Someone On My Side?

mrsdee15 · December 2014

I'm writing this while tears are streaming down my face, so please bear with me.

Last night we went to a holiday party and then a bar. Over a 5-hour period, I had exactly 8 drinks. In that time, I also ate a bunch of meat, mashed potatoes, and bread. I was tipsy when we went to the bar, but nothing crazy. I remember going to the bar, I was talking to a friend, and then... it just cuts out. Like a movie or something. I was talking to my friend about our parents' company and then nothing. I woke up this morning in bed.

FI then tells me that shortly after my friends left, I became completely unresponsive, passed out, and when they tried to get me to walk, I collapsed on the ground. When the Uber got to our condo, he yelled my name and slapped my face to wake me up. Nothing. He left me on the couch and then I guess I got up and got some water and went to bed. I have no memory of this.

I have no hangover. I can tell you exactly what was going on until everything was just nothing. This is completely unusual. I'm not saying this happened, but one time I was roofied in college, and it was a really similar experience. I told someone it happened and she said she had seen me drunk so I was just drunk (she was going to a date party that night at that frat house). No one listened to me then. And it turns out no one listens to me now. FI said something along the same lines: "I would think it was weird but I've seen you drunk, soooo...." He then changed his tune, saying that yes it was completely unusual, but he didn't see anything happen at the bar, so he just doesn't know.

I feel alone and scared and fragile. I'm sorry to unload on you ladies but I really need someone to listen and believe me. I don't know what I think happened, but I feel sure something did.

bethsmiles · December 2014

I 100% believe you. Reading your story, as soon as you said everything suddenly went black it made me think you were drugged. You can get a drug test but you would need to do it ASAP because most drugs leave the body in 24 - 72 hours but what you are describing absolutely sounds like something was slipped into your drink.

I can't believe your FI just left you on the couch and went to bed when you were unresponsive! WTF is that?

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

mikenberger · December 2014

Go to the ER and get a blood test drawn, now. Something sounds fishy in your story. Definitely.

Rough night

I'd talk to your FI about what happened. I would expect more out of my FI if something like that happened to me. Even if I was just drunk and not drugged, I'd expect more.

WinstonsGirl · December 2014

I think you need to get yourself tested. It sounds like you were lucky in that nothing "dangerous" happened (i.e.. with a stranger, etc.), but please go get checked out as if you were drugged, they should still be in your system. If there is no trace, perhaps it's another issues that is just coming to light now that you can also look into. This does not sound like abnormal drunken night out and you need to take care of yourself first. Hugs to you

JCbride2015 · December 2014

Yes, get yourself to the ER. There might still be something in your system and you should be checked out just in case.

I would also expect a lot more from my Fi. If blacking out is not normal drunken behavior, I'd think he would be much more worried than it sounds like he was. I can tell you that if literally slapping my face and yelling my name didn't work and I was totally unresponsive, my Fi would be taking me to the ER immediately, not leaving me on the couch.

I'm sorry.

Have a talk with your Fi about this.

phira · December 2014

That sounds EXTREMELY fishy to me. 8 drinks, even over 5 hours, is a lot, but I've been incredibly intoxicated before (like, 4 drinks in one hour) and yeah: you don't just black out mid-sentence and wake up without a hangover.

Your FI needs to get his shit together. He should have brought you to the emergency room. Holy shit.

sophhabobopha · December 2014

Dear god. Get yourself to the hospital. So sorry this happened ):'

And WTF, Fi?

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

Do what your FI should have done last night and get yourself to the hospital.

huskypuppy14 · December 2014

So your husband carried you (I assume) from the Uber car to the couch, and just left you there unresponsive. What the hell is the matter with him!

You need to talk to your FI, and if you feel comfortable go the ER.

Also, who roofies someone with their FI right there? What kind of holiday party was it? Friends or work? Did you know most of the people there? I have so many questions.

