Children in support of PPDs

Simply Fated · April 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

Simply Fated said:

Simply Fated said:

Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!
No. It's important to teach children how to save their money and budget it for something they really want. It shouldn't be that hard to not raise entitled spoiled brats.

I understand you don't like gossiping, but please explain to me, in detail, how your plan will avoid people gossiping about you.

Well, for starters, there's nothing to gossip about. Here's how it will go: Intended guests will receive their invitation in the mail. Intended guests will discuss the pros and cons of going on vacation to Mexico with their prospective travel partner. Intended guests will decline if he/she/they cannot afford to go, don't want to, whatever. No gossip so far.

If intended guests do decide to go, he/she/they make travel plans, go on a rad vacation, attend a ceremony that lasts less than twenty minutes then are subsequently hosted at a wonderful reception, their vacation then resumes shortly thereafter. Also, nothing to gossip about.

If at any time someone finds something to gossip about, let them. Living life afraid of the opinions and words of others is not a way I choose to live.

If that last sentence was true, then you'd tell people the truth so they can decide whether or not to attend your wedding reenactment in Mexico.

That's great you have this theory you seem to have, but somewhere above I reiterated the simple fact, this is about information control, not other people's opinions. It's super easy to comprehend. Some may not agree, and others would choose to do things differently, but I don't see how controlling information is a hard concept to follow.

I'll make a comparison or two: If a woman finds out she's pregnant and then wants to wait to roll out the news in a certain way, or wants to wait until she's a certain amount of time along before announcing she has information she's controlling for some specific reason. Can people actually be butthurt that she had the audacity to walk around pregnant without informing them since the moment she peed on the stick? No, of course not.

Here's another - My Mom was being tested for Multiple Myeloma back in March. She didn't want to tell me until she had a confirmed diagnosis. But she did tell her sister. Her sister told her son, my cousin, not thinking in a million years he'd reach out to me. In an epic bean-spilling text message he did reach out to me and therefore my poor Mom's attempt at controlling information failed. Was I mad at her? No. Did I and do I still believe she had every right to control her personal information and the dissemination of it as she saw fit? Of course I do. Was there an omission? Obviously. Am I butthurt? Not at all.

Viewing things the way we do wouldn't be possible for some people. That's ok. But I think it's a really easy concept to wrap one's head around, regardless of being favor of it or not.

Nono. A more accurate comparison would be that the woman has the baby, keeps the baby a secret, then pretends she's still pregnant at her baby shower.

Another more accurate comprison would be if the diagnosis was confirmed and she still kept the information to herself. And, even then, it's not the same thing. Her health is her business. Your marriage status is other people's business since you're inviting them to what they THINK is the day you're getting married.

You think you're withholding information from them, but you're also lying. It's a double whammy. This is not a good lesson to teach kids.

ccvasquez · April 2014

I'm sorry. What is a PPD?

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

ccvasquez said:

I'm sorry. What is a PPD?

Pretty Princess Day. usually referring to when someone get legally married and decides to throw a fake wedding later and pretends it is a real wedding.

mrs4everhart · April 2014

APDSS22 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

jdluvr06 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Simply Fated said:

Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!
No. It's important to teach children how to save their money and budget it for something they really want. It shouldn't be that hard to not raise entitled spoiled brats. I understand you don't like gossiping, but please explain to me, in detail, how your plan will avoid people gossiping about you.

Well, for starters, there's nothing to gossip about. Here's how it will go: Intended guests will receive their invitation in the mail. Intended guests will discuss the pros and cons of going on vacation to Mexico with their prospective travel partner. Intended guests will decline if he/she/they cannot afford to go, don't want to, whatever. No gossip so far.

If intended guests do decide to go, he/she/they make travel plans, go on a rad vacation, attend a ceremony that lasts less than twenty minutes then are subsequently hosted at a wonderful reception, their vacation then resumes shortly thereafter. Also, nothing to gossip about.

If at any time someone finds something to gossip about, let them. Living life afraid of the opinions and words of others is not a way I choose to live.

This is a bit off topic but another thing that pisses me off is when people assume their DW is going to be an awesome vacation for their guests. I hate DWs simply because I hate having to use vacation days from work to go to a place that someone else has selected.

