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Snarky Brides

Cash Bar?

245

Re: Cash Bar?

  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    valharte said:
    Inkdancer said:
    valharte said:
    MagicInk said:


    Or we'd "pre-game", showing up already drunk. And then you'd sober up as you partied, realize the party actually sucked and leave.
    Haha...I remember those days.  Wonder how many people have "pre-gamed" for dry weddings? Sorry... couldn't resist.  Before I get blasted.... I am not actually suggesting anyone do that, and I would be extremely upset if someone showed up drunk to my wedding.  It was just a funny thought that came across as I read this. Again.. that would be extremely disrespectful and the thought just made me giggle so I thought I'd share. 

    Some of my friends have already told me they're planning on pre-gaming for my wedding. I was a little disappointed in them for it (really? the only way you can enjoy my wedding is to be drunk for it?) but I'm not changing my plans.
    That is rude.  Like I said, I just shared because the thought was so ridiculous it made me giggle. I would definitely be upset if someone showed up drunk.  During my time as a photographer though I have seen some Brides and BM have a little too much in the bridal suite beforehand.  All I could think was, "don't you want to remember this with every detail"?  But a guest?  And to be practical...even if it wasn't rude and disrespectful... any buzz you are going to get is going to be gone by the time the ceremony and dinner (or whatever food) is over... 
    We sort of pre-gamed for my friend's dry wedding. The bride had wanted us all to do a shot of her favorite shot before we walked down the aisle. We all like it and it can be made very weak. So I made it up and put it in my flask and brought it, we all had two very weak shots and then MOB had gotten us a bottle of champagne to sip on while we were getting ready (she bought one for the boys too) so we each had two mimosas. Again, I played bartender made them intentionally weak. Bride said she had the slightest of buzzes but mostly it was just taking the edge off and was pretty well sober by the time she got up to the alter.

    The wedding was dry because the reception venue didn't allow for alcohol due to insurance reasons. Not sure of all the details, that's what the bride told me. But MOB did clear it for us to have some in the getting ready areas. Not really clear on how that all worked out.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    LDay2014 said:
    My mom used to have a fridge magnet...I never really understood why it was funny until I was in my late 20's.

    Dear Children
    Move out, get a job, pay your own bills.
    While you still know everything...
    LOL!  My parents had to move to Florida just to get me out of the house.  I was too smart to think living on my own and paying for things myself was fun and easy.

    Inkdancerbuddysmom80
  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 Dubai, my royal playground. member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    larrygaga said:
    I don't care. It will have an effect on how much money I can budget for a gift, though. 

    Dry weddings bother me more than cash bars. 
    why do dry weddings bother you?

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

    doeydo
  •        Cash bars do not bother me. I didn't even realize they were rude until a few years ago as it was a rarity to NOT have a cash bar at a wedding in my area. If I were throwing an event and only my family were coming, I might consider one (and not post about it here, LOL). HOWEVER, our wedding is not just about my side of the family, there are friends and my fiance's side too. I KNOW for certain that my family down to first cousins would not be offended. I have no idea what each friend and member of his side feels about then so I would err on the side of caution and host whatever beverages I could afford. 

          For the record we are having a lunch wedding and are hosting beer, wine and soft drinks. For all that people say that Disney is expensive, their alcohol packages are way cheaper than any of the venue's I looked at here at home. 

          I don't drink much, and I'm fine with a dry wedding. It really seems to me though that even though a lot of people SAY it's okay, they really don't mean it. Look at all the post in this thread that say they would rather have a cash bar than a dry wedding, or say they will leave early if alcohol isn't provided. Even though I wouldn't have a cash bar myself, I get why people are tempted. There is an undertone of your wedding not being as good if you don't provide alcohol. 