I'm sorry this happened to you. It sounds really scary.

beethery · December 2014

huskypuppy14 said:

So your husband carried you (I assume) from the Uber car to the couch, and just left you there unresponsive. What the hell is the matter with him!

You need to talk to your FI, and if you feel comfortable go the ER.

Also, who roofies someone with their FI right there? What kind of holiday party was it? Friends or work? Did you know most of the people there? I have so many questions.

I'm sorry this happened to you. It sounds really scary.

My friend's parents were out at a bar somewhere in Sweden (local to them, they're from Stockholm) and some dickhead roofied my friend's mom's beer. People are un-fucking-believable and have NO SCRUPLES about this shit, whatsoever.

climbingsingle · December 2014

I believe you. Go to the ER!

jdluvr06 · December 2014

I believe you. Please go to the ER

mrs4everhart · December 2014

I'm going to cut your FI a ton of slack. Because I assume he wasn't sober either. And that's why you guys were in an Uber in the first place - because neither of you should have been driving. So I'm not sure why if getting home from the bar was an unsafe drive, why driving to the ER was any better of an idea. Second, still assuming he was intoxicated too, he probably wasn't making the best decisions ever. That's why there's a huge difference between being drunk and sober.

I can imagine you feel violated in some way, as you should because some creepy fucker may have slipped you something.

If you go to the ER today what are you hoping to accomplish? Let's say that you test positive from some drug that you didn't take yourself. Now what? If you're invested enough to try to get this incident to the police or the bar owner then proceed, sure.

In a perfect world the bar will have surveillance footage, someone will sit through an hour or so of footage watching you, your drink(s), and everyone who came near it, then by a stroke of extreme luck the camera catches said creeper taking out a pill/powder/tincture, his/her face, the act of he or she putting it in your drink, your drinking the drink, etc. What are the odds?

I run a bar. Our cameras are not there for the consumer, they are there to protect our assets. Meaning they are located over cash registers, store rooms, liquor storage, coolers and offices. This is the arrangement in most bars with cameras. Sure, we have other cameras in other places, but it's rare they ever catch anything nefarious in great detail. And rarely, if ever, is the footage good enough to use in prosecution. So my question really goes back to how much effort do you want to put into this seriously?

Be thankful you got home safely with your FI and not the drug-wielding creeper. Be thankful you feel okay this morning. And never, EVER leave your drink out of your sight or unattended ever, ever again. Because unless it was the bartender, you should have physical control over your beverage at all times. It's a sad world that we need to be that vigilant at all times, but that's just a fact. I watch women (and men) many nights of the week leave their drinks on the bar or at their table (usually with their purses too) to go to the bathroom or head to the dance floor and I get so damn frustrated. It's not that I don't want these women to be able to do this worry free, but it only takes a second to slip someone something and turn their night into a horror movie. Maybe I'm paranoid (okay, I am, I admit it) but I trust very few people and pretty much zero strangers.

Count your lucky stars you're okay, call the bar and let them know in case they have other similar complaints from last night, and try to do something today to take your mind off creepy fuckers who suck at life.

atlastmrsg · December 2014

Eight drinks is a lot. I get that everyone here's probably had more than that in college, etc., but still.

Were you tired? Dehydrated? During lent, I'd only had one meal and passed out after two glasses of wine. FI couldn't wake me up.

And, as much as everyone here says go to the ER today--after the fact, how good is your health insurance? My work is cheap. If I go to the ER, it will cost me a small fortune. Something to think about. Is it worth $2,500 to find out whether someone roofied you or not? That's my ER deductible before insurance kicks in. It might be $3,500. Especially when GHB and other things are hard to detect. And after I pay the first $2,500/$3,500, then I have to cover a certain percentage of charges after that.

Use it as a learning experience. You probably don't need eight drinks in a night. Watch your drinks and your company. And tell your FI not to be such a dumbass.

