Douche -B finally got what was coming to him

chkmeowt · September 2014

JCbride2015 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

sarahbear31 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

JCbride2015 said:

sarahbear31 said:

MrsEverhart, I urge you to read @ashley8918‌'s post. There is a lot more to domestic abuse than you realize. Please educate yourself.

@sarahbear31 is better at containing her rage and profanity than I think I would be if I tried to respond to you right now. What she said.

SITB*******************

I read it. There was no new information about abuse within. As I said previously, I have sympathies for first time abuse victims and those that try to leave and are continually harassed by their abusers. When discussing the "cycle of abuse" if it's not to be continual, eventually someone must break it, no?

What society does for those who cannot protect themselves is important. My gripe isn't with what society does for the abused. It's with the NFL. Who places a higher value on abused adults than animals. Which clearly, I do not, again, because animals and children have no way to exercise free will. Adults do. Until the NFL gets it, I have lost all respect for the organization, not that I had a whole lot to begin with.

You are absolutely disgusting.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. thanks for the chuckle. i needed it. this diy project is really grating on my nerves and i needed the laugh to power me through it. the clock's a-tickin' :-))

The fact that THIS is the thread you choose to troll, knowing Seneca's situation today and that there is at least one DV survivor on this same thread, is what really disgusts me. This goes beyond internet trolling about your ridiculous fake wedding, or your alternate perceptions of the truth, or whatthefuckever. You are actively hurting real fucking people, real survivors of DV. If that doesn't make you a despicable human being, I don't know what does.

I was also physically and pyscologically abused by an ex. I would never wish it on anyone and I hope @STBMrsEverhart‌ never has to face it - nor will any of her friends, because with friends like her, who needs enemies.

Given the statistics of rape and domestic violence, i'm guessing there are plenty more survivors here.

mrs4everhart · September 2014

debmonn said:

JCbride2015 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

sarahbear31 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

JCbride2015 said:

sarahbear31 said:

MrsEverhart, I urge you to read @ashley8918‌'s post. There is a lot more to domestic abuse than you realize. Please educate yourself.

@sarahbear31 is better at containing her rage and profanity than I think I would be if I tried to respond to you right now. What she said.

SITB*******************

I read it. There was no new information about abuse within. As I said previously, I have sympathies for first time abuse victims and those that try to leave and are continually harassed by their abusers. When discussing the "cycle of abuse" if it's not to be continual, eventually someone must break it, no?

What society does for those who cannot protect themselves is important. My gripe isn't with what society does for the abused. It's with the NFL. Who places a higher value on abused adults than animals. Which clearly, I do not, again, because animals and children have no way to exercise free will. Adults do. Until the NFL gets it, I have lost all respect for the organization, not that I had a whole lot to begin with.

You are absolutely disgusting.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. thanks for the chuckle. i needed it. this diy project is really grating on my nerves and i needed the laugh to power me through it. the clock's a-tickin' :-))

The fact that THIS is the thread you choose to troll, knowing Seneca's situation today and that there is at least one DV survivor on this same thread, is what really disgusts me. This goes beyond internet trolling about your ridiculous fake wedding, or your alternate perceptions of the truth, or whatthefuckever. You are actively hurting real fucking people, real survivors of DV. If that doesn't make you a despicable human being, I don't know what does.

I was also physically and pyscologically abused by an ex. I would never wish it on anyone and I hope @STBMrsEverhart‌ never has to face it - nor will any of her friends, because with friends like her, who needs enemies.

Given the statistics of rape and domestic violence, i'm guessing there are plenty more survivors here.

Been there, done that. It was short lived indeed. Because I wasn't going to put up with his demeaning words or his physical abuse. I was 22 when I dumped him and moved out of state. I don't think we have to worry about my facing it now. Mr. E knows one of us will not leave that situation alive. As for my friends, I've already stated I surround myself with like-minded people. If they need my help the first time something bad happens, I'm there. They go back? Nope.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

sarahbear31 said:

You're so lucky to have learned such a valuable life lesson so early! SO many women are taught that you should let a man beat the shit out of you.

Well, it happens every day. So somewhere the same lesson must not be getting taught? Or, because there are so many women who do stay it teaches future generations it's normal. Which it is not. Obviously.

So yea, I'd say I'm pretty damn lucky. If more little girls were taught that zero tolerance for this shit is the only option, I'd be willing to say after a few generations these "cycles of violence" would peter out. Because who'd be getting abused and who'd be doing the abusing? Very few people that's who.

I know several women who have been the victims of domestic violence. I know their families and these are no-nonsense women. I can almost guarantee you that they were also raised with zero tolerance for that crap. But it still happened.

Both of these women were ashamed that it happened to them. They, too, had been raised not to tolerate shit. They probably thought it wouldn't happen to them. And when it did, they were embarrassed. It was hard for them to admit what was going on.

Whether it's the first time or twentieth time a woman is abused, NOBODY deserves to be shamed into somehow thinking it was her fault for not leaving earlier.

chkmeowt · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

sarahbear31 said:

You're so lucky to have learned such a valuable life lesson so early! SO many women are taught that you should let a man beat the shit out of you.

