How would you know your FI isn't the "one"?

lyndausvi · December 2014

Run, run far away.

I didn't meet my husband until my late 30's. Before I met him I still had an amazing life. I traveled the world. Ended up moving to the islands, had the best job in the world working on a sailboat. Yes, I made a living working on a sailboat. I bought waterfront property. IN THE ISLANDS.

Eventually i met my husband in the islands.

Marrying an abusive person because you don't want to be alone is no way to live. Being married is not the be all end all. While you are waiting for your future spouse you can still have fun, full life.

MegEn1 · December 2014

I just got off the phone with a friend of mine today who got divorced less than two years after her marriage. She has since found a new guy and is engaged again. Talking to her about this new guy is like talking to a different person - she's happy, safe, giddy. Everything she wasn't with the other.

Breaking off an engagement is far easier than breaking off a marriage, because marriage is harder than an engagement. Life will only get harder, and you have to determine if he is the one to be your partner through those harder times.

Also, if he treats you like this, what makes you think he wouldn't treat his children the same?

PrettyGirlLost · December 2014

flutteringinftmyers said:

teamc2016 said:

lolo883 said:

teamc2016 said:

Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate all the input because keeping this all in was making me go crazy. I couldn't see it clearly until I wrote it out. I know what to do, and now the plan is how to do it. It's a shame. And I honestly didn't realize how unhelpful our counseling sessions were until i re-read as well. I know it may seem like common sense to some, but it's not always black and white when your in it.

Just wish I could have seen this two years ago. Now I'm 25 smh...time flies

You've got 50+ years of life ahead of you. Two years in the past is nothing.

FWIW, I met my person when I was 29 and just got married shortly after turning 31. Everything clicked so perfectly that I had zero regrets about all the bullshit I'd gone through in life that led me to that moment.

I'm happy you're able to see the forest for the trees now. Don't feel like you can't stick around and chat with us!

Thank you. I kind of felt like I was getting past the point of no return lol. I have alot of friends that got married/had kids young and they made me feel like my time was closing up.

There is NEVER a point of no return. There are only points of easier or harder return. But there is never a point where you are obligated to just lie there and take it.

Sure there is, when you're dead.

And often that's how these scenarios ultimatley play out.

flutteringinfl · December 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

flutteringinftmyers said:

teamc2016 said:

lolo883 said:

teamc2016 said:

Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate all the input because keeping this all in was making me go crazy. I couldn't see it clearly until I wrote it out. I know what to do, and now the plan is how to do it. It's a shame. And I honestly didn't realize how unhelpful our counseling sessions were until i re-read as well. I know it may seem like common sense to some, but it's not always black and white when your in it.

Just wish I could have seen this two years ago. Now I'm 25 smh...time flies

You've got 50+ years of life ahead of you. Two years in the past is nothing.

FWIW, I met my person when I was 29 and just got married shortly after turning 31. Everything clicked so perfectly that I had zero regrets about all the bullshit I'd gone through in life that led me to that moment.

I'm happy you're able to see the forest for the trees now. Don't feel like you can't stick around and chat with us!

Thank you. I kind of felt like I was getting past the point of no return lol. I have alot of friends that got married/had kids young and they made me feel like my time was closing up.

There is NEVER a point of no return. There are only points of easier or harder return. But there is never a point where you are obligated to just lie there and take it.

Sure there is, when you're dead.

And often that's how these scenarios ultimatley play out.

Oy, right in the gut, that one

OP, I hope it goes well. Do NOT let him talk you out of it. He will make excuses and promises. He will try to make you feel obligated to stay. Don't let him do it. Let his protests fall on deaf ears, turn around, and wash your hands of this asshole.

VulgarGirl · December 2014

teamc2016 said:

blabla89 said:

I'm sorry you're going through all this with your FI. No one deserves to be in a relationship that is physically or psychologically abusive (and it sounds like this is what you have). You deserve better than this. You should not have to walk on eggshells and you absolutely should never have to fear a physical altercation. I think it's pretty clear that this man is not "the one" and I think you know it, too, which is why you're asking. May I ask you, why is it that you have stayed with him this long?

