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Etiquette

(rant) friend snarking on my ring(s)

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Re: (rant) friend snarking on my ring(s)

  • ashleyepashleyep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited May 2014
    KGold80 said:
    I have a half carat black diamond solitaire that J bought from Overstock *gasp...cheap ass!* hahahaha This exact ring was like three times more expensive in an actual jewelry store, I'm all for the savings! 

    I have had people remark about the color and the fact that it is "only" half carat, but also that because I only wear a size 4.5 J has gotten off easy because anything bigger than half carat is really just too much for my hand. I always comment back with the fact that because I wear smaller stones, they can be higher quality :)


    My ring size is 4.5, too!!! My diamond is 3/4 carat and really, that is the max size I could get away with. He surprised me with the proposal, so I had no input whatsoever, but my ring is an absolutely beautiful solitaire. It catches the light perfectly and has a lot of fire. I wouldn't want any other ring! My band is tiny - a narrow row of baguette diamonds - to account for the larger solitaire on my itty bitty finger. OP, clearly she is insecure and regrets that she doesn't have a diamond. I'm sorry you have to deal with such a horrible person.

    My FI bought my ring as a 4.5. I wore it for almost a year when we went to look at wedding bands and the jeweler told me it was too big - now it's a 3.75! My stone looks big on my little fingers as well so my wedding band and e-ring band are plain for the same reasons you mentioned.


    I was going to say "Joke's on her! Pearls are too soft for an everyday e-ring" but everyone beat me to it.
    Anniversary
    kitsunegari89
  • Well she sounds like a joy to spend time with, I'd avoid that dollface as much as possible.

    Like everyone else has said, she is insecure with her ring.  One of my closest friends doesn't like diamonds so her H bought a sapphire e-ring that is perfect for her, but she still had all positive things to say about my diamond ring.

    One of my "friends" from college snarked on the size of my ring, all it did was make me feel better about the fact that he wasn't making it onto our guest list.  My ring is the perfect size for my hand, I wouldn't have wanted a full carat.
    kitsunegari89
  • annathy03 said:
    Well she sounds like a joy to spend time with, I'd avoid that dollface as much as possible.

    Like everyone else has said, she is insecure with her ring.  One of my closest friends doesn't like diamonds so her H bought a sapphire e-ring that is perfect for her, but she still had all positive things to say about my diamond ring.

    One of my "friends" from college snarked on the size of my ring, all it did was make me feel better about the fact that he wasn't making it onto our guest list.  My ring is the perfect size for my hand, I wouldn't have wanted a full carat.
    I like my stones. I don't know the carat size of the e-ring stones, but DH preferred to have a better quality stone than a large stone, since he could afford either or. I get compliments on the quality, and a young man at the grocery store this morning just complimented me on it saying that he now wished he had bought his fiance the nicer stones instead of the bigger ones, since they appear dull in comparison. I didn't really know what to say, but told him that she probably loves the ring he gave her and wouldn't trade it for anything... even a nicer stone. And he can always save up and upgrade the center stone later on (like in 10 years?) if he really feels like he wants to.

    The  way my ring is set (DH customized it), the stones are flush with each other (not flat, but a slight curve with the shape of the ring. He knew I'd be annoyed if my center stone stuck out and got caught on everything (I always am cursing my other rings that do this). They are still open through the sides and bottom so they sparkle just the same. The band is plain white gold, since I'm hard on my stuff and white gold can be re-dipped whenever it gets scratched (I have utilized this benefit twice already). I'm not a cowgirl or anything... I just do stuff with my hands. Definitely not the princess type. I can cook your dinner and build a cold frame in the garden in one afternoon. I know platinum is more durable than gold, but it's more expensive... plus having a "new" ring whenever I take it in to be dipped is really fun.
    My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3h1kr8sYk1qzve89.gif
  • anjuli116 said:

    A fellow Subaru driver! I've gotten the same comment about mine, and yeah, when I'm cruising through the snow with my AWD, I really couldn't care less what people choose to infer about me from my vehicle.

