Wedding Etiquette Forum

Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

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Re: Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

  • Maggie I am sorry but you think the rest of the people in the WORLD are rude when they don't do things the American way? I am sorry but that is ethnocentric and arrogant. You think the rest of the WORLD (which is most of it by the way) should change the traditions in their country (or when they are in this country for that matter) bc an AMERICAN doesn't think its right to do it that way? Even if their family and friends for the most part are from that other country?

    As for not understanding it- I think its a pretty simple concept. For many people you have to legally get married before you have the actual celebration (and no im not talking about years and years-months or weeks). Their desire for a celebration of their marriage is no less valid than your reasons- and as I said before for many- its a matter of dates and times lining up correctly. For people who have family all over- that family is likely thankful that you want them there so much that you are doing things at a different time and date and unlike many people here, they don't care if you signed papers ahead of time.  A party to celebrate is a part to celebrate. Should people be offended that I have my bday party on a saturday despite the fact that my actual birthday was weds? I think people just don't hide it here in NY when they have been married for a long time before the celebration. They are upfront about the fact that their wedding is just a party after the fact which i know is really what most people here are saying.

    There will always going to be selfish, greedy people in the world regarding weddings (and everything else for that matter) and just as many of them do it the "traditional" way as the ones who don't. Weddings seem to bring out the worst in almost everyone- and im not even talking about this particular issue.

    I think the main thing is we are clearly going to agree to disagree here but I am not sure being so judgy is right (on either side). As for the hun thing. that's how many people write it why be so mean about it??
    For the love of God. Enough with the New York thing. Offer me ONE reliable source that NewYorkers statistically have more PPDs, are more accepting of PPDs, have been more influenced in their marriage rituals by cultural diversity than other populations, are overall less traditional in wedding rituals than other cities of similar size and diversity, and care less about weddings than other populations. Just ONE source. 
    What you have is pure conjecture. An absolutely untested and unproven proposition, with no supporting evidence at all. Zero.

    I think it happens because people inhale dandelion fluff and the little seed pods stick in their brains and they forget what the word "wedding" means. I asked my mom, and several friends. They agreed. My argument has equal weight at this point in time. Pure silly conjecture.
    perdonamiJCbride2015
  • I think that's wrong. It's not a fake ceremony for people since they consider the spiritual aspect just as important as the legal one. Legally yes you are married (and yes be honest about it!)-but wanting to add on to that in a spiritual ceremony in front of your loved ones doesn't harm anyone. Do people REALLY go to weddings bc they think they are witnessing the actual moment people are married legally and spiritually? Is that really why people show up to a wedding in some places? Do you know you aren't actually even married under  under the law until you consummate it? That is literally the law. So I guess everyone should be inviting their guests into the bedroom the night after the wedding so they can see them "really" get married if that is why you are attending someones wedding/marriage/ceremony.


    [Deleted User]


  • I don't have the time to quote, etc., regarding this whole chemo/interruption of chemo/how selfish can I be nonsense. TK mobile sucks. Here's the long and short of it:

    1. Mom (and Dad) have known the deal all along. In fact, it was in part Mom's idea to sign the paperwork when we did followed by leaving MX in place this Sept.

    2. Mom was diagnosed in March. Her treatments were slated to be 4-5 months, ending late summer/fall regardless of our wedding. Not related. Her treatment plan has been laid out by her doc at the Mayo Clinic. My wedding/travel plans had nothing to do with it. She will follow up chemo with a stem cell transplant. The timing of which will also be coordinated with Mayo, not me.

    3. Back in March we decided to pull the plug on MX. Mom wouldn't hear of it. We were going to do it anyway. We needed to make a final decision by July if we intended to retrieve deposits. By July her oncologists (both local and at Mayo) told her she would absolutely be fine to travel, which she's been adamant about wanting to. She has been very clear since Day 1 that she has zero intention of handing over anymore of her life or the things that are important to her to Multiple Myeloma. Apparently for her that includes a vacation she's been planning for about a year and a half.