No problem in asking. I held on to the fact that he is SOOOOOO kind and loving when he isn't acting this way. He loves me, loves my family, funny, intelligent, giving to EVERYONE and has helped me out so much finacially since I've been out of work. He's my best friend in all other aspects. He'd give the shirt off his back if someone needed it. He's the first man I've met that all our goals (getting married, going to church, having children) have lined up perfectly and he seems like he'll be a good dad. That's what makes it so hard

If he can hit his partner, he can hit his child.

I have spent 10 years with my now wife. We have fought, yelled, and screamed at each other. We have stormed off and slammed doors. I have even punched a wall (stupid I really hurt myself). Not once ever have we laid a hand on one another in violence.

When I've flown off the handle and gotten angry, I apologize for my behavior. I don't blame my wife for upsetting me. Because I'm fucking grown up who should be able to control her temper.

He's an abusive asshole. Trust me, there are lots of guys in the world who want to get married go to church and have kids. And still won't hit anyone.

ShellD13 · December 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

teamc2016 said:

Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate all the input because keeping this all in was making me go crazy. I couldn't see it clearly until I wrote it out. I know what to do, and now the plan is how to do it. It's a shame. And I honestly didn't realize how unhelpful our counseling sessions were until i re-read as well. I know it may seem like common sense to some, but it's not always black and white when your in it.

Just wish I could have seen this two years ago. Now I'm 25 smh...time flies

FWIW, I met DH when I was almost 25. We started dating around the time I turned 25. It's not like you're "past your prime" or something. FFS - that would mean I'm like a shrivling old hag!!

If either of you are "old" I might as well check into the nursing home now. My first engagement was in my early 20's. Like I said in a previous post, I came to my senses and ended the relationship and sought help to get my issues resolved. I didn't meet H until just before my 36th birthday. We got married this summer. I turn 40 in 3 months. As long as life may seem it is TOO SHORT to spend with someone who is abusive.

teamc2016 · December 2014

ShellD13 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

His mother and sister are wrong, and are trying to defend his reprehnsible actions.

He will not change.

The other thing to consider is they may have been subject to his abuses as well and they might be just as afraid of him. I don't recall you speaking about his father - have you met him? Is there a chance that this is learned behavior? Just curious?

His father passed when he was 13. But his father was abusive as well if not worse. His mother always says I remind her of herself, but she still enables/coddles him. He didn't live with his father growing up and never witnessed any abuse. But unfortunately it runs in his family, all of his uncles and his grandfather on his dad's side are abusive and are now single. It's really weird. I would be breaking a cycle because his mother and father were our age when they got married and the abuse began.

esstee33 · December 2014

I was 25 when I divorced my manipulative, abusive ex husband.

My FI was 28 when he divorced his manipulative, abusive ex wife.

It's never too late to start over and actually give yourself a chance at true happiness and love without fear.

levioosa · December 2014

teamc2016 said:

ShellD13 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

His mother and sister are wrong, and are trying to defend his reprehnsible actions.

He will not change.

The other thing to consider is they may have been subject to his abuses as well and they might be just as afraid of him. I don't recall you speaking about his father - have you met him? Is there a chance that this is learned behavior? Just curious?

His father passed when he was 13. But his father was abusive as well if not worse. His mother always says I remind her of herself, but she still enables/coddles him. He didn't live with his father growing up and never witnessed any abuse. But unfortunately it runs in his family, all of his uncles and his grandfather on his dad's side are abusive and are now single. It's really weird. I would be breaking a cycle because his mother and father were our age when they got married and the abuse began.

It's awful that he was abused, but that does not give him the right to hurt you, and you can't help him. You CANNOT break that cycle yourself. You cannot "fix" him.

PrettyGirlLost · December 2014

flutteringinftmyers said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

flutteringinftmyers said:

teamc2016 said:

lolo883 said:

teamc2016 said:

Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate all the input because keeping this all in was making me go crazy. I couldn't see it clearly until I wrote it out. I know what to do, and now the plan is how to do it. It's a shame. And I honestly didn't realize how unhelpful our counseling sessions were until i re-read as well. I know it may seem like common sense to some, but it's not always black and white when your in it.

Just wish I could have seen this two years ago. Now I'm 25 smh...time flies

You've got 50+ years of life ahead of you. Two years in the past is nothing.