Well, it happens every day. So somewhere the same lesson must not be getting taught? Or, because there are so many women who do stay it teaches future generations it's normal. Which it is not. Obviously.

So yea, I'd say I'm pretty damn lucky. If more little girls were taught that zero tolerance for this shit is the only option, I'd be willing to say after a few generations these "cycles of violence" would peter out. Because who'd be getting abused and who'd be doing the abusing? Very few people that's who.

I know several women who have been the victims of domestic violence. I know their families and these are no-nonsense women. I can almost guarantee you that they were also raised with zero tolerance for that crap. But it still happened.

Both of these women were ashamed that it happened to them. They, too, had been raised not to tolerate shit. They probably thought it wouldn't happen to them. And when it did, they were embarrassed. It was hard for them to admit what was going on. Z

Whether it's the first time or twentieth time a woman is abused, NOBODY deserves to be shamed into somehow thinking it was her fault for not leaving earlier.

QFT

mrs4everhart · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

sarahbear31 said:

You're so lucky to have learned such a valuable life lesson so early! SO many women are taught that you should let a man beat the shit out of you.

Well, it happens every day. So somewhere the same lesson must not be getting taught? Or, because there are so many women who do stay it teaches future generations it's normal. Which it is not. Obviously.

So yea, I'd say I'm pretty damn lucky. If more little girls were taught that zero tolerance for this shit is the only option, I'd be willing to say after a few generations these "cycles of violence" would peter out. Because who'd be getting abused and who'd be doing the abusing? Very few people that's who.

I know several women who have been the victims of domestic violence. I know their families and these are no-nonsense women. I can almost guarantee you that they were also raised with zero tolerance for that crap. But it still happened.

Both of these women were ashamed that it happened to them. They, too, had been raised not to tolerate shit. They probably thought it wouldn't happen to them. And when it did, they were embarrassed. It was hard for them to admit what was going on. Z

Whether it's the first time or twentieth time a woman is abused, NOBODY deserves to be shamed into somehow thinking it was her fault for not leaving earlier.

And what caused them to stop being embarrassed and leave? I imagine they were still embarrassed when they finally left, so what was the difference?

If we teach girls that you shut this shit down the first time, there needn't be times 2 - ????. Then we mitigate so much of this abuse.

beethery · September 2014

I have secondhand embarrassment right now. I am cringing right down to my very DNA.

Shit is absolutely shameful. How it could even hit the first wall of 'nooooo maybe shouldn't say this' in your brain and get a pass is fucking beyond me. KNOWING good and well that this community isn't down with victim-blaming because that shit is wrong.

Lying, and victim-blaming. Fuck's sake. Go find some neckbeard-havin' fedora-wearin' women-hating fake-ass nice guys and realize that they are your fucking people. Shameful as hell. Have fun with that. STB you done fucked up.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

sarahbear31 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

sarahbear31 said:

You're so lucky to have learned such a valuable life lesson so early! SO many women are taught that you should let a man beat the shit out of you.

Well, it happens every day. So somewhere the same lesson must not be getting taught? Or, because there are so many women who do stay it teaches future generations it's normal. Which it is not. Obviously.

So yea, I'd say I'm pretty damn lucky. If more little girls were taught that zero tolerance for this shit is the only option, I'd be willing to say after a few generations these "cycles of violence" would peter out. Because who'd be getting abused and who'd be doing the abusing? Very few people that's who.

I know several women who have been the victims of domestic violence. I know their families and these are no-nonsense women. I can almost guarantee you that they were also raised with zero tolerance for that crap. But it still happened.

Both of these women were ashamed that it happened to them. They, too, had been raised not to tolerate shit. They probably thought it wouldn't happen to them. And when it did, they were embarrassed. It was hard for them to admit what was going on. Z

Whether it's the first time or twentieth time a woman is abused, NOBODY deserves to be shamed into somehow thinking it was her fault for not leaving earlier.

And what caused them to stop being embarrassed and leave? I imagine they were still embarrassed when they finally left, so what was the difference?

If we teach girls that you shut this shit down the first time, there needn't be times 2 - ????. Then we mitigate so much of this abuse.

Both of them needed interventions. Family / friends saw the warning signs and staged interventions.

Inkdancer · September 2014

debmonn said:

sarahbear31 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

sarahbear31 said:

You're so lucky to have learned such a valuable life lesson so early! SO many women are taught that you should let a man beat the shit out of you.

Well, it happens every day. So somewhere the same lesson must not be getting taught? Or, because there are so many women who do stay it teaches future generations it's normal. Which it is not. Obviously.

So yea, I'd say I'm pretty damn lucky. If more little girls were taught that zero tolerance for this shit is the only option, I'd be willing to say after a few generations these "cycles of violence" would peter out. Because who'd be getting abused and who'd be doing the abusing? Very few people that's who.

I know several women who have been the victims of domestic violence. I know their families and these are no-nonsense women. I can almost guarantee you that they were also raised with zero tolerance for that crap. But it still happened.