    4. She planned her travel to be available for one of her final treatments on a Wednesday like usual. In talking to her docs they both agreed that that particular treatment can be postponed without any risk to her health or treatment plan. If they or she thought postponing would be detrimental, she would have received it as regularly scheduled.

    5. It may be hard for y'all to understand why she's excited about going to Mexico. It's not hard for me to understand it. Or anyone else whose opinion would be factored in to her travel or treatment plans.

    This has zero to do with me, or my alleged selfishness, and everything to do with medical professionals giving medical advice. And her oncologists clearly don't care about what she wants - they made her quit her job without notice, so their concern is her health first and what she wants second. But if an oncologist who specializes in your type of cancer at the Mayo Clinic says: you deserve a break, go enjoy your vacation, I think most of us would take the advice.

    SIB-

    As a Hematologist I call HUGE BULLSHIT on this.  There is NO WAY a patient actively receiving chemotherapy pending a stem cell transplant would be allowed to travel outside the country, especially to MEXICO. You are full of crap.



    I'm fucking nuts, I'll admit that. Bat shit crazy bitch perhaps. But putting my mother together in the same sentence as Multiple Myeloma is not something I'd be apt to do. And to what, make conversation about Mom's cancer with strangers on the Internet? Fuck that.

    So you can call bullshit all you'd like to @antibride2013, because I really don't give two red hot fucks. You may be a hematologist. And that's just great for you. You know what you're not? My mother's oncologist. Either of them. But here's some fun facts all the same: her white cell count is great. Her hermatacrit is back up where it needs to be. They do not feel, according to her weekly blood tests, that she is immuno-compromised. They have not begun harvesting her stem cells for the transplant, nor will they until 2015, because they do not feel it is necessary just yet. They are both well aware where she intends to travel and are just fine with it. Another fun fact: there are no immunizations or vaccines recommended for travel to Mexico. So perhaps if she said she was heading to the Congo maybe they'd have some concerns. But they don't.

    I must congratulate you though. You're the first poster to actually ever truly piss me off. But the feeling has passed once I realized how ridiculous it is to opine on someone's chemotherapy when you don't know dick-all about them, their treatment protocol, etc. Totally inappropriate and unprofessional.
    AroundTheBlock
  • kmmssg said:
    PDKH said:

    I will, why don't you move to the nest or the bump? you are already way past the knot hun! Just saying!
    and @knotporscha @PDKH is using foul language, is this allowed? 
    It is HON not hun.  Get it right.
    To be fair, she could mean this: 

    image
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    Sorry, so off topic but Mulan is seriously my favorite movie.  My afternoon needed this.  (well the gif, not the craziness this thread has become.  I don't know why but there is something about a girl whooping the entire Hun Army's buns that warms the cockles of my heart.  OK, I now return you back to the craziness.
    Mulan is definitely one of my favorites! And it's a seriously fantastic song that I may or may not have pulled up on Youtube after posting this. I've also been known to dramatically belt out "Reflection" after a glass of wine or four.
    image
    kmmssg
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think that's wrong. It's not a fake ceremony for people since they consider the spiritual aspect just as important as the legal one. Legally yes you are married (and yes be honest about it!)-but wanting to add on to that in a spiritual ceremony in front of your loved ones doesn't harm anyone. Do people REALLY go to weddings bc they think they are witnessing the actual moment people are married legally and spiritually? Is that really why people show up to a wedding in some places? Do you know you aren't actually even married under  under the law until you consummate it? That is literally the law. So I guess everyone should be inviting their guests into the bedroom the night after the wedding so they can see them "really" get married if that is why you are attending someones wedding/marriage/ceremony.


