FI got a lap dance.. Am I Overreacting?

Re: FI got a lap dance.. Am I Overreacting?

• chibiyui member

  

  July 2014

  brideofginger said:

  chibiyui - I've had about ten years in retail/service industry. I know how you feel. In retrospect, there were always more important places for me to direct my outrage than to people who thought they were being nice but were inadvertently being rude to me.

  I don't think this is a case deserving outrage, so much as mentioning to your FI that maybe he shouldn't try to go all guidance counselor on peoples vocations. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• brideofginger member

  

  July 2014

  chibiyui said:

  brideofginger said:

  chibiyui - I've had about ten years in retail/service industry. I know how you feel. In retrospect, there were always more important places for me to direct my outrage than to people who thought they were being nice but were inadvertently being rude to me.

  I don't think this is a case deserving outrage, so much as mentioning to your FI that maybe he shouldn't try to go all guidance counselor on peoples vocations. 

  LOL. That's fair. That dude has more maternal instincts than I do.

  

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• VulgarGirl member

  

  July 2014

  brideofginger said:

  beethery said:

  kns1988 said:

  
  

  brideofginger said:

  
  

  I know nobody cares now, but I wouldn't care if my FI went to a strip club. But he also told me that one of the only times he went, he got drunk and tried to talk a girl out of her job and into going back to college, so... I mean, really, he'd probably feel grosser and more guilty about it than I would.

  Ughhhhh I hate men that have to try to be saviors. Strippers are not damsels in distress that need saving. They're women doing their damn jobs.
  

  UUUUUUGH THIS.

  
  

  "Don't you want to go to college and try to make something of yourself?"

  
  

  "I paid for tuition with last months tips. By the way, you owe me $60."

  I hadn't realized it was horribly offensive/The Worst Thing Ever. I just thought it was funny. He probably could have/would have had the same conversation if it had been someone behind the counter at a Blockbuster Video or something (and I can attest that video stores are a godawful place to work.)

  So what would qualify as an acceptable job to your FI? Barista? No, that's food service. Clearly not a maid, or anyone in any kind of janitorial work. Hm...construction workers? Is that an acceptable line of work? What about mechanics? Artists? Musicians? At what point is he not going to weigh in on someone else's job choice? 

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• brideofginger member

  

  July 2014

  MagicInk said:

  brideofginger said:

  beethery said:

  kns1988 said:

  
  

  brideofginger said:

  
  

  I know nobody cares now, but I wouldn't care if my FI went to a strip club. But he also told me that one of the only times he went, he got drunk and tried to talk a girl out of her job and into going back to college, so... I mean, really, he'd probably feel grosser and more guilty about it than I would.

  Ughhhhh I hate men that have to try to be saviors. Strippers are not damsels in distress that need saving. They're women doing their damn jobs.
  

  UUUUUUGH THIS.

  
  

  "Don't you want to go to college and try to make something of yourself?"

  
  

  "I paid for tuition with last months tips. By the way, you owe me $60."

  I hadn't realized it was horribly offensive/The Worst Thing Ever. I just thought it was funny. He probably could have/would have had the same conversation if it had been someone behind the counter at a Blockbuster Video or something (and I can attest that video stores are a godawful place to work.)

  So what would qualify as an acceptable job to your FI? Barista? No, that's food service. Clearly not a maid, or anyone in any kind of janitorial work. Hm...construction workers? Is that an acceptable line of work? What about mechanics? Artists? Musicians? At what point is he not going to weigh in on someone else's job choice? 

  Probably about the same point you no longer take everything I say as if it's some kind of gospel that needs to be dissected to make sure there is absolutely nothing contained therein that could accidentally or inadvertently offend other people.

  

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• VulgarGirl member

  

  July 2014

  brideofginger said:

  MagicInk said:

  brideofginger said:

  beethery said:

  kns1988 said:

  
  

  brideofginger said:

  
  

  I know nobody cares now, but I wouldn't care if my FI went to a strip club. But he also told me that one of the only times he went, he got drunk and tried to talk a girl out of her job and into going back to college, so... I mean, really, he'd probably feel grosser and more guilty about it than I would.

  Ughhhhh I hate men that have to try to be saviors. Strippers are not damsels in distress that need saving. They're women doing their damn jobs.
  

