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the Bump forums do not seem welcoming

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Re: the Bump forums do not seem welcoming

  • beetherybeethery member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2014
    Cythe said:
    beethery said:
    Cythe said:
    Also, thanks for the suck a dick comment. We generally appreciate suggesting eating a bag of dicks. but whatever floats your boat over here.
    If you honestly give that many fucks about how someone else spends their money for testing that they deem necessary, you need to work on your own priorities. Byeeeeeee.
    I honestly give zero fucks about how people spend their money, with the exception of the woman who wanted to do an unmonitored IUI this morning without any testing because that's just cruel. I'm just saying that its not all that nice to talk your friends up about this thing they neeed to do which they may not be able to do at all.

    Of course, then there are the women who have to wait until 10+ weeks into their pregnancy to even be seen once by their ob because their docs schedule is clogged up by unnecessary appointments. Like I said in my post that you seem to all have the issue with, good luck. And yes, I'm leaving so byeeeeee.
    K that's great... whatever.

    Y'all, pay for the testing that you can get. That's all. And if it offends you, I don't super care. Deal with your pregnancy in your own way, like you would have anyway if you don't see fit to spend money on testing. It is not that big of a deal, I'm not personally spurned by it if an individual does not feel the need to get tested.

    What pisses me off is that the doctors or insurance companies don't think it's something they might need to check into. If you are the person who made that giant decision for the insurance company you write major policies for, once again, my theme song: 

    (HAHAHAHA SUCK IT BOXES)
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

    image
  • beethery said:
    K that's great... whatever.

    Y'all, pay for the testing that you can get. That's all. And if it offends you, I don't super care. Deal with your pregnancy in your own way, like you would have anyway if you don't see fit to spend money on testing. It is not that big of a deal, I'm not personally spurned by it if an individual does not feel the need to get tested.

    What pisses me off is that the doctors or insurance companies don't think it's something they might need to check into. If you are the person who made that giant decision for the insurance company you write major policies for, once again, my theme song: 

    (HAHAHAHA SUCK IT BOXES)
    I don't think she read that you- or someone- who was talking about genetic testing has a history of CF in their family, and their OB still wanted to wait until after the poster was pregnant to test.

    Um, that's just fucking stupid and defeats the purpose of genetic testing ><  Which was the point of the conversation regarding genetic testing.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Cythe said:
    I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, I am not the one who made that decision for all the insurance companies. Our healthcare system/insurance system (in the US) is supply and demand driven and even more unfortunately sometimes what you do in your pregnancy does effect other women.

    Ladies, our two boards are not all that different. We are a collective wealth of knowledge, and if you do have any TTC questions please do check out our blog. It has a shit ton of information so that we don't have to answer the same question 200x a day.
    Does that actually work, though?  People tried that on boards over here by posting Stickies and no one ever actually read the stickies. . .

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I don't think she read that you- or someone- who was talking about genetic testing has a history of CF in their family, and their OB still wanted to wait until after the poster was pregnant to test.

    Um, that's just fucking stupid and defeats the purpose of genetic testing ><  Which was the point of the conversation regarding genetic testing.
    That qualifies as family history and is a completely different situation. Unfortunately, 1 poster saying their OB was a twat doesn't justify everyone needing genetic testing before hand. I wish that genetic testing would be available to everyone, and I know CF carriers who are TTC but it doesn't work that way.
  • CytheCythe member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2014
    Does that actually work, though?  People tried that on boards over here by posting Stickies and no one ever actually read the stickies. . .
    No, no it fucking doesn't. We can dream though, can't we?

    ETA: sorry that sounded harsher than I intended. That isn't directed at you guys. Its just a point of irritation for many of us on TTGP.
  • Does that actually work, though?  People tried that on boards over here by posting Stickies and no one ever actually read the stickies. . .
    If it worked we wouldn't be nearly as ragey as we usually are. Sometimes, though, we'll direct a new poster to the link and they'll *actually* read it and learn and stick around. We like those people.
  • amelisha said:
    Reading this thread and that thread is making me feel like I just climbed off a plane in a city where they only speak, like, Quechua or Basque or something. Wut. I don't speak pregnancy.

