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Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

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Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

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    sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    ffrotor105 said:
    Sadly, most DON"T have any common sense when it comes to weddings.  How many times during regular Sunday service does someone's phone ring?  They also lose their minds when it comes to taking photos, especially with iPads…..  I don't think it's rude at all, especially if it's done nicely, to remind people to silence their phones and not take photos during the ceremony.  Perhaps the pastor could make an announcement before the wedding begins. :)
    I'm pretty sure most people do have this common sense. Plus, at most weddings I have attended, anybody being rude during the ceremony gets some pretty severe glares from other guests. People will handle it. Why does the bride need to micromanage every detail of the wedding day?
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    SaraBrideSoon said:
    ffrotor105 said:
    Sadly, most DON"T have any common sense when it comes to weddings.  How many times during regular Sunday service does someone's phone ring?  They also lose their minds when it comes to taking photos, especially with iPads…..  I don't think it's rude at all, especially if it's done nicely, to remind people to silence their phones and not take photos during the ceremony.  Perhaps the pastor could make an announcement before the wedding begins. :)
    I'm pretty sure most people do have this common sense. Plus, at most weddings I have attended, anybody being rude during the ceremony gets some pretty severe glares from other guests. People will handle it. Why does the bride need to micromanage every detail of the wedding day?
    If you are a Bride posting in this thread about how most people don't have common sense, are stupid, etc. . . perhaps the issue is really just your family and friends.

    Don't trash talk the whole of society just because you want to be a controlling Bridezilla.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    krystalanne20krystalanne20 member
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    I love the idea of keeping just the ceremony unplugged while vows are being spoken, it also gives my photographer a chance to capture my guest being so focused, and keeps the simple romantic theme going! As for the reception, snap away the more photos the better! and as soon as they pronounce man  and wife, go right ahead and take your phone out. 
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    emmaaaemmaaa mod
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    krystalanne20 said:
    I love the idea of keeping just the ceremony unplugged while vows are being spoken, it also gives my photographer a chance to capture my guest being so focused, and keeps the simple romantic theme going! As for the reception, snap away the more photos the better! and as soon as they pronounce man  and wife, go right ahead and take your phone out. 

    @krystalanne20 So you are more concerned with a photographer catching photos of your guests being "focused" on you (because it is your day right?) rather than the photographer taking photos of you? Guests aren't going to be too focused because most wedding ceremonies are exactly the same or at least very similar. Brides are not as important as they think they are.

    P.S. A wedding is romantic in and of itself. It does not need anything or lack of anything to keep that theme going.


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    jessg0923jessg0923 member
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    I myself recently had an unplugged ceremony in December, and not one of my 250 guests had an issue with it - they all respected our wishes and many of them commented that they felt more connected! They were certainly allowed to take as many photos as they wanted after the ceremony, during cocktail hour and the reception; however, most of them were having so much fun not tied to their devices that they enjoyed themselves in the moment and allowed the photographer to take all of their pictures (instead of fumbling around, focusing instagram/twitter/facebook updates). Don't get me wrong - we are a young couple and half of our wedding guests consisted of our young friends - we are all about social media! This celebration is about one thing: the fact that you are married! So if you have this one simple request for people, then go for it. 

    This is how I worded it on my wedding website, and the officiant also made several kind announcements reading this paragraph before we started our ceremony, as well as the ushers gently reminding friends and family as they were seated:

    We want you to be able to really enjoy our Wedding Ceremony, feeling truly present and in the moment with us. We've hired an amazing wedding photographer named Ray Santana and videographer Dorian Iribarren who will be capturing the way the wedding looks - and we're inviting each of you to sit back, relax, and just enjoy how the wedding feels.

    We're respectfully asking that everyone leave all cameras and cell phones off during the Ceremony. We will be happy to share our Wedding Ceremony photos with you afterward!


    (and we did share them - they are all over Facebook, and everyone is perfectly thrilled)

    To those who say it's rude: it all depends on your wording, and if the people you have invited to your wedding truly care about you and love you, they will respect your special day without complaint. I recently was looking at both my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law's wedding albums (so classy)...no one at their weddings had a personal camera, so don't worry, I think your wedding guests will survive. Who will be looking at your wedding photos in years to come? Your children, grandchildren, and your family's future generations - not your ex-college roommate's descendants or Cousin Al's descendants.

