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Etiquette

Children in support of PPDs

afox007afox007 member
500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
edited April 2014 in Etiquette
In less than a week I have had to explain the flaws in a PPD to children twice. On Easter my younger sister was going on about how as soon as she turns 18 her and her bf are gonna run off and get married, but wait a few years to have a wedding when they're older and our family will support it. After first explaining why getting married at 18 was a bad plan I had to explain how rude PPDs are.

Then last night I was watching 4 weddings and was bitching at the tv since one of the "brides" was having a PPD. FSS tried defending her since everyone deserves a wedding. I rolled my eyes, but ignored it since he was young. He went on a rant about how I wouldn't be saying that if his dad and I had to get married ASAP and I didn't get a real wedding.

I think if we want to eliminate the special snowflake mentality we need to start when they are little.
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Re: Children in support of PPDs

  • Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!

    carliealissaHeatherMD02
  • Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!
    Too bad nobody did that with you.
    Nope. Raised by individuals who believe life is short, enjoy it to the fullest. This isn't a dress rehearsal. And I was definitely taught that by all means, I may spend my money as I see fit, because I earned it. Spending someone else's money, not so much. And I am thankful for these lessons every moment of every day. Worrying about what other people may think or what they may say behind my back, pfft, that petty bullshit doesn't keep me awake at night. If someone likes to gossip, that's their fault, not mine. Last I checked, gossiping isn't terribly virtuous. So why should I have to live my life in order to avoid someone else being rude (yes, I classify talking shit behind someone's back rude). Gaff that. I'll not be one laying on my deathbed one day with a whole list of regrets because I was too worried what the peanut gallery had to say. Thankfully, I surround myself with friends and family who share the same view. 

    carliealissaRosebubblyHeatherMD02
  • I will never get the BFD about PPD's.  Nobody even knows what a PPD is who hasn't been on theknot.com.  A friend of mine got married in her living room (I was there and about 10 others), then had a local ceremony and reception later on, then had another reception in South America where her husband's family lives.  I don't see at all what the problem is with that.  I was just immensely sad I was abroad and missed the fun of the other two events.

    A couple can have 10 weddings for all I care.  If I'm invited, I'm entitled to decline if I want.

    FFS. This can't be real. 3 fucking weddings?
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    mollyringwald15
  • Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!
    Too bad nobody did that with you.
    Nope. Raised by individuals who believe life is short, enjoy it to the fullest. This isn't a dress rehearsal. And I was definitely taught that by all means, I may spend my money as I see fit, because I earned it. Spending someone else's money, not so much. And I am thankful for these lessons every moment of every day. Worrying about what other people may think or what they may say behind my back, pfft, that petty bullshit doesn't keep me awake at night. If someone likes to gossip, that's their fault, not mine. Last I checked, gossiping isn't terribly virtuous. So why should I have to live my life in order to avoid someone else being rude (yes, I classify talking shit behind someone's back rude). Gaff that. I'll not be one laying on my deathbed one day with a whole list of regrets because I was too worried what the peanut gallery had to say. Thankfully, I surround myself with friends and family who share the same view. 

    If that were true you wouldn't be omitting the truth (a.k.a lying) to those same friends and family about what your marriage celebration actually is.
    JHC. I've said it multiple times, some DO know, some don't. And the decisions behind who to tell and who not to had (and continues to have) NOTHING to do with the possibility of people talking behind our backs and EVERYTHING to do with how we view our relationship status, and the timing involved in when we would like to publicly announce our marriage (by way of our wedding ceremony). Our decision is about the control of information, which we believe we have a right to, not the fear of gossip. Although for the record I do find gossip unsavory, and an activity engaged in by people who need to find hobbies, more work or something else to do with their time. Those that we decided to tell we told because they were very intimately aware of what was going on with FH's healthcare and/or professional relationships (in addition to personal) that would have found out because they can read basic english (hello, insurance documents) not because we feared people would judge us harshly. What a time suck that would be!







  • Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!

    Too bad nobody did that with you.

    Nope. Raised by individuals who believe life is short, enjoy it to the fullest. This isn't a dress rehearsal. And I was definitely taught that by all means, I may spend my money as I see fit, because I earned it. Spending someone else's money, not so much. And I am thankful for these lessons every moment of every day. Worrying about what other people may think or what they may say behind my back, pfft, that petty bullshit doesn't keep me awake at night. If someone likes to gossip, that's their fault, not mine. Last I checked, gossiping isn't terribly virtuous. So why should I have to live my life in order to avoid someone else being rude (yes, I classify talking shit behind someone's back rude). Gaff that. I'll not be one laying on my deathbed one day with a whole list of regrets because I was too worried what the peanut gallery had to say. Thankfully, I surround myself with friends and family who share the same view. 