    I have to say, I have never been to a wedding in my life, church or not in which the couple didn't sign the license right after the ceremony, in front of everyone.  It's what I've witnessed at every wedding I've been to (and I've been to a lot)

  • I don't have the time to quote, etc., regarding this whole chemo/interruption of chemo/how selfish can I be nonsense. TK mobile sucks. Here's the long and short of it: 1. Mom (and Dad) have known the deal all along. In fact, it was in part Mom's idea to sign the paperwork when we did followed by leaving MX in place this Sept. 2. Mom was diagnosed in March. Her treatments were slated to be 4-5 months, ending late summer/fall regardless of our wedding. Not related. Her treatment plan has been laid out by her doc at the Mayo Clinic. My wedding/travel plans had nothing to do with it. She will follow up chemo with a stem cell transplant. The timing of which will also be coordinated with Mayo, not me. 3. Back in March we decided to pull the plug on MX. Mom wouldn't hear of it. We were going to do it anyway. We needed to make a final decision by July if we intended to retrieve deposits. By July her oncologists (both local and at Mayo) told her she would absolutely be fine to travel, which she's been adamant about wanting to. She has been very clear since Day 1 that she has zero intention of handing over anymore of her life or the things that are important to her to Multiple Myeloma. Apparently for her that includes a vacation she's been planning for about a year and a half. 4. She planned her travel to be available for one of her final treatments on a Wednesday like usual. In talking to her docs they both agreed that that particular treatment can be postponed without any risk to her health or treatment plan. If they or she thought postponing would be detrimental, she would have received it as regularly scheduled. 5. It may be hard for y'all to understand why she's excited about going to Mexico. It's not hard for me to understand it. Or anyone else whose opinion would be factored in to her travel or treatment plans. This has zero to do with me, or my alleged selfishness, and everything to do with medical professionals giving medical advice. And her oncologists clearly don't care about what she wants - they made her quit her job without notice, so their concern is her health first and what she wants second. But if an oncologist who specializes in your type of cancer at the Mayo Clinic says: you deserve a break, go enjoy your vacation, I think most of us would take the advice.

    SIB-

    As a Hematologist I call HUGE BULLSHIT on this.  There is NO WAY a patient actively receiving chemotherapy pending a stem cell transplant would be allowed to travel outside the country, especially to MEXICO. You are full of crap.
    I'm fucking nuts, I'll admit that. Bat shit crazy bitch perhaps. But putting my mother together in the same sentence as Multiple Myeloma is not something I'd be apt to do. And to what, make conversation about Mom's cancer with strangers on the Internet? Fuck that. So you can call bullshit all you'd like to @antibride2013, because I really don't give two red hot fucks. You may be a hematologist. And that's just great for you. You know what you're not? My mother's oncologist. Either of them. But here's some fun facts all the same: her white cell count is great. Her hermatacrit is back up where it needs to be. They do not feel, according to her weekly blood tests, that she is immuno-compromised. They have not begun harvesting her stem cells for the transplant, nor will they until 2015, because they do not feel it is necessary just yet. They are both well aware where she intends to travel and are just fine with it. Another fun fact: there are no immunizations or vaccines recommended for travel to Mexico. So perhaps if she said she was heading to the Congo maybe they'd have some concerns. But they don't. I must congratulate you though. You're the first poster to actually ever truly piss me off. But the feeling has passed once I realized how ridiculous it is to opine on someone's chemotherapy when you don't know dick-all about them, their treatment protocol, etc. Totally inappropriate and unprofessional.

    SIFB-

    If your mother is receiving chemo then guess what sweetie she is compromised!  That is basic hematology 101.  Chemo=poison to kill stuff.  And the main reason patients aren't allowed out of the country is because if she catches anything from a 3rd world country (which Mexico is classified as-don't drink the water) she is disqualified from being transplant eligible.  You may not need immunizations to travel to Mexico but cancer patients receiving chemo-that is a huge NO NO. I am really curious on what her hematologists are saying about if her platelets bottom out while she is there.  Get transfused in Mexico?!?!?!
    rajahmdperdonamiashley8918
  • I don't have the time to quote, etc., regarding this whole chemo/interruption of chemo/how selfish can I be nonsense. TK mobile sucks. Here's the long and short of it:

    1. Mom (and Dad) have known the deal all along. In fact, it was in part Mom's idea to sign the paperwork when we did followed by leaving MX in place this Sept.