FWIW, I met my person when I was 29 and just got married shortly after turning 31. Everything clicked so perfectly that I had zero regrets about all the bullshit I'd gone through in life that led me to that moment.

I'm happy you're able to see the forest for the trees now. Don't feel like you can't stick around and chat with us!

Thank you. I kind of felt like I was getting past the point of no return lol. I have alot of friends that got married/had kids young and they made me feel like my time was closing up.

There is NEVER a point of no return. There are only points of easier or harder return. But there is never a point where you are obligated to just lie there and take it.

Sure there is, when you're dead.

And often that's how these scenarios ultimatley play out.

Oy, right in the gut, that one OP, I hope it goes well. Do NOT let him talk you out of it. He will make excuses and promises. He will try to make you feel obligated to stay. Don't let him do it. Let his protests fall on deaf ears, turn around, and wash your hands of this asshole.

I wasn't saying it to be glib or crash or harsh, but to be realistic. Because that is a real concern in some of these situations.

OP, I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you can follow through with leaving him, getting counseling, and getting yourself into a safer environment.

VulgarGirl · December 2014

ShellD13 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

teamc2016 said:

Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate all the input because keeping this all in was making me go crazy. I couldn't see it clearly until I wrote it out. I know what to do, and now the plan is how to do it. It's a shame. And I honestly didn't realize how unhelpful our counseling sessions were until i re-read as well. I know it may seem like common sense to some, but it's not always black and white when your in it.

Just wish I could have seen this two years ago. Now I'm 25 smh...time flies

FWIW, I met DH when I was almost 25. We started dating around the time I turned 25. It's not like you're "past your prime" or something. FFS - that would mean I'm like a shrivling old hag!!

If either of you are "old" I might as well check into the nursing home now. My first engagement was in my early 20's. Like I said in a previous post, I came to my senses and ended the relationship and sought help to get my issues resolved. I didn't meet H until just before my 36th birthday. We got married this summer. I turn 40 in 3 months. As long as life may seem it is TOO SHORT to spend with someone who is abusive.

My mom met her wife when she was 38. 25 is not "too late" or "too old".

Grandma is still out dating and having fun. She has no plans to marry.

yogablossom · December 2014

Holy crap I would RUN from this guy and never look back.

NO ONE should EVER be physically abusive to you! No one should be this emotionally abusive either! Open and honest communication are key to having a relationship work, and it sounds like you can't be communicative with him because you are afraid of him. And it sounds like he won't be communicative with you because he's obviously dealing with rage for whatever reason.

I am sorry to hear you're in this kind of relationship. I honestly hope you can find the strength to get out now.

And you WILL find the RIGHT man for you--one who you can talk with, and share you thoughts with, and who will love you and accept you no matter what. You should never feel like you're stepping on eggshells, or afraid to say what you feel. The right man will let you do that and so much more!

Good luck with everything, please keep us posted!

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

teamc2016 said:

ShellD13 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

His mother and sister are wrong, and are trying to defend his reprehnsible actions.

He will not change.

The other thing to consider is they may have been subject to his abuses as well and they might be just as afraid of him. I don't recall you speaking about his father - have you met him? Is there a chance that this is learned behavior? Just curious?

His father passed when he was 13. But his father was abusive as well if not worse. His mother always says I remind her of herself, but she still enables/coddles him. He didn't live with his father growing up and never witnessed any abuse. But unfortunately it runs in his family, all of his uncles and his grandfather on his dad's side are abusive and are now single. It's really weird. I would be breaking a cycle because his mother and father were our age when they got married and the abuse began.

This just tells me that his mother was sufficiently beaten down to the point where she didn't believe that she deserved love, security or respect, so she didn't instill those truths in her son.

levioosa · December 2014

lolo883 said:

teamc2016 said:

ShellD13 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

His mother and sister are wrong, and are trying to defend his reprehnsible actions.

He will not change.

The other thing to consider is they may have been subject to his abuses as well and they might be just as afraid of him. I don't recall you speaking about his father - have you met him? Is there a chance that this is learned behavior? Just curious?

