Wedding Etiquette Forum

How to have this convo UPDATE

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Re: How to have this convo UPDATE

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Thanks for all the kind thoughts about setting this shit on fire. I have been rage crying on and off all day for my husband. He's so fucking sad. For clarification, we told them we could arrive for ceremony and then stay for an hour and a half of the reception. Her response was that I was needed at hair and for decorating. My husband clarified for them that the decision meant we would not attend the reception at all. Their response - "I guess that's how it'll have to be."
    Well at least you now know how they truly feel about you and your friendship.

  • Thanks for all the kind thoughts about setting this shit on fire. I have been rage crying on and off all day for my husband. He's so fucking sad. For clarification, we told them we could arrive for ceremony and then stay for an hour and a half of the reception. Her response was that I was needed at hair and for decorating. My husband clarified for them that the decision meant we would not attend the reception at all. Their response - "I guess that's how it'll have to be."
    @FrankensteinLady - is your husband okay with this? At this point, they have shown their true colors. Are you still going to show up and be free labor for his "friends"? Why not just skip the whole thing? As PP mentioned, strep throat or some other *very* contagious ailment. 

    This is reprehensible. 
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
  • I also vote to skip it and have great night with some friends. You are nothing more than unpaid labor here.
    holyguacamole79PrettyGirlLostOliveOilsMom
  • Thanks for all the kind thoughts about setting this shit on fire. I have been rage crying on and off all day for my husband. He's so fucking sad. For clarification, we told them we could arrive for ceremony and then stay for an hour and a half of the reception. Her response was that I was needed at hair and for decorating. My husband clarified for them that the decision meant we would not attend the reception at all. Their response - "I guess that's how it'll have to be."

    Complete and utter bullshit. After that I would tell them "sorry but based on your attitude I don't feel comfortable continuing the friendship and since that is the case I feel we have to decline being in the wedding". Seriously. Do not put yourselves out for these people. They aren't worth it. 
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostLiatris2010huskypuppy14
  • Right now, since it is all so fresh, we are still attending the ceremony.
  • I would decline this bullshit in a hot second, but my husband is still processing everything and wants to be there to his bff get married.
  • I've got nothing to add except that I'm sorry this is happening to you and your husband. These people suck, you both deserve better, real friends.
    image
    [Deleted User]MairePoppyPrettyGirlLost
  • WOW! Sorry to hear about this OP! I wanted a kid free wedding too but I quickly realized people I loved and cared for wouldn't be able to attend so I changed my mind! And I don't regret it one bit! Plus a child free wedding is different then an infant/baby free wedding. The babies are in someone's arms the whole time and mostly sleeping!
    image


    Anniversary
    PrettyGirlLost
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its


    I would decline this bullshit in a hot second, but my husband is still processing everything and wants to be there to his bff get married.
    I hope if you ultimately decide to go to the ceremony that you're JUST doing that and not this decoration helping bullshit?!
    Finding you have a flat tire the morning of would eliminate that possibility.
                       
    BrandNewJPrettyGirlLostOliveOilsMom
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer


    I would decline this bullshit in a hot second, but my husband is still processing everything and wants to be there to his bff get married.
    I hope if you ultimately decide to go to the ceremony that you're JUST doing that and not this decoration helping bullshit?!
    Finding you have a flat tire the morning of would eliminate that possibility.
    I'll personally come and give the Bride and Groom a set of flat tires. . . just tell me when and where to be, and what transportation they are using.

    These people are assholes and I hope your Husband realizes this before their damn wedding, gets really pissed at his supposed "best friend" and tells him to fuck off.  And I hope that neither of you attends this shitshow.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    jdluvr06Kauris
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited September 2014
    What a couple of (used) colostomy bags. I can't even begin to explain my seething rage on your behalf.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
    PrettyGirlLostOliveOilsMom
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm so sorry for you.
  • Do not even consider going early to help decorate / watch the bride get her hair done / whatever the fuck they want you guys there for. If you decide to show up for the ceremony (at this point I'd totally understand declining the whole thing) and they throw a fit about you missing the morning, that'd be the last straw for me. I'd turn around right then and there.

    Since so many of your relatives are invited it seems like the B&G are family friends and it really sucks that their atrocious behaviour over one day will likely cause permanent damage for their relationship with you and your people.

    PrettyGirlLost
  • I can't believe this is a real-life scenario!!

    Good luck, OP!

    ...I hope you have a flat tire...or strep throat...or food poisoning...on the day of the wedding. That's a whole parade of ugly and stupid headed straight at you.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What if all 15 of your family declined at the last minute because it somehow slipped out that the bride needed you there to decorate instead of having the best man there for the reception?
    PrettyGirlLostKaurisBrandNewJLiatris2010
  • Is this real life?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    image
  • I'm so sorry that you're having to even deal with this. BFFs generally understand things like childcare - especially of an infant. There's no way I'd be going if I didn't have anyone to I trusted to watch my child. If I were in that situation, and the couple were friends of the family as well, I'm sure my mother would have volunteered to watch the baby so I and my H could attend and take care of our duties. Barring that, I'd be down with baby and HBO. Well wishes!
    Happiness is an inside job
    PrettyGirlLost
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