Well here's my situation: My fiance and
I can't really agree on a definitive guest list. He has WAY more
friends then I do and he's always been known for throwing huge
parties and everything in the past when he was single... so most of
his friends are EXPECTING something huge from him. Which kind of
makes me feel weird and I already suffer from social anxiety so the
whole thing (were not planning on getting married until late 2016)
but every time he brings up “wedding talk” I get anxiety. I don't
have many friends, seriously only 10 or 15 that I wanted to invite,
mostly family... so because of this I wanted a smaller wedding. So we
can't really agree on a number. I even brought up the idea to elope!
Which obviously didn't fly either haha. SO another idea I had that I
actually got him to seriously consider was having an “intimate
destination wedding”which would either be Hawaii or somewhere out
of the country and include just our immediate family, wedding party,
and a few friends.
I was hoping Theknot would have it's
own sub forum on destination weddings but I guess it's not that
popular so I hope this is the right place to talk about it? Anyway I
was wondering if you guys had any suggestions for locations for a
“destination wedding” other than Hawaii, OR even better, websites
or resources I can check out with like, packages and deals, that
would be great! The budget for our wedding locally was going to be
between $20-$30k so if we could come in significantly below that,
that would be great. Is that possible, or are destination weddings
just as expensive, if not more expensive than regular weddings? I
have no idea this is my first time asking about them! Any other tips
or advice you guys can give me about them would be great! Thanks!
Re: Destination Wedding? Suggestions?
You can have it anywhere you want, and at any budget, although I'd be more concerned about making sure you're actually on the same page as far as the type of wedding you both want and who you each really want to have there. You shouldn't be forced into making these decisions based on the expectations of people who aren't paying for it, i.e. his friends.
Our DW what in the next city over from DH's aunts and grandparents, and we still didn't invite them (it was just us and parents).
- - box?? - -
If someone gets butthurt that they didn't get invited to your wedding, that's their problem. Do not bend over backwards and force additional expense onto the people who ARE close enough to be invited, just to spare the feelings of some party animals who feel like your FI owes them a great time. That's not what weddings need to be about.
Well most of that additional cost falls upon your guests, not you. So you have some savings by inviting fewer guests, but your guests pay a LOT of money to be there. If you're having a DW because the location has meaning to you, that's great. But doing it only to get out of inviting extended people, while making it more expensive for close people... ehhh.
That was one thing I was wondering when I first read this (who's paying). @larrygaga is right - he (or she) who pays gets a say. I would strongly encourage you two to talk about this seriously (possibly with someone neutral to mediate). It sounds to me like you two need better conflict resolution skills. Also, always assume 100% attendance.
You got advice, just not the advice you wanted.
Go back and read your original post. It doesn't match your last one.