    It sounds like we have similar ring sets too.  I'm rough on things, so I got the tiny diamonds in the wedding band too, because I figured I'd find some way to scratch up a plain band. I think if it were me I would've responded with "Thankfully, mine is conflict free. I'm such a klutz, I'd have that beautiful pearl scratched to shreds in no time. You're probably much more graceful, so the durability issue shouldn't be a problem."

    I'm bad at responding to people when they're being awful. Mostly I just sputter or stand there stupidly. Hilariously enough, though, I was quick to rise to the defense of my car. Nobody insults Hilda.

    Why is a "lesbian car" an insult?
    Anniversary
    kitsunegari89
  • buttercup1958buttercup1958 Blue Smokey Mountains
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    CMGragain pearls are made out of aragonite which is a polymorph of clacite. Calcite is a common mineral within a sea animals shell. This is because as they evolved the water changed and allowed animals to build shells to protect themselves. The difference between calcite and aragonite is the temperature and pressure they are created in along with their chemical structure. Aragonite has a orthorhombic crystal structure while calcite has a trigonal crystal structure. They have the same chemical formula CaCO3. I guess that I should have been more specific that aragonite is the main component of pearls and not the actual pearl. I didn't think anyone but a geology major would care as much for the details so I tried to spare everyone.  

    ETA: I forgot the name, they are biomineralization. It does blur the lines between minerals and nonminerals a lot
    orthorhombicThey both have the same chemical formula which is CaCO3. I guess I should have been more specific that aragonite is the main component of a pearl. But I didn't think that anyone would want to know about it in that much detail. 
    image
    kitsunegari89CMGragainohannabelle
  • kitsunegari89kitsunegari89 member
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    kkitkat79 said:
    anjuli116 said:

    A fellow Subaru driver! I've gotten the same comment about mine, and yeah, when I'm cruising through the snow with my AWD, I really couldn't care less what people choose to infer about me from my vehicle.

    It sounds like we have similar ring sets too.  I'm rough on things, so I got the tiny diamonds in the wedding band too, because I figured I'd find some way to scratch up a plain band. I think if it were me I would've responded with "Thankfully, mine is conflict free. I'm such a klutz, I'd have that beautiful pearl scratched to shreds in no time. You're probably much more graceful, so the durability issue shouldn't be a problem."

    I'm bad at responding to people when they're being awful. Mostly I just sputter or stand there stupidly. Hilariously enough, though, I was quick to rise to the defense of my car. Nobody insults Hilda.

    Why is a "lesbian car" an insult?
    I felt it was homophobic, so it was really less insulting to the car and more insulting to lesbians. Also, my actual San Francisco lesbian aunts would tell you that the real lesbian car is a Hybrid and that a Subaru is really more of a pothead hippie car. My aunt offered to sew me Grateful Dead curtains for it as a joke.
    My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3h1kr8sYk1qzve89.gif
  • kkitkat79 said:
    anjuli116 said:

    A fellow Subaru driver! I've gotten the same comment about mine, and yeah, when I'm cruising through the snow with my AWD, I really couldn't care less what people choose to infer about me from my vehicle.

    It sounds like we have similar ring sets too.  I'm rough on things, so I got the tiny diamonds in the wedding band too, because I figured I'd find some way to scratch up a plain band. I think if it were me I would've responded with "Thankfully, mine is conflict free. I'm such a klutz, I'd have that beautiful pearl scratched to shreds in no time. You're probably much more graceful, so the durability issue shouldn't be a problem."

    I'm bad at responding to people when they're being awful. Mostly I just sputter or stand there stupidly. Hilariously enough, though, I was quick to rise to the defense of my car. Nobody insults Hilda.