Both of these women were ashamed that it happened to them. They, too, had been raised not to tolerate shit. They probably thought it wouldn't happen to them. And when it did, they were embarrassed. It was hard for them to admit what was going on. Z

Whether it's the first time or twentieth time a woman is abused, NOBODY deserves to be shamed into somehow thinking it was her fault for not leaving earlier.

QFT

Most women who are abused don't start out in an abusive relationship. What happened to Senecaf is unusual. Instead, your partner grows that way over time.

My abuser started out just pushing boundaries. Asking me to do things so sexually that I wasn't ready for, because he loved me and it would make him happy. It went further and further. He never hit me but he abused me emotionally and sexually, in ways that nobody would ever see. And then when I left him, it didn't stop. He raped me in my now-fiance's bed, because he was sure that if I slept with him one more time I would see how much he loved me. And when I didn't see it that way, he convinced all our mutual friends that I was lying, that I cheated on FI with him and just regretted it. Destroyed every friendship I had because he needed to control me.

I don't know every woman's story. But I can tell you that it is a hell of a lot more complicated than just a fist to the face.

ashley8918 · September 2014

@Debmonn @Inkdancer

You beautiful, incredibly strong ladies, you! I admire you, and everyone else who has pulled themselves out of something like this. It is one of the hardest things that we will probably ever face in our lives, and we fucking made it. People like AlreadyMrsE can't even begin to imagine that kind of strength.

mrs4everhart · September 2014

beethery said:

I have secondhand embarrassment right now. I am cringing right down to my very DNA.

Shit is absolutely shameful. How it could even hit the first wall of 'nooooo maybe shouldn't say this' in your brain and get a pass is fucking beyond me. KNOWING good and well that this community isn't down with victim-blaming because that shit is wrong.

Lying, and victim-blaming. Fuck's sake. Go find some neckbeard-havin' fedora-wearin' women-hating fake-ass nice guys and realize that they are your fucking people. Shameful as hell. Have fun with that. STB you done fucked up.

SITBA*******************************

Neck beards? That's a thing? And who are these women hating, fedora wearing fake nice guys? Not sure I'm familiar. They sound awful though, so I hope to avoid them at all costs!

"My people" admittedly are an eclectic group. It's always been that way. But I don't think any of them own a fedora. Christ, I hope not.

I haven't fucked up a damn thing, thanks! I stand by my beliefs, even when they aren't popular. And "my people" know that about me. So if they're "my people" they're clearly down.

As for how I can say what's on my mind? It's ingrained in me - good or bad. Luckily, it's one of my favorite things about me and Mr. E is the same way, so it works so well 'round here!

Fran1985 · September 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Frankly I don't care if he was fired or not. The NFL has such screwed up priorities. Michael Vick tortured and killed animals, he's got a job. Ray Rice's fiancee married the guy a month later. If she's obviously okay with his behavior, why should the NFL be so upset? Ain't sayyin' she a gold digger.........

If you can keep your job with an organization after torturing innocent animals (and sure, "paying your debt to society") maybe Ray should go to jail for a while and get his job back? Least then there will be gold for her to dig. As it is now she sold her dignity for a guy with no job. I'm curious to see just how long it'll take her to "come to her senses" <side eye>.

This is one of the more shocking and disgusting NWR things I've ever read on TK.

Why because I'm more disgusted that Michael Vick still has a job than whether or not Ray Rice does? Humans have free will. Animals do not. Ray Rice's fiancee could have had him arrested. She didn't. Instead she married him. Animals have no free will. They are subjected to whatever humans do to them, good or bad. The NFL gave a sick scumbag who tortures animals for a good time and profit his job back. If there's anything shocking, sick, or disgusting it's that.

They can just run away. Animals were born to run. They aren't stupid- they can recognize different people. They should just run away from the bad ones. If they don't after their first time, its really their own fault isn't it.

Does that sound fucked up and awful? Because it was supposed to. Besides your fucked up victim blaming, what I really find baffling is the idea that you need to "save your sympathy for the animals." I think what Michael Vick did was horrid. I feel terrible for those dogs. I also think what Ray Rice did was horrid. I feel terrible for his wife. Do you have a limited quantity of sympathy that you can't go over?

mrs4everhart · September 2014

Fran1985 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Frankly I don't care if he was fired or not. The NFL has such screwed up priorities. Michael Vick tortured and killed animals, he's got a job. Ray Rice's fiancee married the guy a month later. If she's obviously okay with his behavior, why should the NFL be so upset? Ain't sayyin' she a gold digger.........

If you can keep your job with an organization after torturing innocent animals (and sure, "paying your debt to society") maybe Ray should go to jail for a while and get his job back? Least then there will be gold for her to dig. As it is now she sold her dignity for a guy with no job. I'm curious to see just how long it'll take her to "come to her senses" <side eye>.

This is one of the more shocking and disgusting NWR things I've ever read on TK.

Why because I'm more disgusted that Michael Vick still has a job than whether or not Ray Rice does? Humans have free will. Animals do not. Ray Rice's fiancee could have had him arrested. She didn't. Instead she married him. Animals have no free will. They are subjected to whatever humans do to them, good or bad. The NFL gave a sick scumbag who tortures animals for a good time and profit his job back. If there's anything shocking, sick, or disgusting it's that.

