Wedding Etiquette Forum

Yeah...so this just happened...

RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
edited May 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Friend just received a wedding invitation that included not only the registry info and cash bar info, but...

A menu that listed meals available for purchase, prices, as well as tax and mandatory 18% gratuity.  Plus the admission fee to the aquarium the reception is held at.

It's also an in-law so she has to attend. I will absolutely share the report on the shitshow that happens later.

Said person is also a transplant to a northern state from a southern state, and frequently gets snarky with my friend about the 'lack of manners up here'. 


PrettyGirlLosttabathafaye[Deleted User]
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Re: Yeah...so this just happened...

  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
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    Holy shitballs. Bring a gift, pay admission and buy your meal. Yup, sounds like a great plan. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • That sounds awful. Can't wait to read the update.

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  • Did they include credit card slips to take deposits too?  You know, to make sure no one stiffs them at the end of their meal.
    VulgarGirl
  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes) member
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    sarah1551 said:
    She is NO Southerner....
    YAY! That was my 100th comment!


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    PrettyGirlLostRebeccaB88tabathafaye
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    Once again I will say... ... Cash bars are the down fall of the art of hosting. Once it's okay to have your GUESTS open their wallets for a beverage someone will take it to the next level. GRRR






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    SmileDamnitPrettyGirlLostmelbelleup
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    As a southern transplant to a northern state, I am ashamed of this B&G who thought all that shit is ok. The damn menu with prices is a whole new level of garbage. Nooooo fucking ma'am. NAW.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    PrettyGirlLostSimky906Belle52011ChellaTims
  • It's funny how it is often jokingly suggested to SS to just charge an entry fee to their wedding to make it easier to get cash from guests but this is requires entry fee AND paying for your own meal?!
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
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    FFS I'm a "Yankee" and this would never fly with anyone I know!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    huskypuppy14tortoisebrideKeptInStitchesyogablossom
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    FFS I'm a "Yankee" and this would never fly with anyone I know!
    That would not fly in  my mid-Atlantic or DH's Long Island social circles.  Like at all.  They may have gaps, but they sure as hell host their guests properly otherwise. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
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    lyndausvi said:
    FFS I'm a "Yankee" and this would never fly with anyone I know!
    That would not fly in  my mid-Atlantic or DH's Long Island social circles.  Like at all.  They may have gaps, but they sure as hell host their guests properly otherwise. 
    So what I hear you saying is that this is a regional thing?

    :-P

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • windiewindie member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    I included a note about the entrance fee for our ceremony site (its a state park) but so they would know to tell the gate they are with our wedding, so our guests DON'T have to pay!

    was the registry info for a honeyfund too?

    PrettyGirlLost
  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    Billing guests for their meals?  That's so much worse than a potluck wedding.

    Tacky. Tacky. Tacky.

    I'm predicting about a 5% acceptance rate on those invites: Wedding party and close family, might consider it.
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • SmileDamnitSmileDamnit Mile High City member
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    Ha!
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    This invite wins the "hell to the nizzo" award...and makes the wedding last weekend look like a dream.
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  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    If I *had* to go, I'd suddenly come down with the flu. Or I'd attend the ceremony and then suddenly come down with the flu.
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    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    FFS I'm a "Yankee" and this would never fly with anyone I know!
    Seriously! That shit don't fly in NY/NJ, I'll tell ya that. 
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    lyndausvi said:
    FFS I'm a "Yankee" and this would never fly with anyone I know!
    That would not fly in  my mid-Atlantic or DH's Long Island social circles.  Like at all.  They may have gaps, but they sure as hell host their guests properly otherwise. 
    So what I hear you saying is that this is a regional thing?

    :-P
    he he.  Well those are 2 different regions and 2 different social circles.   You decide.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We suggested the gift be a copy of Miss Manners with post it tabs attached to strategic pages.

    She has her own blog, so she's hoping to be able to live-blog the whole thing. Stay tuned.
    When is this wedding and what is the blog. This is going to be juicy!
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    tabathafaye
  • I jus woke up from a nap, so maybe I'm still groggy, but what the what now?!
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I have to say as a former event coordinator/bartender/waitstaff/every other job in catering industry I can not wrap my head around the logistics of this?   I've worked for many venues/restaurants/etc I can't think of any who allows for split checks 100+ ways.   

    How the hell is this going to even work?








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    PrettyGirlLostmelbelleup[Deleted User]
  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    If you "have" to go, go...and get them nothing but a lovely card. 
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    d2va
  • Sounds like they will have someone there with Square on their phone for the convenience. 

    *Rolled my eyes so hard I have a headache now*
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  • lyndausvi said:
    I have to say as a former event coordinator/bartender/waitstaff/every other job in catering industry I can not wrap my head around the logistics of this?   I've worked for many venues/restaurants/etc I can't think of any who allows for split checks 100+ ways.   

    How the hell is this going to even work?


    Every server's worst nightmare.
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    lyndausvi
  • ShellD13ShellD13 Can't get there from here member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I have hosted birthday dinners and the like at restaurants and if we are an extremely small party - I'll download a copy of the menu from the website and dress it up/reprint it without prices with the expectation that people could order whatever they want without worrying about cost (although I will admit I have on occasion excluded those menu items that would be budget busters) but asking people to pay for their reception meal?????  Yikes!
    Anniversary
  • Friend just received a wedding invitation that included not only the registry info and cash bar info, but...

    A menu that listed meals available for purchase, prices, as well as tax and mandatory 18% gratuity.  Plus the admission fee to the aquarium the reception is held at.

    It's also an in-law so she has to attend. I will absolutely share the report on the shitshow that happens later.

    Said person is also a transplant to a northern state from a southern state, and frequently gets snarky with my friend about the 'lack of manners up here'. 



    FFS what are they actually hosting?? What an etiquette nightmare. Nightmare. Metal rooster, if anything.
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