His father passed when he was 13. But his father was abusive as well if not worse. His mother always says I remind her of herself, but she still enables/coddles him. He didn't live with his father growing up and never witnessed any abuse. But unfortunately it runs in his family, all of his uncles and his grandfather on his dad's side are abusive and are now single. It's really weird. I would be breaking a cycle because his mother and father were our age when they got married and the abuse began.

This just tells me that his mother was sufficiently beaten down to the point where she didn't believe that she deserved love, security or respect, so she didn't instill those truths in her son.

QFT

redoryx · December 2014

teamc2016 said:

Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate all the input because keeping this all in was making me go crazy. I couldn't see it clearly until I wrote it out. I know what to do, and now the plan is how to do it. It's a shame. And I honestly didn't realize how unhelpful our counseling sessions were until i re-read as well. I know it may seem like common sense to some, but it's not always black and white when your in it.

Just wish I could have seen this two years ago. Now I'm 25 smh...time flies

I got out of a very co-dependent relationship with an emotionally abusive man when I was 26 and walking away was the hardest thing I have ever had to do simply because of that co-dependency. I had NO plan and was living in a city with no friends and in an entirely different state from my family. Luckily I had a job and the means to stay in a hotel for a couple days before my family could come down and help me get my stuff out of his house (arranged at a time when he wouldn't be there) and into my own place.

But I'm now 33 and with the most wonderful man and life is completely different. It doesn't matter what you did or did not know two years ago. What matters is what you know NOW and taking that first step to get out. Plan, if you can, but if not just get out the fucking door and run run run.

NYCMercedes · December 2014

You had me at "eggshells". Do you have an exit plan?

thisismynickname2 · December 2014

I only read the original post and not the rest of the pages.

RUN.

This doesn't sound healthy at all. I mean, kudos to you both for going to counseling, but why would you want to risk subjecting yourself to this for the rest of your life?

novella1186 · December 2014

OP, stay strong. As a PP said, he will do anything to manipulate you into staying. Let me tell you three truths you need to keep in your mind at all times:

He will not change

He will not treat you better

You will never have a peaceful, happy life with him

I wasted 3 years on my abusive psycho ex. It would have been a much shorter amount of time except that he always managed to manipulate me into coming back, and I fell for it every time, and every time I went back the abuse got worse. It started with harsh words. It ended with him slamming me to the ground and choking me till I blacked out because he intended to kill me.

This may sound stupid, but I don't regret what I went through. I learned A LOT, especially the level of respect I deserve, and what genuine love is. Terror and walking on eggshells is NOT genuine love. I met my FI when I was 25 and when we get married I'll be close to 29. That's not too old or too late. And let me tell you, he is the sweetest, most loving, kind, caring, genuine, honest, open, wonderful man I've ever met in my life. He just told me ten minutes ago that I'm so special to him. I'm pretty sure he'd walk through fire for me, and I've never for one single moment been in fear of him or felt like I was on eggshells around him.

You may feel like you're in a mess right now, and that you've wasted time, and that things are hopeless. You are wrong. Once you get out of this (and you DO damn well have the power to get out and never look back) you will find that life is SO beautiful, and so peaceful, and you'll find that man you makes you feel more loved and more safe and more comfortable than you ever thought you could be. I promise.

luckya23 · December 2014

I watch a lot of Dr. Phil and he always says that the most dangerous part of an abusive relationship is getting out of it. Please be careful, OP, and make sure you have people around you who know what's going on and hopefully can accompany you in dealing with him.

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/543

ETA: I met my FI when I was 31, I'm 33 now, and it was worth the wait!

buttercup1958 · December 2014

Please leave and be safe! When I was with a guy who was starting to become abusive. At first it was small controlling situations, making me feel bad about small things (like farting), and removing me from my friends. I hit my breaking point in the summer when we were long distance. He started to make me cry, wish me I had an awful day, that he will break up with me if I didn't always take his calls. After two weeks, I said it was enough and broke up with him. He tried to guilt me, saying that I should love him and stay. That no one else will love me as much. He also grew up in an abusive home. I haven't look back since.

I'm now with the best guy in the world. I feel safe, loved, respected, cherished, and I know he is the one. I never have question my relationship. You deserve this feeling too OP!

RebeccaB88 · December 2014

Have to agree with all the previous posts, and just add this: I guarantee that going to the strip club wasn't a 'crazy' thing. I'd bet my next paycheck that he's a regular there.