ETA: average charge to go to ER for a UTI is $2,598 as a reference point for going in now for urine and other screenings. http://m.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/02/how-much-does-it-cost-to-go-to-the-er/273599/

JaniV123 · December 2014

i dont know what to tell you other than I am so sorry you are going through this. I would have a serious convo with you FI and figure out what happened between the both of you. If it makes you feel any better, go to the ER.

lovegood90 · December 2014

atlastmrsg said:
Eight drinks is a lot. I get that everyone here's probably had more than that in college, etc., but still.

Were you tired? Dehydrated? During lent, I'd only had one meal and passed out after two glasses of wine. FI couldn't wake me up.

And, as much as everyone here says go to the ER, how good is your health insurance? My work is cheap. If I go to the ER, it will cost me a small fortune. Something to think about. Is it worth $2,500 to find out whether someone roofied you or not? That's my ER deductible before insurance kicks in. It might be $3,500. Especially when GHB and other things are hard to detect. And after I pay the first $2,500/$3,500, then I have to cover a certain percentage of charges after that.

Use it as a learning experience. You probably don't need eight drinks in a night. Watch your drinks and your company. And tell your FI not to be such a dumbass.

"You probably don't need 8 drinks in a night" what the actual fuck is this victim blamey bullshit? I bet you tell teen girls to stop "tempting" their male peers with their clothing too.

Op: so sorry this happened! I agree with others, get to the ER and have a talk with your Fi about him just leaving you on the couch like that.

VulgarGirl · December 2014

I brought this up in the nest thread yesterday but let's review if someone is unresponsive after drinking we call 911. Ok? 911. Um...in the US at least other countries please call your version of 911.

And yes get yourself to a hospital.

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

Wtf Everhart?! If a crime was committed, it needs to be reported. Not "you should be more vigilant with your drink." The fuck.

novella1186 · December 2014

mrs4everhart said:

I'm going to cut your FI a ton of slack. Because I assume he wasn't sober either. And that's why you guys were in an Uber in the first place - because neither of you should have been driving. So I'm not sure why if getting home from the bar was an unsafe drive, why driving to the ER was any better of an idea. Second, still assuming he was intoxicated too, he probably wasn't making the best decisions ever. That's why there's a huge difference between being drunk and sober.

I can imagine you feel violated in some way, as you should because some creepy fucker may have slipped you something.

If you go to the ER today what are you hoping to accomplish? Let's say that you test positive from some drug that you didn't take yourself. Now what? If you're invested enough to try to get this incident to the police or the bar owner then proceed, sure.

In a perfect world the bar will have surveillance footage, someone will sit through an hour or so of footage watching you, your drink(s), and everyone who came near it, then by a stroke of extreme luck the camera catches said creeper taking out a pill/powder/tincture, his/her face, the act of he or she putting it in your drink, your drinking the drink, etc. What are the odds?

I run a bar. Our cameras are not there for the consumer, they are there to protect our assets. Meaning they are located over cash registers, store rooms, liquor storage, coolers and offices. This is the arrangement in most bars with cameras. Sure, we have other cameras in other places, but it's rare they ever catch anything nefarious in great detail. And rarely, if ever, is the footage good enough to use in prosecution. So my question really goes back to how much effort do you want to put into this seriously?

Be thankful you got home safely with your FI and not the drug-wielding creeper. Be thankful you feel okay this morning. And never, EVER leave your drink out of your sight or unattended ever, ever again. Because unless it was the bartender, you should have physical control over your beverage at all times. It's a sad world that we need to be that vigilant at all times, but that's just a fact. I watch women (and men) many nights of the week leave their drinks on the bar or at their table (usually with their purses too) to go to the bathroom or head to the dance floor and I get so damn frustrated. It's not that I don't want these women to be able to do this worry free, but it only takes a second to slip someone something and turn their night into a horror movie. Maybe I'm paranoid (okay, I am, I admit it) but I trust very few people and pretty much zero strangers.

Count your lucky stars you're okay, call the bar and let them know in case they have other similar complaints from last night, and try to do something today to take your mind off creepy fuckers who suck at life.