    And, YES, it does ruin the composition and lovely look of your photos (unless you like that sort of thing) to have flashes going off and people with their phones out when they should be watching you, intently, say your vows, cry your tears, and kiss. My photographer and videographer (who are both highly reputable craftsmen in Miami) were thrilled when I told them we would be doing this for our ceremony. When you get your photos back after the most important day of your life, you want the pictures to capture and depict the way YOU FELT on that day, not have your romance displayed beautifully center frame with Uncle Jo's iphone in the lower hand corner.

    Lastly, PLEASE don't reply to me if you disagree with me - I am not trying to start a war. I am simply sharing my personal experience and offering support to the bride and her inquiry. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I am simply offering a different one. I have seen way too many people on this website get nasty (and the language!) over something so trivial, so let's try to refrain from getting defensive and just help I9i come to a decision that works for HER.
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    crunchymamaof2 crunchymamaof2 member
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    edited April 2014
    I'll skip the pictures of my "focused" guests tyvm. I don't need to look back at the pictures and wonder why everyone looks like they're taking a big shit. Seriously, why not force everyone to hold open their eyelids and tie them to their chair so they can't move their heads to look in another direction? Because you aren't that fucking special. Why not be grateful that your guests love you and want to share in your day?

    Here's a poll: how many here have openly shared and given printing rights to your guests? How many guests actually asked for professional photos (aside from immediate family). How many of you would have made your guests pay for those pictures? I've never asked for them and no guest has asked me. They want to take their own pictures. Your guests want to remember your wedding day. They want to be able to share these pictures with you and future generations in the years to come. No one is being malicious in their photo taking. In fact it's YOU being selfish and full of yourselves. The quickest way to make people not pay attention and be 'in the moment'? Continue treating them like children.

    I also hope you all get your money back after your incompetent photographers take shitty pictures even without guests getting in heir way. @krystalanne20 @ffrotor25 @teresakathryn @catbrad ....and all the other lost causes that blindly posted.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

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    emmaaaemmaaa mod
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    jessg0923 said:
    I myself recently had an unplugged ceremony in December, and not one of my 250 guests had an issue with it - they all respected our wishes and many of them commented that they felt more connected! They were certainly allowed to take as many photos as they wanted after the ceremony, during cocktail hour and the reception; however, most of them were having so much fun not tied to their devices that they enjoyed themselves in the moment and allowed the photographer to take all of their pictures (instead of fumbling around, focusing instagram/twitter/facebook updates). Don't get me wrong - we are a young couple and half of our wedding guests consisted of our young friends - we are all about social media! This celebration is about one thing: the fact that you are married! So if you have this one simple request for people, then go for it. 

    This is how I worded it on my wedding website, and the officiant also made several kind announcements reading this paragraph before we started our ceremony, as well as the ushers gently reminding friends and family as they were seated:

    We want you to be able to really enjoy our Wedding Ceremony, feeling truly present and in the moment with us. We've hired an amazing wedding photographer named Ray Santana and videographer Dorian Iribarren who will be capturing the way the wedding looks - and we're inviting each of you to sit back, relax, and just enjoy how the wedding feels.

    We're respectfully asking that everyone leave all cameras and cell phones off during the Ceremony. We will be happy to share our Wedding Ceremony photos with you afterward!


    (and we did share them - they are all over Facebook, and everyone is perfectly thrilled)

    To those who say it's rude: it all depends on your wording, and if the people you have invited to your wedding truly care about you and love you, they will respect your special day without complaint. I recently was looking at both my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law's wedding albums (so classy)...no one at their weddings had a personal camera, so don't worry, I think your wedding guests will survive. Who will be looking at your wedding photos in years to come? Your children, grandchildren, and your family's future generations - not your ex-college roommate's descendants or Cousin Al's descendants.

    And, YES, it does ruin the composition and lovely look of your photos (unless you like that sort of thing) to have flashes going off and people with their phones out when they should be watching you, intently, say your vows, cry your tears, and kiss. My photographer and videographer (who are both highly reputable craftsmen in Miami) were thrilled when I told them we would be doing this for our ceremony. When you get your photos back after the most important day of your life, you want the pictures to capture and depict the way YOU FELT on that day, not have your romance displayed beautifully center frame with Uncle Jo's iphone in the lower hand corner.

    Lastly, PLEASE don't reply to me if you disagree with me - I am not trying to start a war. I am simply sharing my personal experience and offering support to the bride and her inquiry. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I am simply offering a different one. I have seen way too many people on this website get nasty (and the language!) over something so trivial, so let's try to refrain from getting defensive and just help I9i come to a decision that works for HER.