NavyBlue143 · December 2014

OP, even if you never find someone, being free, safe, unafraid, and able to live as a person with the right to have feelings, opinions, and experiences, is so much better than being caged and afraid. You're young. In fact, you're my age. We're very, very young. I understand the religious idea that if you're not married and a mom by 22 you're a spinster, because I grew up with and went to college in that environment too. But once you get out of that mindset, that environment, you realize a happy life is worth living, even if you live it alone. Being a wife and mother will not make you happy. It won't. Living your life, being happy and whole within yourself, experiencing new adventures, being loved and respected and valued as an equal, will.

My H grew up with an emotionally abusive, manipulative dad. He has some of those tendencies. The difference is, he hates that about himself, and strives to change it. He has worked so hard to overcome his upbringing. He doesn't always act that way, but when he's an asshole during an argument, he apologizes. When he dismisses my feelings or thoughts, he apologizes. And he genuinely tries to be better, not just says what I want to hear so I'll stay. He doesn't improve temporarily only to do the same crap next time. Each time he's a little better, a little faster to realize he's being a douche and stop, and argue or discuss like an adult. He also does not blame me for his actions or reactions, he acknowledges these are his issues to overcome. He knows it's ok to be upset with me, disagree with me, whatever, but he also knows he has to treat me with respect when he's doing it, and he truly wants in all things to show me he respects and values me. I never fear disagreeing with him or bringing up something that upsets or concerns me. I know he values my opinions, and he considers me worthy of considerate behavior, as I do him.

Someone who truly wants to overcome their bad habits will, and will take the responsibility on themselves. It's easy to be pleasant and nice when things are going your way and nobody questions you. The true test of character comes when you are stressed, tired, angry, or things are not going your way. Good luck, and please, please know you deserve better, and refuse to settle for less.

Gustafson28 · December 2014

flutteringinftmyers said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

flutteringinftmyers said:

teamc2016 said:

lolo883 said:

teamc2016 said:

Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate all the input because keeping this all in was making me go crazy. I couldn't see it clearly until I wrote it out. I know what to do, and now the plan is how to do it. It's a shame. And I honestly didn't realize how unhelpful our counseling sessions were until i re-read as well. I know it may seem like common sense to some, but it's not always black and white when your in it.

Just wish I could have seen this two years ago. Now I'm 25 smh...time flies

You've got 50+ years of life ahead of you. Two years in the past is nothing.

FWIW, I met my person when I was 29 and just got married shortly after turning 31. Everything clicked so perfectly that I had zero regrets about all the bullshit I'd gone through in life that led me to that moment.

I'm happy you're able to see the forest for the trees now. Don't feel like you can't stick around and chat with us!

Thank you. I kind of felt like I was getting past the point of no return lol. I have alot of friends that got married/had kids young and they made me feel like my time was closing up.

There is NEVER a point of no return. There are only points of easier or harder return. But there is never a point where you are obligated to just lie there and take it.

Sure there is, when you're dead.

And often that's how these scenarios ultimatley play out.

Oy, right in the gut, that one OP, I hope it goes well. Do NOT let him talk you out of it. He will make excuses and promises. He will try to make you feel obligated to stay. Don't let him do it. Let his PROTESTS fall on deaf ears, turn around, and wash your hands of this asshole.

I can't bold on mobile but I read "protests" as "prostates" ... I know this is a serious topic but I found his prostate dropping on ears to be pretty funny. Must be the pain meds

natswild · December 2014

I agree with previous posters that you need to get out of there now! I see a ton of red flags, and am very concerned for your safety. He definitely reminds me of my ex, who was extremely charming when he wanted to be, but was EXTREMELY manipulative. I was very lucky I got out of that alive: when I went to take my belongings out of the house, if I'd gone alone, I would absolutely have been a statistic, rather than him spending time in prison.

That happened when I was 25 (seems to be a common age!); and I met my FI when I was 42. FI was absolutely worth the wait, and he treats me like gold. @teamc2016, you absolutely deserve to be treated the best, not manipulated and abused by such an ass.

teamc2016 · December 2014

RebeccaB88 said:

Have to agree with all the previous posts, and just add this: I guarantee that going to the strip club wasn't a 'crazy' thing. I'd bet my next paycheck that he's a regular there.