    If that were true you wouldn't be omitting the truth (a.k.a lying) to those same friends and family about what your marriage celebration actually is.

    -----------------------------------------------

    Not every PPD is based in a lie. I tend to agree with @stbmraevrrhart and @cougal12 I don't get he BFD deal about ppd. Host me properly and I wil enjoy the hell our of your PPD.
    KeepMovingOnHeatherMD02
  • a13049 said:
    Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!
    Too bad nobody did that with you.
    Nope. Raised by individuals who believe life is short, enjoy it to the fullest. This isn't a dress rehearsal. And I was definitely taught that by all means, I may spend my money as I see fit, because I earned it. Spending someone else's money, not so much. And I am thankful for these lessons every moment of every day. Worrying about what other people may think or what they may say behind my back, pfft, that petty bullshit doesn't keep me awake at night. If someone likes to gossip, that's their fault, not mine. Last I checked, gossiping isn't terribly virtuous. So why should I have to live my life in order to avoid someone else being rude (yes, I classify talking shit behind someone's back rude). Gaff that. I'll not be one laying on my deathbed one day with a whole list of regrets because I was too worried what the peanut gallery had to say. Thankfully, I surround myself with friends and family who share the same view. 

    If that were true you wouldn't be omitting the truth (a.k.a lying) to those same friends and family about what your marriage celebration actually is.
    ----------------------------------------------- Not every PPD is based in a lie. I tend to agree with @stbmraevrrhart and @cougal12 I don't get he BFD deal about ppd. Host me properly and I wil enjoy the hell our of your PPD.
    I do not support PPDs.
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  • Couggal12 said:


    a13049 said:







    Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!

    Too bad nobody did that with you.

    Nope. Raised by individuals who believe life is short, enjoy it to the fullest. This isn't a dress rehearsal. And I was definitely taught that by all means, I may spend my money as I see fit, because I earned it. Spending someone else's money, not so much. And I am thankful for these lessons every moment of every day. Worrying about what other people may think or what they may say behind my back, pfft, that petty bullshit doesn't keep me awake at night. If someone likes to gossip, that's their fault, not mine. Last I checked, gossiping isn't terribly virtuous. So why should I have to live my life in order to avoid someone else being rude (yes, I classify talking shit behind someone's back rude). Gaff that. I'll not be one laying on my deathbed one day with a whole list of regrets because I was too worried what the peanut gallery had to say. Thankfully, I surround myself with friends and family who share the same view. 




    If that were true you wouldn't be omitting the truth (a.k.a lying) to those same friends and family about what your marriage celebration actually is.

    -----------------------------------------------

    Not every PPD is based in a lie. I tend to agree with @stbmraevrrhart and @cougal12 I don't get he BFD deal about ppd. Host me properly and I wil enjoy the hell our of your PPD.


    I do not support PPDs.


    Wrong persona the quotes are hard to follow in mobil
  • OK, I've never known anyone who has lied about it (to my knowledge).  I guess I'm just talking about people having multiple parties- everyone knows when they got married.

    I will never get the BFD about PPD's.  Nobody even knows what a PPD is who hasn't been on theknot.com.  A friend of mine got married in her living room (I was there and about 10 others), then had a local ceremony and reception later on, then had another reception in South America where her husband's family lives.  I don't see at all what the problem is with that.  I was just immensely sad I was abroad and missed the fun of the other two events.

    A couple can have 10 weddings for all I care.  If I'm invited, I'm entitled to decline if I want.

    Is your friend Kim Kardashian by chance?
    Lol!! :)  Nope, they just wanted to celebrate in her husband's country so his family, who couldn't fly to the U.S., had the opportunity to celebrate with them too.

     

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  • Thinking about it, though, I still don't really see the big deal with the story above, or see it as "BEING LIED TO".. you're celebrating their marriage, why the hell do you care when it happened?  So now you know one person, @jdluvr06

     

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  • I will never get the BFD about PPD's.  Nobody even knows what a PPD is who hasn't been on theknot.com.  A friend of mine got married in her living room (I was there and about 10 others), then had a local ceremony and reception later on, then had another reception in South America where her husband's family lives.  I don't see at all what the problem is with that.  I was just immensely sad I was abroad and missed the fun of the other two events.

    A couple can have 10 weddings for all I care.  If I'm invited, I'm entitled to decline if I want.

