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Chit Chat
lace&lemons
member
Just A Little Bumbed
in Chit Chat
Back story,
We've been dating ten months. We've gone ring shopping so he can get an idea of what I want. At every store he picked the ring I fell in love with so I have no worries about him picking it. He says it'll be next year but I told him I don't want to know exactly when. There's a "plan" that some friends are in on but I said I want to know nothing and be surprised when it happens.
We've started planning the wedding but only a handful of people are involved so that we can still have our surprise. Since we want to get married next October we had to go ahead and book a venue. All the venues in my area that we were interested in (ie big enough) have already booked all their Saturdays in October so we had to book a Sunday.
Lately,
I think he's been getting excited it's so soon. He's been dropping hints even though I've asked him not to. I think after our talk last night he'll stop. I'm just bummed that I already know so much.
He randomly hinted two months ago that when he shaves his beard, that will be the day. So I guessed it would be New Years since we're getting all dressed up and going to dinner. But apparently he was texting with my best friend about the plan and I read really fast. It was an accident but I saw the message say it won't be on New Year's "anymore." So that means I was right.
Well I guess my best friend told him I was getting flustered trying not to get excited and plan everything because last night he tried to reassure me. But instead upset me more by telling me more of the plan. I now know it will be after New Year's and before our anniversary on Feb 8th.
I KNOW that I should just be excited. And I really am. I can't wait to see the ring he picked out and finally tell EVERYONE that I'm marrying the sweetest man in the world. So I'm just venting. I'll wallow for a minute and then wait in anticipation everyday leading to Feb 8th. But for right now, I'm just a little bummed.
We've been dating ten months. We've gone ring shopping so he can get an idea of what I want. At every store he picked the ring I fell in love with so I have no worries about him picking it. He says it'll be next year but I told him I don't want to know exactly when. There's a "plan" that some friends are in on but I said I want to know nothing and be surprised when it happens.
We've started planning the wedding but only a handful of people are involved so that we can still have our surprise. Since we want to get married next October we had to go ahead and book a venue. All the venues in my area that we were interested in (ie big enough) have already booked all their Saturdays in October so we had to book a Sunday.
Lately,
I think he's been getting excited it's so soon. He's been dropping hints even though I've asked him not to. I think after our talk last night he'll stop. I'm just bummed that I already know so much.
He randomly hinted two months ago that when he shaves his beard, that will be the day. So I guessed it would be New Years since we're getting all dressed up and going to dinner. But apparently he was texting with my best friend about the plan and I read really fast. It was an accident but I saw the message say it won't be on New Year's "anymore." So that means I was right.
Well I guess my best friend told him I was getting flustered trying not to get excited and plan everything because last night he tried to reassure me. But instead upset me more by telling me more of the plan. I now know it will be after New Year's and before our anniversary on Feb 8th.
I KNOW that I should just be excited. And I really am. I can't wait to see the ring he picked out and finally tell EVERYONE that I'm marrying the sweetest man in the world. So I'm just venting. I'll wallow for a minute and then wait in anticipation everyday leading to Feb 8th. But for right now, I'm just a little bummed.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Just A Little Bumbed
We picked out my ring together. We paid for it together. Asking was a formality- we already decided. It seems like you're already engaged.
Also if you have a date and vendors... really, you're planning a wedding so you are engaged. You don't need a ring to be engaged, and you don't need an over the top proposal. If he still wants to make a gesture with it, cool. But this isn't worth the stress!
I had a REALsurprise proposal. DH and I had known each other for 9 years, and had dated in high school. He moved 1100 miles away for his job. He was visiting his parents and came to see me. We were together for two days. He sent me an airplane ticket to fly and visit him for another four days. On the second day of my visit, he proposed, without a ring. I had no clue that he was that serious. It was a bolt out of the blue.
His proposal was practical, not really romantic, but very sincere. I was mature enough not to fret over romantic nonsense, and appreciate his sense of commitment, integrity and sincerity. We have been married 38 years.
I understand being bummed, but this is adult-ing, not Disney.
We decided we were going to get married in May - but J hadn't met my family yet, so he didn't "propose" and give me a ring. We were planning our wedding when we went to visit my family at the beginning of July.
After we got back, we were only going to get to see each other on the Thursday of that week, since I was working nights. I knew it was going to be that day, and by George, I was right. While I knew it was coming, I didn't know how it was going to happen, and that was surprise enough for me.
It'll be just fine.
Thinking you need this huge romantic show where you gasp and are all "omg I didn't see this coming!" is just not necessary, and doesn't work for everyone, and is now unrealistic of you to expect, because your wedding plans are quite solidly in the works already.
I didn't get the proposal I thought I would get. In fact, my FI had made several big romantic plans which would have been pretty epic but I inadvertently ruined them all because I didn't get it. Finally out of desperation he proposed in the car parked outside of a restaurant. I was so caught off guard that I thought he was joking, so I jokingly said no. It wasn't the reaction I imagined myself having and I'm sure it's not the reaction he was expecting. There was no photographer to capture it all, or a crying cheering crowd of our friends and family, or a huge show, or any of the dramatic bs you see in the movies. But it was sweet and memorable and wonderful for us, in our own way, and I love telling the story.
It's still special, even if it's not the classic Hallmark moment. Just do you.
ETF: words
This is basically us. FI and I had decided to get married and were starting to plan about a year ago. There was never any proposal, he got me a promise ring as a place holder until he finally got "the real" ring.
When I first came here I realized very quickly even without te big proposal I was still very much engaged. FI still wants to officially ask with a ring, but I've told him well be just as married at the end whether he does it or not.
Whether or not you know it's coming is so insignificant (as long as you're on the same page about marriage). Just try to appreciate the fact that you've found your person
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fka dallasbetch
You are already planning the wedding and have a venue booked... you are already engaged, even if you don't have the ring yet. And how can you have a "surprise proposal" when you already know it's coming? You need to focus on what you do have (an awesome guy that is trying hard to accommodate your silly, big surprise proposal desire, which is probably super stressful on him) and not get all worked up over how or when it happens.
No matter how or when he "proposes", it will be awesome and meaningful. My DH proposed to me in the parking lot at Disney World... he had planned on doing it in front of the castle, or during the fireworks, in some big romantic gesture, but something happened each time to screw it up... so while we were waiting for the shuttle to our hotel, he decided to just do it... and it was perfect. Did I always imagine my dream proposal to be in a parking lot? No. But, it was still awesome and perfect.
Just forget about it and let it happen. And remember that if you have the right person, the proposal will be perfect no matter how it happens.