          Just a question out of curiosity. I've seen people say if there's a cash bar and they hear about it they will reduce the size of their gift. How about a properly hosted dry wedding. Do you also spend less if you know a head of time that alcohol won't be provided? Just curious. I'm not expecting any gifts for my wedding as it's small and destination.
  • Cash bars don't bother me. I'm going to have to jump on the I would rather pay for my drinks then have go to a dry wedding. If you want a dry wedding then that is your choice and I don't have a problem with it. However, I tend to leave earlier at dry weddings. I can't speak for anyone else but I need wine to force myself to have that much small talk.
  • Since certain required guests will have a hissy fit no matter what alcohol is served, but will mostly behave if not provided alcohol - dry wedding.

    Granted, the fits are going to happen because I'm a blankity blank stuck up blanking blank and refusing to invite family who hate DF and me. And my dress is slutty because it's soooooooooooooo short at tea length. And ugh, Friday wedding and she has plans at 11pm - wedding is at 6:30pm, straight to dinner, we'll be done by 9pm. And she needs a plus one, even though she's single and bed hops weekly.
  • Since certain required guests will have a hissy fit no matter what alcohol is served, but will mostly behave if not provided alcohol - dry wedding. Granted, the fits are going to happen because I'm a blankity blank stuck up blanking blank and refusing to invite family who hate DF and me. And my dress is slutty because it's soooooooooooooo short at tea length. And ugh, Friday wedding and she has plans at 11pm - wedding is at 6:30pm, straight to dinner, we'll be done by 9pm. And she needs a plus one, even though she's single and bed hops weekly.
     
    SITB:
     
    What kind of rant is this?
     
    To the bolded: it doesn't matter if "she" bed-hops, she still gets a plus one.

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  • wiggsaj said:
    I know that most knotties don't like cash bars. I'm not having one personally, but I just wanted to know your opinion on them? I always see little side comments about how they should not exist but I've never seen a full-on explination. 

    Also, how do you feel about dry weddings? I haven't seen anything about that!

    Thanks for your input lovelies!
    Cash Bar = RUDE.


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    doeydo
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I've never been to an evening wedding that was dry. I think I might raise an eyebrow at that, more so then if it was during the day. It's still not rude, it'd just throw me a little more then if it were a dry day time wedding.

    Of course it'd depend on the couple as well. I have friends who don't drink, so I expect their upcoming wedding to be dry regardless of the time of day. But like FI and myself, we drink. We're having an evening wedding. I think people would be surprised if we had a dry wedding. 
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  • MagicInk said:
    I've never been to an evening wedding that was dry. I think I might raise an eyebrow at that, more so then if it was during the day. It's still not rude, it'd just throw me a little more then if it were a dry day time wedding.

    Of course it'd depend on the couple as well. I have friends who don't drink, so I expect their upcoming wedding to be dry regardless of the time of day. But like FI and myself, we drink. We're having an evening wedding. I think people would be surprised if we had a dry wedding. 
    This is a good point. One of the dry weddings I attended (for which I was MOH, and the B/G don't drink for religious reasons) was at 11 a.m., with a noon reception in the church hall immediately following the ceremony.

    I didn't even think about the fact it was dry until this thread jogged my memory, because it just seemed so obvious to me that, duh, a morning wedding with a reception in the church hall wouldn't have alcohol.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • It's interesting to see all these outside opinions. My wedding starts at 1:00 and ends at 4:30, so it's going to be a dry wedding. But we are having a family dinner with just the immediate family and BP after the wedding, and we'll probably be drinking during that. I think it would be weird for someone to have a dry wedding in the evening too, but I also think it depends on the couple. 

    Plus, I mean, if you can't have any fun without alcohol, you have your own kind of issues lol.
    pinkshorts27
  • That rant was my temper at red. But my train wreck of a sister isn't getting a plus one. I'm not inviting coworkers I like, why would I invite my sister's last night hook up to my wedding. If that's my biggest offense, I don't care.
  • My sister had an afternoon wedding with dinner and a dance.  It was dry.  My mom's side of the family didn't think it was strange sine all their weddings are dry.  My dad's brother was pissed because he wanted to get drunk on someone else's dime.

    Or wedding will not be dry.  We're having water, beer, sangria, and whiskey, vodka, or rum to mix with lemonade.  And I have taken a ton of heat here for not serving soda.  