They can just run away. Animals were born to run. They aren't stupid- they can recognize different people. They should just run away from the bad ones. If they don't after their first time, its really their own fault isn't it.

Does that sound fucked up and awful? Because it was supposed to. Besides your fucked up victim blaming, what I really find baffling is the idea that you need to "save your sympathy for the animals." I think what Michael Vick did was horrid. I feel terrible for those dogs. I also think what Ray Rice did was horrid. I feel terrible for his wife. Do you have a limited quantity of sympathy that you can't go over?

That was the single worst analogy, maybe ever. Fighting dogs are generally chained or tethered to their squalid living conditions. I'm sure if they could escape, many would. But dogs don't have cognitive reasoning. Sadly, their unending loyalty breaks my heart because they will obey a horrible, cruel master regardless. Humans do not have to. Unless of course they are chained or tethered to their squalid living condition. And in which case I would feel awful for them, yes. Otherwise, exercising that free will thing, they have options. They might not like their options, but they have them, unlike dogs. Yes, I have a limited amount of sympathy. I save it for those who cannot help themselves. I save it for those who have no options. I have a limited amount of patience too. Its like that one girl with the porn-addicted FI. How many people have been all: DTMFA!! Over and over and over? And then she's all: But. But.But. Same thing, different poison. I'm not saying there aren't some real psychos out there. But for the most part the kind of scumbag who likes to smack around women isn't the Lifetime-movie, break in and do something crazy types. They're cowards who need to control. Handing over your free will to some asshole to control is a damn shame. When so many women the world over really are held at gun point and would give their left arm for a bit of free will. Whatever sympathy I have left, I'll save for them.

Edited: there were paragraphs. Now there's not.

beethery · September 2014

I ran out of Girl Bye for the month and it ain't even the tenth.

Sugargirl1019 · September 2014

But so many precious animals are NOT chained, but still beaten, starved. The animal stays with the owner, and even continues to try to snuggle. They think they have done something wrong, and try harder to be a "good animal".

Are you going to bring out the same crap for these innocent animals? They love their owner. It is not similar but at the same time similar to domestic violence. Women love their SO, and it is ingrained in our nature to try and fix and please and make things better so the relationship can be saved.

And you overstepped (again) mentioning Doey. Do not talk about her the way you did.

Fran1985 · September 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

Fran1985 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Frankly I don't care if he was fired or not. The NFL has such screwed up priorities. Michael Vick tortured and killed animals, he's got a job. Ray Rice's fiancee married the guy a month later. If she's obviously okay with his behavior, why should the NFL be so upset? Ain't sayyin' she a gold digger.........

If you can keep your job with an organization after torturing innocent animals (and sure, "paying your debt to society") maybe Ray should go to jail for a while and get his job back? Least then there will be gold for her to dig. As it is now she sold her dignity for a guy with no job. I'm curious to see just how long it'll take her to "come to her senses" <side eye>.

This is one of the more shocking and disgusting NWR things I've ever read on TK.

Why because I'm more disgusted that Michael Vick still has a job than whether or not Ray Rice does? Humans have free will. Animals do not. Ray Rice's fiancee could have had him arrested. She didn't. Instead she married him. Animals have no free will. They are subjected to whatever humans do to them, good or bad. The NFL gave a sick scumbag who tortures animals for a good time and profit his job back. If there's anything shocking, sick, or disgusting it's that.

They can just run away. Animals were born to run. They aren't stupid- they can recognize different people. They should just run away from the bad ones. If they don't after their first time, its really their own fault isn't it.

Does that sound fucked up and awful? Because it was supposed to. Besides your fucked up victim blaming, what I really find baffling is the idea that you need to "save your sympathy for the animals." I think what Michael Vick did was horrid. I feel terrible for those dogs. I also think what Ray Rice did was horrid. I feel terrible for his wife. Do you have a limited quantity of sympathy that you can't go over?

That was the single worst analogy, maybe ever. Fighting dogs are generally chained or tethered to their squalid living conditions. I'm sure if they could escape, many would. But dogs don't have cognitive reasoning. Sadly, their unending loyalty breaks my heart because they will obey a horrible, cruel master regardless. Humans do not have to. Unless of course they are chained or tethered to their squalid living condition. And in which case I would feel awful for them, yes. Otherwise, exercising that free will thing, they have options. They might not like their options, but they have them, unlike dogs. Yes, I have a limited amount of sympathy. I save it for those who cannot help themselves. I save it for those who have no options. I have a limited amount of patience too. Its like that one girl with the porn-addicted FI. How many people have been all: DTMFA!! Over and over and over? And then she's all: But. But.But. Same thing, different poison. I'm not saying there aren't some real psychos out there. But for the most part the kind of scumbag who likes to smack around women isn't the Lifetime-movie, break in and do something crazy types. They're cowards who need to control. Handing over your free will to some asshole to control is a damn shame. When so many women the world over really are held at gun point and would give their left arm for a bit of free will. Whatever sympathy I have left, I'll save for them.

Edited: there were paragraphs. Now there's not.

