Wonder if this would have "wowed" me before TK! YES!

LAM524 · April 2014

Past the deadline for RSVP's so making the calls. I have called a couple from church-he is a church Elder. No returned calls. This morning my fiance received a text from the wife (mind you, he didnt call them!). It reads: "Yes, we are coming. I have a reservation for 5 people at the Tony Rotino clubhouse for Easter dinner. You are welcome to join us. Its a buffet for $12.99. Let us know if you guys will be joining us. Soon please! I think its a great deal so I dont have to cook for anyone and "D" (husband) doesnt have to clean up."

WOW!! There is all kinds of wrong with this and I still dont know what their entree selections are!!! This is the same couple who gifted us with a used coupon book at our shower. I know, its the thought that counts! Well..at least she said "please" in her rsvp request!

Inkdancer · April 2014

I'd just text back "so glad to know you're coming! did you want the chicken or the fish?"

At this point, it's easier to just go with it.

LondonLisa · April 2014

LAM524 said:

Past the deadline for RSVP's so making the calls. I have called a couple from church-he is a church Elder. No returned calls. This morning my fiance received a text from the wife (mind you, he didnt call them!). It reads: "Yes, we are coming. I have a reservation for 5 people at the Tony Rotino clubhouse for Easter dinner. You are welcome to join us. Its a buffet for $12.99. Let us know if you guys will be joining us. Soon please! I think its a great deal so I dont have to cook for anyone and "D" (husband) doesnt have to clean up."

WOW!! There is all kinds of wrong with this and I still dont know what their entree selections are!!! This is the same couple who gifted us with a used coupon book at our shower. I know, its the thought that counts! Well..at least she said "please" in her rsvp request!

Honestly, that doesn't bother me. Yes it was harsh to say "soon please" but other than that, I think it was fine.

KatWAG · April 2014

It doesnt bother me either. At least she repsonded. And you can easily decline Easter brunch.

larrygaga · April 2014

Sounds like old people.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

I don't get what the issue is. They responded. And then they invited you to Easter dinner.

grumbledore · April 2014

larrygaga said:

Sounds like old people.

LMAO yes it does. It's weird but old people can be so weird sometimes. The coupon book thing is bizarre and would definitely have me scratching my head. "It's the thought that counts" only works when actual thought is put into something.

sarawifenow · April 2014

Yeah I am failing to see the issue here, too.

grumbledore · April 2014

No one else thinks it was bizarre for this person to respond to NOT the person who called, then not give a meal selection but rather invite the couple to a pay your own way Easter meal?

misshart00 · April 2014

I don't see the issue. As with PP, they RSVP'd then asked if you would like to join them for lunch.

manateehugger · April 2014

I think it souds like absent-minded elderly people. Not a big deal. Just have your FIfollow up.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

grumbledore said:

No one else thinks it was bizarre for this person to respond to NOT the person who called, then not give a meal selection but rather invite the couple to a pay your own way Easter meal?

No. Maybe the wife realized that they hadn't gotten back to them yet and decided to send a quick text to the FI (since maybe that is the only number she had on hand) to say that they will come and to see if they wanted to join them for Easter dinner which is $12.99 a person. And forgetting about the meal choices isn't a sin, she may have honestly forgot that she needed to tell them about it.

And to ask someone to join you and to let you know the price of the dinner is not rude. They were planning on going, extended the invite and let them know the price so that it was known that they were not hosting this dinner. Now it is up to LAM and her FI to decide if they are going to go or decline.

LAM524 · April 2014

I see your points. I personally would never invite someone out to eat and tell them they have to pay. Or that cooking for them or cleaning up after them is a burden therefore come and pay for yourselves! Or ask for an RSVP soon, if I missed an rsvp deadline. Just me.

btw...she is not old. Only 42

Inkdancer · April 2014

grumbledore said:

No one else thinks it was bizarre for this person to respond to NOT the person who called, then not give a meal selection but rather invite the couple to a pay your own way Easter meal?

Oh, I definitely think it's weird, but in the spectrum of annoying RSVPs it's at least an answer.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

I see your points. I personally would never invite someone out to eat and tell them they have to pay. Or that cooking for them or cleaning up after them is a burden therefore come and pay for yourselves! Or ask for an RSVP soon, if I missed an rsvp deadline. Just me.

btw...she is not old. Only 42

I think you are reading way to much into it.