@RebeccaB88 you're absolutely right. I took a few hours to plan and clear my head, and found out he went again tonight.....and he has to teach children in the morning... #ICANT If I were a cussing woman this post would be filled with expletives

novella1186 · December 2014

teamc2016 said:

RebeccaB88 said:

Have to agree with all the previous posts, and just add this: I guarantee that going to the strip club wasn't a 'crazy' thing. I'd bet my next paycheck that he's a regular there.

@RebeccaB88 you're absolutely right. I took a few hours to plan and clear my head, and found out he went again tonight.....and he has to teach children in the morning... #ICANT If I were a cussing woman this post would be filled with expletives

Well, sweetie, I hope that made you put your running shoes on.

Stick around, and let us know if there's anything more we can help you with. I wish you the very best.

Edited to clarify: stick around on THE KNOT, don't stick around with your FI

flutteringinfl · December 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

flutteringinftmyers said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

flutteringinftmyers said:

teamc2016 said:

lolo883 said:

teamc2016 said:

Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate all the input because keeping this all in was making me go crazy. I couldn't see it clearly until I wrote it out. I know what to do, and now the plan is how to do it. It's a shame. And I honestly didn't realize how unhelpful our counseling sessions were until i re-read as well. I know it may seem like common sense to some, but it's not always black and white when your in it.

Just wish I could have seen this two years ago. Now I'm 25 smh...time flies

You've got 50+ years of life ahead of you. Two years in the past is nothing.

FWIW, I met my person when I was 29 and just got married shortly after turning 31. Everything clicked so perfectly that I had zero regrets about all the bullshit I'd gone through in life that led me to that moment.

I'm happy you're able to see the forest for the trees now. Don't feel like you can't stick around and chat with us!

Thank you. I kind of felt like I was getting past the point of no return lol. I have alot of friends that got married/had kids young and they made me feel like my time was closing up.

There is NEVER a point of no return. There are only points of easier or harder return. But there is never a point where you are obligated to just lie there and take it.

Sure there is, when you're dead.

And often that's how these scenarios ultimatley play out.

Oy, right in the gut, that one OP, I hope it goes well. Do NOT let him talk you out of it. He will make excuses and promises. He will try to make you feel obligated to stay. Don't let him do it. Let his protests fall on deaf ears, turn around, and wash your hands of this asshole.

I wasn't saying it to be glib or crash or harsh, but to be realistic. Because that is a real concern in some of these situations.

OP, I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you can follow through with leaving him, getting counseling, and getting yourself into a safer environment.

No, I know. I meant it more as, "That's a sobering truth and you're right."

Sugargirl1019 · December 2014

teamc2016 said:

RebeccaB88 said:

Have to agree with all the previous posts, and just add this: I guarantee that going to the strip club wasn't a 'crazy' thing. I'd bet my next paycheck that he's a regular there.

@RebeccaB88 you're absolutely right. I took a few hours to plan and clear my head, and found out he went again tonight.....and he has to teach children in the morning... #ICANT If I were a cussing woman this post would be filled with expletives

This makes me sick. One of the boundaries in my relationship is strip clubs, the ladies here know that. So I'm just incorrigible about your FI having gone in the first place "to do something crazy" and now to have gone again because he can't sit down and talk with you and get his shit together. I'm so sorry he's treating you this way! I'd just leave. Move out don't tell him go far away.

sophhabobopha · December 2014

I can't say it better than these ladies. Run, don't walk, away from that asshole.

Good vibes, OP!

PrettyGirlLost · December 2014

teamc2016 said:

RebeccaB88 said:

Have to agree with all the previous posts, and just add this: I guarantee that going to the strip club wasn't a 'crazy' thing. I'd bet my next paycheck that he's a regular there.

@RebeccaB88 you're absolutely right. I took a few hours to plan and clear my head, and found out he went again tonight.....and he has to teach children in the morning... #ICANT If I were a cussing woman this post would be filled with expletives

I don't understand the connection between going to a strip club and teaching children? He's not going to be teaching theM to strip.

Going to a strip club isn't inherently evil.

How would you know your FI isn't the "one"?

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