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What is your budget?

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Re: What is your budget?

  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
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    alm&mdm said:
    I'm really careful about not discussing costs. I don't think it's anyone's business but my fiance's and mine. We are paying for almost the entire wedding so it's really not needed to discuss. My mom knows how much my dress is because she really wanted to help pay for it and my mother in law to be knows how much our welcome bags will be because she wants to purchase them for us. But that's the exceptions.

    I just have had a couple girlfriends grill me about plans. We have another set of friends marrying like 2 weeks after us so everyone is getting curious. The last big comment was that I shouldn't have a dessert table and do favors bags because "it's too much" and "I'm trying too hard" Those comments are tough because there's a reason why we are having a sweets table and I don't want to throw a dinky favor at people. Its not out of trying too hard. I just want to be an awesome host. I grew up in Chicago but my home life was very a traditional Southern belle upbringing so proper hosting is in my blood. 
    It's not "too much" if it's what you want and you can afford it!  Obviously providing a lot to your guests is important to you and makes you feel good.  :)  They probably just don't want to feel like your wedding will outshine theirs.

    Out of curiosity, what are you putting in your favor bags?  I keep changing my mind about my favors.
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  • bead662bead662 member
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    I'm at that point too! If you don't like it, then don't come. 
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  • sydneyvioletsydneyviolet member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited March 2014
    @aim&mdm My wedding is very similar to yours. We are paying for almost the entire wedding too - and my mother contributed to my dress (so is aware of that specific cost). 

    Luckily my friends aren't the type to be interested in cost, and I'm the first of us to come close to being married. So there are no competing dates, or even much interest in the whole affair, to be honest.

    Such a strange comment to suggest you "are trying too hard". It's your wedding, of course you want it to be lovely!!!

    I am to be married in a famous olive oil region in Italy so I'm having beautiful little handmade glass bottles with the date of the event on them, made for each guest. I guess that's trying too hard too!




    image


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  • alm&mdmalm&mdm member
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    @sydneyviolet Your wedding sounds lovely! My fiancé still has quite a bit of family in Italy so we travel there a lot. It's definitely gorgeous!
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  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    edited March 2014
    alm&mdm said:
    @CrazyCatLady3 We are doing favor bags with goodies made in Chicago. It'll be a bag of Garrett's popcorn, bottle of Goose Island Root Beer, box of 2 mini donuts from Glazed and Infused and then different small boxes of candy. Lemonheads, Junior Mints, Dots, Tootsie Rolls, and Mars bars (milky way, snickers, 3 musketeers, etc)

    We have a small Chicago theme to the wedding. Chicago has been so meaningful for us as a couple and as people. Our wedding invites are based on vintage Chicago tourist posters and all our tables are going to named for famous landmarks so we thought the favors were a fun and tasty way to round the "theme" out. Plus who doesn't love going home with a bag of treats?
    Sounds yummy.  :)
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  • sydneyvioletsydneyviolet member
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    edited March 2014
    @aim&mdm Thanks! As does yours. Ohh, you're super lucky..... My man has lots of family in the wrong area of europe (eastern europe). Jelly of all your Italian trips!

    image


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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
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    @alm&mdm have you looked at Alexander and Co? We used their poster as our guest book. It worked great with the Chicago theme.
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  • alm&mdmalm&mdm member
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    @KatWag I just saw those in a magazine/catalog a couple weeks ago and was considering it. We had wanted to have a sketch of Union but it's really tough to find a pretty angle of the outside.
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  • AllOnOneDayAllOnOneDay member
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    32, will be 34 by wedding, DF is 10 years to the date older. First wedding for both. He's first of siblings to get married, I'm first daughter in my family, we both have insanely large extended families.

    As attending will wind up around 350-400 people, budget is insane. But, we can afford it.

    On our own - no, but then the guest list would be radically different and much smaller. It would be equally nice, but 50 is different than 400.

    For those involved with paying - DF and I have the only mortgages, could pay off early but the penalty isn't worth it. No car loans, no student loans, no credit card debt. So if the others want to pay enough for a nice house, they can.

