Where are my child-free by choice ladies?

princessofgenovia · November 2014

buttercup1958 said:

I wasn't being closed minded. The career she has told me she wants wouldn't all her to be a stay at home mom. She would be working long hours, over a long period of time. Sometimes she will be called in at 3 am. I hope it works out for her and her boyfriend. I think it will be more likely for him to be at the stay at home parent. In our field in applied geology it takes years of work to get in the office environment of applied geology. You have to pay your dues before then by working really crappy hours, in not so nice weather ect. I realize that many people can balance work and family. I know my views are unpopular. My parents have helped me a lot money wise but they were able to do it because they did put their careers before home life for a long time. I just don't have much experience of a good balance. So I do realize that I can't speak for everyone, just my viewpoint.

Just because you're a mom doesn't mean you have to be a SAHM. Maybe her boyfriend will be a SAHD. Or maybe the kid will go to daycare.

I haven't decided if I do or don't want kids yet, but I don't think I could hack it as a SAHM. Good luck and god bless to those that do, but no I'd be crawling up the walls. So either FI will be a SAHD or our potential offspring will go to daycare.

LadyMillil · November 2014

buttercup1958 said:

I wasn't being closed minded. The career she has told me she wants wouldn't all her to be a stay at home mom. She would be working long hours, over a long period of time. Sometimes she will be called in at 3 am. I hope it works out for her and her boyfriend. I think it will be more likely for him to be at the stay at home parent. In our field in applied geology it takes years of work to get in the office environment of applied geology. You have to pay your dues before then by working really crappy hours, in not so nice weather ect. I realize that many people can balance work and family. I know my views are unpopular. My parents have helped me a lot money wise but they were able to do it because they did put their careers before home life for a long time. I just don't have much experience of a good balance. So I do realize that I can't speak for everyone, just my viewpoint.

There are a lot of fields where you need to pay your dues. It doesn't mean you can't be a parent as well. By the time I graduate I will have spent 12 years doing post-secondary education. I will have an additional 3 years of post-doctoral training before I can apply for job positions. I work crappy hours now. I will work crappy hours then. Long days, weekends, holidays, last minute emergency call-ins, you name it, it will be a possibility for me. And, baring any reproductive issues, I will be doing this with a baby because that is what I want. I can do this because my DH is a wonderful man who completely supports my career, and who is willing to either be a SAHD or use some combination of creative scheduling and daycare/nanny. I have many female colleagues that balance successful careers with kids. I choose both and so do a lot of other women.

buttercup1958 · November 2014

I honestly think the boyfriend would be a stay at home dad in this situation. And it really sounds like you have a handle this situation and I'm really impressed. This isn't sarcasm, not sure if it sounds like it or not. I just don't think she has given it as much thought as you have. She is slightly irresponsible. Also her relationship doesn't seem as strong as yours is from what she tells me. But who knows. I'm most likely wrong in my ideas. I just hope she can handle field methods next spring. We will be outside from 12:30-5:30 every Tuesday no matter what the weather is.

I do realize a lot of fields have long hours and crappy situations surrounding them. Maybe it's because of my life experiences I think it's better for a kid when their parent is home for more than 2 hours. This is me talking about my experiences so I'm not accusing you that you won't ever be home. I also know that I'm young and I have a lot to learn too.

PrettyGirlLost · November 2014

pinkrevenge said:

kerbohl said:

@pinkrevenge Eating sushi while pregnant causes birth defects? Whaaaa?

You misunderstand. I had to stop eating sushi at 21 so that I wouldn't store all the mercury in my body and cause LATER birth defects. I had to prepare my body for future babies.

Oh good lord. The Japanese eat a fuckton of sushi, and loads of bluefin tuna when they can, and I don't think they have a higher percentage of birth defects. In fact their kids are usually very bright.

I would probably avoid sushi while pregnant, but not before or after. I love me some sushi, especially tuna.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

buttercup1958 · November 2014

I've tried sushi but I was never a fan. Plus last time I tried to use the chopsticks our waitress laughed at me..

beethery · November 2014

I had sushi Saturday... buuuuuuut FI is going on night shift this weekend and I think I'm gonna get a fucking ass-ton of sashimi.

Where are my child-free by choice ladies?

Re: Where are my child-free by choice ladies?

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