  UUUUUUGH THIS.

  
  

  "Don't you want to go to college and try to make something of yourself?"

  
  

  "I paid for tuition with last months tips. By the way, you owe me $60."

  I hadn't realized it was horribly offensive/The Worst Thing Ever. I just thought it was funny. He probably could have/would have had the same conversation if it had been someone behind the counter at a Blockbuster Video or something (and I can attest that video stores are a godawful place to work.)

  So what would qualify as an acceptable job to your FI? Barista? No, that's food service. Clearly not a maid, or anyone in any kind of janitorial work. Hm...construction workers? Is that an acceptable line of work? What about mechanics? Artists? Musicians? At what point is he not going to weigh in on someone else's job choice? 

  Probably about the same point you no longer take everything I say as if it's some kind of gospel that needs to be dissected to make sure there is absolutely nothing contained therein that could accidentally or inadvertently offend other people.

  Oh honey, no I don't take what you say as gospel. But you're the one going "LOL my FI totally would talk people out of their bad jobs they clearly have because of a lack of education, isn't that funny!"

  
  

  It's not funny. It's rude and disrespectful. There is nothing wrong about doing an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. Some people with what your FI would define as a horrible job, actually like their work. Or are proud of the work they do. Or maybe are in fact working to pay for college to get better jobs they'll like more. Whatever the fuck it is, it's not the business of your FI. If it's a stripper, a video clerk, or candle sticker maker. It's not his job to rescue people who haven't asked to be rescued and are not in need of rescuing. 

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• brideofginger member

  

  July 2014 edited July 2014

  MagicInk said:

  brideofginger said:

  MagicInk said:

  brideofginger said:

  beethery said:

  kns1988 said:

  
  

  brideofginger said:

  
  

  I know nobody cares now, but I wouldn't care if my FI went to a strip club. But he also told me that one of the only times he went, he got drunk and tried to talk a girl out of her job and into going back to college, so... I mean, really, he'd probably feel grosser and more guilty about it than I would.

  Ughhhhh I hate men that have to try to be saviors. Strippers are not damsels in distress that need saving. They're women doing their damn jobs.
  

  UUUUUUGH THIS.

  
  

  "Don't you want to go to college and try to make something of yourself?"

  
  

  "I paid for tuition with last months tips. By the way, you owe me $60."

  I hadn't realized it was horribly offensive/The Worst Thing Ever. I just thought it was funny. He probably could have/would have had the same conversation if it had been someone behind the counter at a Blockbuster Video or something (and I can attest that video stores are a godawful place to work.)

  So what would qualify as an acceptable job to your FI? Barista? No, that's food service. Clearly not a maid, or anyone in any kind of janitorial work. Hm...construction workers? Is that an acceptable line of work? What about mechanics? Artists? Musicians? At what point is he not going to weigh in on someone else's job choice? 

  Probably about the same point you no longer take everything I say as if it's some kind of gospel that needs to be dissected to make sure there is absolutely nothing contained therein that could accidentally or inadvertently offend other people.

  Oh honey, no I don't take what you say as gospel. But you're the one going "LOL my FI totally would talk people out of their bad jobs they clearly have because of a lack of education, isn't that funny!"

  
  

  It's not funny. It's rude and disrespectful. There is nothing wrong about doing an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. Some people with what your FI would define as a horrible job, actually like their work. Or are proud of the work they do. Or maybe are in fact working to pay for college to get better jobs they'll like more. Whatever the fuck it is, it's not the business of your FI. If it's a stripper, a video clerk, or candle sticker maker. It's not his job to rescue people who haven't asked to be rescued and are not in need of rescuing. 

  I'm sorry that you find other people's well-intentioned condescension so offensive. I don't love it when people are condescending to me either, but at least I can acknowledge it when called out (by another person in this thread, no less) in a way that doesn't involve cussing at someone for not agreeing with them. I'm sorry that my ten years of experience in the service industry in various facets doesn't make me qualified to say that those jobs do in fact suck, at least sometimes. I'm also sorry that I can admit I was condescending and you're calling me "honey" and getting praised for it.
  I'm going to put you on "ignore" now so we can both move on with our lives, since clearly my attempt at banter before today, however flawed it was, is akin to killing puppies in front of you.

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