They could bite them. Animals have teeth, they could bite their owners. they could attack their owners. They have the physical tools. And actually a lot of fighting dogs are kept in pretty decent conditions. Fed the best food, kept as a reflection of the owner. People who fight dogs have them as a status symbol- a status symbol is a big ass strong looking pit, not a raggedy one. So the analogy is pretty apt. Its just fucked up. Because what you are saying is fucked up.

Also, if you believe that what has kept you from an abusive relationship is that you were taught to stand up for yourself, which I disagree with but let's say for the sake of argument that its true. And like you say, you were taught to stand up for yourself from a young age. Well then aren't you blessed. Truly, that is a beautiful thing. But saying that because someone else wasn't you have no sympathy for them strikes me as cruel. Its like if your parents taught you french at a young age, and you look at others struggling to learn it when they are older and its statistically harder to learn, and instead of thinking "gosh aren't I lucky, aren't I fortunate that I was taught young" you sneer at them. You taunt them and you say how stupid they are. Its great that you don't see yourself ever being in an abusive relationship. I don't see myself ever being in one either, but I certainly for feel for those that are, and my heart breaks for them.

mrs4everhart · September 2014

Sugargirl1019 said:

But so many precious animals are NOT chained, but still beaten, starved. The animal stays with the owner, and even continues to try to snuggle. They think they have done something wrong, and try harder to be a "good animal". Are you going to bring out the same crap for these innocent animals? They love their owner. It is not similar but at the same time similar to domestic violence. Women love their SO, and it is ingrained in our nature to try and fix and please and make things better so the relationship can be saved. And you overstepped (again) mentioning Doey. Do not talk about her the way you did.

Still in the box.***************************************************************************

Again, animals are not humans. Humans have free will. Animals do not. Animals do not have reasoning ability. I would think this is obvious.

The only thing I'd like to bring out for anyone who abuses an animal is my shotgun. Past that, I have nothing.

Speak for yourself, but do not speak for all womankind. It is not ingrained in all of us to try to fix, please, or make things better. Particularly with an abusive shithead.

I'll speak of anyone however I please. She proved my point for me, another post just this evening, more advice needed, all anyone has is GET OUT. Like I said, just a different poison. It's the same shit, different day. Same eventual conclusion = leave if you decide being treated like shit isn't okay. How someone is treated like shit is kind of irrelevant really.

mrs4everhart · September 2014

Fran1985 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Fran1985 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Frankly I don't care if he was fired or not. The NFL has such screwed up priorities. Michael Vick tortured and killed animals, he's got a job. Ray Rice's fiancee married the guy a month later. If she's obviously okay with his behavior, why should the NFL be so upset? Ain't sayyin' she a gold digger.........

If you can keep your job with an organization after torturing innocent animals (and sure, "paying your debt to society") maybe Ray should go to jail for a while and get his job back? Least then there will be gold for her to dig. As it is now she sold her dignity for a guy with no job. I'm curious to see just how long it'll take her to "come to her senses" <side eye>.

This is one of the more shocking and disgusting NWR things I've ever read on TK.

Why because I'm more disgusted that Michael Vick still has a job than whether or not Ray Rice does? Humans have free will. Animals do not. Ray Rice's fiancee could have had him arrested. She didn't. Instead she married him. Animals have no free will. They are subjected to whatever humans do to them, good or bad. The NFL gave a sick scumbag who tortures animals for a good time and profit his job back. If there's anything shocking, sick, or disgusting it's that.

They can just run away. Animals were born to run. They aren't stupid- they can recognize different people. They should just run away from the bad ones. If they don't after their first time, its really their own fault isn't it.

Does that sound fucked up and awful? Because it was supposed to. Besides your fucked up victim blaming, what I really find baffling is the idea that you need to "save your sympathy for the animals." I think what Michael Vick did was horrid. I feel terrible for those dogs. I also think what Ray Rice did was horrid. I feel terrible for his wife. Do you have a limited quantity of sympathy that you can't go over?

That was the single worst analogy, maybe ever. Fighting dogs are generally chained or tethered to their squalid living conditions. I'm sure if they could escape, many would. But dogs don't have cognitive reasoning. Sadly, their unending loyalty breaks my heart because they will obey a horrible, cruel master regardless. Humans do not have to. Unless of course they are chained or tethered to their squalid living condition. And in which case I would feel awful for them, yes. Otherwise, exercising that free will thing, they have options. They might not like their options, but they have them, unlike dogs. Yes, I have a limited amount of sympathy. I save it for those who cannot help themselves. I save it for those who have no options. I have a limited amount of patience too. Its like that one girl with the porn-addicted FI. How many people have been all: DTMFA!! Over and over and over? And then she's all: But. But.But. Same thing, different poison. I'm not saying there aren't some real psychos out there. But for the most part the kind of scumbag who likes to smack around women isn't the Lifetime-movie, break in and do something crazy types. They're cowards who need to control. Handing over your free will to some asshole to control is a damn shame. When so many women the world over really are held at gun point and would give their left arm for a bit of free will. Whatever sympathy I have left, I'll save for them.

Edited: there were paragraphs. Now there's not.

