the Bump forums do not seem welcoming

jenna8984 · December 2014

So I ventured over to The Bump just to look around since we will start trying in a few months. On the "trying to get pregnant" board I noticed a few people do introductions in the past few days and the regs immediately told them to read THIS sticky, and then that's all the regs really said. They didn't ask fun questions about mayo preference or anything- GOD! I just found the link really overwhelming and condescending. Like it's basically saying "don't ask us stupid questions that we've been asked 100 times". It made me feel like I should already know all about ovulation charting and stuff otherwise I am incompetent. (Um, no, I don't know anything about that stuff yet) It also says right when you find out you're pregnant, move to the first trimester board. Like it's a fucking crime to stay on TTGP board.

I dunno, it just doesn't seem like a nice way to welcome people. Sure, we get people here constantly asking about the same things (kicking out maids, cash bar, potlucks, etc) but we don't freak out on these people for not lurking. We just tell them the answer and move on. Sometimes we even like it because it's a fun drama thread. I feel like if you're THAT sick of the same questions, then you should leave the damn board rather than control what new people ask, you know? So yea.....I think I'm scared away from asking anything over there!

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

Yeah that place is scary. I've heard that they don't like people staying on the TTGP board or saying anything about having gotten pregnant because it's depressing to the people who are having trouble... while I can understand that (and know I won't fully understand it until/unless I go through it), I also wonder how they get through real life where you can't tell pregnant women not to walk past you. :-/

lurkergirl · December 2014

Haven't we already established that we'll all just stay here when we're TTC/TTA/KU? TB is scary. But not as scary as how massively unproductive I've been today

holyguacamole79 · December 2014

Shit, I'm happy when I hear that people who are trying are able to conceive. It gives me hope.

misshart00 · December 2014

I stay on my month board. I don't venture to the rest of the bump.

jenna8984 · December 2014

lurkergirl said:

Haven't we already established that we'll all just stay here when we're TTC/TTA/KU?

TRUE STORY

WinstonsGirl · December 2014

I thought their newb question was "Which brand of fruit snacks do you feed your kid??" And then chaos ensues.

charlieyankee03 · December 2014

Can someone explain the mayo thing? Was I supposed to start a 'Hi there, ask me questions!' thread? Because i'll totally do it.

jenna8984 · December 2014

So since a few of you have been trying or recently pregnant.....how far in advance do you suggest stopping birth control pills? I have been on them for 11 years. Ideally with selling our house and work schedules, we want/ hope to conceive around September give or take. So I'm trying to figure out if I should stop the pill 6 months before that? 3 months before that?

misshart00 · December 2014

jenna8984 said:

So since a few of you have been trying or recently pregnant.....how far in advance do you suggest stopping birth control pills? I have been on them for 11 years. Ideally with selling our house and work schedules, we want/ hope to conceive around September give or take. So I'm trying to figure out if I should stop the pill 6 months before that? 3 months before that?

I stopped taking the pill in January 2013. I had heard it could take up to a year to get pregnant so we were hoping by summer. I got pregnant the next week. So, just be aware. (but I also got pregnant this time on the pill, so yeah.)

lurkergirl · December 2014

I don't take BC, so I can't help you there.

jenna8984 · December 2014

@charlieyankee03 There were a few threads a few months ago that started as something else then somehow morphed into a debate on eggs and mayo. Half the people love them and half the people hate them. So then we randomly just started asking new people their side.

charlieyankee03 · December 2014

I only like it on turkey sandwiches and in deviled eggs. FI makes homemade mayo usually though, so I'm less grossed out by it.

Sorry to thread jack!

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

jenna8984 said:
So since a few of you have been trying or recently pregnant.....how far in advance do you suggest stopping birth control pills? I have been on them for 11 years. Ideally with selling our house and work schedules, we want/ hope to conceive around September give or take. So I'm trying to figure out if I should stop the pill 6 months before that? 3 months before that?

Stop it now and start trying with me and @sarahufl.

:-D

jenna8984 · December 2014

@lolo883 When did you stop your bc? Or have you not yet?

LadyMillil · December 2014

According to my doctor you don't need to stop taking the pill until you are ready TTC. However, you may not ovulate the first month and if you get pregnant the first month it is difficult to figure out a due date because you don't know when you ovulated. It's really up to you. I'm going to stop taking the pill a month early but we won't be officially trying, just not avoiding, the first month.