What the fucking fuck? Seriously? What going to the ER would accomplish: Making sure she's ok and doesn't suffer any further negative effects from having a drug in her system, as well as confirming whether or not a drug is still in her system and what drug it is.

How much effort does she want to put into this? Um... this isn't a fucking community theater event. This is her life, her health, her safety, and her well-being. If it were me, I'd be willing to put a whole fuck ton of effort in.

And, victim blaming much? Good one.

OP, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I 100% believe you, and this is not your fault. Take good care of yourself, and have a serious talk with your FI. Hugs.

lyndausvi · December 2014

I'm sorry to hear about this. I had something like that happen to me years ago (before I met DH). I only had 2 glasses of wine. It was scary. I lived by myself and didn't know how I got home. Later found out a friend took me home.

I was living in the islands at the time, I doubt very much they even had the ability to test and our ER pretty much sucked, so I would not have gone anyway. I'm just assuming I was drugged. I've drank an entire day on a boat trip (more than once) and not had it effected me like those 2 glasses of wine did to me.

Before I get mad at your FI I guess I needed to know his state also. My DH has gotten pretty drunk and I let him pass out on the couch. I had been drinking myself, so I would not have been the best person to be making sound decisions.

mrstrevor3 · December 2014

bethsmiles said:

I 100% believe you. Reading your story, as soon as you said everything suddenly went black it made me think you were drugged. You can get a drug test but you would need to do it ASAP because most drugs leave the body in 24 - 72 hours but what you are describing absolutely sounds like something was slipped into your drink.

I can't believe your FI just left you on the couch and went to bed when you were unresponsive! WTF is that?

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

In my youth (well, when I was younger) I used to black out a lot. It was exactly what you are describing. If you have drank that much before and this never happens, then I would say just to be safe to go and get a blood test done.

mrs4everhart · December 2014

Ah, "victim blaming" one of my favorite misnomers. All "victim" is is a term for someone wha had something shitty happen to them against their will either by someone else's negligence or fault. Who wants to be one of those? Who wouldn't do everything in their power to prevent that?

I'm on my way to work, during the season we see more of this type of stuff than usual. Between 9:00 pm and 2:00 am I will personally witness at least 25 specific acts of potential victimization. I can't lecture them all so I'll hope for the best for them.

I never told the OP she shouldn't seek medical attention, I asked why she wanted to. Because as I provided clear examples, this type of thing rarely goes further than a police report. The bullshit aggravation she may go through, and possible expense may not be worth it depending upon what she hopes to accomplish. If it's just to get checked out medically, sure, if she thinks it's worthwhile, she should. But hoping it will spur the police to really take this seriously is a long shot. She wasn't abducted, mugged, raped, etc. She just blacked out and woke up on her couch at home, with her FI who reported no trouble. The police aren't going to do much but add this to the heap.

After my hours spent watching flagging personal responsibility tonight I have the right to throw on my running shoes at 3:30 in the morning and go for a run in City Park, in the dark, alone. If I'm gang raped by a group of scumbags they are solely responsible for the victim label I'll have applied to me. Great, we'll have our terminology correct but thanks, I'd rather hop on my treadmill and not be "victimized."

I'll wear my seatbelt on my drive home too. Not because I don't trust my own driving but because I'd like to mitigate the damage of potential victimization by others as best as possible. I won't pick up any hitchhikers either and I'll lock my doors when I get home. Common sense all of them, even though I have the right to not do any of these things and no has the right to victimize me. I take my safety extremely seriously, and watch people all the time who clearly do not. Not saying that of the OP, however, she's not the only one reading this.

There's lots of scenarios in life that are completely out of our control and cannot be avoided. Who has access to your cocktail in public ain't one of them.

blabla89 · December 2014

Blacking out is a scary experience. I'm sorry you went through this and I'm sending you lots of hugs!