They could bite them. Animals have teeth, they could bite their owners. they could attack their owners. They have the physical tools. And actually a lot of fighting dogs are kept in pretty decent conditions. Fed the best food, kept as a reflection of the owner. People who fight dogs have them as a status symbol- a status symbol is a big ass strong looking pit, not a raggedy one. So the analogy is pretty apt. Its just fucked up. Because what you are saying is fucked up.

Also, if you believe that what has kept you from an abusive relationship is that you were taught to stand up for yourself, which I disagree with but let's say for the sake of argument that its true. And like you say, you were taught to stand up for yourself from a young age. Well then aren't you blessed. Truly, that is a beautiful thing. But saying that because someone else wasn't you have no sympathy for them strikes me as cruel. Its like if your parents taught you french at a young age, and you look at others struggling to learn it when they are older and its statistically harder to learn, and instead of thinking "gosh aren't I lucky, aren't I fortunate that I was taught young" you sneer at them. You taunt them and you say how stupid they are. Its great that you don't see yourself ever being in an abusive relationship. I don't see myself ever being in one either, but I certainly for feel for those that are, and my heart breaks for them.

Stop trying to make the abused dog / abused woman analogy happen. It's just not going to.

This has nothing to do with sneering at abused women and everything to do with the fact that there are few instances where someone can take your power from you against your will. Again: fuck me once = your fault. Fuck me again = my own.

I'm not sure what in the hell basis you have to agree or disagree about what has kept me from abusive relationships. Frankly, I'm pretty sure it's probably my bad attitude. I don't think abusive types are terribly attracted to me. I'd be a challenge that's for sure. Trying to control me would be damn near impossible without a rag and some ether. These types of guys rarely like women who fight back.

That is a sad thing. But my supply of sympathy isn't unending. At some point, I have to apply it where I think it's needed most.

natswild · September 2014

why, TK, why will you not let me have paragraphs?------------------------------------------------- What you are saying, AlreadyMrsE is so many shades of fucked up, I . can't . even . You really need to shut your trap and leave, it's gotten to the point where you are beyond obnoxious. Since you obviously have never been in an abusive relationship the way some of us have, you need to shut . the . fuck . up! I really don't appreciate the attitude and victim shaming that you're indulging in here, and it is really pissing me off! I don't generally get involved in these threads, but god, your ignorant attitude totally disgusts me! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My experience as an adult was to fall for a very handsome, charming bodybuilder. I moved in with him after a couple of months, and he was very charming. Not so charming when he would get drunk and threaten me. Not so charming when he hit me so hard that the bruise stayed on my leg for two weeks (and he bragged about it at the gym, in the whirlpool-the other people were tremendously disgusted with him). And especially not charming when his ex and I confronted him about him abusing her daughter-that ended 12 hours later with him threatening to kill me, and I went back a few hours after that with my parents to get my stuff and move out. He insisted on the phone that I come alone, and I guarantee you that if I had, I would have died that night. The only good thing that came out of that was that he called the cops, saying that he wouldn't be responsible for what happened if my parents didn't leave, and they came, and arrested him. He spent 6 months in prison for that. I found out while he was in prison that I was the 4th girlfriend that he tried to kill, and he tried to kill at least one more girlfriend that I know of after he got out of prison. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My point is that prior to being in this relationship, I couldn't see why women simply wouldn't leave, but after, I know very well. I spent 17 years single to try to get over the way he fucked my psyche over, and over the horrible sexual abuse I endured as a child. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Each of us beautiful women are survivors, and deserve to be treated with respect!

Fran1985 · September 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

Fran1985 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Fran1985 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Frankly I don't care if he was fired or not. The NFL has such screwed up priorities. Michael Vick tortured and killed animals, he's got a job. Ray Rice's fiancee married the guy a month later. If she's obviously okay with his behavior, why should the NFL be so upset? Ain't sayyin' she a gold digger.........

If you can keep your job with an organization after torturing innocent animals (and sure, "paying your debt to society") maybe Ray should go to jail for a while and get his job back? Least then there will be gold for her to dig. As it is now she sold her dignity for a guy with no job. I'm curious to see just how long it'll take her to "come to her senses" <side eye>.

This is one of the more shocking and disgusting NWR things I've ever read on TK.

Why because I'm more disgusted that Michael Vick still has a job than whether or not Ray Rice does? Humans have free will. Animals do not. Ray Rice's fiancee could have had him arrested. She didn't. Instead she married him. Animals have no free will. They are subjected to whatever humans do to them, good or bad. The NFL gave a sick scumbag who tortures animals for a good time and profit his job back. If there's anything shocking, sick, or disgusting it's that.

They can just run away. Animals were born to run. They aren't stupid- they can recognize different people. They should just run away from the bad ones. If they don't after their first time, its really their own fault isn't it.

Does that sound fucked up and awful? Because it was supposed to. Besides your fucked up victim blaming, what I really find baffling is the idea that you need to "save your sympathy for the animals." I think what Michael Vick did was horrid. I feel terrible for those dogs. I also think what Ray Rice did was horrid. I feel terrible for his wife. Do you have a limited quantity of sympathy that you can't go over?