    2. Mom was diagnosed in March. Her treatments were slated to be 4-5 months, ending late summer/fall regardless of our wedding. Not related. Her treatment plan has been laid out by her doc at the Mayo Clinic. My wedding/travel plans had nothing to do with it. She will follow up chemo with a stem cell transplant. The timing of which will also be coordinated with Mayo, not me.

    3. Back in March we decided to pull the plug on MX. Mom wouldn't hear of it. We were going to do it anyway. We needed to make a final decision by July if we intended to retrieve deposits. By July her oncologists (both local and at Mayo) told her she would absolutely be fine to travel, which she's been adamant about wanting to. She has been very clear since Day 1 that she has zero intention of handing over anymore of her life or the things that are important to her to Multiple Myeloma. Apparently for her that includes a vacation she's been planning for about a year and a half.

    4. She planned her travel to be available for one of her final treatments on a Wednesday like usual. In talking to her docs they both agreed that that particular treatment can be postponed without any risk to her health or treatment plan. If they or she thought postponing would be detrimental, she would have received it as regularly scheduled.

    5. It may be hard for y'all to understand why she's excited about going to Mexico. It's not hard for me to understand it. Or anyone else whose opinion would be factored in to her travel or treatment plans.

    This has zero to do with me, or my alleged selfishness, and everything to do with medical professionals giving medical advice. And her oncologists clearly don't care about what she wants - they made her quit her job without notice, so their concern is her health first and what she wants second. But if an oncologist who specializes in your type of cancer at the Mayo Clinic says: you deserve a break, go enjoy your vacation, I think most of us would take the advice.

    I'm also being treated at Mayo Clinic with inpatient chemo therapy. So, you can't just throw that around to be impressive. I do, however, trust them on their judgments and with me, even with a life threatening clot, they were panicky about my treatment being postponed. I'm sure it's a difference in cancers, but to me, postponing is the very last thing I'd ever do.

    I'm at least relieved to see that you were considering canceling your plans. That does show a bit of selflessness in this whole mess. Not that my opinion matters.



    I didn't mention it to be impressive, I mentioned it to back up the fact that when the docs at Mayo talk it should be taken as decent authority. And that there's no way they'd be willing to adjust a treatment protocol just because a patient felt like it. They would have to be okay with it from a medical standpoint.

    When I read that you were diagnosed with cancer and in other threads you've mentioned living in AZ, I hoped you were under their care as well. They really are awesome. And I hope your treatment is successful and over quickly.

    Yes, we were going to cancel. Without a doubt. But like I said above my Mom really wants to go and we're all really thankful right now that she's able to travel. The future is really unknown, and MM is not "curable" - the best we can hope for is a long, healthy remission. So she's ecstatic to travel with family and friends. And we're grateful she's able. Tis all.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    We signed ours 3 days before the ceremony. It was required.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image

  • AddieCake said:
    We signed ours 3 days before the ceremony. It was required.
    We actually didn't sign ours at all. You take this little oath when you apply, show ID, and then take the license to be signed by the officiant and witnesses only after the ceremony.
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    Liatris2010
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    That is what I said, yes. In Texas, or at least in the county we got married in, you are required to sign it at least 3 days before but no more than 30.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • PDKH said:

    AddieCake said:
    We signed ours 3 days before the ceremony. It was required.
    We actually didn't sign ours at all. You take this little oath when you apply, show ID, and then take the license to be signed by the officiant and witnesses only after the ceremony.
    Ditto on not actually signing at all.  In PA, if you have an officiant, only the officiant signs the license.  You don't even need witnesses.  If you're self-solemnizing, then you sign along with two witnesses.  When I said signing in my previous post, I meant doing whatever it takes in your state to make the marriage legal.
  • I think that's wrong. It's not a fake ceremony for people since they consider the spiritual aspect just as important as the legal one. Legally yes you are married (and yes be honest about it!)-but wanting to add on to that in a spiritual ceremony in front of your loved ones doesn't harm anyone. Do people REALLY go to weddings bc they think they are witnessing the actual moment people are married legally and spiritually? Is that really why people show up to a wedding in some places? Do you know you aren't actually even married under  under the law until you consummate it? That is literally the law. So I guess everyone should be inviting their guests into the bedroom the night after the wedding so they can see them "really" get married if that is why you are attending someones wedding/marriage/ceremony.


