I really appreciate all of you. First and foremost.
Please feel free to throw tomatoes, sloths, (full) wine bottles, or whatever when it becomes particularly obnoxious to read my posts. I'm good at catching things and like all of the above

So 2 things I want to get off my chest that I don't feel comfortable telling anyone IRL :
1. Remember when we had a talk about clothing sizes and how stupid they are? I bought a bridesmaid dress recently and it's 3 sizes bigger than what I would have thought I was. And it JUST fit. That mentally screwed with me. It's like, I already don't like how I look but that made me feel uglier. Stupid, I know, but true.
2. I know I'm thinking WAY too ahead because I will be in a different place in 4 months but I'm considering ignoring Christmas this year. Is that even possible? My sister whom I am VERY close with really wants me to come and visit her and her family (my parents will be there, too). But I can't stop thinking about how much of a wreck I will be at Christmas time this year. For those of you who have managed to dodge my other posts I'm going through a recent divorce and am pity partying on the reg. So I was thinking of taking myself alone on a vacation somewhere amazing and going all out. Is that stupid/crazy? Is avoidance a bad thing? Is it even possible to avoid Christmas anywhere? (I can't travel too far since I have huge jobs on Dec 20 and Jan 1 or else I was thinking Paris). I probably shouldn't spend the money.. I am doing okay but my savings could use a boost. But I'm afraid that Christmas is going to destroy me emotionally. I know this is a bridge I can cross in like 3.5 months but it's been on my mind since my sister and I talked yesterday and I started crying when she was talking about all the happy things they have planned for Christmas that she wanted to include me in and I just can't imagine being there and participating in all of the festivities without H. I also don't want to stay home. Or do something with friends. (My family is 3,000 miles away)