    It's the lie.  Even if it isn't called a PPD it still happens.  I know a couple who were both in the military.  They were not stationed together.  She put in for a transfer to his base after they got engaged and it was miraculously granted.  Wedding planning commenced.  She flew almost 3000 miles for a bridal shower in her FI's home town.  Then a few months later they drove across the country to her home town.  The celebration lasted 3 days.  The first day was the rehearsal dinner with the family and close friends going back to the bride's parents' house to continue the evening.  The second day was the big white wedding at the church.  To avoid a gap they hosted guests at their house and then everyone went on to the reception.  Day three was a cookout at the parents' house with the families.  The bride's mother spent a year's salary (she worked part time) on the wedding.  The father spent months baking cookies (it was a Pittsburgh region wedding).

    Years later they get divorced and their real wedding date comes out.  They had been married for several months. I have no idea how her parents felt but her brother was pissed that she had lied to them about being married and they had shelled out so much money for a fake wedding.  


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    PrettyGirlLostwrigleyvilleperdonami
  • I have been to "Ppds" but I haven't been lied to about it. If I was lied to about it I would be mad about the lie not about the ppd.
  • Thinking about it, though, I still don't really see the big deal with the story above, or see it as "BEING LIED TO".. you're celebrating their marriage, why the hell do you care when it happened?  So now you know one person, @jdluvr06.  
     
    SITB
     
    If I'm spending money and taking time off to go to your wedding then yes, I care about not being lied to. I appreciate honest because frankly I'll more than likely not go to your wedding if I know it's a PPD.
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    PrettyGirlLostHisGirlFriday13chibiyuiRebeccaB88
  • I missed my graduation ceremony because I had the flu, but I still graduated on paper. I even got a degree to hang on my wall.


    Since I wasn't able to walk in the ceremony, I didn't put on a cap and gown and have a "redo". I didn't invite people to witness my fake commencement. You know why? Because even though I didn't wear the fancy outfit or parade in front of my relatives, I still graduated.

    When you sign that marriage license and make it legal, you are married. It doesn't matter if you don't consider that "real". If it weren't real, you wouldn't do it, because then you wouldn't get those benefits you're in such a rush to get. You're lying to yourself and your nearest and dearest. It's selfish and smacks of entitlement. 

    If you need those benefits immediately, fine, get married and have the wedding you can afford. Can't have the wedding you want because you didn't have time to save up? Too bad. Life sucks, princess. Get a fucking helmet.
    Love the boy meets world reference! The funny thing is with lil sis there would be no benefits she just wants to be married and knows the whole family would think she lost her mind so she wants to wait on a "wedding".
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  • I missed my graduation ceremony because I had the flu, but I still graduated on paper. I even got a degree to hang on my wall.

    Since I wasn't able to walk in the ceremony, I didn't put on a cap and gown and have a "redo". I didn't invite people to witness my fake commencement. You know why? Because even though I didn't wear the fancy outfit or parade in front of my relatives, I still graduated.

    When you sign that marriage license and make it legal, you are married. It doesn't matter if you don't consider that "real". If it weren't real, you wouldn't do it, because then you wouldn't get those benefits you're in such a rush to get. You're lying to yourself and your nearest and dearest. It's selfish and smacks of entitlement. 

    If you need those benefits immediately, fine, get married and have the wedding you can afford. Can't have the wedding you want because you didn't have time to save up? Too bad. Life sucks, princess. Get a fucking helmet.
    A thousand times yes.
    lc07ohannabelle
  • I missed my graduation ceremony because I had the flu, but I still graduated on paper. I even got a degree to hang on my wall.


    Since I wasn't able to walk in the ceremony, I didn't put on a cap and gown and have a "redo". I didn't invite people to witness my fake commencement. You know why? Because even though I didn't wear the fancy outfit or parade in front of my relatives, I still graduated.

    When you sign that marriage license and make it legal, you are married. It doesn't matter if you don't consider that "real". If it weren't real, you wouldn't do it, because then you wouldn't get those benefits you're in such a rush to get. You're lying to yourself and your nearest and dearest. It's selfish and smacks of entitlement. 

    If you need those benefits immediately, fine, get married and have the wedding you can afford. Can't have the wedding you want because you didn't have time to save up? Too bad. Life sucks, princess. Get a fucking helmet.
    I completed and graduated with my masters degree in February and got all of the benefits of that graduation in feb. I was still allowed to participate in my commencement ceremony. It still
    Meant a lot to my family and I as I was the first to graduate from college, let alone a graduate degree.
    perdonami
  • whitjoywhitjoy member
    100 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    a13049 said:
    I missed my graduation ceremony because I had the flu, but I still graduated on paper. I even got a degree to hang on my wall.