    Why is a "lesbian car" an insult?
    I felt it was homophobic, so it was really less insulting to the car and more insulting to lesbians. Also, my actual San Francisco lesbian aunts would tell you that the real lesbian car is a Hybrid and that a Subaru is really more of a pothead hippie car. My aunt offered to sew me Grateful Dead curtains for it as a joke.

    Someone said that they never felt the need to defend themselves when being called gay because there is nothing insulting about being gay. So really there was no need to quickly "rise to the defense of your car", I don't think.
    Anniversary
  • kitsunegari89kitsunegari89 member
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    kkitkat79 said:
    kkitkat79 said:
    anjuli116 said:

    A fellow Subaru driver! I've gotten the same comment about mine, and yeah, when I'm cruising through the snow with my AWD, I really couldn't care less what people choose to infer about me from my vehicle.

    It sounds like we have similar ring sets too.  I'm rough on things, so I got the tiny diamonds in the wedding band too, because I figured I'd find some way to scratch up a plain band. I think if it were me I would've responded with "Thankfully, mine is conflict free. I'm such a klutz, I'd have that beautiful pearl scratched to shreds in no time. You're probably much more graceful, so the durability issue shouldn't be a problem."

    I'm bad at responding to people when they're being awful. Mostly I just sputter or stand there stupidly. Hilariously enough, though, I was quick to rise to the defense of my car. Nobody insults Hilda.

    Why is a "lesbian car" an insult?
    I felt it was homophobic, so it was really less insulting to the car and more insulting to lesbians. Also, my actual San Francisco lesbian aunts would tell you that the real lesbian car is a Hybrid and that a Subaru is really more of a pothead hippie car. My aunt offered to sew me Grateful Dead curtains for it as a joke.

    Someone said that they never felt the need to defend themselves when being called gay because there is nothing insulting about being gay. So really there was no need to quickly "rise to the defense of your car", I don't think.
    Generally when someone refers to something as "gay" they intend it to be insulting. Being gay is not actually/should not be an insult, but the psychology behind the statement is that it is and that there is something wrong with it, since that's the attitude of everyone who ever says "that's so gay". It's not being gay that's the problem; It's cultural attitudes. I guess I should clarify that I was more peeved that she had intended to insult my car, and also that she was being homophobic by using "lesbian" as an insult.
    My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3h1kr8sYk1qzve89.gif
    hellohkb
  • Dang do I have to trade my car in now?  Bummer cause this lesbian really likes her Mazda
    kitsunegari89CamiSeleneanjuli116hellohkb
  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha The Midwestern tundra member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I would've been all
    image 

    But I'm really glad I saw this; I was going to get a pearl engagement ring! I had no idea they were so fragile!

    image
  • Thanks for the pearl information! I don't shower with my earrings in because I just was taught to never wear jewelry in the shower. But, once out, I just live in my pearl studs. I just took them out, I won't sleep in them anymore. I'll wear my necklaces later to give them some loves. And take the one for restringing. The clasp is wobbly, I'm worried about breaking it.

    Is perfume oil ok for them, or should I skip that? It's just oil, no alcohol.
    kitsunegari89
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Pearls are my favorite stone by far. However, you can't have an e-ring made of them unless you are going to only wear it occasionally. Also, many jewelers will at least have certified conflict-free diamonds, or they may not even sell blood diamonds. The place we got mine at does not sell a diamond unless it's certified. 

    What a stupid girl your friend is. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    kitsunegari89HaileyDancingbear
  • Now I'm prancing around in my ratty tank top and sweat pants with my pearl necklaces on. DF looked at me like I'm a bit crazy.

    Ok, that might be related to my tiara of tacky being on also and I keep scaring the cats with my evil cackle while petting my pearls. Because if I am wearing pearls for the heck of it to give them loves, why not go all out in crazy fun.
    kitsunegari89[Deleted User]anjuli116
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited May 2014
    "Is perfume oil ok for them, or should I skip that? It's just oil, no alcohol."