I do think it's a good idea to see a doctor immediately. If that's not an option, perhaps you could call a hotline to ask what steps you should take, because it does sound like you may have been drugged.

ETA: Just curious, do you take any prescription medications that can interact with alcohol? One of the anti-anxiety meds I used to take made me feel like I had much more to drink than I actually did, and never left a hangover.

beethery · December 2014

You are fucking DISGUSTING, everhate. Just the fucking worst.

Type out a long-winded bullshit response. Go right ahead.

You're going to be gone soon enough and it's going to be fucking awesome when you can't bring your deluded troll ass in here to write sickening garbage anymore. I fucking hate you.

lovegood90 · December 2014

Seriously, the OP even said she was crying as she was writing this. Can't you leave your shit stirring to PPD threads? I'm so disgusted.

holyguacamole79 · December 2014

OP, I'd definitely have a talk with FI. He should have taken you to the ER. Everhart, go back to planning another wedding.

novella1186 · December 2014

mrs4everhart said:

Ah, "victim blaming" one of my favorite misnomers. All "victim" is is a term for someone wha had something shitty happen to them against their will either by someone else's negligence or fault. Who wants to be one of those? Who wouldn't do everything in their power to prevent that?

I'm on my way to work, during the season we see more of this type of stuff than usual. Between 9:00 pm and 2:00 am I will personally witness at least 25 specific acts of potential victimization. I can't lecture them all so I'll hope for the best for them.

I never told the OP she shouldn't seek medical attention, I asked why she wanted to. Because as I provided clear examples, this type of thing rarely goes further than a police report. The bullshit aggravation she may go through, and possible expense may not be worth it depending upon what she hopes to accomplish. If it's just to get checked out medically, sure, if she thinks it's worthwhile, she should. But hoping it will spur the police to really take this seriously is a long shot. She wasn't abducted, mugged, raped, etc. She just blacked out and woke up on her couch at home, with her FI who reported no trouble. The police aren't going to do much but add this to the heap.

After my hours spent watching flagging personal responsibility tonight I have the right to throw on my running shoes at 3:30 in the morning and go for a run in City Park, in the dark, alone. If I'm gang raped by a group of scumbags they are solely responsible for the victim label I'll have applied to me. Great, we'll have our terminology correct but thanks, I'd rather hop on my treadmill and not be "victimized."

I'll wear my seatbelt on my drive home too. Not because I don't trust my own driving but because I'd like to mitigate the damage of potential victimization by others as best as possible. I won't pick up any hitchhikers either and I'll lock my doors when I get home. Common sense all of them, even though I have the right to not do any of these things and no has the right to victimize me. I take my safety extremely seriously, and watch people all the time who clearly do not. Not saying that of the OP, however, she's not the only one reading this.

There's lots of scenarios in life that are completely out of our control and cannot be avoided. Who has access to your cocktail in public ain't one of them.

FTFY

beethery · December 2014

BRB guys I'm going to the store. Hopefully I don't get surprised by sex from a stranger while I'm out. I mean, if I leave the house, that means I've consented and responsible for it. Makes sense!

climbingsingle · December 2014

Everhart, your posts in this thread are fucking reprehensible. Go somewhere else with this bullshit.
OP I hope you're doing ok. Please update us when you can.

sophhabobopha · December 2014

beethery said:

BRB guys I'm going to the store. Hopefully I don't get surprised by sex from a stranger while I'm out. I mean, if I leave the house, that means I've consented and responsible for it. Makes sense!

Cover your arms!

mrs4everhart · December 2014

holyguacamole79 said:
OP, I'd definitely have a talk with FI. He should have taken you to the ER. Everhart, go back to planning another wedding.

Hmm. I didn't think I could top my first one, I damn sure don't think I could pull off anything as awesome as my second. Maybe a VW one day, but they don't appeal to me, so I'll have to stay satisfied with my last one or trade Mr. Everhart in. Seems a lot of effort though, I'll pass.

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