     
    This is what my original post was all about. I don't know know any of these things either....and @cythe acts like I should know them all so that I don't ask the same question as 200 other people that day. Well, sorry that I don't know these things yet...how am I going to learn if I don't ask? So you shouldn't discourage of the asking. If anyone is really that sick of answering it so many times, then maybe they should move along off the board. That would make more sense than just telling all new people "read blogs, don't ask questions". I got sick of the cash bar questions, so I just quit looking on the E board and Reception board. Problem solved.

                                                                     

    image

  • Cythe said:
    That qualifies as family history and is a completely different situation. Unfortunately, 1 poster saying their OB was a twat doesn't justify everyone needing genetic testing before hand. I wish that genetic testing would be available to everyone, and I know CF carriers who are TTC but it doesn't work that way.
    But they can't get the testing unless it's paid for out of pocket?  So fucking stupid.


    Cythe said:
    No, no it fucking doesn't. We can dream though, can't we?

    ETA: sorry that sounded harsher than I intended. That isn't directed at you guys. Its just a point of irritation for many of us on TTGP.
    Haha- I knew what you were saying w/o the edit.  Many of us like to use the word fuck and not neccessarily directed at each other.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • So if all the questions are answered in the blog, and asking the question on the board gets you redirected to the blog....what is the point of the board exactly? Not to ask questions, that's for damn sure, that's in the fucking blog you were supposed to read before you even considered becoming a parent.


  • edited December 2014
    Cythe said:
    You could read about it in our well organized blog.

    If you were in a college class, would you show up for finals without reading any of the material? Sure, you could pelt your professor with a million questions and probably get the gist of it, or you could just read it. We also frequently have Newbie Playdates that are flame free - as long as you dont give us symptoms and ask if you could be pregnant. Great place to ask questions without starting a new thread about it.
    Yes. This. @jenna8984 your response is the actual reason why we have a blog. Its there to be read FIRST and then if there are questions remaining, you ask them. You don't walk into a room full of people who have established a sense of community based upon giving and receiving support and knowledge and treat them like your own personal google. We're all grown ups, and we all share responsibility for doing at least *some* of the work.

    No one is EVER told not to ask questions. Ever. In fact, I myself have asked many questions, and have never been flamed off of the board. My friends are on TTGP, I'm not just going to stop going there because there are stupids that come and ask us if they're pregnant.
  • MagicInk said:
    So if all the questions are answered in the blog, and asking the question on the board gets you redirected to the blog....what is the point of the board exactly? Not to ask questions, that's for damn sure, that's in the fucking blog you were supposed to read before you even considered becoming a parent.


    Really? You must know this isn't true. ALL the questions are not answered in the blog. Many are, though. Again, not every question is referred to the blog....just the ones that get asked OVER and over again, like, "guise my cycle is ALWAYS 28 days long and im 15 days late WTAF is going on and am I totes pregotes?!"
  • beetherybeethery member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2014
    Cythe said:
    That qualifies as family history and is a completely different situation. Unfortunately, 1 poster saying their OB was a twat doesn't justify everyone needing genetic testing before hand. I wish that genetic testing would be available to everyone, and I know CF carriers who are TTC but it doesn't work that way.
    She was my GP and she was a twat for multiple reasons, the flat-out denial of even a referral to a testing facility was only one of them. I'm not trying to have a child right now or during any time in the next 2-3 years. 

    I really want to know if I'm a carrier before I make the final decision on whether or not I try to have a child. If I am a carrier, FI will get tested to see if he is. If we're both carriers, then no babies. No big deal for us.

    If finding out carrier status is important to someone and they want to get it done and it is financially feasible, cool. If someone is ultimately unable to pay for it because there's no insurance coverage or if they don't feel like it's necessary, it's not a huge deal. Plenty of people aren't carriers and are unlikely to have kids with CF. 

    I'm not going to hate someone because they either don't think it's worth spending the money on or if they can't afford it, because how they spend their money is their deal. That person's spending is at their discretion.