I don't think mentioning the cleaning part is saying that it is a burden. She was just saying that "yay I don't have to cook and H won't have to clean because we are going out to eat instead!" as something good because honestly sometimes you just don't feel like doing it. And unless they had invited you to their home for dinner prior to this message then I don't really see how it is rude.

Telling you how much it costs. Well it is kind of like saying to a group of friends "hey we are going out to dinner, do you want to come?" You don't honestly believe that you have to pay for your friends that you asked do you? No, you don't. It is just an invite to hang out at dinner, not a hosting responsibility.

And she was just letting you know the price so you knew the price if you decided to go. And she probably wants a RSVP soon because Easter is this Sunday. I don't think she was saying it to be nasty but that she just would like to know ASAP since the dinner is probably 4-5 days away.

This is just a casual invitation that they decided to throw your way. Nothing formal.

phira · April 2014

grumbledore said:

No one else thinks it was bizarre for this person to respond to NOT the person who called, then not give a meal selection but rather invite the couple to a pay your own way Easter meal?

Yeah, I think that the ??? here is that they've been impossible to reach, didn't contact the person who'd been trying to call them, and then failed to provide all the info necessary. I wouldn't be as irritated by the pay-your-way Easter invitation because it's easy to decline and pretty up-front. It honestly sounds less like, "We're hosting Easter dinner but you have to pay!" and more like, "We're going out for Easter this year, would you like to join us?"

LondonLisa · April 2014

LAM524 said:

I see your points. I personally would never invite someone out to eat and tell them they have to pay. Or that cooking for them or cleaning up after them is a burden therefore come and pay for yourselves! Or ask for an RSVP soon, if I missed an rsvp deadline. Just me.

btw...she is not old. Only 42

I agree, it is rude to invite someone to dinner and expect them to pay. However, this was very clearly a "join us if you would like, it costs X amount" which isn't a dinner invitation. Are you saying that you have never told a friend to join at a pub or restaurant for an informal meal or drink which is clearly pay for yourself?

It is the same vein as the wedding after party, which we advocate people to spread word of mouth by saying something like "as this is winding down, a few of us are going to X bar, feel free to join". Which is very clearly a casual, no-host event after an (obviously fully hosted) event.

JCbride2015 · April 2014

Wait-- it's rude to invite someone to dinner and expect them to pay? So when I say to my friends, "Hey, want to grab dinner Wednesday night?" I'm supposed to pay for them? Nope.

A few months ago a restaurant near my house had a price-fix special dinner, and we called FPILs to see if they wanted to come. "Hi FFIL, Restaurant is doing this special thing and it's $70/pp. Would you and FMIL like to come?" I don't think that's rude.

grumbledore · April 2014

Maggie0829 said:

grumbledore said:

No one else thinks it was bizarre for this person to respond to NOT the person who called, then not give a meal selection but rather invite the couple to a pay your own way Easter meal?

No. Maybe the wife realized that they hadn't gotten back to them yet and decided to send a quick text to the FI (since maybe that is the only number she had on hand) to say that they will come and to see if they wanted to join them for Easter dinner which is $12.99 a person. And forgetting about the meal choices isn't a sin, she may have honestly forgot that she needed to tell them about it.

And to ask someone to join you and to let you know the price of the dinner is not rude. They were planning on going, extended the invite and let them know the price so that it was known that they were not hosting this dinner. Now it is up to LAM and her FI to decide if they are going to go or decline.

I wouldn't be annoyed or think they were rude, but I would think it was weird.

climbingsingle · April 2014

When I invite my friends out to dinner, we all pay for ourselves.

RebeccaB88 · April 2014

phira said:

grumbledore said:

No one else thinks it was bizarre for this person to respond to NOT the person who called, then not give a meal selection but rather invite the couple to a pay your own way Easter meal?

Yeah, I think that the ??? here is that they've been impossible to reach, didn't contact the person who'd been trying to call them, and then failed to provide all the info necessary. I wouldn't be as irritated by the pay-your-way Easter invitation because it's easy to decline and pretty up-front. It honestly sounds less like, "We're hosting Easter dinner but you have to pay!" and more like, "We're going out for Easter this year, would you like to join us?"

This is what I thought too. Granted, either member of a couple can respond to a message, but I think in general, it's expected that you will respond to the person making the request of you. I think the couple just thought that the FI would pass on the information to OP, which is pretty logical. But OP still has to call them back to get their meal choice, which means she's really still waiting on them to give a complete response. That would seriously peeve me.

