in this world. Do what will make you happy.
It's amazing how little you think of your family and friends. The people you invite to your wedding are supposed to be your nearest and dearest, and you think they're all stupid?! Here's a suggestion - just elope.
Things I find baffling after reading all 10 pages of this thread:
...the number of people who DON'T read!!
...the number of people who, when they choose to read, read the one (stupid ass) article written by a piss-poor photographer.
...the number of people who have hired incompetent photographers, who are incapable of getting a good shot outside of a completely sterile & totally contrived environment.
...the number of people who think their friends & loved ones are rude morons.
...the number of people who think their wedding will be THEE best, most special, present-demanding event ever to take place in the entire history of the universe.
I give up on humanity (...not really, just the entitled mass of soon-to-be brides. Keep drinking the kool-aid, ladies!). Now, who's got cake???
Without realizing it, guests can completely mess up the professional pictures that you are paying for. I think its important to at least make people aware, so they can be a little more inconspicuous.
Without realizing it, guests can completely mess up the professional pictures that you are paying for. I think its important to at least make people aware, so they can be a little more inconspicuous.
OMG why can't people fucking READ!!!!!!!
Seriously that article has been posted 500 fucking times. For fucks sake, if you are going to post on a forum/thread then you should fucking read what has been posted before you blinding write something dumb and pointless.
STOP POSTING THE SAME FUCKING ARTICLE. WE'VE ALL SEEN IT MULTIPLE TIMES IN THIS THREAD AS WELL AS THE DOZENS OF OTHER TIMES IT HAS BEEN POSTED ON TK AND ALL OVER THE INTERNET.
PLEASE READ THREADS BEFORE RESPONDING.
PLEASE GET A CLUE.
What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
Without realizing it, guests can completely mess up the professional pictures that you are paying for. I think its important to at least make people aware, so they can be a little more inconspicuous.
1st- The Huffington Post is a joke. I don't trust half of the articles they publish.
2nd, that article that YOU ALL KEEP POSTING in order to validate your rudeness is terrible and I believe many of the images have been manipulated in Photoshop to validate this unplugged wedding bullshit that Corey Ann is peddling.
"Flash from a camera messing up your photo, well, that’s why my camera
shoots 8 frames a second. I’ll have 7 other images to choose from – like
this one where the audience flash made the photo look even better – and
chances are, my flashes will screw up their images more than the other
way around."
If your photographer misses all 8 shots with his fancy DSLR because a guest uses their flash, then you should probably have hired a photographer who knows what the fuck they are doing.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
We are having an unplugged wedding too. Here is the wording we used on our website.. (the commissioner will also be saying some of this before the ceremony starts.)
We invite you to be truly present on our wedding day. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how the moment looks — we encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology.
We respectfully ask that everyone leave all cameras and cell phones off during the ceremony and the 'ceremonial parts' of the reception, including the first dance, parent dances, toasts, and cake cutting.
We ask you to refrain so we can see your face, and you can see ours, both now and forever in the photos that our photographer will capture.
We will be happy to share our photos with you after our wedding!
All this little blurb says is: "Our wedding is truly the most important day in the history of time, and although you've accepted the invitation to attend, we don't trust that you're fully committed to acknowledging the level of importance our wedding day holds. We're here to remind you that on the day of our wedding, the rest of your lives should cease to exist in your mind and you should bask in the glory of being in our presence." I'm being serious. This is among the most self-absorbed proclamations I've ever read. Spare yourself the humiliation of everyone talking about you behind your back and don't include this statement anywhere that your guests will read it.
I hate the phrase "unplugged wedding." Unplugged from what exactly? You get that unless they are physically charging at the time, digital cameras ans cell phones are not "plugged" into anything, correct? was this term coined by a person who is too young to remember when electronic devices had to be physically plugged in to work? This is like when up and coming musicians release "mix tapes" today. Are they actually tapes? If so, how does anyone listen to them? Oh right. they're not tapes, you just don't understand WTF you're saying.
I was at a wedding where guests were asked to "refrain from posting personal photos on FB because the B&G want to be the first ones to post them there." We all rolled our eyes so far back into our heads they were almost lost forever. But everyone abided. Most reasonable people don't want to blow up your spot by announcing your wedding on FB before you do it yourself. if your friends would do this, they suck, and that is unfortunate for you. maybe don't invite them.