    Which is what I was getting at, if someone is so pressed about how an individual sees fit to spend (or not spend) their money, they can suck a dick. It's not their problem or their business.
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

    image
  • CytheCythe member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2014
    beethery said:
    x
    Which is what I was getting at, if someone is so pressed about how an individual sees fit to spend (or not spend) their money, they can suck a dick. It's not their problem or their business.
    Why do we keep going back to this suck a dick business? I'm over here trying to have an open conversation and this keeps getting thrown at me. Unfortunately, you will find a lot of people who will be vocal about unnecessary testing before TTC. If you have a family history then that's different. I am very sorry that your carrier status is unknown at this time, I know it can be a mind fuck and I hope everything turns out for you and your SO.
  • MagicInk said:

    All the women on TB want to be pregnant. I just want to be a parent.
    FWIW, we have lots of ladies on TTGP who are not, in fact, TTGP. I can see your point though in why you may feel that you wouldn't be welcomed. I assure you that we are a very welcoming bunch...and I assume you wouldn't be asking us if you're pregnant/post a pic of a pee stick/ask us why your cycle that has been regular FOREVER is now longer/shorter/you see where I'm going with this, so we could avoid that all together :)
  • I was never on the TTGP board because well...at the time we weren't trying to get pregnant (so why go on that board? I also never went on the outdoor wedding board here because we had an indoor wedding), I was on the BOTB board. 

    On that board, every question was met with a basic "Why don't you already have this information researched? You're thinking about getting pregnant but you don't know exactly this works? Google this information"...ok...that's...nice and helpful.

    It didn't feel...welcoming. It felt like...you should know everything before coming here and if you don't, go learn it. And not just basic stuff like "Gee I think I might be pregnant, how can I tell?" cause even I'd respond "A fucking pregnancy test would help". 

    Maybe now that we are trying (or will be sometime next week) TTGP will be better/different. Maybe it's just BOTB (and now they'll be over here next, sorry peeps). Maybe it's just me.

    I still want to know if I can say fuck and make dirty jokes. Cause for real...90% of my personality. 
  • Cythe said:
    Why do we keep going back to this suck a dick business? I'm over here trying to have an open conversation and this keeps getting thrown at me. Unfortunately, you will find a lot of people who will be vocal about unnecessary testing before TTC. If you have a family history then that's different. I am very sorry that your carrier status is unknown at this time, I know it can be a mind fuck and I hope everything turns out for you and your SO.
    If you do not care how someone decides to spend their money, you have not been told to suck a dick.

    To the rest, thank you.
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

    image
  • esstee33 said:
    Maybe the purpose of the board isn't to answer countless questions for newbies who don't read the blog, but rather to discuss the ins and outs of trying to get pregnant with other people who are also trying to get pregnant. You know, commiserating and all. I fail to see the issue here and think a whole lot of people are making a big fucking deal out of them doing exactly what we do here -- direct people to stickies to answer newbie questions. 
    YES.
    image
  • FWIW, we have lots of ladies on TTGP who are not, in fact, TTGP. I can see your point though in why you may feel that you wouldn't be welcomed. I assure you that we are a very welcoming bunch...and I assume you wouldn't be asking us if you're pregnant/post a pic of a pee stick/ask us why your cycle that has been regular FOREVER is now longer/shorter/you see where I'm going with this, so we could avoid that all together :)
    Well I might ask...but the answer will have nothing to do with getting knocked up. More like "Someone tell me to go see a fucking doctor" cause I'm shit at going to see a fucking doctor. Seriously. 

    And no...I'm not a fan of posting pictures of things I've urinated on. I'm not saying I won't take a pregnancy test with my wife just be weird...cause I'm weird. I'm saying I won't then photograph it and share it with the world. Look guys! Negative!

    I was on a site a long ass time ago that had a teen pregnancy board (It was for teenagers) that became a "OMG we're trying to get pregnant!" board...ew. Anyways, girls loved to post their fucking pee sticks and demand to see other's pee sticks and it was all really gross.
  • MagicInk said:
    Maybe now that we are trying (or will be sometime next week) TTGP will be better/different. Maybe it's just BOTB (and now they'll be over here next, sorry peeps). Maybe it's just me.

    I still want to know if I can say fuck and make dirty jokes. Cause for real...90% of my personality. 
    Come play with us and see how you like it. I don't really know what goes on on BOTB. I went there once by accident and it seemed like a bunch of stupids, so I quickly sought refuge on TTGP. I don't think there's a strong "membership," so to speak, on BOTB like there is on TTGP.

    As for fucks and dirty jokes....we're all about that shit. Join us.
  • beetherybeethery member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2014
    @cythe For fuck's sake, it was directed at the general 'you' for something you don't even care about, and you felt that it applied to you.

    Don't suck a dick, the end.
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

    image
  • beethery said:
    @cythe For fuck's sake, it was directed at the general 'you' for something you don't even care about, and you felt that it applied to you.

    Don't suck a dick, the end.
    :( this was a joke since you explained it above.
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