Alright, so anytime I have an emotion anymore, I bring it to you people. That's not whats bugging me, I'm just stating that's why this post is now in existence.
So...I've been out for a long time, almost 15 years now (oh fuck, wow...I feel old now), and I've gotten used to the idea that most people use heterosexual language as their default setting. Bride and groom, girlfriend and boyfriend, what does your husband do, the default is to assume everyone is straight until told otherwise. I don't like it, but it's standard practice.
Well lately, it's been pissing me off more and more! Every single wedding thing I read aimed at women talks about your groom, what he'll do, how you should talk with him, how he'll be your husband, blah, blah, blah, him, him, him. Why can we not use the word partner? Why can we not say spouse? What the fuck, it's 2014, as of yesterday 19 states and DC have legalized same sex marriage. Our federal government recognizes same sex marriage. And our default is still to assume straight until told otherwise?!
I'm not sure why this bugs me now so much. Maybe...I feel kind of like...it's a way to keep separating us. It's a way to say, you, you're over there. Read this special article about your special wedding that will be specially different from the normal weddings. And yeah, my wedding is going to be a bit odd, but not because my partner is also a woman, but because I'm a fucking weirdo. I'd be just as weird if I liked guys.
And just to be clear, this isn't about ya'll or anything. You people have been awesome and very accepting and just like "Oh, you're marrying a chick, alright, what's she like, what is she wearing and you still can't have a cash bar", ya know, like we're a fucking normal couple just like the heteros. It's more the Wedding Industrial Complex in general. Like, The Knot is all "Oh yeah, we're cool with same sex weddings" but everything is about "your groom" and pushes the hetero-normative idea. Every ad in bridal magazines is happy straight people. Mostly white too, rarely mixed race couples. It's just fucking annoying!
Ok, that's it, that's all I had to say. I think. (also I'm proud I got through this with very few misspellings, I'm a terrible speller)