    Where???
    image
    ashley8918
  • My point is that its not as widespread as some people seem to think it is bc in my entire lifetime I have never even heard of this issue at all. I have never even heard of a PPD. The term as far as I know does not even exist for any single person I have spoken to about this. I'm not claiming this as scientific truth, I am claiming it as my own truth and apparently many others. Sure-for some it may, but for many it doesn't. So my natural reaction to that is-well maybe it's regional. It's not like I live or was raised in the middle of nowhere without human contact. And you know what-because this is such a ridiculous issue I don't think we will be seeing any scientific polls on it anytime soon. At least I hope not for the sake of wasted tax money.

    Never said they have more PPD's- I said if they get married way ahead of time I don't think people hide it so its a non-issue. If we are going that way no one here has scientific evidence that most people care either. We can only go by what we experience and my experience says no one i know has heard of this. Same as you are in a place where everyone has heard of it. Both are fine.

    And cultural diversity DOES affect new yorkers bc the people from other countries I'm speaking of ARE New Yorkers. Do you really think I am sitting here saying that all the white people in NY are affected bc of the cultural diversity and will go about things a different way? No- I am saying that if you are from another country (or your family is from another country) you will do things in the tradition of that country and no one will question you. And many, many people here go by different traditions. And the fact is this is pretty much only a North American issue as far as I can tell. Not to mention many of us "white" new yorkers end up marrying someone whose family is from one of these different cultures (as I am).

    I have more than 5 Indian friends who had two weddings. An Indian one and a white traditionally American one (especially if they married a white guy). Was one more important or significant than another? No- it wasn't. Why? because that's how things go in their culture.

    As for us caring "less" about weddings my point was no one seems to get hung up on whether they are married legally right in front of them or not because its irrelevant. It's a minor detail. It doesn't effect my life.

    All in all it seems society in general focuses too much on both the "wedding" and the "ceremony" instead of focusing on the marriage- and not the legal moment of marriage, but the actual lifelong marriage.



    [Deleted User]
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Yeah, signing a license and having a marriage ceremony conducted are not the same thing.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • True, my birthday is on a Monday, and wanted to celebrated on Friday. I am in fact re enacting my birthday just to have people I care with me. I am such a princess. @katiebelle2882 I agree with you, hun (insert southern accent here) It is a marriage, a reason to celebrate, not to judge. 
    Happy early birthday! (No snark)

    Ok, here's a better analogy since birthdays come and go every single year... we're talking once (hopefully if it's a wedding) in a lifetime events. 

    Let's say you give birth to your first child. You MIGHT tell your parents, but maybe not even them. You lie to everyone and tell them you're still pregnant (equivalent to telling them you are engaged/still engaged). Then you stage a pretend delivery at the hospital (equivalent of a PPD) and invite your family to see the new baby. They think they're there on the day you had this major life event and they're a part of it for that reason. If they had known that you delivered weeks or even months before, they might skip these theatrics and just congratulate you the next time they see you. 

    Or if the baby thing makes you squeamish... let's say you graduate from college. You lie to everyone and tell them you're still in school. You then invite them to a reenactment the ceremony and invite them to celebrate with you afterwards. People attend this "graduation ceremony" and celebration because they think they are a part of this big moment in your life. If they had known that the big moment happened weeks or even months before, they might skip the theatrics and just congratulate you the next time they see you.

    I'm invited to a wedding in Jamaica this year. It's going to cost about $5,000 for me and H to attend. If I find out that they've been married for months and we're just watching some theatrical, fake ceremony, I'm going to be PISSED. In all reality, their dishonesty and disregard for my time and money would diminish my respect for them and probably ruin the friendship.