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

jenna8984 said:
@lolo883 When did you stop your bc? Or have you not yet?

Yesterday. :-p

We're not actually starting to try until next month though likely (wah), because we want to get the CF screening and rubella antibody results back first. I'll likely need an MMR booster, and you're supposed to wait 4 weeks after getting that before getting KU. So you should check into those things before you go off the pill. This was the soonest I could get into the doc once I figured that out or I would have done it sooner.

My sister got pregnant the first month off the pill; it doesn't always take a long time. And I think a lot of people probably don't understand their cycle completely after coming off BC, so they're not timing sex right and inflating the perception of how long it takes to ovulate again. I definitely would have been one of those people if I wasn't reading that Taking Charge book.

jenna8984 · December 2014

Ok cool, I have my annual in February so I plan to ask the Dr. then because I don't even know about the booster and other stuff you mentioned.

I started reading that book last night and I'll be honest, I was bored out of my mind. I felt like the only relevant information was the waking temp stuff and I didn't even hit that until like page 75. I felt like all the crap leading up to it was kind of pointless. And I'm sorry but tracking the fluid....I've seen it for 15 years and it always looks the fucking same to me. I don't know how I'm supposed to tell milky from eggwhitey. lol

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

jenna8984 said:
Ok cool, I have my annual in February so I plan to ask the Dr. then because I don't even know about the booster and other stuff you mentioned.
I started reading that book last night and I'll be honest, I was bored out of my mind. I felt like the only relevant information was the waking temp stuff and I didn't even hit that until like page 75. I felt like all the crap leading up to it was kind of pointless. And I'm sorry but tracking the fluid....I've seen it for 15 years and it always looks the fucking same to me. I don't know how I'm supposed to tell milky from eggwhitey. lol

It would all be the same while you're on the pill, silly.

I'm sorry it's boring to you; I'm probably a giant nerd (or just highly uninformed. Probably both) but I found it fascinating.

holyguacamole79 · December 2014

lolo883 said:

jenna8984 said:
Ok cool, I have my annual in February so I plan to ask the Dr. then because I don't even know about the booster and other stuff you mentioned.
I started reading that book last night and I'll be honest, I was bored out of my mind. I felt like the only relevant information was the waking temp stuff and I didn't even hit that until like page 75. I felt like all the crap leading up to it was kind of pointless. And I'm sorry but tracking the fluid....I've seen it for 15 years and it always looks the fucking same to me. I don't know how I'm supposed to tell milky from eggwhitey. lol
It would all be the same while you're on the pill, silly.

I'm sorry it's boring to you; I'm probably a giant nerd (or just highly uninformed. Probably both) but I found it fascinating.

I geek out over it, too, @lolo883

SmileDamnit · December 2014

I stopped taking mine a year before we actively started trying (July of 2013). At that point, we knew we wanted a baby at some point so didn't really see the need to fork over the $$ on BC any more. That said, my cycle was pretty regular and we took the "we'll just be careful around the time we think I could get pregnant" route and that was about it. Decided to really go for it starting in July of 2014 since that's when the wedding was…and I'm 99.9% sure Baby Bean is a Montana baby

If you're in no rush to get pregnant right away, then I'd highly suggest just going at it the old fashioned way (e.g. start taking a prenatal vitamin, hump like rabbits, and enjoy). It can become crazy-making when/if you decide to dive deep into all the different TTC methods (temping, charting, calculating, tracking, etc.).

And when you do decide to actively start trying &/or get knocked up, peek into the Treehouse cuz there are some great trying to be moms/already moms over there that make a great support system (and who aren't mean bumpies!).

jenna8984 · December 2014

lolo883 said:

Ok cool, I have my annual in February so I plan to ask the Dr. then because I don't even know about the booster and other stuff you mentioned.
I started reading that book last night and I'll be honest, I was bored out of my mind. I felt like the only relevant information was the waking temp stuff and I didn't even hit that until like page 75. I felt like all the crap leading up to it was kind of pointless. And I'm sorry but tracking the fluid....I've seen it for 15 years and it always looks the fucking same to me. I don't know how I'm supposed to tell milky from eggwhitey. lol
It would all be the same while you're on the pill, silly. I'm sorry it's boring to you; I'm probably a giant nerd (or just highly uninformed. Probably both) but I found it fascinating.