    Since I wasn't able to walk in the ceremony, I didn't put on a cap and gown and have a "redo". I didn't invite people to witness my fake commencement. You know why? Because even though I didn't wear the fancy outfit or parade in front of my relatives, I still graduated.

    When you sign that marriage license and make it legal, you are married. It doesn't matter if you don't consider that "real". If it weren't real, you wouldn't do it, because then you wouldn't get those benefits you're in such a rush to get. You're lying to yourself and your nearest and dearest. It's selfish and smacks of entitlement. 

    If you need those benefits immediately, fine, get married and have the wedding you can afford. Can't have the wedding you want because you didn't have time to save up? Too bad. Life sucks, princess. Get a fucking helmet.
    I completed and graduated with my masters degree in February and got all of the benefits of that graduation in feb. I was still allowed to participate in my commencement ceremony. It still Meant a lot to my family and I as I was the first to graduate from college, let alone a graduate degree.

    no...you may have been done with your coursework and requirements, but you don't have a diploma, you did not have the degree until graduation.
    ...also "I have been to "Ppds" but I haven't been lied to about it. If I was lied to about it I would be mad about the lie not about the ppd"
    lie=ppd, they are one-in-the-same.
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    a13049 said:
    I completed and graduated with my masters degree in February and got all of the benefits of that graduation in feb. I was still allowed to participate in my commencement ceremony. It still Meant a lot to my family and I as I was the first to graduate from college, let alone a graduate degree.
    That's my point, though. It would have meant a lot to my family, but I couldn't go. I was too sick.

    But, I didn't stage a fake graduation and wear a cap and gown. I was honest and told them I was too sick to go.

    I used it as an analogy for all of these fake weddings that are held because they feel they "deserve" it, or it rained on their wedding day so they're having a redo, or they hated their dress, or they had to rush to get married because someone got sick but they've always wanted a big fancy reception, etc.

    jdluvr06doeydo
  • a13049a13049 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    whitjoy said:


    a13049 said:

    I missed my graduation ceremony because I had the flu, but I still graduated on paper. I even got a degree to hang on my wall.


    Since I wasn't able to walk in the ceremony, I didn't put on a cap and gown and have a "redo". I didn't invite people to witness my fake commencement. You know why? Because even though I didn't wear the fancy outfit or parade in front of my relatives, I still graduated.

    When you sign that marriage license and make it legal, you are married. It doesn't matter if you don't consider that "real". If it weren't real, you wouldn't do it, because then you wouldn't get those benefits you're in such a rush to get. You're lying to yourself and your nearest and dearest. It's selfish and smacks of entitlement. 

    If you need those benefits immediately, fine, get married and have the wedding you can afford. Can't have the wedding you want because you didn't have time to save up? Too bad. Life sucks, princess. Get a fucking helmet.
    I completed and graduated with my masters degree in February and got all of the benefits of that graduation in feb. I was still allowed to participate in my commencement ceremony. It still
    Meant a lot to my family and I as I was the first to graduate from college, let alone a graduate degree.




    no...you may have been done with your coursework and requirements, but you don't have a diploma, you did not have the degree until graduation.



    ...also "I have been to "Ppds" but I haven't been lied to about it. If I was lied to about it I would be mad about the lie not about the ppd"



    lie=ppd, they are one-in-the-same.

    ---------------------------------


    Edited because tk won't quote correctly



    Wrong! I graduated in feb. I was given a diploma and final transcripts were sent to the state to allow me to have my principal license. I was allowed to act as principal for an admin maternity leave. At commencement they didn't hand out diplomas they handed out covers that had the school seal on the front. For those who were graduating that may they had their diplomas mailed weeks later. With my undergrad, we had students I. Our graduating class who finished in December but because it's a small college they only do one commencement ceremony, those people participated I may with the rest of us and they let people who we one summer class short so they didn't have to wait until the following may because of one class. Either way graduation and weddings are different and it's comparing apples to oranges.

    PPD can include lying, and lying is wrong I. All sorts of levels outside of ettiquette but not every person who has a ppd is lying or misleading their friend and family.
    HeatherMD02perdonami
  • CMGragain said:

    PPDs are incredibly self centered.  ME!  ME!  ME!  I WANT MY DAY!  I WANT EVERYBODY TO LOOK AT ME IN MY PRINCESS DRESS AND ENVY ME!  I DESERVE TO HAVE IT!

    What other reason can you have for spending thousands of dollars on a fake ceremony (Very offensive to religious people.) and being the center of attention?


    I'm religious... It's not offensive to me. Someone can get legally married and still feel strongly about their vows and their religion at their "PPD".
    KeepMovingOn
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