    I'm honestly trying to help you understand why these fake ceremonies are ridiculous and a waste of yours and everyone else's time and money. 
    *********************************************************************************

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    Liatris2010




  • I don't have the time to quote, etc., regarding this whole chemo/interruption of chemo/how selfish can I be nonsense. TK mobile sucks. Here's the long and short of it:

    1. Mom (and Dad) have known the deal all along. In fact, it was in part Mom's idea to sign the paperwork when we did followed by leaving MX in place this Sept.

    2. Mom was diagnosed in March. Her treatments were slated to be 4-5 months, ending late summer/fall regardless of our wedding. Not related. Her treatment plan has been laid out by her doc at the Mayo Clinic. My wedding/travel plans had nothing to do with it. She will follow up chemo with a stem cell transplant. The timing of which will also be coordinated with Mayo, not me.

    3. Back in March we decided to pull the plug on MX. Mom wouldn't hear of it. We were going to do it anyway. We needed to make a final decision by July if we intended to retrieve deposits. By July her oncologists (both local and at Mayo) told her she would absolutely be fine to travel, which she's been adamant about wanting to. She has been very clear since Day 1 that she has zero intention of handing over anymore of her life or the things that are important to her to Multiple Myeloma. Apparently for her that includes a vacation she's been planning for about a year and a half.

    4. She planned her travel to be available for one of her final treatments on a Wednesday like usual. In talking to her docs they both agreed that that particular treatment can be postponed without any risk to her health or treatment plan. If they or she thought postponing would be detrimental, she would have received it as regularly scheduled.

    5. It may be hard for y'all to understand why she's excited about going to Mexico. It's not hard for me to understand it. Or anyone else whose opinion would be factored in to her travel or treatment plans.

    This has zero to do with me, or my alleged selfishness, and everything to do with medical professionals giving medical advice. And her oncologists clearly don't care about what she wants - they made her quit her job without notice, so their concern is her health first and what she wants second. But if an oncologist who specializes in your type of cancer at the Mayo Clinic says: you deserve a break, go enjoy your vacation, I think most of us would take the advice.

    SIB-

    As a Hematologist I call HUGE BULLSHIT on this.  There is NO WAY a patient actively receiving chemotherapy pending a stem cell transplant would be allowed to travel outside the country, especially to MEXICO. You are full of crap.

    I'm fucking nuts, I'll admit that. Bat shit crazy bitch perhaps. But putting my mother together in the same sentence as Multiple Myeloma is not something I'd be apt to do. And to what, make conversation about Mom's cancer with strangers on the Internet? Fuck that.

    So you can call bullshit all you'd like to @antibride2013, because I really don't give two red hot fucks. You may be a hematologist. And that's just great for you. You know what you're not? My mother's oncologist. Either of them. But here's some fun facts all the same: her white cell count is great. Her hermatacrit is back up where it needs to be. They do not feel, according to her weekly blood tests, that she is immuno-compromised. They have not begun harvesting her stem cells for the transplant, nor will they until 2015, because they do not feel it is necessary just yet. They are both well aware where she intends to travel and are just fine with it. Another fun fact: there are no immunizations or vaccines recommended for travel to Mexico. So perhaps if she said she was heading to the Congo maybe they'd have some concerns. But they don't.

    I must congratulate you though. You're the first poster to actually ever truly piss me off. But the feeling has passed once I realized how ridiculous it is to opine on someone's chemotherapy when you don't know dick-all about them, their treatment protocol, etc. Totally inappropriate and unprofessional.

    SIFB-

    If your mother is receiving chemo then guess what sweetie she is compromised!  That is basic hematology 101.  Chemo=poison to kill stuff.  And the main reason patients aren't allowed out of the country is because if she catches anything from a 3rd world country (which Mexico is classified as-don't drink the water) she is disqualified from being transplant eligible.  You may not need immunizations to travel to Mexico but cancer patients receiving chemo-that is a huge NO NO. I am really curious on what her hematologists are saying about if her platelets bottom out while she is there.  Get transfused in Mexico?!?!?!