    Perfume and perfume oil is not a good thing for pearls.  I rinse mine off in clear water after wearing a few times.  I let them air dry on a soft towel, and buff them after they are completely dry.

    Remember, pearls are not a stone.  They are a gem that is made from the secretions of a living animal.  This is also true of natural coral (made from the tiny skeletons of sea coral).  Amber is fossilized resin, and has really increased in price during the past few years.  Both coral and amber are frequently faked with plastic.
    My best eBay buy was a vintage sterling silver and amber bead necklace for $35.  It was appraised for over $1000.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    kitsunegari89PrincessOfHavoc
  • Thanks! Didn't have any perfume on during my fun attire, but I'll avoid any in the future. I need to find more reasons to wear them, they make me happy. In particular, my precious necklace of peacock pearls that's 21" and was my last birthday present from my mom. If I'm not getting into anything icky, how acceptable is it to wear pearls just because?

    How exactly do you rinse them? I'm assuming not under the tap. I promise I'll start taking good care of my pearls. They don't have any dead spots, they're individually knotted on silk thread and they lay flat in their individual boxes. What more am I missing besides a lot?
    kitsunegari89
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer

    Thanks! Didn't have any perfume on during my fun attire, but I'll avoid any in the future. I need to find more reasons to wear them, they make me happy. In particular, my precious necklace of peacock pearls that's 21" and was my last birthday present from my mom. If I'm not getting into anything icky, how acceptable is it to wear pearls just because?

    How exactly do you rinse them? I'm assuming not under the tap. I promise I'll start taking good care of my pearls. They don't have any dead spots, they're individually knotted on silk thread and they lay flat in their individual boxes. What more am I missing besides a lot?

    I'm just commenting on this because I wear pearls just because all the time.
    HisGirlFriday13PrincessOfHavockitsunegari89KeptInStitches
  • Thanks! Didn't have any perfume on during my fun attire, but I'll avoid any in the future. I need to find more reasons to wear them, they make me happy. In particular, my precious necklace of peacock pearls that's 21" and was my last birthday present from my mom. If I'm not getting into anything icky, how acceptable is it to wear pearls just because?

    How exactly do you rinse them? I'm assuming not under the tap. I promise I'll start taking good care of my pearls. They don't have any dead spots, they're individually knotted on silk thread and they lay flat in their individual boxes. What more am I missing besides a lot?

    I'm just commenting on this because I wear pearls just because all the time.
    So do I. Pretty much every other day.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    PrincessOfHavockitsunegari89
  • The late Amy Vanderbilt used to say that pearls were always appropriate to wear, except maybe with a swim suit.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    PrincessOfHavockitsunegari89
  • CMGragain said:

    The late Amy Vanderbilt used to say that pearls were always appropriate to wear, except maybe with a swim suit.

    Miss Manners still says this. :)
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    PrincessOfHavockitsunegari89
  • Really? Hello my babies! I won't wear them to work since I destroy jeans there. But less hazardous stuff.... now maybe I need more.
  • TheMoezTheMoez member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    I am on my third Subaru Forester and I get the "lesbian car" line all the time! (Even from some of my lesbian friends) 
    kitsunegari89[Deleted User]
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I wear my real pearls rarely- they were my grandma's and are set in yellow gold (not my preference).

    Regarding e ring snark... shortly after dh and I got engaged we jad drinks with some of his old coworkers. At some point ir came out that the diamonds came from my grandma's e ring (center stone was from grandpa's mother's e ring, very old, lots of history and happy marriage years on it). One gal who previously had a thing for dh made a snarky comment about dh being too cheap to buy me a "new" ring. I responded that no, it was a matter of dh knowing me so well and having such respect for my grandma that he was kind enough to have her ring custom reset for my hand rather than going to a commercial store to pick out something with less history and personal meaning. Shut her up real quick. She was not on the wedding invite list.
    annathy03HaileyDancingbear
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