    @jessg0923 Just because people did not tell you that you offended them, doesn't mean you didn't offend them. Were these guests in middle school or high school? Did you tell the them consequences of not following this ridiculous rule? Don't treat adults like adolescents.

    Your photographers were probably thrilled because by asking for no cell phone or camera useage, you pretty much made their job cake. I'm sure your pictures turned out great but I can bet they would have been just as good had your guests taken picture simutaneously. You may have even gotten some great shots by the guests.

    And for you to tell people not to reply is pretty much asking for us to reply. You can't dictate who responds to you on a public forum.


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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    edited April 2014
    jessg0923 said: I myself recently had an unplugged ceremony in December, and not one of my 250 guests had an issue with it - they all respected our wishes and many of them commented that they felt more connected! They were certainly allowed to take as many photos as they wanted after the ceremony, during cocktail hour and the reception; however, most of them were having so much fun not tied to their devices that they enjoyed themselves in the moment and allowed the photographer to take all of their pictures (instead of fumbling around, focusing instagram/twitter/facebook updates). Don't get me wrong - we are a young couple and half of our wedding guests consisted of our young friends - we are all about social media! This celebration is about one thing: the fact that you are married! So if you have this one simple request for people, then go for it. 
    This is how I worded it on my wedding website, and the officiant also made several kind announcements reading this paragraph before we started our ceremony, as well as the ushers gently reminding friends and family as they were seated:
    We want you to be able to really enjoy our Wedding Ceremony, feeling truly present and in the moment with us. We've hired an amazing wedding photographer named Ray Santana and videographer Dorian Iribarren who will be capturing the way the wedding looks - and we're inviting each of you to sit back, relax, and just enjoy how the wedding feels.We're respectfully asking that everyone leave all cameras and cell phones off during the Ceremony. We will be happy to share our Wedding Ceremony photos with you afterward!
    (and we did share them - they are all over Facebook, and everyone is perfectly thrilled)
    To those who say it's rude: it all depends on your wording, and if the people you have invited to your wedding truly care about you and love you, they will respect your special day without complaint. I recently was looking at both my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law's wedding albums (so classy)...no one at their weddings had a personal camera, so don't worry, I think your wedding guests will survive. Who will be looking at your wedding photos in years to come? Your children, grandchildren, and your family's future generations - not your ex-college roommate's descendants or Cousin Al's descendants.
    And, YES, it does ruin the composition and lovely look of your photos (unless you like that sort of thing) to have flashes going off and people with their phones out when they should be watching you, intently, say your vows, cry your tears, and kiss. My photographer and videographer (who are both highly reputable craftsmen in Miami) were thrilled when I told them we would be doing this for our ceremony. When you get your photos back after the most important day of your life, you want the pictures to capture and depict the way YOU FELT on that day, not have your romance displayed beautifully center frame with Uncle Jo's iphone in the lower hand corner.
    Lastly, PLEASE don't reply to me if you disagree with me - I am not trying to start a war. I am simply sharing my personal experience and offering support to the bride and her inquiry. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I am simply offering a different one. I have seen way too many people on this website get nasty (and the language!) over something so trivial, so let's try to refrain from getting defensive and just help I9i come to a decision that works for HER. __________________________________________________________________
     "...just enjoy how the wedding     feels."

    Gag me.

    ETA: dumb quote boxes!

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    sofakingmadsofakingmad member
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    I didn't have an unplugged ceremony and my pictures turned out fantastic.  

    But obviously the HuffPost has the ability to brainwash ALL brides into thinking that they must do this.  
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    SmileDamnitSmileDamnit member
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    edited April 2014
    DragonBlood13 said:
    I didn't have an unplugged ceremony and my pictures turned out fantastic.  

    But obviously the HuffPost has the ability to brainwash ALL brides into thinking that they must do this.  
    I also think it's brilliant marketing by sub-par photographers that deserve "thanks" (read: to be punched in the face). If they ensure no one else get's any good shots at the wedding via buy-in to the whole unplugged theme, then peeps will be forced to use/buy/share only their pictures. How sad when the pros view wedding guests as competition. 

    *edited cuz spelling is hard*
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    jessg0923jessg0923 member
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    Yes, I can see that. You certainly sound like a lovely person, but no, we are not in middle school or high school. We are all in our twenties with bachelors degrees or higher (just to give you a frame of reference). There were no consequences, since this was not a "rule" of any sort but a simple request to those that love us. I actually did have over 20 separate un-related individuals mention afterwards that they felt free of their devices. 