    A large part was reception / after party / next day / hotel room blocks / shuttle service / other plans, which got booked all but immediately just for numbers. Plus, it looks outrageous on paper. But that's everything with reception and after events other than music. Could we find cheaper options? Probably. But just the sheer numbers is eliminating 70% of options. So, go with service we know, let them deal with the hassle and headaches, and done. I've worked with them for larger events, been to receptions there, set up press events there - another hotel is cheaper, but not nearly as well organized for even 100 people.

    But, I'm using luxury in the idea that our guests will have no problems with this week of events and they can enjoy this time.
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  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    On the topic of yummy favors, which would you prefer as a guest?

    These brownie pops (they come wrapped individually so I'd just add a bow and be done with it):

    Or a 2-box of classic godiva truffles:

    The godiva is less original but the packaging is elegant and they are most shelf-stable.  The brownie pops are a little cuter and less likely to have been done before.  Thoughts?
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
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    Brownie pops. No question.
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
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    KatWAG said:

    Brownie pops. No question.

    YUP!

     







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  • cmclairecmclaire member
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    Loving those brownie pops, yum!

    Our budget will wind up being around the $40k-$45k mark, with between 120 and 180 guests.  We aren't sharing our budget with anyone else IRL because there would probably be snark from a few parties.  We chose a bigger budget simply to cover the things we value - lovely venue, great food, free bar, lots of guests.  I am so excited to celebrate with the people we adore!

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  • itslizzzzitslizzzz member
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    Around $10,000 including the honeymoon to Ireland! We paid for everything except for the food and DJ. I could never make my parents pay for the entire wedding, they'd go into debt. Crazy.
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  • AmJam04AmJam04 member
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    We initially budgeted about 45k (Napa Valley wedding), but it blew up to about 58k not including RD/HM/morning after brunch for 55 guests including DH and I. It was unbelievable how expensive everything with the word "wedding" attached to it was -- we went so far over budget and we even made countless sacrifices!  But, we had a gorgeous wedding that was worth every penny.
    Just the venue + catering (not including wine/booze) was about $25k, and that turned out to be the best deal ever for what we got! 


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  • dwhereicomedwhereicome member
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    @ Newborndoc2008 Where is your dw wedding? Would be great to get advice
    Other brides- so good to get an idea of what your spending- do you think you could also mention the general region? I.e. 60K means something different in Miami then Nebraska.
    I know many of you did- esp. the Chicago brides but many did not. 
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  • alm&mdmalm&mdm member
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    @Molly12345 great suggestion to share geographic regions! It does vary so much by location.

    I would also suggest sharing your guest list size. Obviously some smaller amounts might look a lot more luxury if you realize it's a small guest list. My budget seems outlandish till you know I'm making plans for 400. 
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
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    hmellema23 said:
    Hi Bride to be's:

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  • dwhereicomedwhereicome member
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    alm&mdm - its so hard to sort through it all and get reasonable comps as many people don't put the region. I'm in NYC but will have a destination wedding in St Lucia or Antigua or Barbados. 
    I have a feeling I'm saving a wedding in NYC is about 60K minimum do to what I'd like and for that I get about 3 days in the Caribbean but I'd love to know what if that's correct.
    I'm estimating about 100 people. 

    Are you having your wedding in Chicago?

    About your comment below
    "I just have had a couple girlfriends grill me about plans. We have another set of friends marrying like 2 weeks after us so everyone is getting curious. The last big comment was that I shouldn't have a dessert table and do favors bags because "it's too much" and "I'm trying too hard" Those comments are tough because there's a reason why we are having a sweets table and I don't want to throw a dinky favor at people."