That makes more sense lol

I just thought it would answer more of my questions but maybe I haven't gotten to that yet? Or maybe my questions are unrelated? I guess I thought it would be more comprehensive of the entire general process, I didn't know it would be so focused on the charting. But again, maybe I just haven't gotten to it yet.

jenna8984 · December 2014

@smiledamnit Thanks!! What is treehouse?

This is probably going to be the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard but I am pretty set on getting pregnant during certain months because I don't want to give birth in the winter. Having maternity leave for 3 months during winter trapped in the house in the snow would be miserable for me. So I really, really want to have the time off in spring or summer when I can go for stroller walks and sit outside. Obviously I don't know yet if I will have problems but I'm trying to do everything I can to make sure it happens in a certain 5 month window.

(I know how weird and crazy that prob sounds, and yes of course I'd be thrilled to be able to have a healthy baby at any time but that would really be ideal hahah)

emmyg65 · December 2014

I stay on my birth month board on TB and those ladies are nice and helpful and funny and such. Honestly, I hated being on message boards when we were TTC because it was just way too stressful. Agreed that if you're not in a rush or whatever, you might want to hold off on charting or otherwise obsessing. It can take a healthy couple a year to conceive, but knowing that doesn't make it easier each month it doesn't work.

Good luck, everyone!

SmileDamnit · December 2014

jenna8984 said:

@smiledamnit Thanks!! What is treehouse?
This is probably going to be the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard but I am pretty set on getting pregnant during certain months because I don't want to give birth in the winter. Having maternity leave for 3 months during winter trapped in the house in the snow would be miserable for me. So I really, really want to have the time off in spring or summer when I can go for stroller walks and sit outside. Obviously I don't know yet if I will have problems but I'm trying to do everything I can to make sure it happens in a certain 5 month window.

(I know how weird and crazy that prob sounds, and yes of course I'd be thrilled to be able to have a healthy baby at any time but that would really be ideal hahah)

It's another forum with a lot of people that used to be on TK (and that still are)…much, much smaller in scale than TK. THIS is the link to the Family Stuff boards.

And I get it - timing is important for a lot of things so I'll keep my fingers crossed it works out that way for you. Bean is due 4/20 so I'll have missed the bulk majority of winter (as well as being ginormous & uncomfortable at 8 & 9 months in the thick of summer!) and certainly am appreciative for that.

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

emmyg65 said:
I stay on my birth month board on TB and those ladies are nice and helpful and funny and such. Honestly, I hated being on message boards when we were TTC because it was just way too stressful. Agreed that if you're not in a rush or whatever, you might want to hold off on charting or otherwise obsessing. It can take a healthy couple a year to conceive, but knowing that doesn't make it easier each month it doesn't work.

Good luck, everyone!

I plan on using charting for NFP going forward, whether we're TTC or not, do I don't necessarily see it as obsessive. Just want to start learning now. Plus it'll keep me from peeing on things compulsively, not sure if I'm "late" or just irregular.

jenna8984 · December 2014

@smiledamnit Thanks for the link!! Yay that you will miss the winter too

jenna8984 · December 2014

@smichek good luck!! Hope your insurance gets sorted out soon and that all goes well for you guys! I've been reading that it doesn't matter if you're o the pill for 3 months or 15 years, that it will take the same amount of time to regulate. So that makes me feel good!

Yes I definitely have some favorite names. Our last name ends in A so I think a girls name ending in A would have a nice ring. Like Anna or Layla. I can't stand names in the most popular list like Emma/ Olivia. And I plan to tell DH by giving him a Bruins onsie!! I don't know why but I've had that plan for years haha. What about you??

LadyMillil · December 2014

@smichek‌ if it fits in your budget, you should start taking prenatals now so you get into the habit of taking vitamins. We want 2 girls and a boy. We've picked out the names Adelaide Marie (partly we love the name, partly after me), Arya Elizabeth (kitty is named Nymeria and DH is a huge Game of Thrones fan, and I love Pride and Prejudice) and Alexius John (after FIL and my grandpa)

misshart00 · December 2014

The first time, my H knew I was pregnant before I did.

larrygaga · December 2014

You aren't allowed to leave us anyway so IDK WTF you are doing on the bump.

the Bump forums do not seem welcoming

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