    Certainly there may have been some who opposed the idea, but they were still free to do as they wished. Since the ceremony only lasted for 25 minutes, they all managed. Most people want pictures of themselves, though, dancing or reuniting with friends and family. Like I said, I am not trying to start a war. I am simply sharing my personal experience (which was a very successful one) and offering support to the bride and her inquiry. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I am simply offering a different one. 

    And yes, my pictures came out fantastic. I am glad I was able to make the photographer's job easier if that is the case, although it was an inadvertent result of my husband and I's own personal wishes to have an unplugged ceremony.
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    emmaaaemmaaa mod
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    jessg0923 said:
    Yes, I can see that. You certainly sound like a lovely person, but no, we are not in middle school or high school. We are all in our twenties with bachelors degrees or higher (just to give you a frame of reference). There were no consequences, since this was not a "rule" of any sort but a simple request to those that love us. I actually did have over 20 separate un-related individuals mention afterwards that they felt free of their devices. 

    Certainly there may have been some who opposed the idea, but they were still free to do as they wished. Since the ceremony only lasted for 25 minutes, they all managed. Most people want pictures of themselves, though, dancing or reuniting with friends and family. Like I said, I am not trying to start a war. I am simply sharing my personal experience (which was a very successful one) and offering support to the bride and her inquiry. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I am simply offering a different one. 

    And yes, my pictures came out fantastic. I am glad I was able to make the photographer's job easier if that is the case, although it was an inadvertent result of my husband and I's own personal wishes to have an unplugged ceremony.
    Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinions. Just know that some opinions are rude.

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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    bethsmiles said:
    If your photographer is the one telling you to have an unplugged wedding, I'd especially encourage you to have your guests take pictures - those might be the only good ones you get since clearly your photographer doesn't know how to do wedding photography.

    I just don't get this whole needing guests to be in the moment or present or whatever. I'm perfectly capable of snapping some pictures (discretely and not in a distracting or rude way) and still paying attention to what's going on in the ceremony. Also, I love taking pictures so I'd be really annoyed if I was told I can't for any of the ridiculous reasons people have listed on this thread.

    Finally - what is wrong with the people some of you posters go to church with?! I can't remember a cell phone ever going off during the service at my church. And even if a cell phone did go off during the ceremony I don't really understand why it's the end of the world. Are you expecting absolute silence to fall while you say your vows? It's just background noise, it's not a big deal.
    Yes, a wedding should be treated with all the awe, reverence, and solemnity of a funeral.

     ><


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    misshart00misshart00 member
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    Apparently I go to a really weird church because people take photos during service if there's something fun/interesting going on.
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    luckysnorkelluckysnorkel member
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    Well this thread sure turned into a boondoggle.

    I don't think I've ever taken a single picture during a wedding ceremony.  That doesn't mean I have strong feelings against it though, it's more that I just don't think to do it.  And yet, I guarantee I have still never been 100% "present" for the entirety of any wedding I've attended.  I love weddings, and I've been to some great ones.  Emotional ones that made me cry.  But guess what?  I might still spend some time thinking about something THAT ISN'T THE WEDDING.  It's human nature.  It doesn't mean I love the bride and groom any less.
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    misshart00 said:
    Apparently I go to a really weird church because people take photos during service if there's something fun/interesting going on.
    It sounds like you go to a fun church!

    I think God has a lot more shit to worry about than people taking photos during Mass.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    InkdancerInkdancer member
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    PrettyGirlLost said:
    misshart00 said:
    Apparently I go to a really weird church because people take photos during service if there's something fun/interesting going on.
    It sounds like you go to a fun church!

    I think God has a lot more shit to worry about than people taking photos during Mass.
    Our church has Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts so you can post pictures of church activities and tag them. They actively encourage us to use our phones during service!
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    delujm0delujm0 member
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    I just don't really like people dictating to me how i should feel or what i should be thinking at any given time...because i am an adult human being who is capable of making her own decisions about what i should feel and think about.  So telling me to "be present" and "feel the ceremony" is insulting.  If you are telling me this, I can guarantee you you're not even half as important as you imagine yourself to be.  IT'S JUST A WEDDING.  MILLIONS OF THEM HAPPEN EVERY YEAR.  GET OVER YOURSELF.

     

    Also, "be present" and "feel the ceremony" sound to me like your standard "I am the bride and all attention should be 100% on me at all times!" BS.  You're just a person.  A person that your guests love, but still.  Just a normal person who is getting married.  Again, millions of people every year do the exact same thing.  Not special.