    Doesn't sound to me they are afraid of her platelet count bottoming out. Because her local oncologist counts them by hand on a slide damn near every week and he feels she's doing just fine. Mayo guy concurs. And apparently there isn't any reason they can see for her to not travel to MX. They have not informed her she could be putting herself at risk to not be eligible for the transplant, and as a medical professional herself, I can assure you she has researched this stuff to death. As for the water, I'm positive she'll be sticking with bottled and I'm sure she'll be sent with a dose of Cipro for traveler's diarrhea if she's unlucky enough to get ahold of something that leaves her not feeling so hot. Trust me when I say that she hasn't decided to travel flippantly. And she's not an average patient, she's run OR's for the last 30+ years and reads her own labs, etc. She's not looking to take big risks to travel. But then again, it's all bullshit to you, so I guess there's no reason to worry.
  • I guess I just have no idea why watching a real or fake ceremony has any bearing on my spending $5000 to attend their wedding. If I can't afford it I can't afford it.Nothing changes the fact that you are out $5000. Them getting legally married in front of me means absolutely nothing if what matters to THEM is that I am there for a celebration and a ceremony that means the most to them. Why would it affect my decision to spend money on them? these are supposedly people I care about and what that means is I care about what makes them happy-not what makes me happy. The fact that they are getting "real married" doesn't waste any less or more of your time and money than if they weren't. I am honestly trying to understand why you watching a ceremony or a "real thing" makes a difference in the end to someone. What about that changes anything? Why is it important to someone to see that when it literally doesn't have anything to do with you? If it's not fake to them why is it fake to you? I mean certainly you can have that belief and not do it that way when your own day comes- but to force that opinion on others?

    On a different note- I obviously don't know where you live but....how on earth is this costing you $5000 to go to Jamaica? I am actually genuinely curious since I almost want to get your details and find you a better deal bc that seems RIDICULOUS :). (I wouldnt spend it real ceremony or fake LOL)


    closetome
  • What should be done once the marriage license has been purchased?

    After you have purchased your marriage license you must select an authorized officiate to perform the ceremony, and wait the appropriate 72-hours before the ceremony take place to get married; unless both parties have completed and obtained a Twogether in Texas premarital education class, or is a member of the armed forces of the United States and are on active duty.


    @mileybangerz I think she got confused about the 72 hours of waiting and signing, either way it is fine, I won't judge her, I don't know about y'all

    um, who got confused?  She and her FI signed the license when they first received it. 

    I'll copy and paste it again:

    What are the requirements for getting a formal marriage license?

    • Both parties must appear before the county clerk;
    • Submit proof of identity and age;
    • Provide information applicable to each person for which space is provided
    • Mark the appropriate boxes provided in the application and;
    • Take the oath printed on the application and sign before the county clerk.

    Just because they sign the fucking license does NOT mean they are married.  They wait 72 hours, they had the wedding, then the officiant signed the license.  THEN they are married.

    Good heavens, child. 
    image
    chibiyuiLDay2014JCbride2015
  • Why do you claim you know the process well? And why the fuck do you think that she was already married when they had the wedding ceremony?
    image
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I didn't sign anything in front of a judge b/c I did not get married by a judge. I signed the LICENSE in front of a CLERK 3 days before the CEREMONY performed by a MINISTER. Then, and only then, was I considered legally MARRIED. You're the only one confused.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    mileybangerzperdonamiNYCMercedesAPDSS22
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    Addie said she and her FI signed the marriage license.  You equate that to getting married.  IT IS NOT THE SAME.  They got married once the officiant witnessed the vows and then signed the license. 
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  • mileybangerzmileybangerz member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited August 2014
    Who the fuck cares if Addie and her husband completed a Twogether in Texas premarital education class?? 

    ETA:  All that means is that they wouldn't have to wait 72 hours and that they pay less for the license.  THAT'S IT.
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    AddieCake
  • My FI and I have already signed our Vermont wedding license. We have not been married by any sort of officiant (priest, JOP, etc, anyone licensed by the state of Vermont to perform marriages), thus we are not married.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    mileybangerzperdonamiAddieCake
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