    I get that you wouldn't charge your guests for a drink in your house so a cash bar is wrong.  (Never crossed my mind to do one anyway.)  But I also expect that guests would not come to my house and dictate what I should serve.  Both are rude and offensive.
    wajohnson09grumbledore
  • @buddysmom80 if the sister is single then no, she isn't required to give her a plus one.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

    doeydo
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2014
    I didn't post on TK until I was planning my own wedding but I hated cash bars long before that time.

    I never understood the notion that you'd plan something extra fancy and then ask your guests to pay for part of it. It's one of the top ways to hit my angry button.
  • serena569 said:
    My sister had an afternoon wedding with dinner and a dance.  It was dry.  My mom's side of the family didn't think it was strange sine all their weddings are dry.  My dad's brother was pissed because he wanted to get drunk on someone else's dime.

    Or wedding will not be dry.  We're having water, beer, sangria, and whiskey, vodka, or rum to mix with lemonade.  And I have taken a ton of heat here for not serving soda.  

    I get that you wouldn't charge your guests for a drink in your house so a cash bar is wrong.  (Never crossed my mind to do one anyway.)  But I also expect that guests would not come to my house and dictate what I should serve.  Both are rude and offensive.
    Your guests will drink alcohol or water, period?  I can see why you are getting a ton of heat on that one.  Can I ask why you will spend the money on the alcohol but not on soda?  If you don't drink/don't feel like drinking/are the DD you are stuck with water?
    pinkshorts27grumbledoreashley8918newvalley
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2014
    serena569 said:
    My sister had an afternoon wedding with dinner and a dance.  It was dry.  My mom's side of the family didn't think it was strange sine all their weddings are dry.  My dad's brother was pissed because he wanted to get drunk on someone else's dime.

    Or wedding will not be dry.  We're having water, beer, sangria, and whiskey, vodka, or rum to mix with lemonade.  And I have taken a ton of heat here for not serving soda.  

    I get that you wouldn't charge your guests for a drink in your house so a cash bar is wrong.  (Never crossed my mind to do one anyway.)  But I also expect that guests would not come to my house and dictate what I should serve.  Both are rude and offensive.

    That really bothers me. You are providing more alcohol choices than non alcohol choices? So I have to just drink water or get drunk? Those are my beverage choices? Is the lemonade at least available?

    ETA: I searched your post history and see that you ARE serving iced tea and lemonade, so that makes me less annoyed by this. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • serena569 said:

    My sister had an afternoon wedding with dinner and a dance.  It was dry.  My mom's side of the family didn't think it was strange sine all their weddings are dry.  My dad's brother was pissed because he wanted to get drunk on someone else's dime.


    Or wedding will not be dry.  We're having water, beer, sangria, and whiskey, vodka, or rum to mix with lemonade.  And I have taken a ton of heat here for not serving soda.  

    I get that you wouldn't charge your guests for a drink in your house so a cash bar is wrong.  (Never crossed my mind to do one anyway.)  But I also expect that guests would not come to my house and dictate what I should serve.  Both are rude and offensive.
    I'm 5 mos pregnant. Are you seriously saying that my options at your wedding are water or lemonade?
    pinkshorts27snippet17grumbledorePrettyGirlLost
  • serena569 said:
    My sister had an afternoon wedding with dinner and a dance.  It was dry.  My mom's side of the family didn't think it was strange sine all their weddings are dry.  My dad's brother was pissed because he wanted to get drunk on someone else's dime.

    Or wedding will not be dry.  We're having water, beer, sangria, and whiskey, vodka, or rum to mix with lemonade.  And I have taken a ton of heat here for not serving soda.  

    I get that you wouldn't charge your guests for a drink in your house so a cash bar is wrong.  (Never crossed my mind to do one anyway.)  But I also expect that guests would not come to my house and dictate what I should serve.  Both are rude and offensive.
    Is it normal for most people to only serve tea, water and lemonade as the non-alcoholic beverages?

    Maybe some other Knotties can clarify?
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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2014
    serena569 said:
    My sister had an afternoon wedding with dinner and a dance.  It was dry.  My mom's side of the family didn't think it was strange sine all their weddings are dry.  My dad's brother was pissed because he wanted to get drunk on someone else's dime.