That was the single worst analogy, maybe ever. Fighting dogs are generally chained or tethered to their squalid living conditions. I'm sure if they could escape, many would. But dogs don't have cognitive reasoning. Sadly, their unending loyalty breaks my heart because they will obey a horrible, cruel master regardless. Humans do not have to. Unless of course they are chained or tethered to their squalid living condition. And in which case I would feel awful for them, yes. Otherwise, exercising that free will thing, they have options. They might not like their options, but they have them, unlike dogs. Yes, I have a limited amount of sympathy. I save it for those who cannot help themselves. I save it for those who have no options. I have a limited amount of patience too. Its like that one girl with the porn-addicted FI. How many people have been all: DTMFA!! Over and over and over? And then she's all: But. But.But. Same thing, different poison. I'm not saying there aren't some real psychos out there. But for the most part the kind of scumbag who likes to smack around women isn't the Lifetime-movie, break in and do something crazy types. They're cowards who need to control. Handing over your free will to some asshole to control is a damn shame. When so many women the world over really are held at gun point and would give their left arm for a bit of free will. Whatever sympathy I have left, I'll save for them.

Edited: there were paragraphs. Now there's not.

They could bite them. Animals have teeth, they could bite their owners. they could attack their owners. They have the physical tools. And actually a lot of fighting dogs are kept in pretty decent conditions. Fed the best food, kept as a reflection of the owner. People who fight dogs have them as a status symbol- a status symbol is a big ass strong looking pit, not a raggedy one. So the analogy is pretty apt. Its just fucked up. Because what you are saying is fucked up.

Also, if you believe that what has kept you from an abusive relationship is that you were taught to stand up for yourself, which I disagree with but let's say for the sake of argument that its true. And like you say, you were taught to stand up for yourself from a young age. Well then aren't you blessed. Truly, that is a beautiful thing. But saying that because someone else wasn't you have no sympathy for them strikes me as cruel. Its like if your parents taught you french at a young age, and you look at others struggling to learn it when they are older and its statistically harder to learn, and instead of thinking "gosh aren't I lucky, aren't I fortunate that I was taught young" you sneer at them. You taunt them and you say how stupid they are. Its great that you don't see yourself ever being in an abusive relationship. I don't see myself ever being in one either, but I certainly for feel for those that are, and my heart breaks for them.

Stop trying to make the abused dog / abused woman analogy happen. It's just not going to.

This has nothing to do with sneering at abused women and everything to do with the fact that there are few instances where someone can take your power from you against your will. Again: fuck me once = your fault. Fuck me again = my own.

I'm not sure what in the hell basis you have to agree or disagree about what has kept me from abusive relationships. Frankly, I'm pretty sure it's probably my bad attitude. I don't think abusive types are terribly attracted to me. I'd be a challenge that's for sure. Trying to control me would be damn near impossible without a rag and some ether. These types of guys rarely like women who fight back.

That is a sad thing. But my supply of sympathy isn't unending. At some point, I have to apply it where I think it's needed most.

SITB- I am disagreeing with the general principle that education alone prevents abuse- not about you in particular

themuffinman16 · September 2014

STB, I can understand your disgust with Michael Vick still in the NFL, but why do you only have to choose one thing that is repulsive, and think the other must be comparatively okay. Domestic violence and violence against animals are both disgusting acts we, as a society, should not tolerate it

The proper thing to say is "Kudos NFL for FINALLY taking a stand against domestic violence. I wish they would also address and not tolerate abuse against animals." Would it kill you to be disgusted by both crimes. And if you aren't, through the testimony of so many strong women, can you just STHU. these women are fighters. Sometimes, it takes a woman a little time to realize she is worth so much more and that she has the strength to fight for her life.

climbingsingle · September 2014

STBMrsEverhart You are a vile person.

I was physically abused by my first boyfriend. You have no idea what it's like to be terrified of a person you're actually in love with. He punched me, he slapped me, kicked me. One day, he choked me so hard on his bed, I truly believed he was going to kill me. And any time I broke up with him, he went insane. He would stalk me, call me constantly. One time, he even attacked my friends as they were trying to drive me away from him.

And after every time he abused me, he begged for my forgiveness. He promised me he wouldn't hurt me again. He told me he loved me and couldn't live without me. And I believed him. Because I loved him and I wanted to believe the best in him.

I had no self esteem. I hated myself. And I thought this was what I deserved. Only until I got myself into therapy was I able to leave him for good.

You clearly have no idea what it's like to go through this kind of abuse. So shut the fuck up about it.

And I agree that Michael Vick is a disgusting person and should have been banned by the NFL too. But your stance on domestic violence against women is seriously disturbing.