I also think they worded the brunch request wrong. To me, 'please join us for brunch' means that they're hosting (paying). But, by mentioning the price, they indicate they aren't paying. So it's kind of roundabout, but they ultimately got their point across. It doesn't seem like they (OP they) are that close to the couple, so it might feel weird that they're invited to brunch with them.

Angusaur · April 2014

I wouldn't let this make me mad, but I would find it weird. Some people are just scatterbrains. Just ask them what they want to eat.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

phira said:

grumbledore said:

No one else thinks it was bizarre for this person to respond to NOT the person who called, then not give a meal selection but rather invite the couple to a pay your own way Easter meal?

Yeah, I think that the ??? here is that they've been impossible to reach, didn't contact the person who'd been trying to call them, and then failed to provide all the info necessary. I wouldn't be as irritated by the pay-your-way Easter invitation because it's easy to decline and pretty up-front. It honestly sounds less like, "We're hosting Easter dinner but you have to pay!" and more like, "We're going out for Easter this year, would you like to join us?"

Her FI is a Pastor or something right? So it makes sense to me that they would send a message to their Pastor- they may feel closer to him or that they know him better.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

Angusaur said:

I wouldn't let this make me mad, but I would find it weird. Some people are just scatterbrains. Just ask them what they want to eat.

Seriously. Just have FI text the wife back saying "thanks for the invite but we already have plans. And by the way we are so happy that you can make our wedding, but could you let us know which meal choice you each would like?" This really isn't that hard, weird, or rude.

ohannabelle · April 2014

Sounds like old people.

Really? Because old people have bad manners?

lyndausvi · April 2014

grumbledore said:

No one else thinks it was bizarre for this person to respond to NOT the person who called, then not give a meal selection but rather invite the couple to a pay your own way Easter meal?

Not really. Maybe FI's number was already in their phone and not hers? They are getting married, I think it's reasonable to respond to either of them.

Meal selection? Maybe they just forgot they even had to make one? Or just forgot to say in the message?

Easter? They obviously wanted them to join them for Easter bunch. Were they suppose to hangup and call again to invite them to Easter?

LAM524 · April 2014

ok ok....maybe I got my panties in a bunch for nothing! Ha! Can I blame it on the stress of getting married in 38 days?

Or the stress of finding out yesterday that our application was approved for our perfect house! All wonderful of course and exciting! Crazy non-the less! Move in date is in 2 weeks! 3 weeks before wedding! And I havent even started the 15 centerpieces or 8 BM bouquets or 110 wedding wands!

Btw...fiance returned her text asking about their entree choices. He also told her that he would speak to me and get back to her about the dinner. She sent a text..."Id like to clarify my invite. "D" and I will be paying for your dinner should you choose to accept." She did not answer his entree question! Ahhhh...deep breaths!

lyndausvi · April 2014

LAM524 said:

ok ok....maybe I got my panties in a bunch for nothing! Ha! Can I blame it on the stress of getting married in 38 days? Or the stress of finding out yesterday that our application was approved for our perfect house! All wonderful of course and exciting! Crazy non-the less! Move in date is in 2 weeks! 3 weeks before wedding! And I havent even started the 15 centerpieces or 8 BM bouquets or 110 wedding wands!

Btw...fiance returned her text asking about their entree choices. He also told her that he would speak to me and get back to her about the dinner. She sent a text..."Id like to clarify my invite. "D" and I will be paying for your dinner should you choose to accept." She did not answer his entree question! Ahhhh...deep breaths!

you need your RSVPs 38 days out?

Mine were due 10days out and I had a lot less stress over the issue.

LAM524 · April 2014

Isn't it amazing. Do you find that most times, the "mountains" dont stress you out? You just forge forward and deal! Adrenaline I suppose! Yet, the "stones" can send us over the edge! *another deep breath*

LAM524 · April 2014

@lindausvi....The venue wants a headcount by May 1st (23 days before)! Off the top of my head, I dont remember the original headcount date but it wasnt May 1st. (I think it was somewhere around 2 weeks before). I sent an email and left message inquiring about the change. My original wedding coordinator went on maternity leave in March so we've been experiencing some changes/a few new requests from this new one. One of which is giving me some stress/disappointment. She wants the names and #'s of the people that WE will have set up any decorations out where the ceremony will be. I had some nice ideas and things I wanted done out there but now, I just dont feel comfortable putting anyone to "work." Originally, we were told to drop everything off and they would take care of it. So, I probably will not do anything outside. Thank goodness the venue is at least setting up the guests chairs!

huskypuppy14 · April 2014

12.99 sounds really inexpensive for Easter dinner.

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