    Or wedding will not be dry.  We're having water, beer, sangria, and whiskey, vodka, or rum to mix with lemonade.  And I have taken a ton of heat here for not serving soda.  

    I get that you wouldn't charge your guests for a drink in your house so a cash bar is wrong.  (Never crossed my mind to do one anyway.)  But I also expect that guests would not come to my house and dictate what I should serve.  Both are rude and offensive.

    Maybe some other Knotties can clarify?

    Every wedding I've been to had options for soda, water, tea, lemonade, and coffee as non-alcohol options. And I've never been to a dry wedding. Is it normal for most people to only serve tea, water and lemonade as the non-alcoholic beverages? ETA: formatting.

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  • sassyfrass2014sassyfrass2014 ATLien member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    serena569 said:
    My sister had an afternoon wedding with dinner and a dance.  It was dry.  My mom's side of the family didn't think it was strange sine all their weddings are dry.  My dad's brother was pissed because he wanted to get drunk on someone else's dime.

    Or wedding will not be dry.  We're having water, beer, sangria, and whiskey, vodka, or rum to mix with lemonade.  And I have taken a ton of heat here for not serving soda.  

    I get that you wouldn't charge your guests for a drink in your house so a cash bar is wrong.  (Never crossed my mind to do one anyway.)  But I also expect that guests would not come to my house and dictate what I should serve.  Both are rude and offensive.

    Maybe some other Knotties can clarify?

    Every wedding I've been to had options for soda, water, tea, lemonade, and coffee as non-alcohol options. And I've never been to a dry wedding. Is it normal for most people to only serve tea, water and lemonade as the non-alcoholic beverages? ETA: formatting.
    That seems like plenty of options to me... I guess maybe a couple of sodas?

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  • Just thought I'd ask because I've never been to a wedding that didn't offer soda.
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We didn't have soda at our wedding reception.  We had beer, white wine, red wine, iced tea, lemonade and water.  Our reception also was an afternoon reception.  Definitely thought that was sufficient.

  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    APDSS22 said:
    We didn't have soda at our wedding reception.  We had beer, white wine, red wine, iced tea, lemonade and water.  Our reception also was an afternoon reception.  Definitely thought that was sufficient.
    might have been, but I would have been grumpy if I was dd because I don't drink iced tea (ew) or lemonade (ew). But It probably was. Just like you don't have to host alcohol, you don't have to host soda. 

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  • banana468 said:
    My sister had an afternoon wedding with dinner and a dance.  It was dry.  My mom's side of the family didn't think it was strange sine all their weddings are dry.  My dad's brother was pissed because he wanted to get drunk on someone else's dime.

    Or wedding will not be dry.  We're having water, beer, sangria, and whiskey, vodka, or rum to mix with lemonade.  And I have taken a ton of heat here for not serving soda.  

    I get that you wouldn't charge your guests for a drink in your house so a cash bar is wrong.  (Never crossed my mind to do one anyway.)  But I also expect that guests would not come to my house and dictate what I should serve.  Both are rude and offensive.
    I'm 5 mos pregnant. Are you seriously saying that my options at your wedding are water or lemonade?

    What's wrong with water? Shouldn't guests accept graciously whatever is being offered by the host? Would you complain if you came to your friend's house for dinner and all they offered to drink was wine and water? Would they not be properly hosting their guests by providing them beverages? Water is a beverage, isn't it?
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  • We had coffee, water, iced tea and lemonade. We also had bought Martinelli's Sparkling Cider and Blood Orange, but were really sad to find out that the bartender never told anyone that those were an option. =(

    So if you do hire a bartender, make sure you double check that!

  • I don't think that people should be going to a wedding to get sh!tfaced. Sometimes there are packages for open bars, but they are only 2 hours long, or they only serve wine and beer. These can be easier on the wallet.

    Seeing as how most places (I live in Las Vegas) don't allow shots at their bar, beer and wine are an okay offering right?
    theyllcallmemrs
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