My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, and we're broke. My entire family (whom I am close with) all live 10 hours away, so the venue we are looking at has farm houses and cottages that would be at our disposal all weekend to accommodate my family so they wouldnt need to worry about a hotel. Since we are expecting about 200 to attend, the catering bill would be huge. So, we were considering having a potluck wedding? We would buy the main dish (chicken, fish, w/e) and anyone who would like to bring a side dish instead of a card/gift/$ is welcome to. My mom and sister think it's tacky and unaccetable, but my fiance's cousins say that it is a great idea and his side of the family would love to help. A potluck wedding isnt my ideal situation, but hey, at least we know all the food would be good. My mom and sister suggested we do a friday appetizer and cocktail wedding or a sunday brunch because they are cheaper, but I dont want to do that because NONE of my family would come.. and it's really important to me that at least some of them be there. I don't want to be surrounded by my fiance's family on my wedding day and all of them question where my people are.. plus that would make me feel really shitty to not have anyone there anyway. So, what do you think? Is the potluck tacky or acceptable?
JUST TO CLARIFY: No, we will not be asking EVERYONE to bring something, just a few local family members (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc) who have a dish they have been cooking for every event to make it for our wedding and we would be buying the groceries. The farm will accommodate MY out of town family for the whole weekend, which is about 40 people. Fiance and I will be purchasing drinks, dessert and (since my fiance is a chef who previously owned his own catering company) will be preparing the main course and appetizers. He doesnt want to cook all of the food because it;s only him and he wants to enjoy his wedding. So, after further explaining the situation, is it still as tacky as an actual "potluck" wedding?