     

    Unless my guests decide to get up, approach the alter, and attempt to participate in my ceremony, i don't care in the slightest what they're doing/thinking/feeling for the 30 minutes that it is taking place.  because they are adults who have the freedom and intelligence to do/think/feel whatever and however they deem appropriate for the situation at hand.

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    misshart00misshart00 member
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    Inkdancer said:


    PrettyGirlLost said:


    misshart00 said:

    Apparently I go to a really weird church because people take photos during service if there's something fun/interesting going on.

    It sounds like you go to a fun church!

    I think God has a lot more shit to worry about than people taking photos during Mass.

    Our church has Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts so you can post pictures of church activities and tag them. They actively encourage us to use our phones during service!


    Yep. Same here.
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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    jessg0923 said:
    I myself recently had an unplugged ceremony in December, and not one of my 250 guests had an issue with it - they all respected our wishes and many of them commented that they felt more connected! They were certainly allowed to take as many photos as they wanted after the ceremony, during cocktail hour and the reception; however, most of them were having so much fun not tied to their devices that they enjoyed themselves in the moment and allowed the photographer to take all of their pictures (instead of fumbling around, focusing instagram/twitter/facebook updates). Don't get me wrong - we are a young couple and half of our wedding guests consisted of our young friends - we are all about social media! This celebration is about one thing: the fact that you are married! So if you have this one simple request for people, then go for it. 

    This is how I worded it on my wedding website, and the officiant also made several kind announcements reading this paragraph before we started our ceremony, as well as the ushers gently reminding friends and family as they were seated:

    We want you to be able to really enjoy our Wedding Ceremony, feeling truly present and in the moment with us. We've hired an amazing wedding photographer named Ray Santana and videographer Dorian Iribarren who will be capturing the way the wedding looks - and we're inviting each of you to sit back, relax, and just enjoy how the wedding feels.

    We're respectfully asking that everyone leave all cameras and cell phones off during the Ceremony. We will be happy to share our Wedding Ceremony photos with you afterward!


    (and we did share them - they are all over Facebook, and everyone is perfectly thrilled)

    To those who say it's rude: it all depends on your wording, and if the people you have invited to your wedding truly care about you and love you, they will respect your special day without complaint. I recently was looking at both my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law's wedding albums (so classy)...no one at their weddings had a personal camera, so don't worry, I think your wedding guests will survive. Who will be looking at your wedding photos in years to come? Your children, grandchildren, and your family's future generations - not your ex-college roommate's descendants or Cousin Al's descendants.

    And, YES, it does ruin the composition and lovely look of your photos (unless you like that sort of thing) to have flashes going off and people with their phones out when they should be watching you, intently, say your vows, cry your tears, and kiss. My photographer and videographer (who are both highly reputable craftsmen in Miami) were thrilled when I told them we would be doing this for our ceremony. When you get your photos back after the most important day of your life, you want the pictures to capture and depict the way YOU FELT on that day, not have your romance displayed beautifully center frame with Uncle Jo's iphone in the lower hand corner.

    Lastly, PLEASE don't reply to me if you disagree with me - I am not trying to start a war. I am simply sharing my personal experience and offering support to the bride and her inquiry. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I am simply offering a different one. I have seen way too many people on this website get nasty (and the language!) over something so trivial, so let's try to refrain from getting defensive and just help I9i come to a decision that works for HER.
    Telling someone not to reply to a post on a public forum is as condescending, patronizing, and insulting as telling guests to be "unplugged and present" at a wedding. You get an A+ for consistency.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    @PrettyGirlLost - I will make the exception for your ass :)

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    lyndausvi said:
    Out of all to the breach of etiquette things out there i find this to be one of the least important.   Especially since there are legit reasons to have people not to take photos (i.e. against policy at certain venues, high profile people, etc).    Sure I would side-eye your run of the mill couple's request to "unplug", but in the grand scheme of things it's not all that big of a deal to me.   Then again I always turn off my phones and rarely take pictures of the ceremony.  I would rolls my eyes just like I do at the warning not to use a blowdryer in the bath tub.

    This topic is not worth the 12+ pages it's gotten up to.
    I think the issue is not the request itself, it is the fact that brides today think that they can control everything and everyone at their wedding because it is the most fantastic day ever and should be made into a holiday.  It has just gotten to the point that just because they are getting married they feel like they can tell everyone what they can and cannot do and can and cannot wear, etc.  It is all around ridiculous.

    It also got huge because this post was linked in TKs newsletter so everyone under the sun had to come and post how they have had an unplugged wedding.

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