Please note that at the above wedding we were all offended simply because we were told not to post our personal pictures on FB - no one tried to control our ability to take pictures. That would not have gone over well.
And i'd like to reiterate - if your photographer can't figure a way around guest's flashes, get a better photographer. That should be a non-issue for a professional.
Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?
THIS is why I don't buy into all of this unplugged BS being propagated by brides and professional photographers. If a guest uses their flash and your photographer misses all 8 shots, they are doing it wrong.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
Another thing to think about is your photographer and their pictures. You don't want them dodging phones and tablets to get their shot. I've heard so many photographers complain about personal cell phones that are hanging out in the middle of the isle and ruin their shot. (You have spent a ton of money in your pictures already. Do you want your friends and family to ruin your final product?) It's like that Nokia cell phone commercial of the patents fighting over each other to get a shot of their kids jn the school play.
Ever since TK sent this thread out in the newsletter it brought in people who don't bother to read the thread before posting. This turns into the same crap article being posted about 10 times and the rudeness to grow.
Telling your guests how to behave is rude and demeaning. Most of them are not children and do no need to be teated as such (as for the children, it is up to the parents to teachthem behavior, not you).
This may be "your" wedding, but he moment you invited guests it is no longer solely about what you want. You now need to create an atmosphere for your guests to enjoy themselves and have fun. If this means taking pictures so they have something to look back on, so be it. If they post it to Facebook or Twitter or Instagram and you are so worried about your privacy because you are that cool, update your privacy settings.
I have given my photographers permission to ask guests to move out of the way or to lower their devices if it is in the way of a shot. Obviously, in a polite way. Like, "Hey, excuse me. I'm sorry but do you mind stepping this way/lowering your phone so I can scoot right here and get a shot. Thanks!" Most people will comply.
We invite you to be truly present on our wedding day. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how the moment looks — we encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology.
We respectfully ask that everyone leave all cameras and cell phones off during the ceremony and the 'ceremonial parts' of the reception, including the first dance, parent dances, toasts, and cake cutting.
We ask you to refrain so we can see your face, and you can see ours, both now and forever in the photos that our photographer will capture.
We will be happy to share our photos with you after our wedding!
But yep the same sedimental saps don't want their guests to have any photos of the joyous occasion so they can relive that oh-so-precious-mement that they HAD to be present & in the moment for...BARF
@catbrad Please read the whole thread before you post. This article has been posted multiple times.
Try reading this: http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/ that @lovesclimbing posted
2nd, that article that YOU ALL KEEP POSTING in order to validate your rudeness is terrible and I believe many of the images have been manipulated in Photoshop to validate this unplugged wedding bullshit that Corey Ann is peddling.
From the following article: http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/
"Flash from a camera messing up your photo, well, that’s why my camera shoots 8 frames a second. I’ll have 7 other images to choose from – like this one where the audience flash made the photo look even better – and chances are, my flashes will screw up their images more than the other way around."
If your photographer misses all 8 shots with his fancy DSLR because a guest uses their flash, then you should probably have hired a photographer who knows what the fuck they are doing.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I hate the phrase "unplugged wedding." Unplugged from what exactly? You get that unless they are physically charging at the time, digital cameras ans cell phones are not "plugged" into anything, correct? was this term coined by a person who is too young to remember when electronic devices had to be physically plugged in to work? This is like when up and coming musicians release "mix tapes" today. Are they actually tapes? If so, how does anyone listen to them? Oh right. they're not tapes, you just don't understand WTF you're saying.
I was at a wedding where guests were asked to "refrain from posting personal photos on FB because the B&G want to be the first ones to post them there." We all rolled our eyes so far back into our heads they were almost lost forever. But everyone abided. Most reasonable people don't want to blow up your spot by announcing your wedding on FB before you do it yourself. if your friends would do this, they suck, and that is unfortunate for you. maybe don't invite them.
Please note that at the above wedding we were all offended simply because we were told not to post our personal pictures on FB - no one tried to control our ability to take pictures. That would not have gone over well.
And i'd like to reiterate - if your photographer can't figure a way around guest's flashes, get a better photographer. That should be a non-issue for a professional.