Why would you "have" to? Do you view an invitation as a summons? If anyone invited doesn't want to go for whatever reason, that's what the decline line on the RSVP card is for. I can't imagine begrudgingly going anywhere for a wedding. But, in our case anyway, if we were to stay home for our wedding, it would be a destination for most of our VIP's anyway. We live in CO. Much of our families live on the east coast. And the feedback we've received about the destination has been positive or more than positive, bordering on downright giddy. So I think this a "know your crowd" type thing more than making false assumptions about what people consider fun.

But they're not attending a wedding. They're attending a play you're putting on where you and your husband "get married." I don't care if you're calling it "information control" you're lying to people about what they're shelling out money to attend. If you think any of them wouldn't want to attend if they knew it wasn't the ceremony by which you got married, then you're manipulating your "loved ones".

I would never want to treat people I care about in such a way, but if you don't care enough about them to be honest with them, then you can deal with the consequences when they find out. On the rare chance this happens, dealing with it is the plan! Which will happen eventually because you've told someone and you can't guarantee that they'll never get drunk and mention that you were already married or go without sleeping for a long enough period that they start spilling all their secrets to random strangers.

And if any of your guests you're not telling are from the states, you're putting a lot bigger burden on them to get them to Mexico vs. CO (passport, customs, language barrier, etc.) So the fact that they'd be traveling from either of the coasts to CO would be much easier in many ways than getting from their house to Mexico to see your "special day". Even if they live in Alaska, it's easier to get to CO than Mexico. Yes, all guests as it happens are US citizens. All with passports. No one is concerned about the language barrier. If the travel puts anyone off, it's ok they decline. We're not expecting a 100% attendance rate.

mrs4everhart · April 2014

Simply Fated said:

Simply Fated said:

Simply Fated said:

Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!
No. It's important to teach children how to save their money and budget it for something they really want. It shouldn't be that hard to not raise entitled spoiled brats. I understand you don't like gossiping, but please explain to me, in detail, how your plan will avoid people gossiping about you.

Well, for starters, there's nothing to gossip about. Here's how it will go: Intended guests will receive their invitation in the mail. Intended guests will discuss the pros and cons of going on vacation to Mexico with their prospective travel partner. Intended guests will decline if he/she/they cannot afford to go, don't want to, whatever. No gossip so far.

If intended guests do decide to go, he/she/they make travel plans, go on a rad vacation, attend a ceremony that lasts less than twenty minutes then are subsequently hosted at a wonderful reception, their vacation then resumes shortly thereafter. Also, nothing to gossip about.

If at any time someone finds something to gossip about, let them. Living life afraid of the opinions and words of others is not a way I choose to live.
If that last sentence was true, then you'd tell people the truth so they can decide whether or not to attend your wedding reenactment in Mexico.

That's great you have this theory you seem to have, but somewhere above I reiterated the simple fact, this is about information control, not other people's opinions. It's super easy to comprehend. Some may not agree, and others would choose to do things differently, but I don't see how controlling information is a hard concept to follow.

I'll make a comparison or two: If a woman finds out she's pregnant and then wants to wait to roll out the news in a certain way, or wants to wait until she's a certain amount of time along before announcing she has information she's controlling for some specific reason. Can people actually be butthurt that she had the audacity to walk around pregnant without informing them since the moment she peed on the stick? No, of course not.

Here's another - My Mom was being tested for Multiple Myeloma back in March. She didn't want to tell me until she had a confirmed diagnosis. But she did tell her sister. Her sister told her son, my cousin, not thinking in a million years he'd reach out to me. In an epic bean-spilling text message he did reach out to me and therefore my poor Mom's attempt at controlling information failed. Was I mad at her? No. Did I and do I still believe she had every right to control her personal information and the dissemination of it as she saw fit? Of course I do. Was there an omission? Obviously. Am I butthurt? Not at all.

Viewing things the way we do wouldn't be possible for some people. That's ok. But I think it's a really easy concept to wrap one's head around, regardless of being favor of it or not.

Nono. A more accurate comparison would be that the woman has the baby, keeps the baby a secret, then pretends she's still pregnant at her baby shower. Another more accurate comprison would be if the diagnosis was confirmed and she still kept the information to herself. And, even then, it's not the same thing. Her health is her business. Your marriage status is other people's business since you're inviting them to what they THINK is the day you're getting married. You think you're withholding information from them, but you're also lying. It's a double whammy. This is not a good lesson to teach kids. Phew, good thing I'm not having any!