KatieinBkln · September 2014

People who do not understand (or can't be bothered to educate themselves) about the abused psyche would be better served shutting the fuck up, but of course now that the PPD thread is locked AlreadyMrsE has nowhere to bounce around, so she got bored and decided to shoot her mouth off on a sensitive topic. But, just for kicks: Just as you would not tell a person with a broken arm to suck it up and lift something heavy, you can't always tell an abused person to "stick up for themselves and leave." Because their ability to see their situation clearly and act in a rational manner HAS BEEN DAMAGED. They actually cannot do the thing that you wish they would do. It's frustrating as hell, yes. It's upsetting, true. It is not, however, and never will be, THEIR FAULT. Adults have free will, yes. But they also have psyches, which, when broken down and abused, prevent them from behaving in ways that are self-preserving, or even logical to the outside eye. If someone walked up to me and hit me, you can bet I'd be OUT of that situation faster than you could blink. But that's not how DV works. Typically, the mental abuse happens continually and for a very long time before the first strike. By the time she's hit, she may very well think she deserves it. She may not think she can do any better. She may be too afraid that she'll be murdered (and yes, statistically women are most likely to be murdered by a violent partner when they try to leave him). The shit above should make any decent person SAD and ANGRY about abuse, not at the person BEING abused! We should be furious that our society creates spaces for women's self esteem to be eroded and for men to turn to violence and rage rather than cultivating kindness and gentleness. We should be miserable that abuse IS such a vicious cycle, and that the reasons women stay, while they are objectively "bad" in the long run, make sense viewed through the lens of their own terror (you could even call it "their own truth" if you wanted to...). ETA: trying out paragraphs, we'll see.

sarawifenow · September 2014

I have read, seen, and been in some disgusting situations in my life. My ex put me in the hospital multiple times. @STBMrsEverhart, you should be ashamed of yourself. I cannot believe you said the things you did in this thread.

raissyrais · September 2014

JCbride2015 said:

Repulsive.

I had a whole reply typed up but I realized it would probably get me banned.

You ain't going nowhere. Stay right here. Let the troll have it.

JCbride2015 · September 2014

raissyrais said:

JCbride2015 said:

Repulsive.

I had a whole reply typed up but I realized it would probably get me banned.

You ain't going nowhere. Stay right here. Let the troll have it.

Yeah, I do actually want to stick around.

sophhabobopha · September 2014

I was in two abusive relationships. Apparently Mrs. E, you think I'm stupid and weak. The truth is much to the contrary. I'm brilliant, kind, smart, and funny. What they did was in no way my fault and I'm not a bad person for staying.

By the way, my mother has similar (although less awful and disgusting) feelings to you. I heard her say that DV victims are weak, and it still happened to me. Except I was too scared of being judged to ask for help.

emmaaa · September 2014

Before you want to pass judegement (which you already have) @STBMrsEverhart, read this: http://mic.com/articles/98326/19-why-istayed-tweets-that-everyone-needs-to-see?utm_source=policymicFB&utm_medium=main&utm_campaign=social

Abuse is not always cut and dry, black and white.

doeydo · September 2014

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/09/09/3564896/janay-rice-cycle-abuse/

hellosweetie1015 · September 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

But so many precious animals are NOT chained, but still beaten, starved. The animal stays with the owner, and even continues to try to snuggle. They think they have done something wrong, and try harder to be a "good animal". Are you going to bring out the same crap for these innocent animals? They love their owner. It is not similar but at the same time similar to domestic violence. Women love their SO, and it is ingrained in our nature to try and fix and please and make things better so the relationship can be saved. And you overstepped (again) mentioning Doey. Do not talk about her the way you did.

Still in the box.***************************************************************************

Again, animals are not humans. Humans have free will. Animals do not. Animals do not have reasoning ability. I would think this is obvious.

The only thing I'd like to bring out for anyone who abuses an animal is my shotgun. Past that, I have nothing.

Speak for yourself, but do not speak for all womankind. It is not ingrained in all of us to try to fix, please, or make things better. Particularly with an abusive shithead.

I'll speak of anyone however I please. She proved my point for me, another post just this evening, more advice needed, all anyone has is GET OUT. Like I said, just a different poison. It's the same shit, different day. Same eventual conclusion = leave if you decide being treated like shit isn't okay. How someone is treated like shit is kind of irrelevant really.

You are making me so, so, SO ragey right now. I think that calling Doey out is a TOS violation (1. Remember the Human), and I'm paging @knotporscha and @lyndausvi so that they can look further into it. Because essentially, what you're saying is that she is dumb and deserves the treatment she (and every other wo/man who is still in an abusive relationship) is getting. I am going to go head on against you about that. She does not deserve the treatment she's receiving (nor does anyone else), and you implying that she does makes me so angry I can't see straight. You are victim-blaming, victim-shaming, and perpetuating absolutely HORRID beliefs that do NOTHING to resolve the problem. I cannot stress enough the damage you are doing.

Please, please, for the love of all that is holy and good in this world, look into that thought process and rather than a nameless, faceless person in the situation, place your mother, your sister, your brother, your best friend, or your husband in it instead. Would you want to see your best friend in that situation, knowing how you felt and that she could not turn to you?

No one deserves abuse. Not one soul on this planet deserves to be told that s/he is dumb, that no on cares about her/him, that s/he deserves the treatment they are receiving from their loved ones. Nobody on this planet deserves to be demeaned and made to feel worthless or unloved. NO ONE deserves to be abused.

JCbride2015 · September 2014

http://mic.com/articles/98326/19-why-istayed-tweets-that-everyone-needs-to-see

Douche -B finally got what was coming to him

Re: Douche -B finally got what was coming to him

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