    I read somewhere in an article that the proper southern response to people mentioning these "ideas" about your wedding is to smile sweetly and say something along the lines of "well aren't you kind? We'll certainly think of that" or "thank you for your great idea. We'll bear it in mind" and Move in! Hard to implement but no reason to justify yourself and wanting to be a good host. You are doing the right thing and should not feel defensive in anyway. Your money, your event. 
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  • dwhereicomedwhereicome member
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    alm&mdmAHA! I found it:
    CNN: When it comes to weddings, it seems like everyone has an opinion, from mothers to mothers-in-law to friends and sisters. Unfortunately, those "brilliant" ideas often do not fit in with the type of celebration that the bride and groom envision. How do you suggest that couples politely decline well-meaning suggestions?

    Southern Weddings: Smile sweetly, and thank them graciously. Perhaps try this line: "Well, bless your heart -- thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. We'll definitely take that into consideration."

    I love that answer- its perfect! Non offensive and so southern. Since you mentioned your southern hospitality that works perfectly! That should quiet those girls down.
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  • alm&mdmalm&mdm member
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    @Molly12345 I would say you probably will save or come out even. I don't know exact NYC prices but I know Chicago and NYC are similar. On a side note, I'm kind of jealous of your tropical destinations. You will have gorgeous wedding photos!

    I am getting married in Chicago. It's a huge wedding. All out. My fiancé is a hospitality consultant so it's basically our wedding and a job interview all wrapped in one. We realized how much money was going out of our pockets either way and just said "go big or go home".

    Thanks for finding that post! I love to pull the bless your heart out with the northern girls. They rarely have any idea it's a very polite "screw you". It's actually come out in the last few weeks that the snark was due to some bridesmaid issues. She had asked my best friend, my only bridesmaid, to be in her wedding as well. Since they are 2 weeks apart and my bestie is expecting a new baby in July, she said no very graciously but I got the cattiness over it. Everyone will be alright in the end.
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  • SpringBride216SpringBride216 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    Our wedding budget is approx. $60k for 75ish (we haven't sent invites yet) guests in wine country. This doesn't include rehearsal dinner, rings, honeymoon, or travel to the area for wedding planning (it's a destination wedding). We are paying for everything ourselves (except the rehearsal dinner). We originally set a $50k budget but quickly realized that's (sadly) hard to do in that area, so we sucked it up and upped the budget. I feel fortunate that we're able to throw ourselves a nice wedding, but honestly, I'm also a little appalled at what we're spending for a 6-hour party. 
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  • dwhereicomedwhereicome member
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    SpringBride216 - thanks for posting! As metnioned above- t would be great to know how many guests you are having  so as to have a comparison. 
    By wine country you mean sonoma/ napa? 
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  • dwhereicomedwhereicome member
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    edited May 2014
    alm&mdm I'm glad it all worked out. Good to hear. Your friend did the right thing by pulling out if she really couldn't fulfill the responsibility.
     You're having 400+ right? Good luck! I'm sure it will be fantastic
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  • SpringBride216SpringBride216 member
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    Yup, by wine country we are getting married in Sonoma County (we were originally planning on Napa Valley but there's so few good wedding venues there that we broadened our search). We are inviting around 100 guests and expecting somewhere between 65-75 people, since it's a destination wedding for all attendees. 
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  • alm&mdmalm&mdm member
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    @dwhereicome we have 430 ish receiving invites and expect 375 ish.
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  • Newborndoc2008Newborndoc2008 member
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    @dwhereicome We had our wedding at a resort in Williamsburg, VA as a neutral East Coast destination for all our guests. We prioritized a beautiful venue and catering from a high end vendor. I think we came in at $47k for ~ 50 adults. Open top shelf bar, incredible food, and a high demand live band. You only get married once right?
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  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    We're coming in at about $52k for 75 guests in NYC, not including dress/attire, rings, RD or HM.  I originally projected $45k, but like for so many others, costs came in higher than expected.  :)  Most of the budget going to high end venue and food.  
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  • majesty318majesty318 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    We are ending up at $30K/ 160 guests in North Jersey for which, TBH, I am totally patting myself on the back! This area is crazy expensive but we booked short notice and got a great deal on the venue.

    FI, on the other hand, would have preferred to elope so he is still in shock at the total - even though this was the amount I had been shooting for but thought we'd go over.
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