Angusaur · April 2014

STBMrsEverhart your "information control" excuse has to be one of the most childish and selfish things I've ever heard of. Hiding your pregnancy until you're in the "safe zone" is nowhere near the same thing. You aren't asking people to come celebrate at a baby shower when you aren't pregnant, are you? That is the same thing as a PPD. It becomes everybody's business when you are inviting them to your sham. They think they are seeing a real union, what they are getting is 2 adults who are already married, playing dress up and having a play wedding. This is a LIE. No matter what cute name you want to give it, or how you want to spin it, this makes you a liar. I have little respect for people who lie to friends and family they claim to care about.

If you weren't worried about what other people think, why not say come celebrate with us on our recent marriage? My guess is because you want all the attention on you and you know people won't be as excited for a do-over, that's why. And that's why brides today are entitled. You get one WEDDING, period.

Simply Fated · April 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

Simply Fated said:

Simply Fated said:

Simply Fated said:

Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!
No. It's important to teach children how to save their money and budget it for something they really want. It shouldn't be that hard to not raise entitled spoiled brats. I understand you don't like gossiping, but please explain to me, in detail, how your plan will avoid people gossiping about you.

Well, for starters, there's nothing to gossip about. Here's how it will go: Intended guests will receive their invitation in the mail. Intended guests will discuss the pros and cons of going on vacation to Mexico with their prospective travel partner. Intended guests will decline if he/she/they cannot afford to go, don't want to, whatever. No gossip so far.

If intended guests do decide to go, he/she/they make travel plans, go on a rad vacation, attend a ceremony that lasts less than twenty minutes then are subsequently hosted at a wonderful reception, their vacation then resumes shortly thereafter. Also, nothing to gossip about.

If at any time someone finds something to gossip about, let them. Living life afraid of the opinions and words of others is not a way I choose to live.
If that last sentence was true, then you'd tell people the truth so they can decide whether or not to attend your wedding reenactment in Mexico.

That's great you have this theory you seem to have, but somewhere above I reiterated the simple fact, this is about information control, not other people's opinions. It's super easy to comprehend. Some may not agree, and others would choose to do things differently, but I don't see how controlling information is a hard concept to follow.

I'll make a comparison or two: If a woman finds out she's pregnant and then wants to wait to roll out the news in a certain way, or wants to wait until she's a certain amount of time along before announcing she has information she's controlling for some specific reason. Can people actually be butthurt that she had the audacity to walk around pregnant without informing them since the moment she peed on the stick? No, of course not.

Here's another - My Mom was being tested for Multiple Myeloma back in March. She didn't want to tell me until she had a confirmed diagnosis. But she did tell her sister. Her sister told her son, my cousin, not thinking in a million years he'd reach out to me. In an epic bean-spilling text message he did reach out to me and therefore my poor Mom's attempt at controlling information failed. Was I mad at her? No. Did I and do I still believe she had every right to control her personal information and the dissemination of it as she saw fit? Of course I do. Was there an omission? Obviously. Am I butthurt? Not at all.

Viewing things the way we do wouldn't be possible for some people. That's ok. But I think it's a really easy concept to wrap one's head around, regardless of being favor of it or not.

Nono. A more accurate comparison would be that the woman has the baby, keeps the baby a secret, then pretends she's still pregnant at her baby shower. Another more accurate comprison would be if the diagnosis was confirmed and she still kept the information to herself. And, even then, it's not the same thing. Her health is her business. Your marriage status is other people's business since you're inviting them to what they THINK is the day you're getting married. You think you're withholding information from them, but you're also lying. It's a double whammy. This is not a good lesson to teach kids. Phew, good thing I'm not having any!

You don't have to have your own kids to be an influence on children.

But at least you agree that you are lying to friends and family for very selfish reasons and that it's a terrible thing to teach children to do.

MobKaz · April 2014

We have played this game before. We know what happens when we feed the beast. There will never be an end to the madness when it involves a narcissistic, egocentric liar. Too many other threads have been derailed with her arrogance. I'm going to return to my lenten days and give this up again.

arrippa · April 2014

Here we go again! Around and around with the same arguments.

Children in support of PPDs

Re: Children in support of PPDs

Choose Another Board

Search Boards